Ways To Know You're Not Normal

You fall over for no reason

You talk about really stupid things all the time, even when no one is listening

You make clothes for your pen

You name your pen

You run around outside in your pyjamas

You carry around a toy animal in your pocket

You carry around a pet in your pocket (a live one)

You laugh crazily at the word 'potato'

You become hysterical for no apparent reason

You steal a rock and hold it for ransom

You write stories where you kill everyone you know and scare them

You send death threats to complete strangers

You suddenly blank out and don't remember the last ten minutes

You do strange dances while wearing a wig

You wander around your house singing songs from musicals

You sellotape your hands together, then complain when they turn purple

Throw socks at people

You fool about with fruit

You make your own makeshift flame thrower

You have a flying Christmas Armidillo called Ross

You pull labels out of your school blazer

You wear towels on your head

You glue your fingers together

You staple your hand to the table

You mix weird foods, eg. Salad and custard, or cheese and chocolate

You eat paractemal and pain killers as if they were sweets

You yell out "Oh My God" in the middle of assembly

You grow a second head

You talk to your hand

When you talk to it, your hand anwers you

You try to count to ten, but forget what comes after eleven

You get terrified by web cams

You really believe that Big Brother is always watching you

You like Star Trek

You frequently shout out "Octymoon" at people

You laugh at your teachers jokes

You fall over things that are on the other side of the room

You randomly shout out things like "purple flavoured monkeys!" and "flying iguanas overboard!"

You believe that the Lesser Spotted Shevy Warbler is a real bird

You write lists about ways to know you're not normal

You put a rat on a stick and swing it around and throw it.

Play with imaginary chickens

You eat shaving foam, tipex, and the occasional toilet duck

You draw on your own and other people's body parts for no reason

Shaving sheep is the most educational thing you have done in over ten years

You go around telling people you live in a giant walnut

You like to use hamsters as leg warmers

You throw polos at seagulls

At night, you go up to a cow that is sleeping standing up, and push it over into a pile of cow dung

You think you really need 3 mobile phones

You're reading this dumb list.