Tout Le Monde,

Where do I start?  I've always been a vehicle of passion and emotion when it came to seizing and conquering the likes of a boy.  I've plotted out and played with the minds to get what I want.  As deceitful as that is I cannot have any remorse over it because it snagged me the guy that I have been eyeing.

So different scenerio uno.  The guy wasn't the typical guy that I've set my heart on.  No games no ploys, just plain simple to the point honesty.  I don't think I've ever been straight forward with anybody.  Gorgeous to boot, I'm just here and he's pining after me, so what do I do?

Kinda going through the motions and for some reason adding a touch here and there of helplessness, lust, yearnings, happiness, and contentment, I let him know.  There's no guess as to how I feel and perhaps definately not from his side.  On top of that, this had been the longest since I've been "talking" to a guy and hadn't jump too quick in the sack with him.  It's been annoyingly slooowww but fun, honest, and genuine.

Problem 1:  I haven't taken account into my feelings.  I know I do like him. I miss being with him every now and then.  But I can't pin point a definate feeling.  I feel like I'm lost in all this but at the same time I'm not worried about it nor trying to figure it out.

Problem 2:  Anybody would say that this guy is totally into me and our conversations would back that up.  I believe in the things he says and I do believe that he could possibly like me.  But I don't.  I'm still bounded by skepticism and paranoia that I feel like there's going to be a catch.  There always is a catch.

So as a result what do I feel like doing?  RUNNING!  Everything was nice and fun but I feel like I should check out before the cleaning lady comes or something.  I don't know maybe it's me. 

~ready to run...