Thoughts of Suicide

Lying awake at night
Thoughts of suicide
Fill her wandering mind

What would they say
Family, friends, enemies
What would they think?

She sees her Mom
Standing over her dying body
Eyes filled with fear

Silently, she asks the dreaded question
What went wrong
(where did I go wrong)

Dreaded because there is no real answer
No real rhyme or reason
Is she/was she depressed?

No, just lost
Filled with bitter hated
Of those she's supposed to love

Resenting herself
For the was she's always been
The way she still is

Why is she that way?
No one knows
Even she has no idea

The girl in her bed
The real girl
Tries to think of other things

But her mind keeps turned back
Outside of her control
To the sharp, shiny knife

Its cutting her now
Tearing at pale, soft flesh
She screams in pain

Blood seeps out
Thick, red, real
(oh god, the mess)

She sees her friends
Discovering the hidden truth
She sees their shocked faces

Will they cry?
No, not them
She wonders if anyone will cry

'I'll do it tomorrow' she thinks
Starts to make plans
Afraid of her own descisivness

Next morning
The plan is all but forgotten
Until the next time
She lies alone at night