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| A GREAT DEFINITION |
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| I met an old university friend the other day who, in his youth, had professed a great desire to become a great writer. When I asked him to define 'great', he said: "I want to write stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level; stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger." I just discovered he is now working for Microsoft... writing error messages. |
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| 10 SIGNS YOU JOINED A CHEAP HMO |
| 10. Annual breast exams conducted at Hooters. 9. Directions to your doctor's office include,"Take left when you enter the trailer park." 8. Tounge depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicle. 7. The only proctologist in the plan is Gus from Roto - Rooter. 6. The only item listed under Preventive Care coverage is " an apple a day." 5. Your "primary care physician" is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month. 4. " Patient responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges is not a typo. 3. The only thing 100% covered is embalming. 2. Your Prozac has little 'm's on them. 1. For Viagra you get a popsicle stick and duct tape. |
| A woman gets up, puts up the shade, takes the cover off the parrot's cage, makes coffee, and smokes a cigarette. The phone rings. It's her fiancee saying he is coming over. She snubs out the cigarette, pulls down the shade, puts the cver back on the parrot's cage, and get's back in bed. From under his cover the parrot says: " Well, THAT was a short day! " |
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