Tout Le Monde,

Was there a memo in the 'Vector' today? (School newspaper)  Because It seems that people I care about and talk to have been really pulling the big one on me.  A little bruised from Tuesdays Dinner from annoying hell, today rolls along and I though I was going to shine. 

I was wrong two friends of mine or supposed friends of mine were plucking at me today.  A simple comment about how the people in the Philippines go around bombing Americans or as they put it 'white' people.  And a simple reaction from me of 'No they don't blow up people', escalated into an unecessary argument about how I blow things out of proportion and how I say things intentionally to be mean or insulting.  Anybody who knows me is probably laughing at that last sentence because in actually people can misinterpret things the wrong way.  For this 'Angryman' that says 'loves to argue' all I said what they don't blow up people. Point blank Angryman blew it out of proportion because he mistook what I said as an insult and clearly said that he didn't want to stop because he likes to argue and be angry, so you tell me who blew it out of proportion.  It was like 50 minutes of arguing that I had to endure and sorry I'm not that strong I left the cafeteria and started to baul my eyes out because for me to treat someone as a friend and have them assume things about me and call me out on things and twist my words is messed up!  That totally questions my relationship with them as friends.  I don't need this highschool shit.  They mistreated my generousity and friendship so now yeah I will blow it out of proportion and not take time out of my life to hang out with them.  I'm tired of just laying back and taking the jokes in stride, then standing up once and a while, then being labled the girl that can't handle jokes.  Fuck you all!  You haven't met anyone nicer, forgiving, or funnier than me!

On with my day, I went back to my room and cried and cried.  I felt stupid that Angryman made me cry and stupid that I let myself cry and let him see it.  I cried because it hurts a bunch when people you think would care about you and would understand where you're coming from, don't and insist on labling me something that I'm not.  I cried because they were supposed to be my friends and clearly they are not.

I told Hopeless about it.  I didn't want to but I didn't know what else to do.  I don't like looking, sounding, or appearing weak, and I did to everybody.  It hurt because when I was telling Hopeless about it I would hope that he would catch some of the things I'm saying because he would tend to say the same thing about me letting what people say bother me.  But it wasn't that it was the fact that I've been crossed one two many times and when I finally say something THEY blow it out of proportion by saying that I took it too seriously.   All I'd do is just state my opinion about it.

Well anyhow,  Hopeless called me later.  I guess he felt bad and wanted me to be happy again.  I'm glad he did that.  At the end of the day and after all the crying and defending I can put a smile on my face. If he hadn't spoken to me I'd still be upset.  I have to give him kudos for that.  I didn't really think he'd want to hear all this or Tuesday would want to stick around me and try to make me feel better.  He's a pure sweetheart for that.

~This too shall pass