Tout le Monde,

I went over to Hopelesses house today or er... yesterday (it's 2:30am).  He seemed upset with me because I guess I made it sound like I didn't want to see him.  It's not that.  I had told him that I wanted to study so I wouldn't have that much time or the mind set to be with him untill after my test Wednesday.

Anyhow a lot of misunderstanding and hanging up on each other followed after.  I decided to suck it up and deal with this shit.  I chose to drive up to New York to settle whatever was going on in his head.  So I drove up there and tried to talk to him about what was wrong.  He was upset about a lot of different things and that I wasn't really the main part of it.  The whole maybe five minutes I got nothing.  I still felt like he was keeping something from me, whether he was really mad at me or if he was going through something more than just the regular.  Needless to say his brother called him for pot and left the conversation.

That made me mad.  I drove all the way to talk to him and he spends it drinking and smoking.  I couldn't talk to him about everything and I don't think he really appreciated me being there just to make him happy.  You know stuff like that just makes me not want to do that ever again.  Granted he didn't ask me to go there but how can you not appreciate or at least humor one's efforts just to show you that they care?

I'm ok though. I'm happy I got to see him.  I just left unsatisfied because I feel like I didn't get a 'gold star' or an 'A for effort'.  Oh well, he sucks then if he can't see how sucky I feel.  I tried.

~C'est le vie