Waiting for Santa Claus

By Daphne

(with thanks to Jjaks for translation and comments)

Sequel to "It Started with a Photo" (as in the Hot Chocolate song - It Started with a Kiss) Thanks for all your reviews. This one came out on top with Hot Showers second. I will try to get round to finishing that one.

Disclaimer: I do not own them or make money out of them or believe that this would happen on the show. All scenes have been carefully and meticulously researched for authenticity (that's why it took a week to write) but I am not responsible for any injuries sustained as a result of copying any of the action portrayed.

This is NC17 so it does deal with sex, but obviously only as an essential part of the plot (the interesting bit). Put another way there is plot breaking up and interrupting the sex, but then life is like that.

This is not a straight sequel. Half of the fiction is the first part again, told from Chandler's pov, but only two sentences are the same, the rest should throw a completely new light on what happened that night before the story continues. As we know (particularly, from TOW the Blackout) that Chandler's mind is typically male and not very logical this may be confusing for women in parts.

The photo was amazing. They both looked so sweet, and so naked. He would have given it back but there were worse photos of him. Never trust parents with photos. There was one that his mother had taken of him naked when he was a little boy. His butt was to the camera and he was bent double peering at his mother upside down through his legs with his penis dangling like a piece of string. Joey had been holding the photo hostage since his mother had last visited. It had cost him a fortune in pizza not to show it to Ross and the others. There was just a chance that Joey would exchange that one for this. If not he really was going to have to give Joey all his porn to get it back.

He looked at the girls' anxious faces; this was going to be fun. No pleading was getting it back off him. But women never play fair, Rachel swaying her hips and running her fingers seductively down her top was unfair distraction. Well if they could play rough so could he. Perhaps throwing Monica onto the couch and pinning her down underneath him to get the photo back was not such a good move. Watching her writhing as he tickled her made it worse for him and he had forgotten how good she smelled. He was in love with Kathy. He had assumed that that would inoculate him against his past obsession with Monica. He hadn't thought about Monica as much, but now with the scent of her in his nostrils, her position of surrender under him and her top pulled tightly over her breasts so that the silhouettes of her nipples were clearly visible it took all his effort not to kiss her. She looked up at him so innocently with those clear eyes of hers. If she knew what he was thinking she would have pushed him off her much quicker.

Kathy's voice rung out from behind them. "Yeah, Monica and I wear the same perfume so you can stop sniffing her now Chandler." No-one had noticed her come in.

Oh shit, Kathy had seen, she had already probed him about his friendship with Monica, suggested that it seemed a little too close. She didn't understand the friendship, or maybe she did, too well. He followed her, puppy like, back to his apartment.

"Were you lying on top of Monica for long?" She asked him casually as the door closed.

"We were just fooling around."

"Really!"

"Oh no, no, no, no. I didn't mean that kind of fooling around. I meant that it was nothing, we were fighting really, over a photo, we were fighting over a photo."

"You didn't look like you were fighting."

"You just came in at a bad moment. It just looked bad because we had stopped fighting."

"You looked like you were about to kiss her."

"Rachel was there!"

"And if Rachel hadn't been there? Tell me the truth you're attracted to her aren't you?" Kathy demanded.

"What Monica? She and I go way back, we're just good friends." He tried to sound nonchalant.

"Good friends that you smell?"

He shrugged. "Dogs smell their friends."

"Don't tell me you were sniffing her butt too!"

Chance would be a fine thing. " She just reminded me of you all of a sudden, must have been the perfume."

He put his arms around her and kissed her gently. She wasn't Monica. Shit why did that thought come into his head then? He kissed her harder and ran his hands over her curves. He had been obsessed with Kathy, had longed to be able to do this. Had risked his friendship with Joey for this. He started to move his hands under her top. In response her hands went up his shirt. It felt good. She tugged at the button on his pants. He panicked for a moment and thought he might not even be able to perform, she was moving too quickly. He pushed her up against the wall.

"You're horny tonight." He told her in between kisses.

"Just staking my claim."

"Careful where you put the flag."

"Oh I know where the flag is." She told him and pulled his penis out of his pants, just in time he was up and ready. It was lucky that the construction had not really recovered from its excitement of having Monica so near. He helped Kathy remove her underwear and then pushed her back up against the wall and pulled his own pants out of the way.

"You wanna move this into the bedroom?" She asked him surprised.

"I thought the wall. I've only done it a couple of times against a wall."

"You have to be strong. They don't call it a knee trembler for nothing."

"I think I can just about manage unless you've put on weight since the last time you went on top." He moved between her legs but she put her hands out to stop him.

"Do I look like I put on a weight?" She asked annoyed.

"What no! You look slimmer than ever, which is why I thought we'd try it this way for once."

"Fantastic save Bing."

"I know. "

He lifted her, pulled her legs up around him, entered her and grunted. She was right. It was hard work supporting all her weight. It wouldn't be hard work with Monica. She was so light. He closed his eyes and mind to that thought. It was unfair. He buried his head in Kathy's neck and started to move to cause the necessary friction. The satisfaction of regular sex. Regular sex with a woman he loved and he was messing it up with that silly old crush on Monica. But the thought of her writhing underneath him as he tickled her spurred him on and he felt his legs become very weak. He wasn't sure he could finish things this way. He really should go to the gym more. More? He really should go to the gym occasionally. Well once would be a start. He gritted his teeth and hung on in, the physical sensations were just so good, he would be a fool to give this up for that silly old crush. Kathy moaned and Chandler responded with a grunt as his release began. He just about managed to stand by pressing her hard into the wall so that they were both leaning against it as they shuddered. As soon as he had finished, she slid down so that she was back on her feet.

They both adjusted their clothes.

He smiled and kissed her. "What are we going to do the rest of the evening?"

 

Chandler woke slightly as the bed moved as if someone was getting up and then the door was opened and closed. Kathy going to the bathroom , he thought. As he dozed again the door opening seemed to come only seconds later and he heard her trip and fall onto the bed. He was awake now. He felt guilty at how distant he knew he had been tonight. They had planned a romantic evening but it was as if Monica had been sat there with them. He knew that Kathy had sensed something was wrong. He put his arms out to her. Not her fault if the old disease was rearing its head again. She was sweet to him. He had buried it in the past; he could bury it again. He snuggled up against her, instinctively putting his hand up to fondle her breasts. In the dark they seemed smaller and firmer, perhaps she was cold. She was dressed again so he light heartedly complained and tugged it off. She didn't seem too happy about that but she didn't complain, just didn't help him. So he didn't worry. Kathy always told him when to leave her alone. She was no pushover.

He snuggled down next to her. The feel of her naked skin quickly got to him, they had only done it twice in five hours and he was still horny. Her skin felt amazing, incredibly soft and smooth. Earlier in the evening he was worried that he wouldn't get it up, now he couldn't get it down. She smelled so nice, almost like Monica, he thought, and cursed himself. He had to block Monica out. He moved against the girl next to him, all his nerves were now on edge and his penis throbbed in need. He would never get back to sleep. He apologized and moved on top of her. Her skin slid sensually beneath him, she had never felt so good. Only her nipples, hard against him, broke the velvet. She raised no objection so he pushed into her.

His mind went crazy, she was so tight, so dry. He groaned, what the hell had happened? She must have been asleep or had washed since they last did it. He kept thrusting. He should make this quick for her, she clearly didn't want it. He put his head on her shoulder and his hand into her hair. It was not Kathy. That thought went through him like a bolt. He continued to thrust. It wasn't Kathy, the hair the smell, the breasts, Jesus Monica! He must be dreaming he was with Monica. But in his dreams she cried out, this woman was silent, eerily silent and she didn't respond. She was lying awkwardly and passively just accepting him. But he was having sex with Monica.

His mind was in a whirl, Monica, the photo on his nightstand, the feel of her falling onto the bed in the dark, him groping her and dragging her clothes off. He was going to have to stop. Tell her he knew, he couldn't do this to her. She would be embarrassed. He would be embarrassed. He imagined the scene. "I'm so sorry. I thought you were someone else." "No problem, easy mistake, if you would just take your penis out of me?" Why did he imagine they would both suddenly gain English accents? Yeah that was the important question! Focus Chandler, focus.

His hips would not stop, he was with Monica, a couple more thrusts until the revelations and the embarrassment, just a couple more. Oh Jesus Monica how was he supposed to stop? Then she started to move underneath him, instead of passively accepting him she was moving with him, her body demanding him as his had her. "Monica, honey, you want me too?" He asked her in his head. Out loud he kept up the pretence but still needed to make sure that this was what she wanted.

"You awake now honey? Do you want me to see if we can get you up there too?" He asked her.

Still she was silent, she had to be silent to keep up the pretence. But at least he had asked, she would find some way of telling him if she really objected. He wanted to kiss her on the mouth, but that would be too revealing, he would taste her and she would know he knew and that would embarrass her. He had to keep up the pretence as long as she did.

He moved his hands up to her breasts and those amazing nipples, that much at least must be allowed, that much he could not control.

She liked that. The woman below started to clutch at him. He felt her orgasm drag through her body, he tried to help her, slow himself down to let her drift gently through, but each time he moved it sent her off again. He felt it first in awe, then in a peculiar mixture of pain and pleasure as her muscles continually clamped down on him and her nails started to drag down his back and butt. He knew he was whimpering, on the border of pain and intense pleasure. His own orgasm hit him like an earthquake, but in the spirit of this strange encounter, he kept it as quiet as possible. Afterwards he let his penis shrink and fall away from her, not wanting to leave her body sooner than nature dictated. As he recovered he felt guilty at his part in the deception. But the reward for silence was knowing that he had just had Monica. No point in regretting pleasure that was past.

He moved off her. It took a few moments before she stirred even to bring her legs back together. He was concerned but at least she answered his question. She accepted the brief kiss he gave her, it would surely seem odd if he did nothing, if there was no acknowledgement of what they had just shared. She accepted the kiss like she had begun by accepting him. She was probably lying there in shame. He was devastated. He pretended to go to sleep to let her get away, but within seconds there was no need to pretend.

Light again. His formerly lonely bedroom was now a revolving door of women. Kathy was back, where had she been? His hand automatically went down and his whole world stopped. He was covered in blood. He was confused and tired, things had gone crazy. Joey for once figured it out, but then he had been with a lot of women. No doubt it had happened to him. Chandler got up, anxious to wash away the evidence. But he had forgotten about his back. There was no way out of this one. Monica was dragged out of bed. Those nervous eyes never once meeting his, the shame was written all over her face. She had met Kathy in the hall, Rachel knew about the photo. Were they all really so dim that they couldn't figure it out?

 

Kathy and he were alone again. He had underestimated her. "It was Monica wasn't it?" She asked as soon as the door was closed.

He ignored her question. "Are you coming back to bed?"

"No. I don't think that's what you want is it?"

There was silence between them. He took a deep breath. "I didn't know it was her. I think she just fell on the bed when she was trying to get that photo back. I thought it was you. I really thought it was you when I first started to…"

"Chandler she wants you. Why can't you see it? "

"Monica? No not Monica. She's just a friend. She only didn't stop me because it would have been embarrassing."

This was such a strange tight group of friends that Kathy even considered it for a moment. Finally she shook her head. "Believe me if she didn't have any sexual feeling for you she would have stopped you. I'm no prude but I would never let a guy be intimate with me if I was indifferent to him. It would make me feel dirty and used."

"We're close, its not like I was a stranger, we've hugged. She just let me hug her a little closer so that neither of us would be embarrassed by my mistake. You know how strange things like this always happen to me."

"Chandler, come here, look in the mirror." She pulled his T-shirt up. " Look at your back!" She yanked his boxers down.. "Look at your butt! Don't tell me those are the marks of a friend letting another friend have a quickie to get out of an awkward situation.

She let him go and moved around collecting her stuff. "It's OK. I just don't want to hang around while you two figure out what is obvious to me."

"Are you dumping me?"

Kathy laughed in astonishment. "Call it a pre-emptive strike."

She kissed him on the cheek. "Bye Chandler, you're a good guy. Don't feel too bad about this."

He gave her a hug. "I'll miss you. I loved you so much."

Kathy winced at the past tense. "Yeah, we were good weren't we? I'll tell you what; if in a couple of weeks you think you made a mistake give me a call. Now I gotta go."

 

 

Breakfast, the smirks and innuendo from the rest and then alone. Monica, the buddy that cooked him breakfast, instead of the passionate velvet stranger of the night. Monica, tending his wounds and arousing him as she did so. Monica, ignoring his hints and forgetting that she shouldn't even know that he had scratches on his butt.

He pushed the hints to the limit; told her that he thought the photo might be bait for the woman to come back.

"Bait?" Monica asked looking at him nervously, "Bait? You're not suggesting for one moment that this phantom women was me… or Rachel?" She added.

Chandler smiled broadly. "Of course not." He certainly wasn't suggesting it was Rachel. Her hair was too long, she smelled different.

Monica walked back to the kitchen. "So tell me straight. Did you know that this woman wasn't Kathy?"

"You want to play truth?" He asked her smiling mischievously.

"I'm kinda busy, perhaps later." She busied herself around the kitchen, clearing things up.

He came up behind her, deliberately invading her personal space. "I thought you didn't have to go to work until this evening?"

"Don't you have a job to go to?" She shifted back from him, uncomfortably trying to avoid his eyes.

"No. I rung in sick. Bad back."

Monica smiled for the first time. "The truth for once."

"Nearly. Do you think I should have really told them the truth and said I couldn't sit down because some incredibly horny anonymous woman tore the flesh of my butt when she was having her fourth orgasm".

"That bad?" Monica had to stop herself apologizing.

"Yeah, you saw. So come on sit down and we'll play truth. You want to know more about what happened last night and I need to understand women better. We can both agree that anything we say is secret and goes no further than us."

"Like the underwear on the line?"

"This is different, secret for secret, it's in neither of our interests to let anything we say go any further."

He took her hand and led her to the couch. He sat on the chair so that he could look at her properly. He watched her fidget with the skin around her nails, pulling it until it looked like it might bleed. "I'll answer your question first. Yes I knew, of course I knew." He watched her face to see whether there was any pleasure in there amongst the shame.

"When?" She looked confused.

"That's your second, my turn first. How often do you have multiple orgasms?"

Monica went completely scarlet; he had gone too far. "That's kinda personal." She said primly.

"And your question wasn't?"

"I suppose."

"Multiple orgasms, how often Monica? I mean are we talking every time or a very occasional treat when the guy is really good at pressing all the right buttons?

"The second thing, you said…. When did you find out?"

"After we started doing it."

"During sex! But when you argued with Kathy… How could you lie so convincingly?"

"It made me look like a creep to go from the arms of one woman to another in the space of an hour. And it wasn't my fault really was it?"

"You could have stopped when you found out not pretended you didn't know!"

He grinned at her. "I was writhing around naked in bed with a beautiful woman, she was pushing herself up to me clearly enjoying things as much as I was. I did think about stopping but then it seemed a terrible disservice to the woman just to stop things dead and then what? Apologize to each other? The damage had been done. My turn. Can a normal woman voluntarily have sex with a man if she has no feelings for him?"

Monica looked awkward. "What do you mean "feelings"?"

"Sexual attraction."

Monica paused. "How can I answer for "normal" women?"

He smirked, she was in no mood to see the irony of her comment. "Alright you then. You can represent "normal" women." It was doubtful whether lawyers would agree on the accuracy of the representation. "Could you have sex with a man if you were not sexually attracted to him?" He looked her straight in the eye.

Monica would have liked the ground to open up. In the circumstances there was no good way of answering this question. He knew, she knew now that he knew. Answering the question would either make her look like a slut or admit that she was attracted to him. "No, it would feel dirty, I would feel used." Chandler smiled; strange that she had used the same words as Kathy.

"So you couldn't have an orgasm under those circumstances?"

"That's two questions."

"So I slipped one in." He smiled mischievously and she ignored it, except for the color that came into her cheeks. He might have given a great performance last night as the innocent bemused victim, Monica was now excelling in the role of the prim shocked friend. "I believe you slipped an extra one in earlier." He reminded her.

"OK. No I don't think I could… ya know, if I didn't like the guy. Did you and Kathy split up because you thought there was a chance that you would have sex with this woman again?"

"I'll answer that with a question. If you were to have the most amazing sex you had ever had, with a man you got on with would you just leave it at that? Wouldn't you want to go back for more?"

Monica frowned; it was clear now what he was asking her. "It depends how complicated the circumstances were."

Chandler stood up and scoffed, "Crap Monica. World shaking sex is rare. Give it a couple of days and the hormones would demand that you went back for more. It's easy to be prim and proper in the cold light of day." He wasn't going to embarrass her any longer. He put his hands on her shoulders. "OK I gotta go."

He could see how nervous he made her standing so close, and touching her, he could see her questioning what he was going to do next.

"I thought you weren't going to work today?" She asked.

Chandler smiled and kissed her on the lips, just a fraction longer than the usual friendly ones he gave her. As he pulled away her hand moved up to cover her mouth. "I have sheets to wash before stains set. I don't need you to tell me that women prefer clean sheets."

Monica shrugged. "Oh right. Don't get your hopes up that the phantom woman will visit again. The one time thing makes it special don't you think?"

"No. It would make it a waste. Perhaps I should talk to Rachel direct." He added and left with a grin, knowing that the last comment would throw her into confusion again.

 

Chandler watched Monica's struggle with herself over the next few days. They both knew what had happened. There was just no open acknowledgement between them. In front of the others he acted no different. But the others were all busy that week and they spent most of the time alone. And alone he acted with affection that teetered precariously over the edge of friendship, but not so that she could make an issue out of it. He made sure of that. He would hold her and cuddle her, no different to how he had only now it happened more and he would hold her much closer. He would openly put his face in her hair and smell it and he tickled her all the time. For the first time he thought that he might have a chance with her and he wanted to make sure that she knew how he felt, without embarrassing her and demanding that she accept what had happened. Whenever they were alone and he kissed her goodbye he always did so on the lips, and always just a little too long. He kept suggesting places that they should go together and she went along and they had evenings together where they did little but talk and laugh.

Four days from the night when Kathy had dumped Monica cooked everyone dinner and, as they had the rest of the week, they all disappeared leaving them alone. Monica was comfortable with that now, she enjoyed the new relationship she had with Chandler, it made her feel less shameful about what had happened. They were close loving friends, but tonight he seemed different, a little on edge.

"How are you Monica?" Chandler asked her as he helped her clear.

"Fine, why?" She looked at him concerned, why was he so nervous about asking such a routine question.

"You should have finished your monthly."

She flushed, "Chandler, some things are private. How the hell do you know?"

"Joey and I know every thing about you. One competition we would always win." He warned.

The atmosphere was suddenly tense between them.

Monica took a deep breath. "You're expecting your phantom woman to visit you tonight aren't you?"

"Not expecting, hoping."

"You shouldn't. All those people knowing what happened the first time, how embarrassing do you think it will be if all those people knew who she was."

"Embarrassment happens, people get over it. It is far more difficult to find someone you want to be with." He looked and sounded sulky. "Joey's out all night, they are all out tonight, it could happen at least one more time and without anyone knowing. She would never regret it. I know she would never regret it."

"But if she came to you again it wouldn't be just sex would it?"

Chandler stared at the cloth in his hands, well at least she had guessed that much; she knew how he felt. "Would that be so bad?" He asked at last.

"I don't know." She replied uneasily. He frowned, threw the cloth down and left without kissing her, without looking back. Angry with himself more than her, but still not giving up hope.

 

 

He shaved, showered, brushed his teeth and went to bed staring blankly at the wall ahead. Tonight or never. It was like waiting for Santa Claus. The clock ticked by very slowly. 11pm, he was alone, 11:30, still alone. It was late, she would have been here by now, she didn't want him. He had tried to show her how he felt but she didn't want him. All those losers she had dated, he knew how desperately she wanted a boyfriend, but not him, she didn't want him. He smashed a glass against the wall and then spent the next 20 minutes picking the pieces up. One cut his foot; he pushed the blood out with his fingers, midnight. He turned the light out and lay in the dark more alone that he could ever remember feeling. At 12:10 there was a creak outside then giggling, one of the neighbors had hooked up. The sound of their happiness made him feel even worse. He stacked the machine with CDs to cover the noise, but all he had were soulful women singing about lost love, broken love, unrequited love… It suited his mood.

Tears pricked at his eyes, and he angrily wiped them away. It was over. There was no point to the obsession except that it would ruin every relationship he ever had. The machine slipped one CD in after another.

Dido's voice echoed around his brain as he stared up. " I can't breathe, until you're resting here with me."

More gentle noises outside as the music softened for a moment, he looked at the clock, 1am, he must have dozed. No doubt the noise was more neighbors ready to make him feel even more retched. He turned Dido up until her distress was blasting through the room once more.

"I couldn't sleep." A voice said at his door.

He sat up.

"Well she can't breathe." He said nodding at the CD and in a daze made room for her in the bed. He turned the volume down.

"You're all cold." She told him as she snuggled up next to him. She lay her head on his chest and he carefully put his hands on top of her in a hug.

"Not any more." He told her with a silly grin on his face. Wretched to deliriously happy in three words.

She shifted her head so that she could see his face. He hadn't closed the blind so that the dim light of the street shone through the drapes and made her eyes glisten.

"I don't like it when you don't kiss me goodbye." She told him and pulled herself up to kiss him. Her lips opened slightly as an invitation and his tongue sought hers. He could taste her mouth properly at last. He picked her up and moved her under him so that he could control the kiss. He moved down her neck up her ears and feverishly around her eyes and her hair. He broke away and looked down at her with a smile.

She smiled back. "Well that was a nice kiss goodbye. Really much more friendly than earlier." She told him and snuggled back down.

Her momentary silence worried him. "We don't have to do it in silence this time. We can talk?"

"I think the welfare reforms are working." She responded.

He grinned. "Not about politics, I was thinking more on the lines of "Yeah baby do it to me.""

"Are we starring in a 70s porn movie then?"

"That's more 80s dialogue actually. That sort of dialogue peaked around '82 and '83. Debbie does New York."

"I thought she just did Dallas?"

"Yeah. I changed my mind I don't really want to talk about vintage porn either. I think I liked you better silent."

He moved his tongue back into her mouth. His hands searched to feel her body but were blocked by her T-shirt. "I told you women have to sleep naked here." He pulled it off her and ran his hands over her breasts.

"I didn't think we were going to sleep.." She whispered to cover her sudden shyness. He bent and sucked gently on her nipples and moved his hands between her legs. She jumped as his fingers started to probe her.

He pulled away and smiled questioningly into her face. "Something wrong?"

She shyly shook her head. "You move fast. I wasn't expecting… I know we kinda already…"

 

"Kinda! The whole Universe shook."

"But it was completely dark and I wasn't me. This feels personal."

He stared at her, "Do you want me to pretend to be someone else? I do a good Woody Allen, or Jim Carrey, I can do Jim Carrey or would you rather my KD Lang?"

"You do KD Lang?"

In reply he licked his lips and nodded down and she blushed.

"Oh. No I'm just a little… ya know."

"Bit country?" He smiled again and said more softly. "Do you want me to close my eyes?"

"Does that sound silly? It's just that I know you so well, it feels strange."

He smiled affectionately at her and stroked her hair. "No, whatever makes you comfortable."

He lay back and closed his eyes.

She waited, and waited. "Are you awake?" She said at last.

"I'm waiting for you."

"Oh."

She moved her hands down over him and suddenly stopped. "Don't look at me then."

"OK, OK I promised not to look."

"You're still peeking, I can see that you're still peeking."

She moved her hands further down, checking that he wasn't looking at her, until she at last felt brave enough to check what had been hidden under the covers.

"You're already naked!" She said in surprise.

He opened his eyes and glanced down. "Jesus am I. How the hell did that happen!" He looked into her shy face staring down at his groin. "You can touch it if you want. It won't bite. It spits sometimes but only when its happy."

She rubbed her hands over his tummy, kissed it lightly, then hesitated before she moved herself back up so that her body was pressed against him.

He groaned. He hadn't expected her to be so shy. He stroked her bare back and she responded by running her hands down his body again, agonizingly stopping too soon. "Mmmmm. You gonna feel it this time? Put your hands on me… please." He pleaded.

She shyly ran her fingers down his penis then gently cupped his balls and felt them contract under her. She moved back to his penis and he started to leak so she smeared it gently over the head in small circular motions.

"Are you on the pill?" He asked her.

"No." She released him and lay with her head on the pillow looking into his eyes. He lay next to her staring back at her.

He pushed the hair away from her face; the hair that had first told him it was her. "We took a risk last time? I just assumed… Hell!"

"You've got condoms right?" She asked worried.

"Yeah, somewhere in my drawer. He twisted round and searched his nightstand. It had been a long time since he had needed them, but he found a box. He pulled something else out.

He looked at her slightly nervously. "I got a present for you. I thought you might want to wear something too."

"You were confident I would come then?" She noticed the shadow pass over his face and, for the first time that his eyes were slightly puffy. "OK where's my present?" She said brightly and expected some piece of black or red lingerie.

He handed her a paper bag. She took it and pulled out a pair of large snow mitts.

"Mittens?" She asked bemused.

"Do you mind wearing them?"

"You want me to wear mittens? Couldn't you have found less, well…big ones, with these on I won't be able to hold onto you."

"That's the idea."

She smiled, realization dawned, he wasn't just kinky. She was slow tonight. "They're scratch mitts? I won't scratch."

"You promise, because if you scratch again…? I'll probably enjoy it but I really don't think my back could take it."

"I won't scratch. So long as I don't have to keep silent I won't scratch."

"OK, well I'll trust you. Do I need to gag you instead?"

She smiled, "Whatever turns you on."

"Are you disappointed?"

"In what?"

"Your present."

"I wasn't expecting a present."

"But when I had a present for you and you found it was mittens, weren't you disappointed?" He probed.

"A bit. Its not the most romantic present I ever got. Though it does beat the tampax you bought me last birthday."

"They were useful!"

"You mean it was either that or condoms… again. I saw you rush to the bathroom at Central Perk when you realized you had forgotten my Birthday. "

"Right this is not where this conversation was supposed to go. Would you like a more romantic present?"

"I wasn't expecting a present."

"So you said. But would you like one?"

"Yeah."

"Right, that was easy to drag out. Look in the mittens."

"It's dark. You going to put the light on?"

"No. That would break the mood, you'll have to feel in the mittens."

"Do you want me to feel you in the mittens?"

"Just put your hands in the mittens woman!"

She put her hands inside and pulled out a long velvet box from one. "OK you're going to have to turn the light on now so I can see what's in the box. "

He kissed her. "Tomorrow, when you wake up tomorrow, you can look in the velvet box then. Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of our lives, I want you to start it happy."

She put the box on the nightstand and pulled him to her and kissed him. "Thank you for my present. I feel bad now that I don't have a present for you."

"You carry on feeling bad. I like you bad. "

He pushed the covers off and lay on his side facing her. His hands started to explore her more thoroughly. When they moved between her legs this time she gave him access and let him very gently stimulate her. A few minutes later she started to stroke him. He couldn't resist looking down at her tiny hands around him, her shyness was going as he aroused her.

"Tell me why you came so much last time?" He murmured and moved up to kissing her neck as they continued to masturbate each other.

"Your hips, it was the way you ground your hips against me when…" She didn't finish her sentence, her body had started to squirm around the bed. He looked into her face, she was ready for him at last.

He broke away from her to roll the condom on as she openly watched. He quickly climbed on top of her. "Monica, do you need me now?"

"God yeah."

"Have you been thinking about me inside you?"

"Mmm."

"You want it rubbed inside you again?"

"Yes. "

He pushed himself into her and smiled as she wrapped herself around him. Her skin was so soft it was like being wrapped in cotton wool.

"How could you think I wouldn't know?" He asked her feeling the silky inside of her thighs against his legs every time he thrust into her.

She was already moaning, and writhing underneath him. He tensed when her hands when down his back and very teasingly glided her nails gently against him.

He groaned. "God it turns me on, despite the fact that it hurt so much the thought of you doing it again turns me on."

"I told you you were kinky."

"Perhaps I'll get Rachel to put the cream on this time." She hit him but he just laughed and squirmed. "Ooohh yeah. You can't do anything to me Mon, whatever you do turns me on."

She giggled and wriggled and the two of them somehow ended on their sides facing each other again, Chandler still managing to rock himself in and out of her. But she quickly groaned in frustration. She pushed her hand in between them. "I need that bit there." She said prodding him just above his penis. He moved on top of her again.

"Like that?" He said grinding against her.

 

"Oooh yeah, that'll do it."

Her silky body, under him and around him, that would do it, he thought. His body started to demand release and his movements on her became rougher. But instincts were now taking over both of them, their bodies had waited four days for this and were moving any way they could to get and give the stimulation they needed. There was nothing quiet about it this time, as the pressure built the noise they both made increased.

"OK?" He gasped, guiltily aware how frantically his body was now demanding hers, all gentleness had gone.

She couldn't reply, she arched her back and clung onto him, the pressure was unbearable, she was so near the edge, and then the wave crashed over and she screamed. As she shook and clutched beneath him he thought of walls and glass and anything to keep from going over the edge himself, aware that there might be more for her. The shaking and crying eased so he moved harder in her and then felt her orgasm start up again only more powerfully than before, it was too much for him. His whole body erupted, the pleasure reaching up every part of him where usually it had been confined to his groin. At last he felt the life shoot out of him and waited for the rush of relief and relaxation. But his penis didn't shrink and there was only a momentary decrease in tension before he needed her again. She was still murmuring and squirming beneath him. He couldn't quite believe that a climax like that hadn't relieved the tension in either of them. He yanked and tore the condom impatiently to get it off.

"Chandler…" Monica murmured and pushed her hips up.

He stroked her hair comfortingly with one hand whilst the other worked furiously to get the protection sorted, "It's OK I need it again too, I'm just sorting the silicon out, it won't take any more fluid, just wait in there a few seconds."

"You're up again?" She said amazed and relieved.

"Don't count on getting any sleep Monica. I think we're in for a long night. Any idea what the world record is? " He was rock hard and throbbing again as he at last got the new condom on. She stared at it as amazed as he was. "This isn't normal Monica."

She smiled as he positioned himself on her. "I told you I couldn't represent normal women."

 

The sunlight streamed through the crack in the drapes in a long thin shaft of light. Monica opened her eyes and they fell instantly on the velvet box now resting on an envelope. The box was dark blue, she hadn't seen that in the darkness. Chandler's present. She sat up and put her hands to the lid. It opened with a slight creek. The man beside her shifted only slightly. Monica's eyes turned back to the contents of the box. It was a gold necklace hung with tiny moons and stars that glittered with the tiny diamonds that each one contained.

She looked at the envelope. It was addressed "To my darling Monica", he must have put it there in the night. There were two photos inside. The one of her and Rachel and the other showed a small smiling naked boy. The picture was taken from behind and his head was between his knees, his toddler penis dangling. She grinned and turned the picture over. On the back Chandler had written. "I don't need any bait, but I place this in your care as a sign of trust between us to overcome our strange beginning. "

She relaxed back into the pillow and gazed at Chandler sleeping. Oh Jesus she was making the bed wet again. She grabbed a tissue and sniffed. She couldn't remember being so happy so soon after waking. Too bad that she hadn't got him anything to show how much she cared about him. She wanted him to wake up as happy as she had. There again it was easy to make guys happy, you needed need to waste money on flowers. She grinned into his sleeping face and dived under the covers.

Chandler was so exhausted from the night's activities that his body didn't bother to wake him until evacuation was imminent. He put his hands into her thick glossy hair and rocked and groaned through the final few moments with no real awareness of anything except that he was on the brink. He held her head to stop her as he shuddered, forgetting to even check that she was OK with that. He came only a few minutes after waking.

He leaned back on the bed as she re-emerged. "You liked the necklace? Or was that for the photo?" He asked her smiling.

"That was a sorry."

"Sorry, for what?"

"For not trusting you and for taking so long to come to you last night."

"You're forgiven. Best apology I ever got. You can upset me all you like in future. In fact after breakfast do you want me to apologize to you?"

She smiled, and then looked panicked. "Jesus, Chandler what time is it?"

They both stared at the clock and then Monica just snuggled down again. "They can make they're own breakfast."

Chandler shook his head. "No Monica. You don't understand we all rely on you for breakfast."

"What do you do when I'm out all night?"

"It doesn't happen very often, we bribe your boyfriends to stay here. When it does we all plan in advance and make sure that we get ready made stuff. Believe me there will be four hungry people out there looking for you."

"They won't find me here." She said casually and got out of bed.

"Joey has never worried about barging in here and he will to get me in on the hunt…. Jesus Monica you look amazing." Chandler's worries flew out of the window as Monica posed teasingly in just the mittens and the necklace and then they both froze as Joey's voice called out.

"The lock Monica, the lock." Chandler screamed. But Monica had to fumble with the mittens and she was too late. Joey stood staring at her.

"I found her." He called out to the others. "At least I think it's her."

They all filed in and stared open mouthed first at Monica, who had managed to snatch her T-shirt to hold in front of her, but was still bizarrely wearing winter mittens, then at Chandler, clearly naked in bed and then at the pile of empty condom wrappers on Chandler's nightstand.

Ross couldn't quite comprehend what he was seeing. "Are you naked?"

Rachel scoffed. "No. Can't you see the mittens and the necklace? Jesus for a necklace like that I'd consider having sex with Chandler. Even if he did insist on me wearing mittens."

"Is that all the store credit it takes to get you into bed then?" Ross sneered.

"I'd need the matching earrings and bracelet to even think of going anywhere near you again." Rachel snapped at him.

"Thanks, Ill keep that in mind if ever I go completely insane." Ross responded. He was angry with Chandler, but he suspected that if he had a go at Chandler, Monica might not be too happy. It looked like she had got quite fond of the guy and he couldn't risk upsetting Monica, not before she had cooked him breakfast.

They all turned their attention back to the guilty couple. Monica and Chandler looked uncomfortable at the scrutiny.

"She couldn't sleep." Chandler explained at last.

Phoebe smiled. "Perhaps that was because you kept sticking your penis in her."

 

 

 

 

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