Ever since it first happened I haven't had a chance to think about it --
everything is happening so fast and I feel as if I'm out of control. Maybe
that's why we're doing this, the feeling that is so intense and crazy . . .
all of this is crazy.

I finally realized this as I sat in the airplane bathroom -- not even really
a bathroom. But big enough for us to do the deed.

I smiled unconsciously as I looked around at the ridiculously small room;
barely big enough for one person. Chandler and I are so overcome with this
passion we've discovered that we're using an airplane bathroom as a last
result.

How ironic is it that I want to jump Chandler Bing so badly that I'd do it in
this disgusting little room. Maybe I can talk to the pilot, ask him if I can
clean this room for him . . . getting off subject, Monica.

I leaned against the wall with a heavy sigh. What the hell am I doing?
Finally everything was catching up to me and the insanity of it was weighing
me down.

We had an agreement . . . keep it as a romantic fling . . . but was I
prepared to go through with that?

No, I don't think so. Because in one night the line between friends and
lovers had been crossed and it's nearly impossible to cross right back.
Especially when I want him as much as I do and I'm sure he feels the same
way about me.

Who am I kidding? Of course he does . . . seven times in one night . . . why
was he asking me for advice about sex when he was with Kathy?

This was supposed to be our last chance, but it wasn't going to happen. I had
been waiting in the bathroom long enough to realize he wasn't coming. I
rolled my eyes, upset at everything -- mostly at myself for these feelings I
was having. Because something deep inside me told me they were wrong. While
another part deep inside told me that it was oh so right.

I stepped out of the bathroom and proceeded to go back to my seat -- using
all of my self control not to stomp in frustration.

". . . you've been in the bathroom for like thirty minutes," Joey was saying.

I glared at Chandler. "I know," I said through my teeth.

He got a defeated look on his face and gestured to Joey -- trying to tell me
that he couldn't get away, then his face seemed to fall as he realized we
most likely weren't going to get another chance. That all he had were
memories.

I shoved at Joey hard until he got the point and left to his own seat and I
sat heavily beside Chandler.

"That was our last--"

"I know," Chandler interrupted, sounding older than he was. "I know," he
repeated, quieter.

"Then it's done," I said, more for my benefit than his. "We're going to be
back in New York in less than ten minutes. This is over."

Chandler looked up at me and in that instant I was terrified and thrilled at
the same time. His eyes showed that he didn't want it to end. He knew it was
crazy, but he didn't want it to end.

I looked away quickly, not wanting to face his searching eyes and hoping that
my feelings weren't so apparent as his had been.

We had to leave it at London.

No matter what, I was going to stick with our agreement.

Even if he threw himself at me that very moment, even if he kissed me . . .
we're never going to be anymore.

London will be a memory . . .

* * * * *

Haley's Note:

The first time I've tried writing in first person in a long time. I used to
prefer it, but now I find third person easier.

These are probably rants, but I wanted to know what happened on that plane
and how Monica could keep herself occupied for half an hour . . . since the
creators are making this a Ross/Rachel season I'm guessing we'll never know.
So I thought 'Hey, I'm an author, I could write what I want to happen'.

So I did.