Chapter 5


Annie had given up hope of keeping track of time. She just ate when she was hungry (the doctors were always telling her she didn't eat enough) and slept when she was tired (she was tired a lot). Time was somehow irrelevant in hospital. Even at night, people were bustling about and the lights in the corridor were never turned off.

But Annie's exhausted sleep didn't last long. Before she knew it, she was dreaming again.

This time, she didn't dream of the man and woman in the bedroom. She did dream of the man though. He was standing, no, looming over her where she lay in the hospital. Over his shoulder, she could see the same tiles as were above her as she slept.

"Bitch! Lying, cheating slag! Cock sucking whore!" he was shouting at her. His face was so close to hers that she could see a tiny cut where he had cut himself shaving, and that his lips were slightly chapped and dry. Annie hated being this close to this apparatly dangerous man, even if it was only in a dream.

It occurred to Annie that her other dreams had been silent. She wondered if the fact that she could hear him in this one was significant. Before she had time to think about it, the man had started on a fresh torrent of abuse.

"Fucking slapper! Bloody bitch! Whore! Whore! Whore!" he was practically screaming in her face, so worked up that spittle flew from his lips, which Annie thought was increadibly disgusting.

Annie was crying in the dream, and when she woke up she realized she really had been crying because her pillow was damp. She woke up so suddenly she almost fell off the narrow bed. She resisted the immediate urge to scream, and instead she rolled over onto her stomach, burried her face in her pillow, sobbing as quietly as she could.

She was still lying like that when Matt came back. He had been to the cafateria to try and clear his head, and he had come back to tell Annie that he wanted to keep on coming to visit her, but he couldn't if things were goignt o be awkward between them.

But his private resolve not to touch her melted when he saw how upset she was. He rushed to her side and put his hands on her shoulders. He gently turned her over and pulled her up.

"Annie, honey, whats wrong?" he asked. Annie didn't answer, she just threw herself into his arms and cried even harder. Matt was slightly surprised until he realised that she didn't care about what had happened before, she was just really upset and needed comforting. "Shh, its okay darling. Its okay, I'm here," he reassured her softly.

"I had another dream," Annie said, her voice muffled by Matt's shoulder. She wiped her eyes, but it was a pretty useless thing to do, because fresh tears instantly fell to replace the ones she had wiped away.

"The same one?" Matt asked, stroking her hair soothingly.

"No. it was even worse, I think. The woman wasn't there this time. But the man was. I heard him too. He was shouting at me. Calling me awful names. And screaming that I was a whore," Annie said hesitantly

Matt pushed her a few inches away from him. She looked hurt, her eyes silently asking him what she'd done wrong. Instead of telling her, Matt kissed her tears away, light butterfly kisses all over her face.

Soothed by Matt's kisses, Annie stopped crying. She even managed a little smile. Matt returned it to show he could tell she was making an effort and was pleased with her. He gave her one last kiss, a quick peck on the tip of her nose.

Annie thought she remembered another man kissing the tip of her nose like that, an older man. He seemed very big, although she supposed it might be her who was smaller. But she didn't know who the man was.

"Better?" Matt asked. Annie nodded.

"Much," she assured him.

"Good. Annie, I'm sorry if kissing you was the wrong thing to do. But I couldn't help it. It was the only thing I could think of to comfort you," Matt said.

"Its okay Matt, really," Annie reassured him.

"Sure?" he asked, just to make certain.

"Sure. Now shut up and quit worrying about it. Its not a big deal. You're my friend right?" Matt nodded empahtically. "Well, you were just comforting me, as a friend. Right?" Annie osunded hopefull, as though she wanted Matt to agree with her and make it alright so she could stop worrying about it.

"Right," Matt agreed. He tried to smile but it wavered slightly. Annie saw this and hugged him.

"Right," she said, relieved.

"Right," Matt repeated.

"You already said that," Annie reminded him. They laughed nervously. Matt half wished he had never kissed her at all, and half wished he ahdn't apologised for it. The last thing Annie needed now was to feel uncomfortable with the one person she seemed to feel close to.

"So I did," he said awkwardly.

"Shut up," Annie commanded, laughing.

"Sorry," Matt said for the millionth time that day.

"Matt, if you say 'sorry' one more time, I'm going to kiss you just so you'll shut up!" Annie joked.

"Sorry," Matt said with a grin. He wanted to see what she would do. If she kissed him on the cheek, as a friend, or refused because she was embarrased because of the last time they had kissed, or kissed him like they had last time.

There was an uncomfortable pause.

"Well?" Matt teased. Annie leaned forward and kissed him quickly. She pulled away as soon as her lips touched his.

"There," she said, blushing with embarrasment.

"No," Matt disagreed quietly. He reached for her and kissed her deeply on the mouth. He felt no resistance from Annie, so he risked sliding a hand along her thigh. She didn't even flinch, so Matt gently stroked her breast with his other hand. Annie still didn't object.

Matt realised that he could do anything and she wouldn't tell him no. that idea scared him. Why? Why wouldn't she stop him? It couldn't be love, she didn't remember knowing him for more than a few days, so she couldn't love him. Fear? No, he hadn't done anything to make her afraid of him. He had promised himself a long time ago that he would never hurt her. Maybe she wanted to know what sex felt like, after all, she couldn't remember, could she? But the Annie he had known wouldn't have cared. Or she would, but she wouldn't have done this, she would have talked to him, let him try to help her.

Slowly, Matt withdrew both his hands, but he didn't stop kissing her. Annie didn't try to pull his hands back onto her body, so he figured she hadn't been all that keen in the first place, despite not preveting him touching her.

Annie loved Matt's kiss, and she felt a tingly kind of excitement when his hands touched her, but she was still kind of relieved when he stopped, probably because this was all new to her. When Matt finally stopped kissing her, Annie half wished he wouldn't.

"Sorry," Matt whispered.

"I'm really tired," Annie said evasively. She didn't want to talk about what had just happened, and she expected Matt would want to.

"I'll leave you to sleep then,"Matt said. He almost kissed her again, but decided she really did look tired and so he resisted the impulse.

Annie had to bit her lip to stop herself asking him top stay. She knew they needed time apart, but she was afraid once he stepped out of that door, he wouldn't come back. "'Kay," was all she said as Matt stood up to leave.

"I'll be back in a few hours, or Dave will," Matt said. Annie nodded at the information. "Bye," he said when he realised she wasn't going to ask him not to leave.

"Bye," Annie said, then closed her mouth quickly, as if to stop herself saying something she shouldn't. Matt left, shutting the door quietly behind him. As soon as he was gone, Annie burst into tears.

On the other side of the door, Matt heard her and almost opened the door and went back to try and comfort her, before he realised that it was because of his earlier attempts to comfort her that Annie was crying now. She wouldn't appriciate him going back in there to do the exact same thing he had done before, because Matt knew that was exactly what he would do, given half a chance.

So instead of going in and doing something stupid, he went away and did something even more stupid; he went to find Dave. Matt felt like he wanted to take all his anger and frusration out on Dave's head. Then he could go back to Annie and be sympathetic and understanding, like she needed him to be. And not try to make love to her on a hospital bed. So perhaps it wasn't such a stupid thing to do after all.