Disclaimer: These are not my characters but belong to some one else as does the first bit of dialogue. I don't make any money out of them.

OK. Sometimes things need to be long, drawn out very realistic and dramatic and sometimes they need to be short and sharp and a bit weird. This is the latter. Some of the characters behave a bit strangely in this one. That's deliberate.

This is set in the middle/end of TOW Joey's Dirty Day in Season 4. Joey and Ross are busy and the girls are trying to cheer Chandler up after his split from Kathy. You will recall that they, unsuccessfully, took him to a strip club (as you do). This starts as they get home, beginning with the actual dialogue and then taking it in another direction, but not actually too far removed from what was implied in the episode, depending on how you interpret the ending.

Phoebe nodded, "Y’know what, you were right, you were right. We really weren’t great at being guys, but you know why? Because we’re girls."

"Yeah?" responded Chandler, had they just noticed?

Phoebe was not put out "And do you know what girls are really good at?" She asked him.

"Stripping." Chandler replied exasperated.

Phoebe shook her head and made him sit down. "No, listening! Sit! Y’know, maybe it would just really, really help if you would just talk."

Rachel patted him on chest. "Yeah, come on! What’s going in on in there?" The girls gathered around him.

"You wanna know what I'm thinking?" Chandler asked.

The girls all nodded.

"We have just come back from a strip club?" Chandler reminded them.

Monica whined. "Come on Chandler. Talk to us. We can only help you if we know what's going on inside."

He sighed. He just wanted to be left alone to wallow in self-pity and think about the strippers. "I'm thinking I'm not going to have sex in a long time. I'm thinking that even pregnant, Phoebe looks sexy, particularly as her boobs are bigger. I'm wishing that Rachel would bend down again as then I can see the top of her boobs. But mostly I'm thinking that Monica must be really good in bed as she is so passionate about everything and I was looking at her mouth and wondering if she gives even better head than Kathy did."

The girls all straightened, took their arms away from him and frowned. Rachel sighed, "Well that will teach us to ask a guy what's going on inside his head."

"Is it always that dirty?" Monica asked, amazed.

Chandler smiled at her, trying not to look at her mouth. "Pretty much." He said without apology. He pulled the leg rest of the chair up and buried his face back in his hands. He was vaguely aware of the girls whispering behind him. He had expected them to leave him in disgust. Eventually he got bored waiting for them to go and went to get himself a beer. Rachel stopped him by the fridge.

"Have you really been looking down my top?" She asked him.

"Yeah. Sorry but you did ask."

She smiled and stretched up and kissed him fully on the lips. He stumbled backwards against the fridge in surprise and she pressed right up to him. "You see Chandler we do care about you. Can't you just be grateful for a little female affection to see you through a bad time?"

He leant down and kissed her back, running his tongue along her lips. He pulled away and glanced over at Monica and Phoebe but they were smiling at him so he pulled Rachel into a full-blown passionate kiss. She kissed him back and ran her hands down to his butt. He took that as permission to run his own hands over hers. He broke away and yanked her top away from her breasts and glanced down at the twin peaks that he had only previously been able to sneak a look at. She smiled at him.

"Feel better?" She asked.

"FFFllllennninggg." He stuttered.

"You see girls are not just good at stripping, we have soft bodies and soft lips for kissing. We can make you feel far better than some strip show."

Chandler stared at her open mouthed, convinced that somehow the words she had spoken must have been altered somewhere between his ears and his brain.

"FFFllllennninggg." He said again.

"Come and sit down." She urged him and she led him to the couch. As he sat down Phoebe leaned across and kissed him as Rachel had done. He froze a little, not sure what game they were playing but he quickly started to let himself go and enjoy the kiss. Her hands gently stroked the inside of his thighs and he groaned, aware that the other two girls were watching him. His hands went up to her swollen breasts and she let him feel the evidence of her fertility.

Phoebe pulled away. "See Chandler, we love you and we don't want you to have to go after some cheap thrills with strippers and lap dancers when you have friends that love and care for you. We'll do anything it takes to make you feel better."

Chandler looked bemused from one girl to another. "Anything?" Before they could change their minds he grabbed Monica and kissed her running his hands over her. "This does make me feel a whole lot better." He said with a smile.

Monica eventually stopped him as he started to tug at her clothes. "Not here Chandler you have to decide."

Chandler looked annoyed. "Decide, decide what? I thought you would do anything?"

Rachel frowned. "Come on Chandler you can only cope with one of us. But to prove that we would do anything, and therefore that you are loved and cared for by all of us, you get to choose. Any one you want, we have all agreed we will sleep with you. We've slept with some real shits, so why not our friend when he needs a little bit of lovin' to get him through, but you have to choose one. We're prepared for one of us to give you loving sex, not an orgy."

Chandler looked from one girl to the other. "Now? I get to have sex with one of you now?"

Rachel shrugged, "It's no big deal. Girls are always having sex with guys because they feel sorry for them."

Monica agreed. "There are a lot of guys who would otherwise never get laid. The only difference is that you get to choose so that you know how much we all care about you."

The girls all nodded. "If you promise it will make you feel better." Phoebe reminded him. "And you can't tell anyone."

"Wow," Chandler said, "I've never had such sympathy. I have THE best friends."

"Yeah you do. Now choose so that Rachel and I can go get a coffee." Phoebe told him.

Monica frowned at her friends' assumption and pulled the other two to one side.

"One in three chance you said!"

Phoebe sighed, "I'm pregnant and he's always staring at your boobs and as that's Rachel's best bit he must really like you."

"Is that why you agreed to this?" Monica exclaimed.

Phoebe and Rachel nodded. "Go cheer him up girl!"

"No big deal you told me." Monica reminded Phoebe. "Have you seen his bulge? It looks like a big deal to me?"

"Yeah. It looks like you're going to get cheered up too. Now go and give him some lovin'"

Chandler grinned as Monica turned back to him and took her hand and led her to his room. Away from the other girls she was nervous, but Chandler was ahead of her to finish what he had started in the living room. He kissed her face, down her neck and started pulling at her clothes, before someone changed their minds and decided that there were other ways of making him feel better, like a hot drink and some cookies.

"Do you want me to go down on you Chandler or do you just want sex?" His brain took a few moments to take in her question, had she really just asked that?

"I get whatever I want?"

Monica gulped, "Within reason."

"I'll have both. I want your mouth around me while I watch and then I want to make love to you on the bed."

Their clothes seemed to fall away from them and within minutes Chandler had a naked Monica at his feet. He thrust at her and the warmth of her mouth and tongue around him sent him dizzy almost straightaway. He held her head to steady himself and watched her work on him in the mirror of his dresser. Somehow she managed to stimulate all of him at once. "Better than Kathy" was his last coherent thought as Monica's mouth sent him into ecstasy.

"Mmmm, Mon… Ohhh, I'm there! I'm there!" He gasped and she slowed and made her movement much gentler on him as he came.

She smiled up at him. "OK? You need a while now?"

He looked down at himself. It normally took a few minutes, not today. Today was the stuff of dreams come true. He was very quickly ready to receive more sympathy.

Monica lay out on the bed and Chandler positioned himself between her legs. He ran his hands over her body appreciating every curve. He kissed her with sincere gratitude before he thrust up watching her expression as she took him inside her. She began to move with him clearly enjoying the experience just as much as he did.

"Good?" He asked.

"Mmmm." She responded. "Much better than listening to you going on about that woman."

"What woman?" Chandler asked vaguely, he had found a position inside her that was pure heaven, her vagina giving him just the friction he needed in all the right places.

"I'm giving you sympathy here. At least have the courtesy to remember why you need it."

"Oh yeah, but you're making me feel SO much better."

"Well shut up then so that I get a chance to feel how much better I make you feel. And my life's not so great either, you already got one lot of sympathy I need to concentrate to get some of my own."

The apartment was still dark when Chandler woke up. The sun was only just beginning to fight off the black of the night and a siren wailed in the distance. Chandler shifted and registered that it was the first morning for days that his first thoughts on waking weren't the desolation he felt over losing Kathy. He moved again and smiled as his dream came back to him. "I wish!" He thought. The best dream for a very long time, so realistic and no strange turn of events just before everything got interesting. Why did his brain normally insist on doing that to him? Not last night, last night was perfect. He wondered if Monica really did look like that naked. He rolled onto his front so that he could gently massage his erection against the bed and let his mind drift back to all the details of the dream, her mouth around him and her screams of ecstasy as she came. Something poked him sharply in the leg. He stretched his hand to pick it up and glanced down. It looked like an earring, probably Kathy's, he thought, and threw it onto the floor.