Coming Home (part 10)

Chandler and Becky slowly walked into the room where Amy's body was. Becky had allowed herself to be put down, finally, but still clung to Chandler's hand tightly. As they appraoched the trolley with Amy on, she pressed herself closer to Chandler's leg. Chandler ruffled her hair with his free hand.

"You okay sweetheart?" he asked. She knew, even at four years old, that 'okay' now was nothing compared to 'okay' normally. And he meant was she okay enough to see Amy, which she wanted to do, so she nodded. "If you want to leave, you just tell me okay?" She nodded again.

Amy's tiny body lay on a trolley, which made her look very small and lost. Chandler wanted to touch her, but he didn't dare. Becky was the one to move forward, still holding Chandler's hand, but he only followed as far as he had to. Standing on tip toes, Becky looked at her sister's pale, bruised face. She reached out tentatively, with the hand that wasn't in Chandler's, and touched Amy's shoulder. Chandler watched as Becky moved her hand so she could stroke Amy's face and hair.

"Bye bye Amy," she said softly. She pulled her hand away and pressed against Chandler again.

"You want to go?" he asked her.

"In a little while," she whispered.

Chandler picked up Becky and walked the couple of step to Amy's side. He bent down and kissed her cool cheek. He brushed a few strands of her brown hair away from her face.

"You wanna stay a bit longer?" he asked after a minute or two. Becky shook her head.

"When can I see Mommy?" she asked.

"I don't know. Not for a while."

"how long is that?"

"A few hours at least."

"Oh."

Chandler carried Becky back to the little room where Ross was waiting. He sat down, and Becky slid off his lap to sit next to him, although she still leaned against him. Ross went in to see Amy, leaving Chandler and Becky alone when Joey and Phoebe arrived.

"Oh my God! What's happened?" Phoebe asked.

"We got here as fast as we could, but Phoebe's grandmother's cab broke down, and we had to get a real cab," joey said.

"Hey, its a real cab!" Phoebe said.

"Guys, does it really matter? Amy's dead, Monica's in surgery, she could die too. There are more imortant things than taxi cabs!" Chandler snapped.

"Amy's dead?" Phoebe gasped. Chandler realised that Ross had called them before he knew what was going on, and that he had told them in what was perhaps the worst possible way.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I forgot you didn't know," he said.

"Oh my God! What about Monica?" Joey asked. He sounded like he might be about to cry.

"She has loads of injuries, and they think she might have brain damage or something as well. They're still trying to find out."

"Oh god!" Phoebe gasped. She sat down next to Becky.

No one spoke until Ross came back from seeing Amy. Even then, all they did was say 'hi' to Ross. There was nothing else any of them could think to say, Becky fell asleep against Chandler. It had been a long, awful day for her, and she was absolutely exhausted. When Rachel arrived with pjs and a teddy bear for Becky, a nurse asked Chandler to take her up to the children's ward. Becky woke up on the way and started crying again when Chandler had to leave her. In the end, he called Ross and said he would stay with Becky, but to call him if anything happened with Monica.

Two hours later, his mobile rang. Several children were asleep, including Becky, so he got some dirty looks from parents.

"Sorry," he muttered and hurried away with the phone. "Hello?"

"Hi, she's out of theatre. They said we can see her soon," Ross said quickly.

"I'll be right there," Chandler said. He rushed back to the ward to tell a nurse he was leaving, then ran all the way back down to the emergancy room.

"Whats going on?" he asked the doctor, slightly out of breath.

"Mrs Burke has been taken up to intensive care. She's in a critical condition, but you can see her, one at a time, if you want to. In an hour or so, she'll have a brain scan. We won't know much until then," Dr Granger told them.

"I want to see her. I have to get back to Becky," Chandler said. He knew the others wanted to see Monica too. But her desperately needed to see her, to talk to her again, and he knew Becky would panic if he wasn't back by her side when she woke up again.

"Fine," Ross sighed. He had hoped he would get to see Monica first, since she was his sister. But Chandler was right. Becky needed him.

Chandler walked into Monica's room slowly. He wanted to see her, but at the same time, he was afraid to see her. If he didn't know for himself how bad she really was, he could still kid himself that this wasn't really happening, or at least that she would be okay. But once he saw her, he would have to face the horrible reality.

She was surrounded by machines. It seemed like they were the only things keeping her alive, and he hoped it wouldn't be that way for long. He hoped she would recover and breath on her own again, get up, walk over to him, throw her arms around him and kiss him. He could almost see her doing that, then he blinked hard and shattered the illusion.

"Hi Monica," he whispered. "Its me, Chandler. God, I hate seeing you like this."

He walked closer, so he was standing right next to her. She looked even worse than he had imagined. Her legs were in casts, her chest was strapped to support her broken ribs, she had several needles in her arms that were attatched to drips, cuts, some stitched some not all over her face and body, as well as bruises, dark purple stains on her pale skin.

"Mon, don't leave me. Dont' leave Becky. Please. I know it hurts, but dont' give up. We need you. Especially Becky. Don't make her an orphan Mon," Chandler said. He had wanted to see her so badly, but now he was with her, he didn't really know what to say, but he supposed just being with her was enough, for now anyway. He couldnt' bring himself to say goodbye, because that would be like admitting that she was beyond his reach, and he wasn't ready to think that yet.

Eventually, after he had been sitting there, not speaking for almost ten minutes, Ross came in and quietly asked if he could see Monica now. Chandler nodded and reluctantly stood up to leave. He kissed Monica lightly on the forhead, glanced at Ross for a second, then kissed her again on the lips.

He went back to the children's ward to sit with Becky. There was no point in hanging around with the others waiting to get to see Monica again. He didn't feel like making small talk with them, nor was he up to talking about Monica. Becky was asleep, and even if she woke up, she was four years old, he didn't think she would ask too many questions, she was too shocked and scared.

Becky didn't wake up for half an hour, but Chandler didn't leave her bedside once. Twice, a nurse offered him a cup of coffee, both times he declined. When she woke up, she looked around, her blue eyes suprised at the unfamiliar surroundings. When she saw Chandler, she smiled, recognising him. It took a few moments for her to remember what had happened, and when she did, Chandler saw her register the facts and try to cope with them, but it was far too much for him, never mind this little girl. She looked at him, her eyes full of tears, begging him to make it better. He wished he could.

"Chandler? Where's Mommy?" she asked shakily.

"Another ward, like where you are, excpet all the people there are really sick," he said, simplifying it as much as possible.

"Is Mommy really sick?"

"I'm afraid so honey."

"Is she gonna die, like Daddy and Amy?" Becky asked solemnly, reminding Chandler that Becky understood much more about death than most kids her age.

"I hope not," was all he could say. He didn't want to promise anything, because if he told her Monica would be fine, and she died, Becky would never forgive him. He would never forgive himself.

"Chandler?"

"Yeah?"

"If Mommy does die, what will happen to me? I'm only little. I still need my Mommy," she said. Chandler wanted to cry at the serious, worried look her her young face.

"I'll look after you sweetheart, I promise," he said. That was one thing he felt comfortable promising, although after he had done so, he wondered if it was right. He would always want to take care of Becky, the question was if he would be allowed to. But he pushed that thought away and hugged Becky, they both needed it.

"Chandler?" another voice said. He looked up, Becky followed his gaze. It was Phoebe.

"Hey Phoebs," Chandler said. Becky managed a small, pathetic wave.

"Monica's awake. Ross is with her now, but he says she keeps asking for you," Phoebe said.

"I'll be right there," Chandler said. Becky turned to him, starting to cry again.

"Please don't go," she said.

"I have to honey, I wanna see your Mommy," he said. He immediately regretted it, because Becky started screaming again.

"I wanna see Mommy too! When can I see Mommy?"

"I don't know. I think you're supposed to stay here," Chandler said, looking helplessly over at Phoebe, who shrugged.

"But I wanna see Mommy!" Becky wailed.

A nurse hurried over to see why there was a screaming child on her ward. When she heard Becky's screams, she gave Chandler and Phoebe stern looks, making them feel not much older than Becky for a minute, then she turned to Becky, changing to look sympathetic and caring almost effortlessly. She had been informed about Becky's circumstances, and felt very sorry for her.

"Yes, Becky, you have to stay here. Maybe you can see Mommy tomorrow," she said kindly.

"I kinda have to go. Sorry," Chandler said, backing away. Becky screamed and held her arms out to him. the nurse gave him a stern look that told him exactly what she thought of people who walked away from crying children. He went back to Becky. "Sorry honey. I'll be back soon, I promise." She hugged him tightly, sniffing, then reluctantly let him go.

"Bye Chandler," she said.

Chandler followed Phoebe back to intensive care. He felt increadibly torn. He knew Becky needed him, she had lost her father, her sister, and was in danger of losing her mother too, she needed him to be there for her. But he had to see Monica, especially if she was asking for him. He felt like there was so much still to say, even though earlier he hadn't been able to talk, that was because she couldn't talk back. But now that had changed, she had woken up. He suddenly felt like dancing down the corridor.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Okay, I know not much happened, but see, I didn't kill Monica. Yay me! Anyway, the next part is on its way. Until then, please review. :)