Platoniship

Part 4 and final part of the Hot Showers Series.

Disclaimer: I don't own them and I don't make any money out of them

 

By Daphne

 

Continues from Sense of Direction. I know, it's been a long time, so you may need to read the others again. This should probably have an NC-17 "mush" warning. This has been posted for a while on other sites but no chance to post here as it was down when I left.

 

Monica watched the door close behind Richard and glanced across at Chandler.

"You love me?" She asked him.

"Yeah." He replied softly. "I love Monica. I'm not scared of being in love with Monica. I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for Chandler?"

Chandler looked confused. "Anything, everything."

"You're sorry that we had sex?"

"Do you want me to be sorry we had sex?"

"I want to know what you're sorry for. You have to know what you're sorry for or you're not sorry. You're just saying sorry to get me to like you again."

Chandler looked worried. "I'm sorry for upsetting you?"

"And how do you think you upset me?"

"Can I ask a friend?"

"No Chandler. No jokes. You want me to treat you like a man. Behave like one."

"Alright you can treat me like a boy."

"I said no humour." Monica said firmly.

"Sorry." He looked at her nervously, desperate to crack another joke.

"Right, well, I'm waiting."

"I'm sorry that I tried to stop myself falling in love with you. I'm sorry that I got out of making love to you and treated you like a sex object to avoid falling in love with you and I'm sorry that I didn't stop when I knew that I was… I was… Am I allowed to give you a hug now?" He said hopefully.

He looked so contrite and uncomfortable that Monica relented. "Yeah you can hug me and tell me that you love me again."

He put his arms around her and kissed her hair. "I do love you. Please don't cut me out again Mon. I will mess up. I always mess up. You know that. Can't you just forgive me?"

She shook her head, moved away from him and sat down on the couch. "So that you can carry on treating me badly?"

"Just don't cut me out." He pleaded and sat down next to her putting both arms around her.

She looked down at him; he had rested his head against her belly like a small, lost boy. It reminded of her of a puppy she had had as a child. The more serious the offence the lower the little dogs head went.

She maternally kissed his hair. He needed to know, it was no good feeling sorry for him, he wasn't a little boy. He was a man who had abused her. "You made me feel like a whore. You didn't take me out, you ignored me when we weren't having sex and you went cold on me at the moment I most needed you to be warm and loving."

"I know." He turned and looked up at her. "But I didn't mean to do any of that. I was scared of being too close, but then I found out it was scarier to no longer have you."

She stroked his hair. "You want a different type of punishment? We could be Biblical. And eye for an eye. We could get you really well acquainted with Fred."

Chandler looked up at her in horror. "As in…?

"That not your thing? Well it wasn't mine. It seems only fair. All you have to do is make sure you don't seriously upset me again. "

"But I probably will." Chandler said miserably.

"And I want to see if we can have a relationship without sex."

"What?" He said startled. "No sex? No sex at all?" He sounded nervous again.

"That a problem?"

Chandler shook his head unconvincingly, "Just for a while right? Not forever? Just until I prove I want you even without the sex?" He checked.

"Yes. To see if there is more to this than sex."

He sat up. "I can still kiss you right?"

She nodded and he moved nervously towards her. Their lips slowly met and explored each other. His fingers started to run seductively up and down her spine. She abruptly pulled away.

"So it's no touching either?" He said disappointed.

"Too risky."

"I promise I won't push it further."

She smiled, "Yes but if you start doing that I'm gonna want you too."

"OK I'll be THE best boyfriend… in between screwing things up, but not actually screwing."

 

 

"Oh my God Monica you're not wearing that!" Rachel exclaimed.

Monica looked down at her dress. It was bright red, low cut and very short. "Too trashy?" She asked.

Joey swallowed. "It's fine if you want Chandler to have an erection the entire evening."

Rachel agreed. "That dress says "sleep with me". Go find another one."

Joey shook his head. "Hell no - if that dress says sleep with Rachel you keep it on!"

Monica looked coldly at Joey. "Can't you go and help Chandler get ready?"

"Phoebe's over there." Joey responded. He was amused at Monica going to so much trouble just for a date with Chandler.

Joey and Rachel sat and waited while Monica got changed. She came out with her hair tied back severely and wearing a very frumpy navy blue cotton dress that came passed her knees.

"What do you think? What does this dress say?" She asked them both.

"Sound of Music… nuns… you never want sex again." Rachel suggested. Monica disappeared and reappeared this time in a cream pant suit. She held her hands out for comments.

Rachel shook her head again. "You're on a first date with Chandler Bing. He will be dropping things all over you."

 

 

Across the hall Chandler jumped from one foot to the other as he held out two ties to Phoebe. "OK what about this one?"

Phoebe looked at it, dark pink with a pale lemon stripe. "What do you want it to say?" She asked.

"I know how to be romantic, I'm not a pervert. I don't need to have sex with you to want to be with you."

Phoebe considered. "That's a lot for a tie to say. But yeah I'd say that tie says "I'm not going to be demanding sex with Monica.""

"Really?" Chandler looked at it curious.

Phoebe nodded. "Yeah, yeah. It says I don't want sex with Monica because I'd far rather have sex with guys."

Chandler pulled a face and threw the tie across the room. "OK, what about this one?" He held out a red tie with splashes of yellow and green all over it.

"That one just says you have bad taste. But hell she already knows that."

Chandler disappeared to his closet again.

 

 

Monica had reached outfit number ten and was now wearing a black silk dress, sleeveless but with a high collar.

Rachel studied her carefully, "Yeah you look great in that, really great."

Joey shook his head. "Chandler doesn't like silk."

Monica looked at him in surprise. Joey shrugged. "Some childhood memory of his Dad I think. Silk and fishnet stockings - hates them."

"I'm gonna have to change my underwear as well then." Monica sighed.

Joey frowned. "But he isn't gonna see it."

Monica shook her head. "I'll know that he doesn't like my underwear and that will make me feel unattractive."

 

 

Chandler jumped around in nervous excitement. Time was running short. Phoebe was feeling sick just watching the constant movement.

"Do you need to go the bathroom Chandler?"

"No. Quick which cologne Pheebs?" He held out one and she sniffed it.

"Very animal that one." She told him, grateful that he at least had to stand still while the top was off the bottle.

Chandler grinned. "Yeah?" He started to put it on.

Phoebe nodded. "Yeah it smells like the cat that I based smelly cat on."

Chandler grimaced and rushed to the bathroom to wash it off.

 

 

Rachel beamed at Monica. "You look fantastic, doesn't she Joey?"

Joey nodded. Monica was now in a green jersey dress that hugged her figure, but was high at the neck. "Can't see the point if there's gonna be no sex. It's like having a meal but only being allowed to sniff it. And we'll all know whose to blame when he's bad tempered because he's not getting any. You saw him when he was trying to do without cigarettes, he's even worse when he's waiting for the chick he's dating to give him a milking." The girls looked at him in disgust. He shrugged. "Just telling you the facts."

"There's more to relationships than sex Joey." Rachel admonished him.

"What's that then?" Joey asked bewildered.

"Well there's companionship, affection, friendship …" Rachel told him.

"And how's that different to what they had before they started exercising together?" Joey enquired.

Rachel and Monica both looked confused.

"It's a platoniship. Ya know a committed exclusive relationship that is without the sex but is not platonic. A platoniship." Rachel explained.

Joey looked doubtful. "Is that even a real word?"

 

 

 

"Do I look OK Pheebs?" Chandler asked her worried.

Phoebe walked slowly round him. "Yeah, you look good. Let's see your nails?"

He held his hands out. "You brushed your teeth? Let me smell your breath?" He breathed on her and she smiled. "You've got nice breath, you smell good." Chandler smiled. Phoebe continued to look him up and down. "Have you masturbated this evening? We don't want… well ya know…"

"What!" He looked at her worried. "Does everyone know about the no sex agreement?"

Phoebe nodded. "Do I need to leave you alone for a few minutes to sort that out or have you already seen to it?"

He shrugged. "When I was in the shower."

She grinned back. "Good. Present for the lady?"

"Oh yeah." Chandler went to his brief case. He pulled out a very squashed bouquet. "Flowers!"

Phoebe looked at them sadly. "They were once weren't they?"

Chandler shrugged. "I didn't like to hold them openly, I felt a bit silly."

"And you feel less silly giving the girl you love a bunch of empty stalks."

"Do I need to go and buy chocolates?"

"She's been on a diet for years."

Chandler looked upset. "Well what do I do? I can't take her nothing."

Phoebe fished in her handbag. "Well maybe I have something." She pulled out a large rock. "The rock of Ishmarta."

Chandler looked at it doubtfully. "A stone!"

"Well what about…?" Phoebe pulled out a small velvet box. Chandler smiled and took it from her and opened it.

"Did you buy these for me to give to her?" He asked amazed.

"Yeah."

"Ah Pheebs." He kissed her cheek. "You're the greatest."

"I know. Now go be happy for me."

 

 

Joey, Rachel and Phoebe waved Monica off on their first date with silly grins on their faces.

and then returned to Monica's apartment just as Ross was coming up the stairs.

Rachel sighed. "Don't they looked cute?"

Ross was not so impressed. "Huh!"

Rachel closed the door and joined the others in the living room. "Chandler's going to be romantic and loving and prove to her he loves her before they sleep together. Isn't that sweet?"

Joey shook his head. "They're both too hot for each other for that to last."

Rachel tapped Joey on the arm. "OK. 20 dollars says that Chandler doesn't sleep…"

"Who said anything about them sleeping together?" Joey smirked.

"Alright, they don't have sex again for at least a month." Rachel corrected and held her hand out to Joey.

Joey shook it. "Right, done. I 'm guessing on less than a week, Phoebe?"

"I'll go for two weeks." Phoebe answered.

Ross shook his head. "You can't put wagers on how soon our best friend is going to have sex with my sister again. Shouldn't we all be helping them get back together if we can?"

Rachel shrugged, "So you don't want to put any money on this?"

"Oh no… have me down for never." Ross interrupted.

Rachel shook her head. "You can't have never. When do we pay out?"

Ross thought for a moment. "What's available then? More than five weeks, can I have more than five weeks then?"

The rest nodded.

Joey stood up. "Right. We have to have rules."

Phoebe smiled. "And I thought Monica was out with Chandler."

"What kinda rules Joey?" Rachel asked.

"Just so as no-one gives them a nudge to do it or not do it to win the bet." Joey said sternly.

The rest nodded.

Joey continued. "And as I'm the one who has to live with a frustrated Chandler, if they're not at it by the end of the month, and Ross has won his bet, we all have to help get them back down to business."

 

 

The restaurant was packed. Monica sat shyly opposite Chandler and he stared across at her in the dim light. And he couldn't think of a single thing to say to her. The more he searched for something the more the barriers came down. She stared at him expectantly.

He swallowed, he HAD to say something. "It smells nice in here, not of rats or anything..." He managed to get out.

She nodded. "Yeah, it's clean. At least it was when I worked here two years ago… before they fired me."

His face went white. "I thought it would be nice to surprise you, go somewhere we've not been as a group."

"Yeah. I certainly wasn't expecting to be brought here."

He shuffled and stared at his menu. "You're breasts look amazing in that dress." He looked around, oh my God had he just said that? "I meant your neck, not your breasts, I was looking at the menu and the chicken breasts and I got the word wrong and…"

"My breasts don't look good in this dress?"

"Well, yes, they do, but I wouldn't have noticed because I only want to talk and look at your eyes and… did you like the earrings?"

Monica smiled. "Yeah. Ya know most guys only think to give me flowers that have been squashed in their case all day. It was really thoughtful of you."

He smiled. "You're welcome. They go with your breasts… hell I meant eyes."

He grabbed his wine and downed the glass in one.

 

 

"What's the name of this movie?" Monica asked Chandler on their second date as they settled down in their seats.

"I tried to get that Tom Hanks romantic one you wanted but it was sold out. Anyways this sounded like your sort of thing, something to do with a crush."

"It's that what it's called then, "Crush"?"

"Yeah look." He handed her the tickets but she couldn't quite read them in the dark until the adverts started and threw some lights around the cinema.

"I think it says "Crash" not "Crush". I heard of this movie somewhere." She said thinking.

Chandler froze in his seat, the reviews of "Crash" thudding into his brain. "Sick Hollywood porn" was how his mother had described it. His father had been even more enthusiastic.

Chandler leaned over Monica nervously. "Crash", you sure it says "Crash"?

 

 

 

Monica was home before eleven and Rachel had only just gone to bed. She got up when she heard Monica and went out to the living room to greet her friend. "Movie good?"

"I have no idea." Monica smiled. "Chandler insisted on kissing me the entire movie. I tried coming up for air a couple of times but he just pulled me back down and he had this strange way of kissing where he kept both his hands over my ears so I couldn't hear much either. But it looked pretty dull, just about a couple who had really bad luck and kept seeing car crashes and then she got really scared and had breathing problems every time she saw a crash - well that's as far as I could make out." She sighed. "But he didn't grope me at all. Do you think he's gone off me?"

Rachel looked at her alarmed. "Monica! You and I agreed that you have to keep this as a platoniship for at least a month if you and he are to have a chance."

"I know. But with him kissing me and remembering the fun we had I could really do with sneaking over there. It won't really do any harm will it?"

Rachel tutted. "Yes Monica. You need to form a good foundation for your relationship."

"You didn't do that with Paolo. And how quickly did you and Ross start having sex?"

"Ross doesn't try to stick it up my ass!"

"I know. I should be sensible but right now I'm so horny I'd even consider that. Do you have any lubricant? I doubt it would be as painful the second time, not if I got him to go slow and…"

"Monica!"

Monica whined. "I'm horny Rachel, really horny."

Rachel went to her room and came back with a large paper bag. "I guessed you might get a bit weak so I got you one of Nora Bing's books, and a new vibrator."

Monica took her presents. "Wow Rachel you really are a great friend."

Rachel shrugged. "I know. I just want you to be happy." She turned and went back to her room with a smug smile on her face.

 

 

Three weeks later Ross arrived at Joey's to go to the game. Chandler was not back from work, and Ross caught Joey looking at Playboy.

"Have you seen the woman on page 49?" Ross asked, forgetting for the minute that he shouldn't admit to looking at Playboy.

Joey nodded, "I was looking at her. Oh my God! Is she ready for it? Hey I thought you were too intellectual to look at this stuff?"

"I was told it had an article in it that I should see." Ross said pompously.

Joey looked again at the pictures. "And you don't even notice the hot chicks with no clothes on?" He paused to look at the woman again.

"Can you imagine a woman posing like that?" Ross said looking over Joey's shoulder.

"You don't have to imagine! She clearly gets off on it."

Rachel and Phoebe breezed in, Rachel frowned when she saw what they were looking at and pretended to ignore it. "Do either of you have any cash? Phoebe and I forgot to get any and we promised Monica we'd go out."

Ross raised an eyebrow. "She wants you out, and she knows we're out?" He pulled a face, "After his dating record she's gonna let him back after 3 weeks? Who had 3 weeks?"

Rachel frowned. "No-one. Phoebe had 2 and I had 4." Rachel had given up, she had spent the last 3 weeks almost permanently plotting to stop Monica sneaking over to Chandler and she couldn't be bothered any longer, at least this week she wouldn't actually lose money on the horny little slut.

Phoebe looked over Joey's shoulder, "Is that woman about to give birth or something? "

"I think it's about nine months before that." Rachel commented now looking at the picture too. As Joey went to turn over Rachel stopped him. "She kinda looks familiar."

"Yeah?" He said excitedly, "Can you introduce me?"

Phoebe frowned. "But you can't see her face."

Joey shrugged. "Who cares, you can see just about everything else."

"Yeah but just look at those old crow feet." Rachel said and then gasped. "It's Monica, those feet, it's Monica!"

Ross made a face. "No! Monica would never pose like that."

They all stared at the photos in disbelief only distracted when Chandler entered whistling happily. He had an idea he might be back in tonight. He had heard the rest were going out and he had a feeling that it was Rachel who had been stopping Monica. "You guys going to the game?" Four heads turned in accusation. Chandler looked confused, then saw what Joey was looking at and made a grab for the magazine.

"Oh no, no, no, nooo. Oh Jesus who sent the letter? I trashed the letter. I'm sure I trashed the letter."

Joey paused and grinned. "That letter you wrote to Playboy? I found it in the garbage. It had a stamp and everything so I thought it got there by mistake. Don't go blaming me. I thought it was one of your lame jokes. Jesus if I'd known what it contained I would have opened it."

Rachel looked at Chandler in amazement. "She'll kill you. Monica will actually kill you."

Joey nodded back towards the magazine. "Do you have any other photos Chandler?"

Chandler was white and shaking.

Ross put his head in his hands. "Jesus Chandler I need a shower, how could you do that to me? Oh my God! Dad buys Playboy, I gotta stop Dad seeing this!" He stormed out, passing Monica on the way.

"I thought you were going to the game?" She looked from one face to the other, no-one quite knowing where to look, apart from Joey, who had a dirty smirk on his face. "Do I have a bogey or something? Chandler what' ya hiding behind your back?"

Phoebe, Joey and Rachel all quickly and quietly sidled out of the apartment.

"Well?" Monica asked looking at Chandler, "What have you done that sends my brother off in that state and most of my friends can't look at me?"

"Ya know when I said I was gonna mess up a lot?" Chandler began. Monica nodded.

"Well I think I messed up big time. Big, big time. Rachel thought you would want to kill me. I'm not sure you're gonna let me off that easily. But in my defence it was Joey who sent them off. They were in an envelope in the garbage and Joey sent them off. I was thinking of sending them off when you went on that date with Richard… and you never actually said not to, you were just worried about your feet and your butt and…."

Monica went white then red. "The photos, you're talking about the photos aren't you? Oh my God you're talking about the photos? Tell me Joey didn't see them, oh Jesus tell me that Ross didn't see them, please tell me no-one saw them?"

Chandler was very aware of his heart pounding against his chest. "On the bright side Ross is on his way to your Dad's so that your Dad doesn't see them."

A horrible thought occurred to her. "Give me whatever it is behind your back Chandler."

He sheepishly handed her the magazine. "Page 49," he said quietly. "I love you Monica, before you look at page 49 can I just say that I love you and respect you as a human being and…"

As she studied page 49 Monica was so angry she could hardly speak. "This is your idea of showing me respect? Could you at least have chosen ones that didn't make my feet look like plates of meat. You do know what guys do with these magazines? Why don't you just make me wear a sign with "Slut" on it in big letters?" She burst into tears. Chandler went to put his arms around her but she angrily pushed him away and left without another word. Chandler stood rooted to the spot for a long time, staring at the door she had just walked out of.

 

 

 

Rachel and Phoebe were waiting for Monica in her apartment. She fell into their arms and sobbed. "Why did I have to fall in love with an immature bastard?"

"It's either that or be a lesbian." Phoebe told her.

Rachel patted her back. "I think it was a genuine mistake. You know how you write an angry letter sometimes then throw it away. I think that's what he did only Joey sent it."

"At least you don't have any cellulite." Phoebe said in an effort to reassure her.

Rachel pulled away to look into Monica's eyes. "She's right you hardly need any airbrushing. You look good. Chandler's not a bad photographer. I know they're intimate and it was clear that he took them when you were pretty heated up but it's not like you look bad. And many of the famous actresses have been photographed like that at some time, it doesn't mean people respect them less. It's only a body, a good body. You can't see your face. Won't it be good to think of all those guys getting turned on by you? And when you're old and flabby and your boobs are doubling up as knee pads it will be nice to look back and know how hot you once were."

Phoebe nodded in agreement, "And boy if he turns you on as much as those photos suggest you're going to have to forgive him at some point. It's just not possible to stay away from a guy that you're lusting after that much."

Rachel looked to see Monica's reaction to that, she was dabbing her eyes. "But I want to humiliate him first, like he humiliated me."

Rachel put her arms around Monica again. "He's always humiliating himself. I don't think it would be difficult to do that. But I really think he's sorry. If you're going to have a relationship with him you're going to have to forgive him. If you try to get back at him it will solve nothing."

Monica nodded, "I know, I just want revenge."

"Let's have a girls night tonight. You can tell us every little intimate detail about him if you like, get hammered and have fun. That sound good?"

Chandler came sheepishly through the door. Monica buried her face in Rachel.

"Can you tell Monica, I'm sorry, really, really, sorry?" He asked Rachel.

Rachel nodded, "She heard you."

He left and Phoebe stared after him. "So come on what's he weird about? Does he like you dominating him or what?"

Monica smiled for the first time. Phoebe and Monica sat on the couch and Rachel joined them with wine and glasses.

"He's a voyeur." Monica told them. "Likes watching, watching."

Rachel smiled, "Yeah? What else…?"

"He's not much good at oral, as soon as I start on him I get no more action." Monica told them.

Phoebe nodded in sympathy. "You should rub his nose in it."

"Like a bad dog?" Monica asked, startled.

"You never done that? You get him on his back, go nose to tail then kneel over his head so that it is underneath and between your legs then you can blow him and bring yourself down over his mouth for him to return the favour. That way when he gets carried away you can just sit on him as a reminder and if he's really left the planet you can rub yourself off against his nose."

Monica took another glass of wine. "Is that why you always go out with guys with big noses?"

Rachel held her glass out. "I tried that once. The only problem is I'm a little out of control when I come. I nearly suffocated Ross."

Phoebe shrugged. "If you asked any guy how he would like to go that would be right up there at number one."

Rachel giggled. "Yeah but how would I tell his Mom?"

Monica smirked as she thought about what Phoebe was suggesting. "At that angle don't you gag on him?"

"If he's big. Is Chandler big then?" Phoebe asked.

"And he'd get quite a view!" Monica exclaimed and then blushed as she remembered that they'd all seen the view that he'd be getting.

"Any more problems?" Rachel asked.

Monica flushed again. "He likes watching me masturbate. Is that perverted or should I let him?"

Rachel was startled. "Wow you let him watch you? I never even admitted to Ross that I knew how to."

Phoebe agreed. "Yeah Monica, guys aren't suppose to know that we do that. It makes them think we need sex."

Monica looked confused. "But we do."

"Yeah but if they know that we get as desperate as they do they won't do all those silly things in an effort to get us into bed." Phoebe told her.

Rachel nodded. "You kinda let the side down there Monica. Just so long as he doesn't know you have a vibrator." Monica looked guiltily down at her hands.

The door opened again and the girls all looked up, angry at being disturbed. It was Joey.

"Monica, do you think I can have my Playboy back now please?"

 

 

 

 

It was past midnight when Monica quietly made her way to the guys' apartment. She silently entered Chandler's room. The light from the door showed that he was asleep, curled up in the foetal position. There were tissues all around his bed and she could see that he had been crying, his eyelids were red and puffy and his skin was streaked. She paused when she saw it, surprised. Even in his sleep he still sniffed occasionally.

"Monica?" He called out, sensing her presence.

She sat down next to him. He sat up. "Why are you here?"

Monica stared at him. "I was going to attack you with Fred and the camera." She put them down on his nightstand.

Chandler eyed them nervously, "And now?"

"You've been crying?" She asked him.

"I feel like a complete shit."

"Now you've made me feel bad. How can I get revenge on someone who has been crying over what they did?"

He sat up and put his arms around her and felt a wave or relief when she didn't push him away. "You got your revenge when you started crying. I have never felt so bad in my entire life. Even Thanksgiving was better than seeing you so hurt."

She smiled, "We'd better comfort each other then."

Chandler looked at her surprised. "You wanna get into bed?"

Monica nodded, "Just for a cuddle. I think we both need a cuddle."

"OK then. He held her against him enjoying the warmth of her and the smell of her but mostly just enjoying the fact that she was with him and seemed to have forgiven him. He thought he had lost her for good, even as a friend.

"Did you really put the photos in the garbage?" She asked him quietly.

"Yeah. I was angry and jealous. You were out with Richard, without a bra on. But I then I thought how mean it was so I trashed them, long before you got home from your date."

"It's been nice this month. I was thinking, you've been really nice this month, loving and tender and we've had fun. We had a good month."

He looked at her nervously. "We had a few disastrous dates."

She grinned. "MOST of them would count as disastrous. Are your dates always so full of incident?"

He nodded. "Yeah, things never quite go to plan."

"Now I know why you preferred to stay in."

"Did you get the wine out of the pant suit?"

"No. But the blood came out of my white shirt." She said brightly.

"What about the oil from the purse?"

"No the purse had to be thrown out too... I enjoyed the concert."

Chandler looked at her sceptically. "Yeah? Andy Williams with zimmer frame your sort of thing?"

"It was different. Well different to the Nine Inch Nails concert you told me we were going to."

"It wasn't my fault. I'm sure when I booked the tickets…"

She put her finger on his lips. "It doesn't matter. I just feel sorry for that old couple you gave the "Andy Williams" tickets to."

She started to laugh and he joined her. She held him tighter. "We've been good together, even without the sex?"

His laughter stopped. Having Monica that close, but not accessible, together with the memories of the sex they had had, it had been torture. He had been so horny that he couldn't concentrate at work.

She looked up at him as he didn't answer. "Are you happy continuing without sex?"

"If that's what you want." At least she wanted to continue, live with that for now he thought.

"So you don't want to have sex with me?" She demanded with irritation in her voice.

"What? Of course I want to but I don't want to push things if you don't want to."

He jumped slightly as she unexpectedly ran her fingers down the swelling in his boxers.

"Sorry, it just gets like that when you're nearby." He apologized.

She surprised him by reaching up and kissing him. It was slow and gentle. They were both content with the feeling of their mouths against each other, his hands very tentatively holding her.

She leaned back down in the bed. "Ya know I was thinking, there are a few other things we need to resolve before we go back to having sex."

"You don't need to worry about that, I'll be really careful…"

Monica shook her head. "I wasn't meaning that but… we have to be honest, do you really want to do.. that again?"

Chandler shifted uneasily.

Monica sighed at his lack of an answer. "Well I guess that answers my question."

"It doesn't mean I will or even try to or that I meant it to happen before," Chandler added anxiously, "I don't want to hurt you or upset you, but there are ways I think… I spoke to this guy at work…"

"You spoke to a guy at work about having anal sex with me?" Monica sat up.

Chandler pulled her down. "No there was just this conversation about it at lunch."

"Wow - there must have helped the digestion."

"A couple of the guys do it on a regular basis."

"With women?"

"Yeah."

"What is it about it?" Monica was curious.

"There's the physical sensation which is good, then there is the feeling that it is slightly dirty and wrong..."

"Yeah, doesn't it disgust you I mean.. that's a waste pipe...?"

"I love you, nothing that is part of your body disgusts me. I want to worship all of you."

"You saying that you want anal sex with me because you love me?!" She grinned. "Nice try, but you don't expect me to buy that one. Come on be honest what else?"

"You're quite bossy and most of the time I like that, even in bed, but to have you like that puts me in control. I don't want to hurt you but it's nice to have you that submissive under me."

Monica was quiet. "That was honest, thank you for being honest." She grinned, "Now about these voyeuristic tendencies of yours."

"You want me to stop?"

"No - I love it…" She paused and put her hand to his face. "Do you want to go take a shower with me?"

Chandler nodded and smiled, she had forgiven him everything. A new start. He pulled his T-shirt and boxers off as she removed her clothes. Then he kissed her, starting with her mouth, he moved around to her neck and down her shoulders and arms and all the way to her fingertips, which he sucked one by one.

"That's nice," She murmured contentedly . "I thought we were gonna take a shower."

"Will you promise to wash me again like you did the first time?"

She smiled. "Yeah I'll wash you. I only did it that time to punish you: to get you back for pretending not to want me."

He grinned back at her. "Now there's a punishment I can live with."

He took her by the hand and led her to the bathroom.

"Is Joey asleep?" She asked, suddenly worried.

"I'll lock the door." He turned and shut them in whilst she ran the shower.

They stepped into the shower together naked, holding hands. She smiled down at the barrier his body had created between them.

"Soap?" She asked and he passed her the bar. He accommodated her hands working over his body, holding his arms up or bending to allow her to clean him. There was something relaxing and soothing about letting her wash him. She paid particular attention to his penis this time as if to get reacquainted with it after so long an absence. He tried to hold out but eventually he had to kiss her. They were silent as they kissed, with only their mouths moving as the water snaked its away over them and between them. They both closed their eyes to stop it stinging and carried on kissing. Silently he took the soap from her and started to clean her. He did it as efficiently as she had, not missing any part of her, but still he kissed her until the water started to go cold. At last she pulled away, turned the water off, and stared into his eyes, his lashes stuck together in clumps and the water still streamed out of his hair.

"I never told you that I love you too." She said at last. He smiled and kissed her briefly again.

Her eyes drifted down to his penis. "All this month, what have you been doing about relieving it?"

He frowned, "Usual stuff."

"And what did you think about as you did it?" She probed, knowing he was uncomfortable.

If he answered "her" would that mean that he was thinking of her only as a sex object again? But if he didn't answer "her" that too was unlikely to please her. A no win question.

"Data processing." He answered eventually.

Her eyes registered her surprise.

He smiled. "It delays it, builds it up to make the finale better. Have you managed without?"

"I can do without." She said, and stepped out of the shower. She sighed and looked around for a towel. "Why can't you keep towels in here?" She said annoyed.

"Joey would use them all and leave them on the floor."

She walked out naked to his bedroom and lay down wet on the bed. He followed her, grabbed towels for them both and threw her one, staring down at her.

She started to dry herself and felt the familiar tingle as his eyes feasted on her. She parted her legs slightly to dry between them and looked up and watched him drying his own genitals as he watched her.

"You didn't need to masturbate?" He asked in disbelief.

She shook her head. "No. I only did that stuff because you wanted to see it."

Chandler grinned in disbelief. "OK, OK, I masturbated and Rachel helped me out." She finally admitted without thinking and then realised the other possible meaning of what she said.

He threw his own towel down and joined her on the bed. He lay on his front and stroked her face, he planted a paternal kiss on her forehead. "If you tease I'll assume you want to play games. Tonight, after all that has happened you want to make love don't you?" She nodded. "Well don't lie there rubbing your towel between your legs hinting that you and Rachel go down on each other…. You don't by the way, do you?"

She shook her head. "She bought me one of your Mom's books, and a new Fred, that's what I meant."

Chandler smiled. "Wow. She was keen to keep you away from me."

He kissed her again and very gently moved on top of her. He took things slowly, relishing the sensation of their legs entwining and her body rubbing and slipping beneath his. He pushed gently and watched her face contort with pleasure as they joined. He stared into her eyes and actually enjoyed watching the woman he knew so well stare back at him right into his soul. Making love to Monica, the woman who was already his best friend, was not going to be so difficult. The two Monicas had at last merged into one. He kissed her mouth, opening it up and pushing his tongue against hers and massaging it. He pushed again with his hips and her body pulled and massaged him. It was Monica who started to increase the pace, pressing up against him, her urgency and need controlling her. He went with it and sped up as she sped up until they were both shaking and gasping.

They kissed and their mouths locked together in passion. He felt the drowning that he had experienced the first time and had since shied away from. The smell of her, her shampoo, the soap and the more pungent aroma of her sex filled his nostrils. She seemed to be absorbing him into her. Her arms were around him and her legs were bent double around his waist, her body was pulling him in and demanding more from him. But instead of worrying about the intimacy he found himself worrying about the inevitable separation. The moment he would have to become one person again. If he could have climbed into her he would have. He rested further down on top of her so that the whole of his body was pressed up against hers and he could feel even more or her skin against his. He held out until she was on the edge, then he let himself go to his instincts. Her body seemed to open up even more to him and he eagerly went further into her. As his release started his eyes stared into hers as they both shuddered and gasped. At the last moment he pulled out of her and let his semen shoot out over her. Her eyes widened in surprise and watched it.

When it finished he lay next to her panting. She grabbed some tissues to wipe herself down. "Why did you do that?" She asked him, curious.

He shifted his head round to look at her. "The shower, the new beginning. The first time we had sex I had never felt as close to anyone and that's what scared me. I'm not scared any more."

"So it was symbolic?"

He grinned into her eyes. "Oh Jesus." She thought, "With a smile like that I'm gonna forgive him anything. There again I'll probably need to."

He very gently kissed her. He checked she was clean of him then and then started to suckle on her neck and collar bone in pure post-coital bliss like he had never before experienced.

"Chandler?" She called to him moving her head from one side to the other to accommodate his caresses.

"MMm." He murmured. He could feel his penis rising up again. He was in heaven. He suckled her further down and reaching her breasts he pulled one nipple into his mouth.

"That was nice." She sighed.

"Mmmm." He released the nipple and went across to the other.

"I liked it like that." She looked down at him caressing her. "But next time you want to go for symbolism, can it be less messy?"

"MMMmmm." He pulled at the nipple and watched it peak, then ran his tongue down her chest to her navel. He prodded it gently with his tongue. Then pulled away and gazed at her.

She smiled and pointed to lower down on her stomach. "You ignored that bit." He kissed her there. "And that bit there." She pointed to her side. He kissed it, then moved his head lower and ran his tongue up the inside of her thighs.

She squirmed. "Oohh yeah, that bit was definitely feeling left out. Chandler?"

He glided gently up and down her inner thighs with his tongue. She tasted amazing. "Mmmm?"

"You have a nice nose."

"All the better to smell you with my dear."

"Chandler?"

"Mmmm?"

"You have a nice mouth."

"All the better to eat you with my dear."

"That's right. Lie on your back."

He came up from her thighs. "Uh?"

"Lie on your back like a good boy."

He looked at her nervously, but did as he was told. He didn't regret it. The view was amazing.

 

 

There is a stand-alone ready for posting if I get enough reviews and can find a computer.