The next morning, in Monica's bedroom, Monica and Chandler were both under
the covers, holding each other, faint smiles on their faces as they slept.

Chandler woke up first with one of his classic 'Bah!'s, waking Monica up to
shout in surprise as well. They both pointed at each other in shock, then,
quite quickly, they grabbed for the blankets to cover as much of themselves
as they could.

"Oh, my God," Monica finally said after a minute.

"I know," Chandler said from beside her. "I know things have been different
between us lately, but this wasn't supposed to happen. At least, not while
we were drunk."

"Oh, God, what is Rachel gonna say when she sees you. She may have heard us
last night as it was," Monica said, horrified.

* * * * *

Rachel, however, was found in Ross's bedroom, obviously naked underneath the
blankets and alone.

She woke and looked around in confusion, then realized she was in Ross's bed
and silently hit herself on the head. She glanced around the room until she
found her clothes folded neatly on the end of the bed. She pulled them on
quickly, embarassed as she realized Ross had folded them there that morning.

"Hey," Ross greeted from the couch in the living room as she came out of the
bedroom.

"Hey," Rachel greeted back quickly. There was an awkward pause before Rachel
pointed to the door and said: "I'm just gonna go."

Ross nodded and she left quickly. Once in the blissfully empty hallway she
leaned against the wall and banged her head two times as she silently
scolded herself for being so stupid.

* * * * *

"You can come out now, Rachel's not here," Monica said, coming into her
bedroom to see Chandler in his boxers and a black T-shirt; much more than
he'd been wearing moments before. "I have no idea where she's at though."

"If she's not here can you take the time to get me something for this damn
headache?" Chandler asked.

Monica nodded and left the room once again.

Chandler followed her out this time, pulling on his jeans at the same time
and watching, openly checking her out, as she poured two glasses of water
and went to the bathroom for the painkillers.

"Here," Monica said awkwardly, not looking at him while she handed him the
water and pills.

Chandler downed them quickly and set his glass in the sink. "Uh, I guess I'll
see ya," he said after a moment where neither looked at the other.

"Yeah," Monica said. "We can talk about this later."

Chandler turned and made a face as he left the apartment. He didn't want to
'talk about it', he just wanted it to happen again. When Monica was sober.

He slammed the door shut to his apartment in frustration and paused, making
a different face as he heard pleasure-filled moans coming from Joey's door.

"Joey! Joey! Oh, God, you're good . . ."

Chandler's eyes widened and he ran out of the apartment again and into
Monica's. He leaned back against the door, looking shocked and shaken up.

Monica came out of the bathroom to see what was going on. "Oh, my God, what's
wrong, Chandler?"

"Phoebe and Joey are doing it right now!" Chandler shouted.

Monica looked shocked, then her face went to disbelieving. "Phoebe wouldn't
sleep with him."

"It was her voice! I heard her voice and--" Chandler's voice changed to a
higher note "--she was obviously in the middle of something. And being as
she shouted out Joey's name and it was from Joey's bedroom I'm guessing that
it was Joey making her scream those things!"

The door opened then and Rachel came in, looking terribly upset and overly
nervous. "Oh, hey!" she said, looking surprised that they were there.

"Phoebe and Joey are having sex right now!" Monica blurted out.

Rachel looked distracted and confused. "Really?"

"According to Chandler," Monica answered. "God, what was in that liquor? Why
is everyone sleeping with each other?"

"Wh-what do you mean?" Rachel asked nervously, wondering if Monica somehow
knew she'd spent the night with her brother.

"Nothing," Monica said quickly, realizing her mistake.

"Good, good," Rachel said just as quickly.

"Where were you last night?" Monica asked Rachel.

"Nowhere!" Rachel lied. "Wh-what about you?"

"Nowhere as well," Monica lied.

"Me too," Chandler added.

"Yup. So, um, I guess everyone was nowhere last night," Monica ammended,
clapping her hands together as if to finalize her statement.

"Uh-huh," Chandler and Rachel said at the same time.

* * * * *

That evening Monica was cooking breakfast when Chandler came in with his
work clothes on. "Hey, Mon," he greeted.

Monica squinted at him, wondering what he was doing. The awkward air in his
voice from that morning was gone and replaced with a usual, casual voice. Was
he over the awkwardness already? She sure as hell wasn't.

"Hey," she said just as cheerfully. If he was going to be casual, then she
could be casual too. "Are Joey and Phoebe still at it?"

"Yeah." Chandler grimaced. "I went in there a second ago to change my clothes
but the groaning was too much to bare. Dear God, is that man a machine?"

"From what Phoebe sounded like when I went in there earlier I'm starting to
regret not being the one finding out if he's a machine."

"What do you mean?" Chandler demanded.

Monica blushed and went to the recipe book to read the next directions,
deciding it was an efficent way to avoid Chandler's gaze. "Just that, um,
the other day I offered Joey some lemonade and he took it the wrong way and,
well, he . . . stripped."

"What did you do?" Chandler asked, trying hard to hide his jealousy. It was a
pointless effort though.

Monica looked up at Chandler in confusion. "Are you jealous?"

"No," Chandler squeaked. He cleared his throat. "Just concerned. What did you
do?"

"I yelled at him and made him put his clothes back on," Monica said
truthfully. She couldn't help the huge, sappy smile that came over her face.
"You're jealous! That is so cute."

"Cute?" Chandler questioned. "It's not cute. And I'm not jealous. Last night
was just some one night stand . . . I'd have to feel something for you to be
jealous."

Monica should have been hurt, but she didn't believe him for a second. "If
you're not jealous then you certainly won't mind that I have a date for
tonight."

Chandler's eyes widened, but he quickly brought them back to normal size.
"You don't have a date for tonight."

Monica bit her lip as she lied through her teeth: "As a matter of fact I do."

"With who?"

"Monica!" Rachel called as she came into the apartment. Monica let out a sigh
and silently thanked Rachel for interrutping her and Chandler's discussion.
"Hey, Rach, what's up?"

Chandler gave Monica a glare, then turned to Rachel and, in one quick motion,
pulled her into a passionate kiss. Rachel's protests were muffled and he
released her just as quickly as he'd grabbed her. Then he sent Monica a look
that said 'top *that*'.

"What the hell was that?" Rachel demanded.

Chandler shrugged.

"Your boyfriend is weird," Rachel informed Monica.

"He's not my boyfriend," Monica snapped. She was mad now. Not mad that
Chandler had kissed Rachel -- she knew that he only did that to make her
jealous -- but mad that she *was* jealous. "Not my type either. I prefer men
with a little more . . . I don't know, normalcy is the word I guess."

Chandler made a face at Monica.

"And maturity," Monica added after a moment's consideration. "Wow, Chandler,
looks like you don't have a chance with me."

"Did I miss something?" Rachel asked looking between the two and sensing that
something was going on.

"Nothing important," Monica assured her. "Chandler, can you leave the
apartment for a second? I need to talk to Rachel and my menstru--"

Chandler left the aparment in a flash with a grossed out look on his face.

"Rach, I need your help -- *fast*!" Monica hissed at Rachel. "I have to find
a guy to go out with tonight. I told Chandler I had a date and he'll know I
lied if I don't have a date."

"Why should you care what Chandler thinks?" Rachel asked. Her eyes widened.
"You're trying to get him, aren't you? You realize that you don't care about
messing up your friendship. Oh, this is *so* great! And, I promise, I will
find you a date for tonight."

"Thanks." Monica hugged Rachel briefly. "You're a lifesaver." She went to
the hall and opened the door. "You can come in now, Chandler."

Chandler came in and gave her a careful look -- as though she might have
something contagious.

"Go get Joey and Phoebe," Monica commanded after the timer to her stove
went off. "Dinner's ready. Rachel, would you call Ross for me? He should be
here by now. His number is speed dial two."

Rachel got a trapped look on her face as she picked up the phone slowly.

Chandler made a disgusted look. "If I ever do go in there to get those love
birds out of their nest I'm not going alone."

"Baby," Monica griped. She grabbed Chandler's arm and pulled him through
the door across the hall and into his apartment. Immediately you could hear
giggling that obviously belonged to Phoebe.

"How the hell did you do that?" Joey asked.

"I'm very bendable," Phoebe's giggling voice answered.

Monica made a disgusted face, but, trying to prove she was braver than
Chandler, she went and knocked on the door. "Pheebs, Joey, dinner's ready."

"Wow," Joey said. "Monica got us dinner? I love food."

"Monica!" Phoebe squealed. She came out a second later with a sheet wrapped
around her. "Oh, you will not *believe* what you missed the other day. You
should have taken Joey up on his offer because, dear God, is he worth it!"

"Too much information," Chandler warned, putting a hand to his head as if he
had a headache.

"Oh, you just wish you had a thing this big." Phoebe put her hands to show
a length very above average.

"He does," Monica defended Chandler before thinking.

"What?" Phoebe asked. "You've seen his thing." She gasped. "Oh, my God, you
two slept together!"

"No, we didn't!" Chandler said quickly.

"Do not underestimate my physcic abilities," Phoebe said firmly. She let out
a little giggle and Joey decided to come out at that moment, fully clothed.

"What's up?" he asked and did a little stretch. He put an arm around Phoebe's
shoulder.

"What's Ross going to say?" Phoebe asked.

Chandler's face paled. "Oh, my God. I didn't think about that."

"Well that's not a surprise seeing as we were drunk," Monica snapped. "And
I'm not done being mad at you."

"And I'm not jealous either," Chandler snapped back, sounding like a little
kid.

* * * * *

When the four finally returned to Monica and Rachel's apartment, Ross was
over and Rachel and him were sitting as far apart on the couch as possible.

Rachel jumped up and pulled Monica aside. "Be ready in half an hour for a
guy named Chris to pick you up."

Monica smiled happily at her friend. "Oh, you are the best, Rach!" she cried.
She whirled around to face the rest of the room. "Serve yourself, people, I
have a date to get ready for."

Chandler scowled as Monica ran to her room to find an outfit for her first
date with the guy. He really hadn't believed her when she said she'd had a
date, but obviously she had been telling the truth.

Twenty minutes later Monica came out of the bathroom looking very chick in
a black mini skirt and a pink peasant top. Her hair was wavy around her face
and she wore light makeup.

"Does this look good for a night of clubbing?" she asked the group as she
twirled around.

Chandler's scowl turned even more fierce.

"Why are you going out on a date when you and Chandler have a thing going
on?" Phoebe asked. She got a sad look on her face. "Did you two fight
already?"

"Phoebe!" Monica and Chandler both said at the same time. Then, in sequence,
they glanced at Ross.

"What's she talking about?" Ross asked. "What kind of thing do you two have
going on?"

"They slept together," Phoebe said. Before anybody could say anything she
continued: "Although the thing they've had has been going on for a little
over a week now. They both have feelings for each other but they won't admit
it because they're afraid."

There was a pause before Ross said in a low, even tone: "You slept with my
sister?"

"We were drunk!" Chandler said defensively.

"Chandler, you're my best friend! And-and my little sister. My *baby* sister.
What the hell were you--"

"You know, Ross, you don't have much room to talk seeing as you slept with
Rachel last night. Monica's best friend and her older brother," Phoebe
interrupted.

Everybody looked at her in shock. (Except Joey, who could care less as he
chomped down on food at the kitchen table.)

"Oh, please!" Phoebe said. "Isn't it obvious? Rachel and Ross can't look at
each other and there's this tension between them."

"How did she do that?" Rachel asked.

"This is so great," Phoebe said suddenly, sounding very excited. "All of us
have hooked up! Me and Joey. Rachel and Ross. Monica and Chandler. Oooh! We
can go on triple dates! It'll be so much fun!"

At that moment the buzzer rang and Monica turned to the door. "Looks like
that won't be happening because, oh! oh!, I've got a date. And, of course,
Chandler's not jealous. Are you, honey?"

Chandler did one of his strange noises that we all know so well and she
frowned at him. "Just admit you're jealous."

"I'm not!"

"Fine, you had your chance," Monica said before spinning out of the room.

"You slept with my sister?" Ross repeated his earlier question to Chandler.

"Yes and she's a total bitch," Chandler snapped before storming out the door
and into his own apartment.

* * * * *

The next morning Phoebe was sitting on the couch in the guys' apartment,
watching TV and sipping a drink when Chandler came out of his bedroom,
quietly shutting the door behind him.

"Phoebe, you've got to help me!" he said in a panicked voice.

"Sure, what's up?" Phoebe asked and flipped the TV off with the remote.

Chandler glanced back at his bedroom door. "I did something really, *really*
stupid last night."

"You didn't!" Phoebe gasped.

"Oh, yes. I did." Chandler made one of his hand motions. "You've got to help
me, Pheebs!"

"Hey, guys, breakfast's ready," Monica said as she came into the apartment,
looking cheerful.

"Did you make enough for seven people?" Phoebe asked.

Chandler made a noise in his throat to shut her up.

"Fine, fine," Phoebe said.

"Chandler!"

The three in the room froze as Chandler's name was called from his bedroom
by a very female voice. A second later a woman came to the door of Chandler's
apartment, wearing one of his T-shirts and looking annoyed. "Where'd you go?"

Chandler was looking at Monica who's face was filled with hurt; tears welling
up in her eyes. She spun around and raced out of the apartment with a look
that said 'how could you?'. Phoebe ran after her and Chandler just stood
frozen, staring after the two girls with guilt and regret.