The Weirdest Geography Teacher In The World (part 6)

1. "Well, it looks like lightning if you're a geography teacher."

2. "Well, you and Mr Wigham. [suggestively] You know!"

3. "Its my annoyed pen. I chew it. But I've had a good day today, so there's no gozz on it."

4. A girl in my class always says "awww!" He always mocks her. "Awww!"

5. Kid: Will you sign my book. And don't mention Mr Wigham!
sir: Ah ha!

6. [he had a tie with a little compass in it.] “It works as well.”

7. “Its my Geography tie.”

8. “Naughty? No. Newley? Yes.”

9. “If you were a country, trying to better yourself, you know, better grades and exams and stuff.”

10. “Now I wish I had a different map.”

11. “I like the idea of going to North East Asia, it looks fun down there.”

12. “Its like you were sitting there, next to someone with a big plate of chips, and you’re there with your little donna kebab.”

13. “The countries next to Japan peek over the fence.”

14. “He launched into a five minute long lecture about donna kebabs, special sauce and how they’re like industry.”

15. “I’m sorry, I just don’t like kebabs.”

16. “Its probably an irrational fear of kebabs. I had a crunchy one a while back.”

17. “Its like pork scratchings are okay until you get that little hairy bit.”

18. He drew a very bad drawing of boat to represent a shipyard (the word).

19. “It looks like a little man in a boat with an umbrella.”

20. “Its quite awful really. I never was good at art.”

21. “We’re a country very good at secondary industry because that’s what people say about us.”

22. “Think about Leonardo Di Caprio. Calm down girls.”

23. Kid: Bad hair.
Sir: I’m not saying anything.
The kid was talking had INCREADIBLY bad hair.

24. “Ralf asked me the other day if his hair looked okay. I mean, look at mine, its not like I’m a hair expert or anything.”

25. “Young hip and groovy people. Like you people. Ahem.”

26. “Hell, it must be good. Prince William did it.”

27. Sir: Think about the film ‘The Beach
Kid: Do we have to?
sir: Yeah. Sorry.

28. "They want horrible places to stay so they can go home and say 'I roughed it in Asia!'".

29. "You have the dream, you're sitting in a comfy chair that doesn't squeak. That's my dream. A comfy chair that doesn't squeak. I'm going to steal Mr Whittle's [another geography teacher] chair next week."

30. Kid: Why are you going to steal Mr Whittle's chair?
Sir: Because I'm evil.
Kid: Won't he notice?
Sir: Shut up.

31. "Spotty oiky tourists."

32. "They want their little holiday village down the road that looks like Blackpool so they don't have to walk too far."

33. "And if they're American, they're usually quite large and have big hats."

34. "books have feelings too!"

35. [he found a pen inside a textbook.] "Ooh! [to a kid who never has a pen.] You can have it." [the kid thanked him.] "I know!"

36. "[sad] you're so violent! Banging them aorund like that!"

37. "I feel like a celebrity."

38. "Its a post office queue." At a bar.

39. [writing in my friends year book type thing.] Good luck you cheaky little scamp.

40. Sir: You still have to buy me a new mug. A South Park one will do.
Kid: You mean you want a South Park one?
Sir: No, leave it in the box, my brother's birthday's coming up.

Okay, that may be the last lot of quotes, depending on whether we have one or two more lessons with this lunatic. But if I only get a few, I may post them anyway!