Crushed

Disclaimer: I don't own them, make money out of them or expect this to happen on the show.

Season 4. Joey is dating Kathy. (I know - again! - but Season 4 Chandler has to be the best vintage yet.)

 

"You're going to have to tell him." Rachel groaned, fed up with the now daily grumbling from Monica.

"No. I can't, I laughed at him when he suggested it, now he's all obsessed with Kathy he'll do the same to me."

"You'll be doing him a favor, this obsession with Kathy is bound to lead to problems."

"But that doesn't mean he even thinks of me in that way any more."

"I still don't understand what changed things from being the Chandler that you laughed at, to Chandler that you have such a crush on that you can't sleep."

"He's tanned, and his hair is all blonde at the front and he just looks… You blow hot and cold on Ross."

"Lucky Ross." Chandler commented strolling through the door.

The girls both looked with a question mark at each other wondering how much he had heard, not much they quickly decided. Rachel nudged her and went to her room.

Monica sidled up to him as he stole food from her fridge. "You doing anything today Chandler?"

"Nope. A whole day of Playstation. Joey's with Kathy all day, and night." He added glumly and frowned at the cheese he was eating." Didn't I tell you to get the one with the garlic in it, much better. What's the fun in stealing your food if you don't buy me the right type?"

"Do you want to come shopping with me?" Monica asked him.

Chandler shrugged, "A whole day playing games, or being dragged around 50 different stores until you find the right outfit in exactly the right color and then the right shoes. There's a tough one. Let me see, I think the games win."

Monica frowned. "We don't have to shop for clothes. We could get you a new game."

"Yeah right. Like that would take five minutes. Go to shop. Pick up Tekken 3, pay, leave shop and come home. Not really a days activities."

"We could have lunch. I'll pay." She tried not to sound too desperate.

Chandler grabbed some more cheese. "Why would we want to go out for lunch? I prefer your cooking to any restaurant. Right I have stuff to do. I have a universe to save."

He picked up the remaining cheese and sauntered out.

Rachel re-emerged from the bedroom. "Jesus Monica that was a poor effort. Even Gunther could have seduced him better than that."

"Do you think I should go over there and play with him? Games I mean. I could play him at foosball."

"No. You always win, guys don't like that, makes them feel inadequate."

"I could let him win."

"You could never let anyone win! And even if you did he'd think you wannna borrow money."

"How about I ask if I can use his shower because we are de-scaling ours and not close the door properly?"

Rachel smiled. "Now that could work!"

Monica looked shy. "Don't you think it's a bit, well ya know…?"

"Monica, you're going to have to be a bit, ya know. He's oblivious at the moment. Despite all your hints, he hasn't noticed."

Monica grabbed her towel and shampoo. "Right wish me luck!"

Rachel smiled, "And if you're not back in an hour I won't bother with the search party." She winked at Monica.

Chandler was already on the Playstation. "Hey. You going swimming?"

Monica shifted awkwardly. "We're cleaning our shower and I was wondering, would you mind if I used yours?"

Chandler smiled. "Yeah of course."

Monica disappeared into the bathroom. She re-emerged twenty minutes later. Chandler was still on the Playstation game. "This is my highest ever score!" He told her excitedly.

"Great. Really great. Thanks for letting me use the bathroom."

"Did you clean it?"

"Of course. Did you know your tiles were white?"

Chandler shrugged. "Always thought they were speckled grey."

 

Rachel was waiting for Monica expectantly. "Well does Ross have to play the protective brother?"

"He didn't even notice! He just played on his crappy game. All those times I couldn't get a boyfriend I always thought that if the worst came to the worst there would always be Chandler. But I can't even get Chandler. Are you busy tonight Rachel?"

Rachel considered, she had a date, but Monica looked really crushed. She needed her so, hell, some guy could wait. "Nah do you want to go out and get hammered?"

"You bet."

 

It wasn't very late when the two girls got back, but they had both realized that the goal for the evening had been achieved and it was time to get home before they crashed out.

Neither of them seemed to be able to get their keys in the lock, and after much giggling they knocked on Chandler's door.

They both sniggered when they saw him, they had clearly got him out of bed.

"Mussh too difficult." Monica slurred holding her key up. "Need help."

Chandler scratched his head. "Drunk?"

"Really? Me too." Monica giggled.

"I think she's gonna need help getting her into bed." Rachel told him, only a little more sober than her friend. Monica nudged her in the ribs and giggled again.

"Shouldn't you do that?" Chandler suggested to Rachel.

Rachel giggled. "I can't undress another woman, what would Joey and Oliver think?"

"Oliver? Who the hell is Oliver?" Chandler asked.

Rachel looked bewildered. "I can't remember. Can you remember who Oliver is Monica?"

"It was that guy who thought we were…" Monica finished her sentence by whispering in Rachel's ear and they both collapsed into fits of giggles again.

Chandler frowned. "OK, OK, I'll help you two to settle down for the night."

He opened their apartment and gave Monica an arm. "I can't remember ever seeing you this bad. Guy problems?"

Monica hiccuped. "Yeah I don't have one. Can I borrow you?"

"Can we both borrow you? " Rachel asked only to be met by a stony glare from Monica. "OK Monica only kidding. "

Monica put her finger to her lips, "Sssshhhhhh! He'll hear you."

Chandler smiled, but had no idea what they were really talking about. "Yeah, seeing as I'm nearer you than her."

Rachel waved, "Right I'm off, be good. Night, night Chan, Chan man."

"Chan, Chan man?" Chandler grimaced and then had to catch Monica. "Come on, bathroom woman. I'll wait outside."

"Can't you help me with my teeth? I don't think I'm gonna be able to find my teeth." Monica pleaded.

"They're inside your mouth."

"Where's that then?" She looked at him innocently.

Chandler found himself putting his finger to her mouth. She bit lightly down on it then ran her tongue round it seductively before she took it fully into her mouth and sucked down on it staring straight into his eyes.

Chandler yanked it away quickly. "Oooo Kay! Let me clean your teeth."

He made quite an efficient job of it in the circumstances and then he carefully got her make up remover and removed that for her whilst she calmly looked up at him with trusting eyes.

He cleared his throat. "You need to go the bathroom?"

She shook her head. "Right well we can get you to bed and let Rachel in."

"Thanks Chandler."

"No problem. Makes up for all the cooking. But don't make a habit out of this will you? It doesn't suit you." He said sternly.

Monica looked sad, almost as if she was going to cry. She didn't speak until Chandler sat her on her bed. "Are you cross with me?" She asked him.

He looked with concern into her sad face, the tears almost spilling over her eyes. "No Mon. Just, ya know, its not good to get drunk, guys take advantage."

Her sad face evaporated instantly and she gave him a big cheeky grin. "I wish!" She said. "Would you like to take advantage of me?"

Chandler ignored the question.

Monica sighed. "You see even Chandler doesn't want me any more."

She started pulling her clothes off.

Chandler averted his eyes. "You OK now? I'll…I'll… go get you some water and a bucket and leave you to sleep this off." He stammered.

Monica sighed again. "I can't sleep in my bra and I can't get it off." She tugged at the straps to demonstrate.

Chandler looked nervously into her face. "You want me take your bra off?"

Monica grinned at him and nodded.

"I can't do that Mon."

"Meanie."

"I'm not being mean. You would be embarrassed in the morning and I couldn't take your bra off without wanting to…"

Monica giggled. "What Chandler? What would you want to do?" She pushed the straps of her bra down. "Just the hooks and then it would drop Chandler."

He stared at her mesmerized and put his hand up to her breasts, but before he touched her his hand dropped and he looked down ashamed.

"I really have to go now." He said, but didn't move.

"You think that this is just because I'm horny and drunk?" She asked him.

"Isn't it?"

"I showered in your apartment today with the door open and you got the high score on your stupid Playstation game." He looked up at her sharply. "Ask Rachel." She added. "Why do you really think she left you to get me undressed?"

He didn't say another word, just reached round to undo her bra, but failed, his hands were fumbling too much. So she calmly pushed him away and undid it herself.

"Oh Jesus Monica!" He said as he looked at her for the first time. She swung the bra round and flung it on the floor. A tiny sober part of her wanted to pick it up but she buried that thought and reached out, grabbed a condom from her nightstand and tossed it to him.

"I bought them a couple of months ago for you. But you played hard to get. But I got you now haven't I?"

"Jesus Mon, you got me now, you've really got me now!" He reached out and tugged her panties down. "We need to finish getting you undressed." He explained and then tore his own clothes off.

She smiled when she saw his very erect penis. "And I didn't think you cared!"

He tentatively reached out his lips to her. Then pulled away a little alarmed. "You're not gonna heave on me are ya?"

"Nah, I may drool a little."

"Drooling's good. You're allowed to drool over me."

His mouth started to explore hers, his tongue slipped inside and tasted the wine she had been drinking and then his hands touched the breasts that pushed up against him.

"You're leaking on my leg Chandler."

"Yeah I wonder why that is."

He took one of the condoms she had bought him and rolled it on.

"I'm leaking too." She grinned back him. "You wanna feel?" She took his hand and put it to her. He responded by gently probing and caressing her.

"You are horny aren't you?" He said amazed.

"I've got it really bad. Mmmm just there, keep rubbing there. I like that."

"Monica do you want to date or is this just to save you money on batteries?"

"I wanna date. Is that OK?"

"That's OK. Not that I mind helping you budget."

"Yeah next time I offer to take you out to lunch: you come!"

Chandler smiled, realization dawned. "I think I'm gonna come a long time before lunch tomorrow."

He rubbed his legs over hers and mounted her gently dropping himself down between her legs. "I can't believe you want this." He said kissing her again and leaning his elbows either side of her shoulders.

"Just get on with it Bing."

He entered her easily and caught his breath, closed his eyes and pushed again.

"Good?" She asked him watching his face.

"You feel incredible."

"I know." She said immodestly and tightened her muscles around him and gently massaged him. "Even better?"

He grimaced and nodded and kept pushing. The bed started to squeak and knock against the wall. The knocking got quicker and louder, neither of them noticed.

"You keep doing that and I'm gonna last all of 2 minutes." He told her, his own orgasm building alarmingly quickly.

She moaned and squirmed. "That's about a minute too long."

He groaned in relief and went for it, rubbing his whole body up against her every time he thrust. She was flush and panting.

"Oooohh Chandler!"

He held her and kissed her as she thrashed around under him and then needed her to do the same for him as he came with a deep cry loud enough to tell Rachel that Monica wouldn't be grumbling in the morning.

 

 

Monica woke up and frowned. Her head felt like someone was trying to pothole through it and her mouth was so dry her tongue had stuck to the sides of it. She groaned and rolled over and into Chandler, who was already awake. He kissed her gently and smiled. She sat bolt upright with her sheet pulled over her.

"Oh my God, what are you doing here?" She asked with a look of horror on her face.

Chandler looked terrified. "You, you said you wanted me…" He stuttered nervously.

"You took advantage of me when I was drunk!" She said outraged.

Chandler went into speech over drive. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, but you convinced me that it wasn't just because you were drunk and Rachel…"

Monica could hold out no longer and grinned at him and kissed him on the nose. "Kidding! Now go get me some water and a headache pill."

Chandler sighed in relief and collapsed on the bed still shaking.