Broken Hearts (part 7)

Over the next three months, things between Chandler and Monica stabalised. He stopped talking to her about important things, preparing himself to let her go. Monica's pregnancy progressed well, but when she tried to talk to CHandler about the baby, he woudl always find something else to do, or another topic of conversation. He didn't go with Moncia to the doctors, but she left the pictures he gave her on the kitchen table, or the dresser in their bedroom and Chandler always found them, and spent long minutes staring at them. Monica had worked out that Chandler was preparing himself to lose her and the baby and it saddened her because she knew the baby was Chandler's. She knew she couldnt' force him into loving her as much as he used to, and she wouldn't dream of trying. But she didn't want the baby to suffer because of it, which was why she left pictures from her ultrasound lying around for him to find.

The only thing that hadn't changed was the way they acted around their friends. Chandler kidded himself that he was only so loving and protective of Monica and the baby when the others where there because he didn't want them to suspect anything. But he knew he took every oppertunity when they were there to kiss Monica, or put his arm around her, or stroke her stomach. He denied himself these things when he and Monica were alone, but under the pretense of pretending he found the little pleasures which had once filled his life.

They still slept in the same bed, althogh they never touched, and rarely spoke. Chandler would pretedn to fall asleep straight away, but the truth was that Monic was restless near the end of her pregnancy, which kept him awake as well. As she moved around, trying to get comfortable, he wished he could hold her, knowing she would settle with his arms around her.

It was one night in May, when Monica was nine months pregnant that she broke the invisible barriers between them. She leaned over and touched his shoulder. Her touch was light and unsure, not wanting him to react badly.

"Chandler," she whispered. He was awake, but didn't want her to know he spent many sleepless nights waiting for her to fall asleep, so he just mumbled something incomprehensible. "Chandler," she said a little more forcefully.

"What?" he asked.

"Chandler, I think its the baby," she said. Those were the magic words. He jumped up, but got tangled up in the covers.

"Oh my God!" he said, struggling to get free. He ran around to her side of the bed and gently pulled the covers away form her and helped her out of bed. "Oh God!" he said.

"Its okay. I'm okay. Its gonna be okay," moncia muttered, not sure whether she was talking to Chandler or to herself.

Chandler grabbed a pair of pants and pulled them on, not caring whether they were clean or dirty. He ran down to the street and tried desperately to find a taxi. When he finally managed to get one, he told him to wait while he got his pregnant girlfriend. The cab driver huffed and puffed, but agreed to wait.

"Chandler, my water just broke," monica greeted him when he went upstairs to fetch her.

"Breaking isn't good," he said worriedly.

"Its fine," she assured him.

"There a taxi downstairs. Are you ready to go to the hospital?" he asked. SHe nodded and clutched her stomach. "What's wrong?" he asked, panicking

"First contraction," she explained. Chandler grabbed her hand and took her bag off her, hurrying her down to the taxi.

At the hospital, Chandler acted like any other expectant husband would. He stayed with Monica the whole time, not even wanting to leave her long enough to call Ross and the others. He held her hand for the entie ten hour labour, telling her she was doing great, and he was so proud of her.

It was early afternoon when Chandler heard the cry of the baby boy, and Chandler and Monica both joined the child in crying. Monica was handed a tiny, red, screaming baby, wrapped in blue blanket, that to his proud parents was perfection personified.

In that instant Chandler forgot all the pain of the last few months. All he knew was that his beautiful girlfriend had just given him a wonderful son. He kissed them both. "I love you," he whispered, so low only Monica (and the baby, if he was listening) could hear him. Monica smiled. She had waited so long to hear those words spoken by Chandler and not followed by him saying that he didn't want to love her. They were just so simple and wonderful to hear him say.

"I love you too," she told him. He smiled and stroked her hair away from her flushed face.

Not until later, when both Monica and the baby had been checked over by the doctor and had been transferred to a ward, did Chandler remember that the others still didn't know two of their friends were parents.

"I'm gonna go call Ross," Chandler said softly.

"'kay," Monica murmered, not taking her eyes of the baby. Chandler kissed them both on the cheek before he left. The baby's eyelashes fluttered down onto his warm pink cheek and he yawned, showing a tiny toothlessmouth. Chandler smiled affectionately at the little boy, and at Moncia, who barely noticed him, she was so enthralled by her baby.

"Hello," ross said when he picked up the phone.

"Ross, its Chandler."

"Hi, what's up?"

"I have a son!" he said happily. Ross screached.

"Oh my God! i'm an uncle!"

"I'm a father!"

"Woo hoo!" the shouted together

"Okay, I gotta get back to Mon, and our son," Chandler said proudly. "Can you call the others?"

"Sure."

"Thanks man."

"No problem. Bye."

Chandler hung up beaming. he was so happy that he forgot all about Mark, and the chance that the baby he was so excited about wasn't his after all. He couldnt' imagine the perfect little boy in Monica's arms belonging to anyone other than him and Monica.

When he returned to see Monica, both of them were asleep. Chandler kissed her softly and took the baby out of her arms. Chandler watched the child sleep and rocked him gently. There was soft, fine dark hair on the baby's head, which reminded him of the photos Ross had showed him of Monica as a baby.

Chandler gently laid him in the plastic cot and sat by Monica. He watched her sleeping, as he had done so many times before. her hair was messy, her cheeks lightly flushed, she wore no make up, and yet she was smiling and she was beautiful.

When she woke up, Moncia was surprised that Chandler was still there. The baby was awake now, and in Chandler's arms. He was crying, and although Chandler was trying to calm him down, the sound had woken her. She understood that Chandler had wanted to be there during the birth, but she didn't know why he was still with her now it was over. But when she noticed the way he was looking at the baby, she understood.

"Hi," she said sleepily.

"Hi, how are you feeling?" Chandler asked, sounding genuinely concerned about her.

"Tired, sore. But happy," she said, smiling.

"I think he's hungry. The nurse gave me some formular that i could give him, but I thought you'd want to feed him yourself. I was gonna give it him soon, if you didn't wake up. He's only just started crying," Chandler said quickly. As he said the bit about Monica wanting to feed him herself, he realised that they'd never actually talked about whether or not she would breastfeed, and hoped he hadn't said the wrong thing. Monica smiled. Even though they had never talked about it, he knew her, and he knew she would want to breastfeed her son.

"Yeah," she said. Chandler smiled and handed him over.

"Do you know what to do?" he asked, not doubting monica's ability to care for her child, just knowing she'd never done this before.

"They showed us at Lamaze class," she said. Chandler winced, wishing he hadn't missed the classes. Monica picked up the baby, unfastened the front of her hospital gown and carefully positioned him. Chandler grinned as the baby began to suck.

"Does it hurt?" he asked worriedly, making a face that looked as though he was imagining how he would hate having a baby sucking on his nipples.

"not really. It just feels weird," she said, still smiling. Not just because holding and feeding her baby was an amazing feeling, but because although she knew she and Chandler still had a long way to go, she thought the worst was over now.

"So what are we gonna name this little guy?" Chandler asked when the baby was done feeding and was back in Chandler's arms again.

"I haven't really thought about it," monica said.

"I don't believe you," Chandler grinned. "You've been thinking about it for almost thirty years."

"Well, I thought you'd want to help think of a name. He is your son after all," she ventured. Chandler had forgotten until then that there had ever been any doubt.

"Yeah. Mon? You are sure he's mine, right?" Chandler asked. Moncia nodded firmly.

"Yes. CHandler. You have to believe me," she said, suddenly scared of losing him again.

"Okay. I do."

"Really?"

"Really."

They grinned at each other for a few seconds. "So, what's his name gonna be?"

"I don't care Mon. I mean, i do care, but I mean, I'm sure whatever you pick will be fine," Chandler said. "Just please not Mark. And I'm not wild about Richard either."

"I'm glad to hear it! I don't want to think about you and Richard in that way!" Monica joked, relieved to have the asy friendship back.

"Shut up! I meant the name Richard, and you know it!"

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Seriously, its up to you," Chandler said.

"Okay, well how about Chandler Jr?"

"Anything except Mark, Richard or Chandler Jr," was Chandler's answer.

"Well, what's your Dad called? Maybe we could do something with that?" Monica suggested.

"Julia?" Chandler said unentusiastically.

"Or maybe not."

"I don't mean to be rude, but Jack Bing doesn't sound so good," CHandler said. Monica was just happy to hear Chandler give the baby his surname.

"Yeah. how about Joey Ross or Ross joey?"

"It would cause too many arguments over who's name was first. Look, why does he have to be named after someone we know, anyway? There are loads of other names in the world."

"Yeah, you're right. Um, Daniel?" she suggested.

"I was just about to say the same thing," Chandler laughed. Monica squealed, making Chandler laugh again.

"So Daniel it is then. I like it," Chandler confirmed.

"What about a middle name?" Monica asked. "In case he hates his first name."

"Alexander," Chandler suggested. "The only guy in my high school who didn't come on to me." Monica laughed, knowing he was only joking.

"Daniel Alexander Bing. I love it. And him. And you," Monica said. Chandler looked at Daniel, who had falled asleep again, a milk moustash on his upper lip. Chandler wiped Daniel's mouth, and smelt the warm, sweet smell of baby.

"Hello Daniel Alexander Bing," he whispered.

TO BE CONTINUED...

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