No Strings 2

 

By Daphne

 

Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me. I just use and abuse them for my and your personal pleasure when there is nothing better to do.

 

 

 

Chandler walked nervously into the girls' apartment and nodded to Monica "Hey… Rachel back yet?"

"Yeah, she's on the phone in my room."

"And? What did the Doctor say?"

"She didn't tell me, but she seemed pretty mad at Ross."

"Oh.. hi Rach'" Chandler nervously greeted Rachel who in a cartoon would've had steam coming out of her ears.

"Did you get through to Ross?" Monica said, also nervous, but only because her friend was clearly so angry.

"Gunther said he was on his way up… and here he is." Rachel replied and folded her arms ready for battle as Ross entered. Joey and Phoebe followed, both shamelessly pleased that the look on Rachel's face told them that something was going to brighten up a dull day.

"You wanted to see me Rach?" Ross really couldn't believe he had done anything wrong, but that face, he knew that face.

"How did it go at the doctor? Are you pregnant?"

"I'm not pregnant. I told you I couldn't be pregnant, the doctor thought I may be a little anemic, probably the diet I've been on."

"That's not so bad, why the face?" Ross asked. No one noticed Chandler in the corner, trying and not quite succeeding in containing a dance of relief. His arms were bent at the sides and he shifted uncontrollably from one foot to the other.

"I have syphilis. I have to go to the clinic." Rachel's words stopped Chandler dead on the spot.

"Syphilis? You've got an STD?" Ross questioned for confirmation.

"Yeah you know syphilis, but it's OK they call it a sexually transmitted infection now, not a disease, so much nicer don't you think?" She added sarcastically.

Chandler's hand shifted to his genitals, knowing straightaway that he had it too. He had been hoping that the strange discharge would disappear.

Ross looked at her with incredulity, "You're not suggesting that I …"

"Who else?"

Do you want the full list or the abridged version?" Ross replied in annoyance. "I can give you mine straight off, Carol, Julie and you."

"What about Jeanette?"

"That was after you and whilst I wouldn't claim to be the expert.…"

"Look guys," Joey interrupted, before this got into a fight. They were on the one topic he could speak on with authority. "When did you last go the clinic? You can check names back from there?"

Everyone except Joey shifted uncomfortably, "Tell me that you get checked regularly?" Joey said exasperated.

Ross looked ashamed, "Well there was that one time at College wasn't there Chandler?"

Chandler made a face, "Eeeuuww yeah, and that hot nurse stuck that stick right in the… eeuww not pleasant, didn't want to do that again!"

Ross nodded, "You should have told her you were a virgin man."

"She was hot, I just thought she would be checking me out externally. I didn't think she would do that!"

Joey threw his hands up and looked at the girls, who all looked away.

"I'm not a slut." Monica said in her defence, "And I think I would notice…"

"Yeah and I usually use condoms." Phoebe added.

"Usually!?" Joey exclaimed and noticed that once again the rest of his friends looked guilty as hell.

"Well they just don't suit some guys." Phoebe responded. "Though the purple ones go with most skin tones."

"Oh my God! We are all going to my clinic tomorrow." Joey told them in a fatherly command. Ross and Chandler edged away, Joey wagged his finger at them, "And don't think you two are getting away with it. You may not get a lot of sex but I don't want you discharging anywhere near me."

 

It wasn't one of their most joyous trips. They all arrived back at the apartment with their envelopes.

"Wow." Phoebe grinned looking at the stony faces all around her, "Are we going to read the results out in reverse order? I have Chlamydia. And I for one am pretty relieved that I found out. Thank you Joey." Joey nodded, in a self satisfied way. "Yeah I was going to call my daughter that! I didn't know it was some secret unmentionable infection.

"Rachel threw her card on the table. "Well I just have syphilis, but I knew that."

"I'm clear, as ever." Joey said proudly. "Chandler?"

Chandler shifted, if Ross was clear and he wasn't it exposed him once again. Rachel didn't think she had had sex since Ross so if Ross was clear having dated her for months he was back in the frame… Was it mean to be praying that his best friend had syphilis? "Ross first." He said to put off the moment.

Ross threw his card down. "Yeah I got syphilis." Chandler punched the air, "YES!"

The rest looked at him weirdly, as he realized what he had just done, "Well I got it too and it's so much nicer being part of the majority group.

"Monica looked glum, "I got gonorrhea and Chlamydia."

Chandler couldn't help grinning, "We have a clear winner ladies and gentleman! Monica has even managed to beat us all at this!"

"What am I going to tell Richard? He had one partner before me, what's he going to think?"

Ross put his hand on her shoulder, "Well you always used condoms with him didn't you?"

Monica shrugged, "Except that one night where you and Rachel won the last one."

"The games you kids play." Chandler responded, too happy to take anything seriously. "What else did you play? Hunt the hemorrhoid cream? Shoot the lube?"

Phoebe noticed Chandler's over exuberant mood, which contrasted so starkly to the mood he had been in for the last few weeks. "Chandler anyone would think you were pleased that you had syphilis?"

Chandler shrugged, "Well when did a woman ever give me anything before?"

Joey frowned, "Yeah, very touching, I'm surprised at you."

Ross looked bemused, "I never realized Joey was so strict."

Chandler nodded, "Yeah, candy and condoms. He gives me condoms and takes away my candy."

Joey shook his head, "I never swapped your candy for condoms."

"Well I got some really horrible gum then!" Chandler clapped his hands together. " Right I'm going to phone all my ex-lovers to tell them the good news…. I'll be back in about thirty seconds."

Monica looked up, "Can I use your phone to call Richard? Rachel will be on ours for hours!"

"Hey!" Rachel looked offended.

"The truth honey, I would start with Paolo."

"Water all round guys?" Joey got up and watched them all take their antibiotics. "Let that be a lesson to you! And next time you might not be so lucky!"

Five heads spun round, "Lucky?"

Joey nodded frowning, he was reveling in being the most sensible and well informed of them for once, "Yeah lucky. You can all be cured. If you'd got herpes or AIDS you would be stuck with it for life. In future you all use condoms and go every six months," He glanced at Chandler, "Well if you have had sex in those six months anyways."

Chandler put his glass up in a toast, "To curable STIs!"

"Yeah but no sex for weeks." Ross said glumly.

"What's new?" Chandler quipped.

Phoebe grinned again, "Well at least Rachel can achieve orgasm through fantasy alone."

Rachel looked at her to shut her up and Monica grinned in memory at the story.

"What's this?" Chandler asked.

"Tell him Rach." Phoebe urged.

Joey said down attentively. "Yeah tell us Rach."

Rachel held her hands up and gave Phoebe another look. "Alright, a few weeks ago I had this really erotic dream and… I came."

"Wow." Joey said waiting for more. "Are we talking wet sheets? Don't stop there!"

Phoebe looked pleased with herself, "And she said it was the best oral sex she ever received! But I don't really believe that."

Joey grinned, "So come on! How did this dream start?"

Rachel looked at Phoebe and knew that she would tell a lewder version if she didn't spill. "Well for some reason this guy and I were in the same bed but I think he was there as a friend."

Phoebe put her eyes to the ceiling, "Yeah right."

"Anyways he was asleep and I was horny and bored. He was lying on his front but when he turned over in his sleep I gave him a quick feel and found that he…he…"

Joey looked frustrated at Rachel's sudden shyness, "He had an enormously stiff cock that turned you on even more?"

Rachel flushed, "Something like that… so I… started to play with it."

Ross frowned, "I take it you weren't playing charades!" he commented sarcastically.

"You bad girl you." Phoebe interrupted.

"Ssssh - we're just getting to the good part." Joey told her, excited by this new side to Rachel, Ross was far more uncomfortable. Chandler was dreading what she was going to say.

"I think I must have taken my clothes off because I was somehow naked. After a little while of rubbing him it started to… moisten a little… and he woke up and was all… well … you know nervous and awkward… and tried to resist it, but I kept rubbing him and kissing him and he kinda lost control."

"And?" The description was taking too long for Joey.."And he pushed me onto my back and had sex with me, really fast, but good, boy it was good. You know when a guy just has to have you, as if their life depended on it?"

Phoebe and Monica sighed.

"You like it like that? I thought you liked it slow." Ross tried to think back.

Rachel shrugged, "Mostly, but it's nice to know that the guy wants you that bad. Passion is catching."

"And you came?" Joey asked, remembering what she had said earlier.

Rachel shook her head, "No, I was nearly there but not quite, so I made him, go down there."

"With his mouth, after he had had sex with you?" Ross asked with incredulity.

"It was a dream and he was amazing! He would get an Oscar in giving head. I had the most amazing orgasm."

Ross looked doubtful, "In your sleep?"

Phoebe smiled again, "You left out the best bits Rachel."

"Am I not allowed some privacy with my dreams?"

"God no!" Monica responded.

"It's killing me here." Joey was on the edge of his seat. "What are the best bits?"

Rachel looked a little shy and Chandler came to her rescue. "Rachel doesn't have to tell us anything she doesn't want to tell us."

"Who asked you?!" Joey snapped at him.

Phoebe ended the story. "She returned the favor and let him go all the way."

Ross put his hand to his mouth in horror, "You mean you let him… in your mouth?"

"Cool." Joey nodded, "Really cool." He frowned, "In a dream, in real life that would put you at risk too."

Chandler put his eyes to the ceiling, "He's like a walking government health warning."

"Well I was Mario." Joey said, for once with pride.

"It was a dream Ross, mind you it was very real at the time, but then I was drunk."

"So this was New Year's Eve?" Ross said thinking back and Rachel nodded. "Did this guy have a face, other than his extraordinarily gifted tongue?"

"It was Chandler!" Phoebe said in delight and they all turned and stared at Chandler who flushed scarlet.

Joey snorted, "I thought you said it felt real!" But really he was pleased for Chandler.

Rachel smiled, "Yeah, that's how I was sure I was only dreaming."

Ross was clearly upset. "Chandler! Again! Why do you keep dreaming about Chandler?"

Rachel shrugged, "Got me, but I guess cause he was there that night."

"Some of us are just dream material." Chandler said proudly and got up to leave. He needed to go and dance somewhere, he could just about contain his glee at being off the hook but knowing that Rachel Green had been telling the girls how great he was in the sack was too much. Monica watched Chandler leave and miserably went to dial Richard in her bedroom. She paused when she heard a very loud noise that sounded like someone yelping and wahooing in over enthusiastic applause at the end of a pop concert.

Monica turned back to the others, "What the hell was that?"

Joey went to the door, "It sounded like Chandler!"

Phoebe gulped on her water, "Don't you guys think it sad that he is so pleased to have been given syphilis by a girl? I'm gonna buy him something nice tomorrow to make up for all the years women have never given him anything… except syphilis."

 

 

Saturday night two weeks later Chandler had been expecting to be able to steal a beer from the girls' fridge without being caught, instead he found Monica at home crying. "Oh Mon!" He said and gathered her into his arms. "You never did tell me how Richard took all this. I take it things haven't been good between you?"

"No he was sweet. And it turns out that Barbara had Chlamydia so it looks like he gave me that and I gave him the gonorrhea."

"Nice to share." He couldn't resist saying sarcastically. He kissed her head, "So why the tears? Did you lie about getting the all clear yesterday because the rest of us got it?"

"No I'm clear. Richard and I broke up last night. The doctor at the clinic tried to frighten me into behaving more responsibly… me! I'm the queen in behaving responsibly! The doctor warned me that the Chlamydia can cause infertility but thanks to Joey they caught it early. I mentioned it to Richard and he told me that he didn't want any more children. "

"Ah." Chandler understood. He kissed her head again.

"Were you jealous of Richard?" Monica asked suddenly.

Chandler put on a false smile. "Jealous? Why should I be jealous?"

"Just something Rachel said."

"Rachel seems to have been saying a lot of weird things."

"The dream? Yeah, Phoebe and I got all the details, dream Chandler was certainly an interesting guy. I wouldn't mind having dreams like that."

Chandler pulled back, he was nervous about discussing the subject, but then she had also said that she wanted a dream like that and he was curious. "What details?"

"Just details. Rachel seems to dream in full nicam stereo, digital color, 3-D… the works."

"Drink is a weird thing."

Monica smiled, "Yeah, I heard once that Belinda Carlisle…"

"Who? " Chandler interrupted.

"That singer, you know "Heaven is a place on earth oooh baby…." Monica glanced at Chandler who was frowning at her attempt at singing, "Anyways… she woke up with a hangover one morning and found that she had bought a horse, but she had no recollection of how or why."

"Shows you what drink can do to the brain."

"Not really, drink makes you forget. Even the following day I had only vague recollections of that night, and there are huge gaps in Rachel's memory, except about the dream. She remembers the most amazing detail about the dream."

Chandler started to feel a little uneasy, wondering if she was implying something. "Do you remember that Valentines when I ended back with Janice?"

"Yeah but you remember the sex right?"

"Not really, just vague hazy memories."

Monica looked into his face, "Dream like you mean?"

Chandler tried not to freeze, it was almost as if she was trying to trap him, "No, not dream like. You can tell if you have only dreamed about having sex with someone or have really had sex. Otherwise my relationship with you would be a lot more awkward - believe me!" He chuckled nervously and then realized that in trying to cover up one thing he had inadvertently revealed another.

Monica looked up him, "You dream about me the way Rachel dreamed about you?"

"No."

"Chandler?"

"Sometimes."

"Am I any good?"

"I've had better." He told her trying to lighten the mood. "You have to compete with Yasmin Bleethe, Julia Roberts and Jessica Rabbit… but you don't do too bad."

"But then I'm only in your head, the real me could be a lot better."

He laughed, "You want to give me some material to work with?"

Monica pulled back and looked at him again with a quizzical face, "You want to know what I do in bed so that you can have more accurate fantasies about me?" Chandler was about to deny it but before he could she grinned, "Maybe."

"What?"

"I said maybe, perhaps you just need to know what my body is like, naked, then you could make sure you at least got that right." Monica could feel Chandler's heart pounding against his chest, it was fun playing with him, but it was mean. She held his face and looked at his shy expression. "I remember telling you that I loved you last time I was drunk and that you were the best guy in the World."

"'Bestest', I think was the word you used and don't worry about it, I know what drink can do."

"I meant it though." She said quietly.

Chandler's heart pounded even harder. She reached up and kissed him on the lips. "I dream about you too. Make love to me Chandler." She whispered.

There was silence inside the room. The traffic outside was as noisy as ever and a flurry of rain fell against the window. But inside the room there was silence. Calm blue eyes stared up at nervous blue eyes.

Chandler licked his lips, "Make love to you? You want me to make love to you? Here? Now?"

She raised her eyebrows slightly in an impish acknowledgement that that was what she had said.

"Oh." He said simply and moved hesitantly closer to here. He bent his neck and paused with his lips just above hers and then dipped in resignation at the inevitable and pressed his lips to hers and held them there. There were fireworks somewhere, or maybe he just imagined it. He pressed his lips harder against hers and began to kiss her properly, his tongue instinctively pushed into her mouth and the taste of her was all around him. Her body pushed against his sent his blood rushing south. He dragged himself off her with a moan. She stared at him patiently.

"Why Monica? Why now? Is this because you're sad because you broke up with Richard? That's not a good reason to risk our friendship."

"My decision Chandler."

"Mebbe…"

"I said you were the nicest guy in the world. I want someone to make love to me, someone I care about, someone who can make me feel better. Someone who will enjoy doing, because it's me. Women like to feel special even when they just need sex."

Chandler looked down at his feet. "You just need sex?"

"OK I was jealous of Rachel. When she told me about her dream I was jealous, I didn't realize that I felt I owned you, in that way. You're my special guy friend not hers. I know it's dumb, it being just a dream and all… But not as dumb as I'll feel now if you don't make love to me, that could really destroy a friendship."

He looked up at her and she saw something in his eyes that she had never seen in them before, if it had been there he had shielded it well, he was mentally undressing her. She took a deep breath and felt a tingle that went straight to her loins. As his lips met hers this time she lost her balance and fell onto the couch. He fell on top of her and started to kiss her anywhere her skin was exposed. His hands were already running up the inside of her legs and she quivered at his touch. He had told himself that he was just going to kiss her for a few minutes, make her feel attractive and loved but that was without the hormones running riot in his body as soon as she told him she "owned" him. He kicked his shoes off, there was only one way that this was going to end. Her skirt was pulled up to expose her panties so he started work on her shirt, the buttons popped and fell either side as he lost patience and simply yanked them away. Not only did she let him but she started doing the same to his shirt. He tried to calm himself. His hands shook as he ran his fingers over her breasts. He could feel her nipples hard even through her bra, his mouth descended again and he started to rub his erection against her in a simulation of the act that was soon to follow. She shifted her legs further apart to give him better access.

They were so engrossed that neither of them noticed Joey silently enter. He was in socks as he was in the middle of getting ready for a date. He didn't close the door as he had just come to tell Chandler he had a call, but he heard the panting and groaning coming from the couch and went to see what was happening. He put his hand over his mouth in surprise when he saw the two of them. Monica had her hands on the bulge in Chandler's pants and was trying to undo him, but her hands were fumbling and she started to pull and break the fastenings in frustration. Joey wanted to tell her that it was a button fly, but that seemed like a bad idea. Instead he padded silently to the door, paused, pulled out a condom from his pocket and quietly placed it on the coffee table beside the couple, he glanced at them again and pulled out another one and placed it beside the first. Chandler at that moment finally succeeded in undoing Monica's bra. He flung the bra quickly out of the way and Joey instinctively caught it, realized his mistake and arranged it carefully on the floor. He checked that they still hadn't spotted him, but Chandler was now sucking on Monica's nipples as if life depended on it, Joey bit his bottom lip willing his legs to move, but the scene was just too hot. Chandler groaned and broke from Monica to help her push down his pants with his underwear. Joey made a run for the door before he saw something he really didn't want to see. And his friends spotted someone that they would want to see even less.

The couple both heard the door close and glanced up nervously. "Jesus is the door locked?" Chandler asked.

Monica wriggled out from under him, pulled her tattered shirt around herself and stood up. "I'll go check." She walked across and put the bolt on.

His eyes watched her return, the interruption was uncomfortable. He smiled nervously. "Locked?"

"It is now." Monica looked down at the one part of Chandler that she had never seen before. "Huh!" She said studying it, a slight smile on her lips.

"What? What is it?" He said, sitting up, worried by her expression.

She sat beside him and continued to stare. His erection softened. "Rachel got it right. She described you from her dream and she got it exactly right, length, girth, the fact that your pubic hair is pretty blonde, considering the color of your hair, and is light over your balls but like a little nest at the base of them."

"Jesus she went into that level of detail?!" Chandler was feeling really self-conscious, he didn't think there had been enough light in the bedroom on New Year's Eve, and if women discussed that level of detail he was never going to let one see him naked ever again.

Monica stroked him gently. " Weird that she imagined you exactly right in her dream. Don't you think it's weird?"

"Yeah, it certainly freaking me out. What else did she say about me in this dream?"

"That's Private Chandler. Girls' talk." Monica didn't notice the hypocrisy; Chandler didn't want to argue over it. He reached down to pull his pants up, the moment had gone, he was back in control, and he needed to cover himself up.

"What are you doing?"

Chandler shrugged, "We're friends Monica, we should appreciate that. " He looked down at his pants, there was no way they were going to fasten; the buttons had all gone.

"It's too late for our friendship, I've seen your thing. Too late to go back now."

She took her shirt off again and dropped it beside her staring into his eyes. Chandler swallowed and stared at the breasts he had been kissing, there were still red marks on them. Still staring at him she stood up to unbutton her skirt. It dropped to the floor.

She hooked her fingers into her panties and paused, "Do you want me to take these off - your call?"

Chandler nodded staring at her groin, who was he kidding, back in control? He had no control, he never had any control, it was bad enough with Rachel, but with Monica he had no chance. He could resist anything except temptation. She had seen it all now anyway, and not actually laughed. He pushed his pants off and dropped them onto the floor. Monica grinned, and removed her panties as Chandler watched. He lay back down. She parted her legs slightly and from his position he could see her lips poking out through neat pubic hair. She parted her legs a little more right next to his face and his mouth dropped open. She ran one finger down her body, over her breasts and down between her legs, pausing as it pressed to her opening. He waited expectantly. She looked down at the entranced man staring up her most intimate parts.

"I suppose we could stop now if that's what you want?" She said mischievously.

"Uh? What?" He looked up at her face in terrified confusion.

"Move over then. " She lay on the couch next to him. "Now where were we?"

Chandler glanced back down to her groin, and pushed his hand between her legs, she was very wet. "There?" He checked, looking into her face.

"Mmmm."He bent his head to kiss her again as he rubbed her. But he wanted to see her properly so he moved down to examine her. She parted her legs to make room for him and sighed as he gave her butterfly kisses on her stomach and up her thighs. When he pushed her legs further apart she surrendered to him wantonly and felt him part her outer lips and look up into her. His tongue started to brush against her and she jerked and cried out. He held her firmly and slowly increased the torture until she was sobbing for him to stop and nearly suffocating him in the process.

In a happy daze she felt him leave her and move up the couch, his penis was leaking heavily as he moved himself into position.

She opened her eyes with a start and held him off. "Chandler!"

He groaned, "What, did Rachel describe this as well?!"

"No. We need a condom."

He nodded, "Right."

She handed him one from the table, she assumed Chandler had got them from his pants, he was way passed logical thought and was just grateful it was so nearby.

His hands were shaking as he tried to put the condom on. Monica smiled as she watched him and then calmly took over and rolled the condom down.

"That was good by the way. You were really good. You'd get my Oscar."

Chandler cursed. Stupid mistake to give good head, he should have fumbled nervously through it. Should he be bad at the sex, or was it too late to be bad at the sex? And could he deliberately make it bad and make Monica think he was a bad lover? With Rachel it had been fast and missionary.

Chandler lay on his back, "Climb onto me Mon, so that I can watch you."

Monica was not sure that she had the strength, she was not much more than a quivering mess. But boy she owed him. She straddled him carefully. She rubbed her body up against his a couple of times and was pleased with the groan it elicited. Her hands went up to her breasts and she fondled them for him.

"Monica, no more teasing, I'm gonna burst."

She held his penis with one hand and guided her body down onto it. Chandler's hands went to her waist to hold her. "Oh my God that feels good." He murmured in appreciation as she rocked on him. It was a great position, he hadn't done it much before. When he managed to open his eyes the position gave him a fantastic view of her taking him into her and he didn't need to do anything except watch her. He let her take control for a while, deliberately trying to keep it slow.

"Do you prefer me forward like this?" Monica leaned forward and kissed him, "Or leaning back a bit like this?" She leaned right back so that he could see exactly what his body was doing to her.

He bit his bottom lip and stared at her, "I just want to see you please yourself - I want to see you lose it."

She smiled and kissed him gently, "More than I already lost it?"

"I didn't get to see, well not your face anyways and you have a beautiful face."

She leaned forward and kissed him as she made love to him, until she could tell that he needed more air. She pulled away and looked into his face, it was now a picture of concentration. She stared at him thoughtfully. One question was definitely resolved. He was not gay. He seemed to practically worship the female body, she could tell that he had been aroused as much by the taste and smell of her as the touch of her. She couldn't remember making love to a man who had made her feel so attractive. Chandler started to murmur and squirm and she could tell that he wanted to go faster. She deliberately kept thing slow to see how long before he broke. His body started to push up to her in an attempt to increase the pace but she pulled playfully away. He groaned and sat up with her legs either side of him. His mouth reached for hers and he kissed her urgently, pulling away only to look down at her body pressed to his.

" I badly need to get off in you." He groaned into her ear, "How long are you gonna tease?"

"Was I too slow?" She asked with mock innocence, kissing him back "You want it fast and rough?"

He kissed her again and bit gently on her lips, "You know I love you too?"

She looked surprised, "You want it that fast and that rough?!"

"Oh yeah."

He pushed her onto her back and pulled her into his arms, holding her to him with his hands on her butt. He thrust himself hard and fast into her and she gasped. He held her tighter so that she didn't move away and thrust quickly and desperately. A few short minutes later he paused slightly, gave her a grateful hot, breathless, sweaty kiss and groaned long and loud. She felt him quiver and jerk and the movement set her off again.

They held each other whilst they gasped and moaned in satisfaction, still rocking until they were both spent. He rolled off her and sat on the edge of the couch with his back to her whilst he removed the condom. The sweat dripped off him and he could feel his heart still racing.

"Do you want a drink or something Mon?"

"No. Come and lie down."

He grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch and pulled it over them both.

He kissed her on the cheek, some embarrassment had set in.

"Thanks for that." He said politely.

She grinned self-consciously, "My pleasure… twice."

Chandler stretched out, tiredness was quickly setting in. Life was good, the worry had gone, he was lying naked with Monica whom he just given two orgasms, Rachel thought he was a fantastic lover… it just didn't get better.

"It was Paolo who gave the syphilis to Rachel by the way."

"Figures." Chandler murmured sleepily. Thank you Paolo, he thought.

"Why do guys always want to sleep after sex?"

"It's hard work."

"How did Janice take the news?"

"She was clear." He said without thinking.

Monica looked confused, "Is the clinic trying to track it down for you?"

Sleep was winning with Chandler. "What? No."

"Who did you get it from?"

Chandler needed peace, he was exhausted, happily exhausted but his body was telling him it was time for switch off, why did women want to talk? He dozed for a moment.

"Chandler!"

"What?"

"Who gave you syphilis?"

"Uhh? Oh Rachel, must have been Rachel."

He opened his eyes in alarm and replayed his last words, his hand went over his mouth and his eyes went up to Monica who was staring down at him.

"So in Rachel's dream, she saw your body exactly as it is, experienced sex with you, exactly as you perform, reached orgasm and even managed to give you syphilis?"

He was silent for a moment, he couldn't tell how she felt about it. "Yeah - I hope she dreams of me wearing a condom next time."

 

 

To be continued, if I get enough reviews, but assume nothing.