Coming Home (part 3)

Monica had told the others she didn't mind going back to her apartment, but when she actually got there, she was afraid to go in. She had once said that breaking up with Richard was the hardest thing she had ever had to do. Breaking up with Chandler had been EVEN worse than that. And now Richard was dead, and she felt guilty, because she didn't feel as bad as when she broke up with Chandler. And her husband dying, shoudl be worse than her boyfriend leaving the country. Except she had loved Chandler more than Richard.

Richard had hated Chandler for a long time, but he had eventually realised that Chandler would always be a part of Monica's life, no matter how hard he tried to stop it. Monica did love Richard, she always had, but once she started dating Chandler, it had become a distant memory. When she married Richard, the love she had felt for him five years before had resurfaced, but she had been slightly scared, because she realised she had never loved Richard half as much as she loved Chandler, yet she was married to him. It just seemed wrong, and unfair to everyone, herself, Chandler and Richard.

She sighed and let herself into the apartment. It was exactly how they had left it when they rushed to the hospital in the ambulance. The newspaper Richard had put aside just minutes before his heart attack, the long gone cold breakfast things left scattered around the kitchen, it looked like the past three days hadn't happened. The light on the answermachine was flashing, Monica figured she would have a load of messages from friends and family who she hadn't actually seen, telling her how sorry they were. But once she heard them, she would feel obliged to ring everyone back and thank them for calling, which she didn't feel up to doing. But there was one person she had to call.

"Hi, dad," she said when he answered. She knew he wouldn't mind her calling so late.

"Hi sweetie, how are you?" Jack asked.

"Um, as near okay as I'm gonna be for a while. But hey, I moved back home."

"Good. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, Dad, I'll be fine. Um, are Becky and Amy there?"

"Yeah, your mother put them to bed a few hours ago. You didn't expect them to still be up, did you?"

"No, I guess not. Um, could you ring me in the morning, I want to talk to them."

"They've really missed you Monica. Its bad enough that their dad died, without you cutting them off as well," Jack said gently.

"I know, I know. I know this hasn't been fair on them, but it hasn't been fair on me either," Monica reminded her father.

"I know sweetheart. So when do you want them to go back home? Not that they're any trouble, none at all. But they want to go home."

"I don't know Dad. I don't think tomorrow, but maybe the day after," she said.

"Okay. I'll call you tomorrow so you can talk to them."

"Thanks."

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Getting there. Anyway, I shoudl probably be going to bed, its pretty late."

"Okay honey. Goodnight, sleeptight," Jack said, as he had done when she was a little girl.

"You too Dad."

When she hung up, Monica lay down on the couch. She wasn't sure why she had deliberately kept the conversation with her Dad short, he had been such a rock of support since Richard died. She supposed because the people she really wanted to talk to were her kids, but she didn't know if she could face them just yet. They would need comfort and reassurance, even more than she did herself, and of course, because she was their mother, it would be her responsibility to take care of them, no matter how much she was hurting too.

When she woke up the next morning, Monica was still laying on the couch, she supposed she must have fallen asleep just after she called her Dad. She stretched her arms above her head to relieve the stiffness in them and yawned. The clock on the video said it was 08:16, which was a lie-in for her, since she usually had to be up at six to get the kids up and ready for day care. She reached for the phone as soon as it rang, not thinking that it might be someone else calling to ask her how she was doing.

"Hey," a familiar voice said.

"Hi," she answered, unable to keep herself from smiling.

"So, you up for some escapism therapy this morning?"

"No, I'm waiting for a call."

"This afternoon then?"

"Chandler, I don't know okay?"

"Sure. Sorry," he said, not knowing why she had bitten his head off, he was only trying to help.

"Look, why don't you come round here later? I could use some company?"

"Okay. Lunchtime okay for you? See? I told you nothings changed! Five years in Ottowa, and I still rely on you for food," chandler joked. She had to laugh.

"Sure. Come over about one."

"Thanks. Um, I get the feeling Ross hates the idea of us seeing each other while I'm here. Would it be a good idea not to mention that I'm going to your place today?" Chandler aske hesitantly.

"Probably. You don't mind keeping it a secret?"

"Of course not. I want to see you and I don't want to get beaten up by Ross. Not telling him seems the perfect way to have both. Besides, it'll be like when we first started going out together."

"Without the sex," Monica was quick to add. She might be flirting with him a little, which was a really bad idea, but she couldnt' afford to make him think she really wanted to have sex with him.

"Dammit!"

"Okay, I have to go. Like I said, I'm waiting for another call."

"You were serious about that? i thought you just didn't want to see me," Chandler said, half serious himself.

"Yeah, but I can't resist your boyish charm and goodlooks," Moncia joked back.

"I know, you never could. I'll see you at one," Chandler said.

"Bye," Monica said. The phone had barely been put down for a minute before it rang again.

"Hello?" she said, expecting it to be Chandler calling back to annoy her some more, and half hoping that it was.

"Mommy!" two excited little voices said.

"Hi you two!" Monica exclaimed, delighted to hear them.

"Did you miss us?" four year old Becky demanded.

"Of course I did. Did you miss me?" Monica asked.

"Like hell!" two year old Amy shouted, then burst out laughing.

"Amy, where have you been learning words like that?" Monica asked sternly.

"Grandpa," Amy said innocently.

"Well tell him not to!"

"Aww, why?" Becky asked.

"So how are you guys doing?"

"We're okay," Becky said. "Oh, grandpa said to ask how you are too."

"Tell him I'm fine."

"Grandpa! Mommy says she's fine!" Amy shouted.

"And grandma says to remind you not to stop using night cream," Becky went on. Typical, Monica thought. "Mommy, what's night cream?"

"Something Mommies and grandmas have to use to stay beautiful," Monica explained simply.

"You'd be beautiful without no night cream," Amy said extravagantly. Monica knew that if she had been there, Amy would have thrown her pudgy arms around her neck and demanded to be picked up.

"Thank you darling."

"Mommy, when can we come home?" Becky asked.

"I dont' know honey."

"Grandma makes me eat broccli," Becky complained. Monica was suddenly angry for aking her now fatherless children eat stuff they didn't like, even though she did the same thing normally.

"Well, tell her I said you don't have to," she instructed.

"Yay!"

"Okay, I'll tell you what. You can come home tomorrow, okay? That is, if you want to. I mean, I'm sure grandma and grandpa would love to have you around a little longer, and you'll get to eat even more broccli," she joked.

"We wanna come home," Amy insisted.

"Yeah, we wanna see you," Becky agreed.

"Well, if you're sure. Can you put grandpa on for a minute?"

"Hi sweetie," Jack said. "The kids say they're going home tomorrow?"

"Yeah, can you drop them off around eleven tomorrow morning?"

"Sure. Take care of yourself sweetie."

"I will. Can I say goodbye to them?"

"Of course. Bye honey."

"Bye Dad."

"Bye Mommy! Can't wait till tomorrow!" Becky yelled down the phone.

"Me either! Bye Mommy! Miss you!" Amy chimed in.

"Bye guys. Love you," monica said.

"Love you too Mommy," Becky returned.

"Me three," Amy said, then laughed at her own joke.

"See you tomorrowm," Monica said.

"Bye!" they chorused.

Monica held the phone for a second longer, even after the girls had hung up. If Chandler thought there was a chance of things going back to how they had once been, he obviously thought she and Richard had never had kids, which was understandable really, since he had never been too keen on them. Monica wondered how Chandler would react if he knew she was a mother of two, now widowed mother of two. She sighed. That would have to wait. She wasn't up to telling Chandler yet. She just hoped Ross wouldn't decided to spoil things and tell Chandler about Becky and Amy. Because she knew Chandler would take it much better coming from her.

TO BE CONTNUED...

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