Forgotten Hope

Chapter 1

Where am I? That was her first thought that went through her head when she woke up. Why am I here? Followed soon after. Then who am I? She had no way of knowing the answers to any of these simple questions.

She looked around her. She was lying on a hard, narrow bed in the middle of a largish room. It was pretty bare, containing a locker, a curtained off corner with a sink and a mirror, and two hard red plastic chairs that looked increadibly uncomfortable. One of these chairs contained a man.

He was sprawled out, his legs stretched in front of him, his arms folded across his chest. He was asleep, thank God she thought, and his light brown hair was ruffled and looked like he hadn’t combed it for weeks.

She turned away from him because she didn’t want to look at him anymore. There were dark violet shadows under his eyes and his cheeks were pale. She was relieved she couldn’t see his eyes, although she wasn’t exactly sure why. She couldn’t recognise him. She had no idea what he was supposed to be to her, brother, father, boyfriend, husband, friend, stranger, what?

She cleared her throat, wanting to speak, wanting to ask the stranger beside her what he was doing there and who he was, but at the same time, she didn’t want to wake him up in case he tried to hurt her or something.

But the small sound that little cough made was loud enough to wake him up. She jumped as he groaned, stretched and finally opened his eyes, unsure what had woken him. Then he saw her, staring at him in wide eyed terror. The fact that she was afraid should have troubled him, but right then, it didn’t, although it might well trouble him later.

"Annie, honey, you’re awake!" he exclaimed with a huge grin. He lept to his feet and leaned over her. He bent his head down to her and she felt his lips gently brush her cheek. But she still had absolutely no idea who he was.

"Where am I?" she tried to ask, but her voice was so faint and so hoarse that even she could hardly hear it.

"Shh, don’t try and talk just yet. Dave would kill me, litterally, if he knew you were awake and I hadn’t called him," the man said. Annie wanted to laugh when she looked at him; his eyes were all lit up, and even the shadows under his eyes seemed fainter than they had just a couple of seconds ago. She wondered if it was really her who had cheered him up and made him smile like that.

"Who, who’s Dave?" she asked nervously. Would he be mad that she couldn’t remember? He didn’t seem mad, she thought, when she studied his face, just shocked and a little sad.

"Dave’s your husband Annie. Don’t you remember?" he asked in a small, quiet voice. Annie bit her lip and shook her head. She stared at her hands, her fingers playing with the bed sheets.

"Oh," she said quietly.

"Annie, sweetie, do you remember why you’re here?" the man asked. He scared her a little, even though his voice was gentle and his face was kind.

"I’m sorry," Annie said, her voice breaking up. Tears trickled down her cheeks. He instantly looked sorry. He hugged her tight, but pulled away when he squashed her broken ribs.

"Sorry," he said, "Annie, I didn’t mean to make you feel guilty. I’m just surprised I guess, that you don’t remember."

"Sorry," Annie said again. The man placed his index finger on her lips to silence her. He wiped her tears away with the ball of his thumb.

"Don’t be," he said "listen, I gotta go call some people, Dave, your parents, Caroline… oops, sorry hon, I forgot you can’t remember them," he said, cutting himself off. He kissed her cheek,then got up to leave.

"Wait!" Annie called him back. He stopped in the doorway and turned around. "Please, would you tell me who you are? I’m sorry, but I have absolutely no idea," Annie said shyly. He smiled at her.

"Matt," he said smiling.

"Matt," Annie echoed. She also echoed his smile without even realising it.

"Bye," Matt said with a little wave. then he quietly shut the door and was gone, leaving her alone to worry about what she was going to say to all these people who she had no recollection of whatsoever, but who would expect her to remember them.

Annie wished she’s asked Matt to stay, but then thought she couldn’t bear the feeling of being constantly under a microscope that he gave her, even just in the short time they’d been together.

When Matt returned, he was with a woman. She looked about thirty, as did Matt. the woman had wavy black, shoulder length hair which was held back from her face with two silver hair clips, the sort you can buy six for a dollar at the Rite Aid. She was slim, and wearing figure hugging black trousers and an elbow length wine coloured top. She looked friendly but a little nervous. Annie figured Matt must have told the woman about her amnesia.

"Hey Annie," the woman said with a small smile.

"Hi," Annie whispered, not taking her eyes off the bed covers.

"Annie, this is Caroline," Matt said, but he didn’t offer any more information about Caroline, as though he was hoping Annie would remember on her own. "I went downstairs to call your Mom, and who should I bump into at the gift shop? Caroline," Matt said brightly.

"Silly, you haven’t told her what you were doing in the gift shop yet," Caroline said. her voice had the faintest trace of a southern accent.

"I was just coming to that," Matt said. He popped out of the room and came back a second later carrying a massive bouquet of flowers. Annie gasped in amazement. Caroline smiled and Matt laughed. In some weird way, his laughter sounded as if he hadn’t laughed in a long time.

"What’s funny?" Annie demanded, which made Caroline laugh too.

"nothing," Matt and Caroline said together.

"Seriously," Matt added. He had stopped laughing as soon as he saw that the hurt look on Annie’s face was genuine. "Annie sweetie, its nothing, right Caz?" Caroline nodded. Annie forced a slight smile. Matt saw the effort it cost her and smiled a secret little smile. "atta girl," he whispered so low Caroline couldn’t hear it.

"Your Mom’s coming down later," Caroline said, changing the subject before Annie could get anymore hurt. She had picked the wrong subject to change to, as she soon realised when she saw the mixture of fear, confusion and guilt on Annie’s face.

"she’s nice," Matt said, as if he was talking about a complete stranger, which he was, in a way. "you’ll like her," he added.

"I don’t want to see her," Annie said quickly. She was blinking very fast to try and stop the tears.

"Annie, don’t you think you should?" Caroline gasped. She looked appauled that annie would refuse to see her own mother.

"no! I don’t!" Annie shouted. She saw the reproach in Caroline’s face, and gave up her self control. She let the tears fall and practically screamed at poor Caroline, making her cry too. "I don’t want to see her! I can’t remember her! I can’t remember anyone! Not you, or him, or that Dave guy you claim is my husband! How do I know if what you tell me is the truth?I have no way of knowing! And so right now, I think its best if I don’t have to face everyone, okay?" Annie’s face was flushed with anger and her eyes were gleaming. Matt looked shocked. Caroline looked scared. scared of Annie. "okay?" Annie shouted even louder when Caroline didn’t answer.

"okay," Caroline said in a voice that was barely more than a whisper.

"Good!" Annie yelled. She closed her eyes and lay back on her pillow, worn out by her outburst. Her face drained of colour and she suddenly looked very young and defenseless.

"I think we should go," Matt said softly. Annie didn’t respond. "I’ll wait for your Mom and tell her you’re not up to any more visitors right now," Matt offered. Annie still didn’t answer. Matt sighed sadly. He motioned for Caroline to leave.

"Bye Annie," Caroline sadi as she hurried out of the room. She seemed glad to be leaving.

"Listen honey, I know its hard for you, all of this, but please don’t take it out on Caz, she’s not up to it right now," Matt said, leaning close to Annie and speaking firmly but gently.

"Why?" Annie asked quietly without opening her eyes.

"her and Chris are having a few problems right now. She’s stressed enough without you having a go at her every time she visits you. And I’m telling you this as a friend Annie, whether you realise that or not. But if you keep on yelling at people who just want to help you, like you just yelled at Caroline, then you’re gonna lose yourself a lot of people who were once your friends and could be again," Matt said. He was speaking plainly and honestly, but without any anger or malice, and for that, Annie was gratefull.

"I’ll leave you alone now Annie. Try to rest, the doctor said you should, but I’d like you to think about some of that stuff too, okay?" Matt said, taking Annie’s left hand in both of his.

"’Kay," Annie promised, but it was a promise she had no intention of keeping. Matt seemed to realise this and he sighed.

"please Annie," he pleaded. He kissed her lightly on the cheek, stroking her hand, then went to the doorway. Annie opened her eyes to watch him go. He paused at the doorway. Annie opened her eyes to watch him go. He paused at the door and, grinning, blew her a kiss. Annie smiled and raised her hand to pretend to catch it. Matt smiled, waved, then he was gone.