Monica sighed heavily as she walked out of the bathroom. She grabbed her
purse and pulled out her calender. After a quick check she felt even more
depressed. It had been nearly two months since her last period. That wasn't
a good sign.

"You okay?" Rachel asked, peering at her friend curiously.

Monica forced a smile that didn't reach her eyes. "Perfect, Rach," she lied.

Rachel nodded and went back to the magazine she'd been flipping through, not
caring enough to second guess her friend's answer.

Monica rolled her eyes at her best friend's careless nature and picked up her
purse. "I'm gonna go to Osco, do you need anything?"

"Uh . . ." Rachel paused to think about it, then smiled hopefully. "Do you
think you could pick me up the latest copy of Cosmo? It came out last week
but I haven't felt like getting it."

"Fine," Monica snapped, a little mad. She tapped her finger against her arm.
"Anything else?"

"Nailpolish remover," Rachel answered, then looked back down at her magazine.
"Ugh! Calista Flockhart has a total eating disorder; it's so obvious!"

"Whatever," Monica said, knowing Rachel was too caught up in her magazine to
hear her. She then left the apartment, ready to go pick up a pregnancy test.

* * * * *

Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey were all in Monica and Rachel's apartment
that evening.

"God, Monica's been in the bathroom for a long time," Rachel commented
absently from her spot on the floor. Her and Phoebe were playing a card game
on the coffee table while the guys watched Rush Hour 2.

"I know," Phoebe agreed. "I wonder if anything's wrong."

"Oh! Here she is!" Rachel said as Monica came out of the bathroom, looking
on the verge of tears. "What's wrong, Mon?"

Everybody turned around to look at her and Monica let a single tear fall down
her cheek, but quickly wiped it away.

"Nothing," Monica answered none-to-convincingly, her voice cracking.

Joey grabbed the remote and turned off the TV; a sign that he was truly
worried about Monica. "Come on, Monica. You can tell us."

"I said it's nothing," Monica snapped. She went into the kitchen and started
to do the dishes from dinner.

Rachel got up and made a motion to everybody in the living room that she'd go
check the bathroom. That had been where Monica had come out upset.

Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler all sat patiently, waiting for Rachel to come
back while Monica kept herself busy in the kitchen.

"Monica!" Rachel yelled from the bathroom. She rushed out, looking upset and
excited. "You're pregnant?"

Monica froze and then slowly turned around. "What?"

"There's a pregnancy test in the bathroom, it's positive," Rachel filled in
the group.

Everybody looked shocked, as they should be, and Monica's tears finally
started to fall.

"Oh, honey, come here," Rachel said, going up to Monica and hugging her
tightly. She stroked her hair and tried to soothe her; as did everybody else
who had gotten up and crowded around Monica.

After Monica finally calmed down enough to talk, Rachel started to make her
some hot chocolate while Phoebe gave Monica a massage.

"Aren't you excited, though?" Joey asked. "I mean, all your life you've
always wanted a baby."

"I guess so," Monica said dejectedly. "But I didn't want a baby without a
father. Or a boyfriend for that matter."

"Do you know who the father is?" Rachel asked, setting down a big mug in
front of Monica.

Monica nodded. "I have an idea." She paused. "Yeah, I do know who it is."

"Well?" Phoebe prompted.

Monica shook her head. "I don't want to talk about it," she answered.

"How far along are you?" Chandler asked her.

"Well . . . how long ago was Ross's wedding?" Monica asked without thinking.
Her eyes widened as she realized that she'd just said too much.

"What?" Chandler demanded.

"You hooked up with someone in England? Go, Monica!" Rachel said, patting her
on the back. "Oh. Wait. This is bad, right? I mean, he lives all the way in
England. You're kid's never going to know his daddy."

"What?" Chandler repeated.

Monica looked up at Chandler fearfully. "I-I . . . there hasn't been anybody
else. For a couple of months before, and I haven't been with anybody since.
I'm so sorry," she said, her voice cracking at her last words.

"Why should you be sorry?" Rachel asked, not understanding that Monica was
talking to only Chandler. "This is great! I mean, we can all help raise it,
right? And it'll have little Ben to play with."

"My mother is going to have a field day with this," Monica said bitterly.

"Just don't tell her," Joey suggested.

"I'm sure she won't notice," Monica said sarcastically.

"What?" Chandler repeated again, looking in a daze. "You mean . . . it's
m-mine?"

"What?" everybody asked at the same time, staring at Chandler in confusion.

"There's no other way," Monica answered him. She took his hand in both of
hers. "I am so sorry."

"But how?" Chandler asked. "I mean . . . I used a condom . . . a lot of them
actually."

"And I was on the pill," Monica continued. "Accidents happen though."

"What?" everybody repeated again.

"Oh, dear God," Rachel said, putting a hand to her forehead. "You mean you
slept with Chandler in London? Why would you do that?"

"It was a spur of the moment thing," Monica said defensively. "Besides, we
decided not to do it again when we got back to New York."

"Chandler's having a baby?" Joey asked, sounding shocked.

"And he's not freaking out either!" Phoebe said, sounding amazed.

"Not on the outside anyways," Chandler said. "You're sure?" he asked Monica.

"Well . . . not completely," Monica answered. "I mean, those home pregnancy
tests aren't always accurate. I'll have to get a blood test to be sure."

"This is so unbelievable," Rachel said.

"I know," Monica whispered hoarsely. She gave Chandler a curious glance. "Are
you really Chandler?"

Chandler gave her a look.

"But the Chandler I know would be freaking out by now," she continued.

"I know," Joey agreed. "This is scaring me."

"He should be running home to pack his bags for Yemen by now," Phoebe
continued.

"Ha ha," Chandler said sarcastically. He paused to consider it. "I guess
I'm just in shock."

"Wow, shock-Chandler is scary-Chandler," Phoebe said.

"I know," Rachel agreed. "Couldn't you at least get all . . . you know . . .
Chandler-like . . . it would make us feel a lot better."

"No!" Monica said quickly. "I like this Chandler. I don't know what I'd do
with freaked out-Chandler."

"Maybe become freaked out-Monica?" Joey suggested.

"Joe, I don't think freaked out-Monica exists," Rachel told Joey, patting his
arm comfortingly.

"Are you mad?" Monica asked Chandler.

Chandler shrugged. "I actually don't know what I'm feeling right now. But
I'm positive I'm not mad."

"Good," Monica said, sighing with relief.

"Hey, guys," Ross said, entering the apartment.

"Hey," everybody greeted.

"Guess what!" Rachel said in that way only Rachel can do. "Monica's gonna
have a baby. And guess who's it is!"

"You're pregnant?" Ross demanded, shock leaking through his voice as he
looked at his sister in surprise. He turned to Rachel. "Who's is it?" he
asked, his voice now angry.

"Uh . . . if I say Chandler will you kill him?" Rachel asked, sounding
worried.

"*Chandler*?" Ross asked, sounding more shocked than when he found out his
sister was pregnant. He pointed to Chandler. "This Chandler?"

"Um, honey, how many other Chandler's are there?" Rachel pointed out.

"H-H-H-How?" Ross asked, sounding even more mad.

"Ross, when a man and a woman get horny, they sometimes like to . . . *act*
on those feelings," Joey started. "Now, this may come to a shock to you, but
babies do *not* come from storks."

"Don't feel bad," Phoebe said. "I thought the same thing until I was twenty."

Ross gave her a look. Then glared at Joey. "Joey, I know how it works, okay?
I *do* have a son."

Monica sighed. "Ross, it happened in London, the night before your wedding.
We were both drunk."

"Were you too drunk to use protection?" Ross asked bluntly.

"Actually, and shockingly, no," Chandler answered. "And Monica says she was
on the pill too. We have no idea how it happened."

"Chandler, when a man and a woman get horny, they sometimes like to . . .
*act* on those feelings. Now, this may come to a shock to you--"

"Joey, just shut up," Chandler said, giving Joey a look similiar to the one
Ross had given him a few minutes before. "Ross, we're not even completely
sure if she's pregnant. She's going to the doctor's tomorrow to get a blood
test."

"Alone?" Ross inquired.

"No, I'm going to be there," Chandler said calmly.

"*You're* going to be there?" Monica asked, sounding surprised. "When were
you going to tell me?"

"I figured it was a given," Chandler told her. "I mean, it is my baby too.
Can't I be there to hear that he's actually a baby and not a false alarm?"

"Wow," Monica breathed. "I really, really thought you'd go postal on me.
That's why I was so upset earlier."

Chandler thought about it for a minute. "Well, I guess I *have* given you a
reason to be worried . . . I mean, I do *not* deal with commitment at all."

"True to the words," Joey said, patting his friend on the back.

"Yeah, that reminds me, why aren't you freaking out?" Ross asked Chandler.

Chandler threw his hands up in the air. "I don't know, okay? Maybe it's
because it's Monica. Monica isn't scary, you know?"

"Yeah, and Janice sure as hell was," Joey said. "I can see why you pretended
to move to Yemen. Hey, did you know that Yemem is ACTUALLY a country?"

Everybody gave him looks.

"I know! I was shocked too!" Joey exclaimed.

"On to a different subject," Rachel said quickly. "Mon, if it's a girl can
you name it Rachel? I swear I'll be your best friend."

"Okay, yeah, I'm starting to feel a little bit freaked out," Chandler said
suddenly. "Just . . . don't talk about naming the baby, okay? That's just too
soon for me."

"Sure, sweetie," Monica said, rubbing his arm. "Just so long as you stay in
shock for the next seven or six months, I'm happy."

"Seven months!" Chandler said, starting to get freaked out in that way that
only Chandler can do. "I'm going to have a baby in seven months! That is way,
way too soon! Oh, dear God, please help me."

"Oh, joy," Monica said sarcastically.

* * * * *

The next morning, before anyone came over, Monica was fixing breakfast in
the kitchen when Rachel came in and grabbed a cup of coffee.

"So," Rachel prodded. "How was he?"

"God, how long have you been waiting to ask that?" Monica groaned.

"Too long! Tell me, tell me, tell me . . ." Rachel begged. "I can't go for
another minute not knowing. I mean, I told you all about Ross."

"Fine," Monica gave in. "It was good."

"*Just* good?"

"No. Actually, it was . . . well . . . indescribable," Monica said, sighing.
"We both totally wanted each other, but we didn't want to ruin our friendship
so we decided to keep it in London. You don't know how hard it was, and still
is, for me to not just grab him and rip off his . . . sweater vest . . ."

"Wow, you've got it bad, Monica," Rachel said, sounding like she loved Mon's
answer.

"I know," Monica sighed. "I was so worried he would do something stupid and
totally freak out. Okay, so he did freak a little; but he was relatively
good. Much better than I could have imagined."

"Who initiated the first kiss?" Rachel demanded.

"Me."

"Was it like . . . a fiery, have-to-have-you-know, exotic humping like
bunnies type of thing?"

"No," Monica said dreamily. "It was one of those passionate nights you never
forget. You know what it's like. He's, like, you're best friend, but he's
also a lover too, you know? I never thought I'd think of Chandler like that.
I mean . . . he's *Chandler* for God's sake. But once I crossed that line,
everything he does is cute. All of those hilarious, corny ties make me so
horny I want to do him on the table in front of you all, and those stupid
jokes he makes? Suddenly I can't stop laughing at them."

"Wow," Rachel said softly. "I didn't know you had it *that* bad, sister. But
you're right; I know what you mean. That's the way it was Ross. Suddenly all
of that boring talk about his job was interesting, you know? And his hair was
suddenly sweet and laid-back, not greasy and scary."

"Exactly!" Monica said. "All of his faults and his dorkiness is suddenly just
sweetness and sexiness. He's just . . . so cute."

"Well, in my opinion, he's just an annoying yet sometimes funny deprived as
a child Chandler . . . but, whatever."

Monica laughed. "Right. Anyways, the appointment is scheduled for eleven, I
just hope Chandler doesn't freak out when the blood test comes back
positive."

"You're going to keep the baby even if Chandler goes all Chandler on you,
aren't you?" Rachel asked worriedly.

Monica bit her lip. "I honestly don't know. I mean, I don't want my baby
growing up without a dad. Look what that did to Chandler."

"Yeah," Rachel admitted. "But, Mon, think about it. You've wanted a baby
since you were one yourself. This could be your only chance."

"Gee, thanks," Monica said sarcastically.

"Sorry," Rachel said quickly.

"Whatever," Monica replied. "I'm going over to Joey and Chandler's to tell
them breakfast is ready, okay?"

"Mon . . ."

Monica ignored her and, true to her word, was over at Joey and Chandler's a
few seconds later.

"Hey, you guys," Monica greeted when she saw Joey and Chandler each sitting
on the Barca Loungers, watching some kiddie show.

"Hey, Monica," they both replied.

"Breakfast is ready," Monica tried again.

"What is it?" Joey asked.

"Food," Monica answered.

"I'm there," Joey said, jumping up and running across the hall.

Monica shut the door behind him and went to sit on his chair. Chandler spun
his around so he was facing her.

"Hey," he said softly.

"Hey," she said in the same, hushed tone.

"So . . ." Chandler started again, then trailed off. He laughed a little.
"God, this is awkward, isn't it?"

Monica nodded helplessly. "I know. I thought we'd gotten over that."

"No, we never did. It got better, but we've been awkward with each other
since London," Chandler said matter-of-factly.

"Chandler . . ." Monica trailed off. She tried again, her voice filled with
emotion: "Chandler, I really need you right now."

Chandler looked at her pained face and felt his heart lurch. He opened his
arms and gestured for her to come to him. She got up and climbed into his
lap, laying her head on his chest as he kissed and stroked her hair.

"Everything's going to be okay, Monica," he whispered soothingly. "And if
it's not, you'll still have me."

"Thank you," Monica whispered back.