Coming Home (part 7)

When Chandler opened his eyes and felt a woman's hand on his chest he knew instantly that it was Monica's hand, but at first he thought he was dreaming. monica couldn't be in bed with him, she was married to Richard. But it wasn't a ream. He could feel the weight of her body pressed close against his. The touch of her hand was light and gentle, but very real. Her dark hair ticled the soft skin of his neck. If he tilted his head slightly, he culd smell the familiar floral smell of her shampoo. He kissed the top of her head.

"Morning," she said sleepily.

"Hey," he replied.

"You want breakfast?"

"No. I just want to stay here forever and ever," chandler said, putting his arm around her.

"Well, the kids are gonne want breakfast pretty soon," Monica said, slipping out of Chandler's arms before he fully realised what she was doing.

"I meant I wanted to stay here with you," he complained as she put on a robe. For the first time, Chandler realised she was wearing his old Knicks shirt, she had put it on before they fell asleep. He hadn't taken anything when he went to Ottawa, but he hadn't expected Monica to keep anything of his.

"Well, maybe another time," she said distractedly.

"Oh God, why did I have to fall in love with a morning person with two kids?" Chandler asked, swinging his feet off the bed. He was wearing just hsi boxers, but Monica hardly noticed.

The kids were still asleep when Monica went in to check on them, so she joined Chandler where he was slumped on the couch. They made out on the couch, like a couple of teenagers, until Monica heard Amy babbling away, probably talking to her teddy bears. She gently pushed CHandler away and went to get them up and dressed.

Chandler realised Monica hadn't had chance to get breakfast ready, and since that was his fault, he decided to do so, and rumaged around for plates, spoons, cereal, milk and orange juice, put the kettle on to boil and dropped bread into the toaster. Monica was pleasantly surprised when she came out, holding the hands of both her daughters. Chandler wondered if becky would act weird because of what she had seen last night, but it didn't seem like she had given it a second thought.

"Thank you," Monica mouthes as she poured milk onto Amy's cornflakes at the same time as trying to make sure Becky didn't spill her orange juice.

"No problem," Chandler mouthed back. Monica took her eyes off the kids for a second to look at Chandler and smile gratefully. In that second, both she and Becky spilled.

"Becky, I thought I told you to be careful," monica said. She started to reach for a cloth. Chandler handed one to her.

"You spilled too," Becky pointed out.

"Yeah, well Mommy should be careful too," Monica said, wiping up the mess.

"Mommy, is Chandler gonna live with us now?" Becky asked halfway through breakfast. Monica looked up, startled.

"I don't know honey. I haven't really thought about it," she said, glancing at CHandler, who was trying to stay neutral.

"Do you love Chandler?" Amy asked mildly.

"Of course I do," Monica said, making his heart soar and his face break open into a grin. "He's one of my best friends," she added, smiling and watching chandler for a reaction. He tried not to give her one, but his smile suddenly appeared much more forced.

Chandler went with Monica to take the kids to day care. On the way back he asked her why she took them to day care when she was home all day.

"Well, i was working before Richard died. And I plan on going back to work in a few weeks, so I didn't see the point in them not going. It'd only make it harder for them when they had to go back again," she explained.

"So Mon, do you love Chandler?" he asked jokingly.

"Of course. He's one of my best friends," she teased, repeating the answer she had given the kids.

"No, seriously," he said. Monica looked at him, and saw that although he had acted like hw was just kidding, he did want a real answer.

"Well, yeah. Its not like I loved you for two years and then automatically stopped loving you when you moved away," she said.

"I know, but I just thought, maybe you stopped loving me, or else why would you have married Richard?" Chandler said. He didn't know what he wanted her to say to that. He wanted her not to have stopped loving him, but if she said she hadn't, he would have to wonder if she had ever stopped loving Richard after they broke up the first time.

"Well, I guess marrying Richard was a mistake. But I never stopped loving you, even when I was married to him. I dont' know, its like even though I loved him, you were always there, at the back of my mind or something," she said slowly.

"So when you and I were together, was Richard always at the back of your mind?" Chandler asked, trying to appear casual.

"No," she said straight away, and Chandler believed her. "Because I never loved Richard even half as much as I loved you." Chandler was silent. He had never loved anyone else as much as her, but then, he had always been the one who was afraid of commitment, not Monica.

"You know what, I should probably go to Ross and Rachel's and face the music," he said after a few minutes.

"About you staying over last night?"

"Yeah. Rachel will be thrilled that we're 'back together'. Ross on the other hand..."

"Will be furious."

"Yeah. I know he's just looking out for you. I just wish that didn't mean hating me."

"Me too. I really dont' want you guys to fall out over me."

"Hey, I wanna be his friend. He just thinks I'm gonne hurt you again."

"I know."

"Mon, I'm not you know," he said quietly.

"Not what?"

"Going to hurt you again."

"I know," she said quickly.

"Do you?" he asked sceptically. She nodded emphatically.

She didn't know though. She knew he would never want to hurt her. He never had. But that didnt' mean he never would. It hadn't been his fault he had gone to Ottawa, and that had hurt them both. How did she know something like that wouldnt' happen again? Could she and Chandler really pick up where they left off, after five years apart? Would they ever have the same intense, loving relationship as before?

After she dropped Chandler off at Ross and Rachel's apartment, Monica went home and cleaned. Since the kids were born, she hadn't bothered as much with the cleaning, but now that Chandler was back, it was as if she wanted everything to be exactly the same way it was five years ago. She knew it was stupid, but knowing that didn't stop her almost believing that they could pretend nothing had changed.

Chandler braced himself as he entered Ross and Rachel's apartment, knowing they would demand to know why he hadn't come home and where he had been as if he was a child. When he walked in, he saw it was worse, Phoebe and Joey were there too. He supposed that since Monica married Richard, Ross and Rachel's apartment had become the new group hangout.

"Hey," he said, acting like nothing was wrong.

"Where the hell were you last night?" Ross demanded before Chandler had even had chance to close the door.

"Playing darts with Jerry Springer?" Phoebe guessed wildly. They all looked at her. "Okay, I guess my grandmother is lying to me," she said strangely.

"You were at Monica's werent' you?" Rachel asked. She didn't sound quite as angry as Ross, but she was still mad. Monica was her best friend after all.

"Yes," Chandler admitted.

"God Chandler! You are so stupid! She doesn't need you! Just leave her alone!" Ross shouted.

"Ross, if she had asked me to leave, I would have left. But she wanted me to stay. Maybe you should listen to your sister, instead of deciding how she feels without even letting her decide for herself," Chandler said, trying to stay calm.

"She's still upset about Richard. And you know Monica, she wouldn't ask you to leave unless you were wrecking her apartment or something," Joey chipped in. chandler felt like they were all ganging up on him.

"You guys, I love her. I never stopped loving her," Chandler said.

"So then why did you leave her and break her heart?" Phoebe asked. Chandler sighed. It was a fair question, but God, how he wished he didn't have to answer it.

"I thought it would be easier on her. I thought she wanted Richard. How was I to know it was all a plan?" he said, knowing how stupid it sounded.

"Because you know Monica. You know how much she loved you," Rachel said.

"I thought I did. And now I know that what I'd always thought before that night was right. SHe did love me most. But would you guys please just think for a moment how much it hurt to have to wonder for five years, what would have happened if I had stayed."

"You could have stayed," Joey said quietly.

"We missed you too chandler," Rachel added.

"Well, I missed you guys. And now that I'm back, I hope we can still all be friends," chandler said hopefully.

"If you ever hurt her again..." Ross threatened.

"I won't. I swear to God, I won't," Chandler promised. Suddenly, Ross hugged him. Chandler was relieved to have his friends back. Having Monica back was amazing, but now he could continue pretending nothing had changed. That woudl have been impossible if Ross still hated his guts.

"Chandler's back!" Joey yelled, hugging Chandler tightly as soon as Ross stepped back.

"Aww, honey, we missed you," Phoebe said.

"Missed ya too Phoebs," he said, kissing her cheek.

"Dont' you go running off to Ottawa again," Rachel said tearfully. Chandler hugged her as well.

"I won't," he promised.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Okay, another part done. Please review.