Anniversary

By Daphne

Monica and Chandler's first wedding anniversary. My thanks to Mrs Robinson for helping me gets the facts right and to Jjaks for ensuring that the language was American and it had a male spin on it.

 

Monica fumbled with her key as Chandler stood behind her kissing her neck and running his hands up and down her body making her shiver. "Chandler!" Her complaint came out half drunken giggle, half moan. "We're an old married couple now. You're not supposed to want me this bad."

"Oooh you're not bad enough." He responded sucking on her ears. He stumbled as she fell through the door as her key finally worked. He untangled one arm from her to push the door closed behind them and stopped her putting the light on. "I've been wanting you since the entrée." He murmured as he grabbed her again and the two of them breathlessly started to kiss.

"I know." She gasped as he pushed the straps of her dress down and kissed the mounds of flesh that pushed their way up and out of her dress. "I had to wait for you to drink two coffees before your boner relaxed enough for us to leave the restaurant, remember?"

"Not my fault, your foot kept running up my thighs… and other places."

She froze. "That wasn't MY foot." She told him sternly.

He paused what he was doing and peered at her horrified through the darkness. Then just as suddenly he chuckled. "I know your big feet. Jeez they jabbed me in bed enough times."

"Got you worried though didn't I?" She teased him and kissed him hard running her hands up under his shirt over his chest and through the light covering of hair. She pulled one and he yelped.

He broke away. "Yeah you got me worried and if you wanna make this rough I can pull hair too." He told her. He put his hand up her skirt and pulled at her underwear to find his revenge.

"Don't rip them." She whispered between kisses that were getting steamier.

"What? Your panties?"

"Yeah. Joey gave them to us for our anniversary. I think they were expensive."

"Joey? Joey bought them? Joey bought us panties? How come you got to wear them first?" He said and listened to the music of her drunken giggles. His hands fumbled to pull her panties down and out of the way of his impatient fingers. "Well couldn't he have got ones with easy access sides or something?" He paused. " Hell are they crotchless? Did you wear crotchless panties to dinner? Joey is the best friend I ever had."

"Hmmmm." She murmured popping the button on his pants and gently running the zipper down. "And no bra."

"I noticed the sag." She hit him and he groaned as he pushed her onto the floor and unzipped her dress.

"Chandler - bedroom."

"Monica - balcony…. "

"Not that again."

"OK - look, marriage is about compromise…" He squirmed as Monica's fingers ran gently over the head of his penis. "Ooooh that feels so good. What was I saying?"

"You were groaning and saying something about compromise."

"I was talking politics? Hell no, you have anything and everything you want, just keep touching me like that."

"You're so easy. What sort of compromise were you going to suggest?"

"On the bedroom/ balcony debate….mmmm, oh yeah…. How abouts we do it on the bedroom window ledge?" They both giggled again and then froze as a nervous group of friends and relations came out of their embarrassed silence to turn on the light and say the word that they should have said as soon as the couple had arrived back. "SURPRISE!!"

Monica snatched her hand from Chandler pants and they both peered up at the gathered crowd of their four friends, Monica's parents and people from both the restaurant and Chandler's work. In all there were around 30 people standing not a few feet from them.

Chandler wasn't sure what he should do. If he climbed off Monica before he calmed down he was going to expose himself, big time, plus he was pretty sure that he had made a damp patch on his pants. But lying between his wife's legs with her dress barely covering her breasts or legs did not seem an option either. He glanced down at Monica, who had gone white, then up at his mother-in-law.

"Good Evening Mom. What a great surprise." He said politely, with an embarrassed waver in his voice, as he tugged her daughter's dress up so that it at least covered most of her breasts, and then pulled his shirt over himself to hide what everyone in the room knew was pressed up against her groin. He carefully eased his zipper back up, and grimaced, it was a snug fit.

Chandler smiled, "So whose idea was it to have a surprise party for us? Ross? Was this your idea? Remind me to thank you for this later on."

Jack Geller grinned. "Well you two seem to be having fun. It's a shame to break you up."

Chandler at last felt it was safe to move. He stood and held a hand out to Monica, as she stood next to him his arm went round her back to pull her zipper up.

"This is a surprise. We weren't expecting an anniversary party." Monica said as brightly as possible in the circumstances.

"Really?" Phoebe said smiling. "We would never have guessed."

The guests started to pretend to talk to each other and refill their glasses. But with most of them, at least half of their attention stayed with the celebrating couple, who were still rooted to the spot. Monica caught Joey smirking at her out of the corner of her eyes. She and Chandler had been so near to doing it that she could now feel a slow drip down her leg, at least if she was wearing normal underwear it would have been caught. "I think I should go change." Monica said and began to move over to their bedroom.

"Nonsense darling you look lovely." Her mother told her.

Thirty two years, Monica thought, thirty two years she had been waiting for her mother to say those words and she had to pick a time when she was in danger of giving a very good impersonation of a snail unless she did change. The drip had reached her lower thigh.

Phoebe grinned. "Yeah but I think Monica needs to change her panties don't you Mon?" A few of the guests stopped and stared at Monica again.

Monica breathed deeply, there must be a less humiliating way of agreeing with Phoebe than telling everyone the truth. "Well they are a little scratchy." She said at last.

Joey whined. "But Chandler never got to see them on her, I bet they look good. Some people just never appreciate the presents you get them!"

Monica put her hands up, "Can we all stop talking about my panties?"

Phoebe smiled in agreement, oblivious to her friend's embarrassment. "Ooh yes. I want to know why you won't let Chandler do it on the balcony. I think that's mean. You did it with fun Bobby out there, why not Chandler?"

Chandler looked at Monica in hurt shock at the memory. "That's right you did, so why not me? Did you love fun Bobby more than you love me?"

Monica put her hands up to stop that conversation. "OK babies. How about we talk about how soon this married couple is going to have babies?" She raised her eyes accusingly at Chandler. This was the one subject that always shut him up.

Ross murmured into his drink, "About nine months time judging by the performance we all had to listen to."

Rachel raised her glass quickly to stop the argument she could see coming. "I think we should all drink to the happy couple, may they have a long and happy life together."

Monica whispered to Chandler, "If they're toasting us does that mean we don't get to drink, hell I could do with a drink."

"I could do with a bottle." Chandler whispered back and managed a very false smile as more toasts were made. He could still see down Monica's dress. He pulled his eyes sharply away as things quickly started to stir again below his belt at the sight.

 

The party did not go on long. Most of the guests felt that they should make an early exit. The celebrating couple clearly wanted to get on with celebrating without them. Monica's parents were the last to leave. Judy hugged and kissed her son-in-law goodbye. "Don't be embarrassed." She whispered in his ear. "I think it was lovely to see that the fires are still burning. Jack and I are just the same." Chandler made a face as she turned to kiss Monica and patted her arm. "Now we've gone you can go back to making grandchildren. It would be nice to have one born in wedlock for a change."

Monica pulled away and looked at her mother in surprise for the second time that evening. "Wow are you having a dig at Ross Mom?"

 

At last they were alone again. Monica smiled and kissed Chandler lovingly. "OK… on the balcony, just this once, and we have to do it lying down next to the wall on and under a blanket so that we can't be spied on."

Chandler grimaced "Well that sure set my loins on fire…." He looked away and then back at her. "No, not tonight." He said quietly.

"You don't want sex any more?" Monica asked surprised, trying to keep the desperation out of her voice. "Do you think you could manage for me because I kinda need it bad still?"

He pulled her down beside him on the couch and gently stroked her arm.

"Do you remember what you said on Rachel's Birthday?" He asked her.

"Who made the smell?"

He smiled, "Yeah you probably said that at some point… no you said you would want to have a baby within a year of marriage. And then tonight you mentioned it again."

"I was only trying to divert attention from my panties."

He laughed. "Yeah but you do want a baby don't you?"

"Only when you're ready."

"I think I'm ready and I don't think the kid will want to know that it was conceived on the balcony. I remember how I felt when my Mom told me where I was conceived "

"What are you saying?"

"I want to make babies with you."

"You know I'm mid cycle, if we use nothing tonight there is a pretty good chance?"

"You worked that out quick!"

"You're sure?"

"I'm sure."

"You don't need to feel you have to."

"Monica, I don't think making love to you is going to be too much of a chore."

"You want to make me pregnant?" She said to test him again.

"I want to make you pregnant. I gotta give one of my boys a chance, without the latex in the way."

"You're the sweetest."

"Well just remember that when you're in labor."

"You'd better still love me when I'm fat."

He smiled, "We'll see." He ducked as she went to hit him. "Well let's just hope I work."

He reached out to pick up his wine, but Monica stopped him with her hand, "No wine, it's bad for your sperm count. "

Chandler looked bemused. "It's all made Monica, made and ready for delivery, believe me. I've been making it for three days."

"We may need to do it a few times before you get it right."

"I get it right? "

"Yeah. And you can't wear jeans, or any underwear except boxers. We need to keep your testicles cool, so baggy clothing only. And no masturbation. That takes away from the quality of the stuff that I get to make babies with."

Chandler glanced down at himself. "It does?"

"Yeah. We can only do it when I'm mid-cycle and the rest of the time you have to… keep your legs crossed."

"For three weeks!! I won't be able to cross my legs, there will be too much stuff… waiting to get delivered." Chandler said in annoyance and then grimaced, realizing he had unleashed something. "Have you been reading up on this at all Monica?"

Monica shrugged, embarrassed. "No…." She met Chandler's skeptical face, "OK maybe a little….. OK, OK." She pulled out a stack of books on conception from under the table.

Chandler looked at them in horror. "Can't we just have fun. Ya know, I get horny, you get horny and then we get it together, I make a deposit and you make it into a baby."

"It's not all bad. Some of it's fun."

"Fun! Fun for who?"

" I have to keep you relaxed."

"I'm living with you and I'm gonna get no sex for three weeks? I'm not going to be relaxed Mon."

"And you have to make sure I come the same times as you do."

"Why?"

"That way I… well… the bit of me that needs your stuff dips into it when I come."

"Mon, Rachel got pregnant without any of this and Ross was wearing a condom. Isn't all this stuff just for people who are having problems conceiving? You think I'm going to have poor swimmers!"

Monica shrugged uncomfortably again. "Well you never did have much sense of direction."

"OK I will agree to your torture program if you're not pregnant in six months. Otherwise I'm putting my foot down. For the next six months we just have fun, no worrying about whether you get pregnant, just fun without contraception."

Monica frowned. "OK."

Chandler kissed her gently to comfort her. "I don't mind trying for the simultaneous orgasm part though. "

Monica looked up hopefully, "What about the baggy pants?"

"No. I'm not looking like a reject from the 80s. I'm not negotiating on the baggy pants…or the no sex for three weeks."

"Alcohol?"

Chandler shrugged, "I can go with you on the no alcohol, after tonight."

Monica smiled, she had won quite a victory. "Chandler?" She said brushing his hair with her hand and peering into his eyes. "You know we don't have to tell the baby where it was conceived and it might be romantic under the stars…"

Chandler jumped up, "I'll go get a blanket!" He hesitated, his brain lurched and reeled off course, like it had the night of the rehearsal dinner, "And the condoms" he added, but Monica gave him such an evil look that he backed away, "No condoms, we're not using condoms! I forgot! NO condoms. We're gonnna have a baby!"

 

 

"Well it is cold." Chandler murmured as explanation.

"It's scared." Monica said looking down at his limp penis with disgust. "Leaps up when it thinks it's play time but now, when it has a job to do, oh no, it pretends it can't."

"I'm sorry."

"Do you want me to put my diaphragm in?"

"Yeah, that might help."

Monica pulled her clothes on and went to the bathroom. She returned a few minutes later.

"All set?" He asked, looking up at her, grateful that she was taking his failure so well.

Monica kissed him and lay back down under the blanket and stripped again. "Yeah. Let's finally get this show on the road."

"I'm sorry. "

"Forget it. No problem, when you're ready."

He kissed her slowly, feeling a fraud as his body this time reacted instantly to the feel of her naked skin against his. His tongue licked gently at her breasts and down over her stomach as he rubbed his legs against hers in sensuous pleasure. He drank in her scent which got stronger the further he descended, but they were outside and the way that she shifted indicated to him that she didn't want oral sex. He took the hint and kissed his way back up her body. She could feel his penis against her leg, his balls, with their precious cargo, large and heavy from expectation. Her hips rocked a little to let him know she needed him. Her heart was beating wildly as his mouth moved back up to her lips and he crouched over her. To Monica it was almost like the first time. As he leaned forward, balancing on one arm, his free hand fumbled to get his penis in position.

"OK? He checked. Even after all these years he was still amazed that he was allowed to do this with Monica.

"Mmmm, please." She rocked again as he at last started to thrust forward. His eyes closed in concentration as he pushed and her waiting body took him into the core of her. They both exhaled in satisfaction that they were finally together.

Chandler relaxed onto her and started to move. Monica groaned as he stretched her even more than normal, "Oh my God! It's erect enough now isn't it?"

"I'm sorry." He said guiltily and made sure he stimulated her in the right places. She was going to be mad at him, but if he gave her a decent orgasm she would quickly forgive him and he loved watching her come.

"So you should be if it didn't feel… so good." She moaned again as his movements became more confident and more demanding. His hands went round her back and held her tightly as he thrust urgently. The blanket slipped off his back, but he didn't notice. The only thing that his body sensed was the feel and smell of the woman beneath him and the hot pleasure that was already pulsing through him.

He started to pant, and she felt him tense. She moaned, she was close herself, "Chandler!" She gasped. "I lied. I lied. I didn't put my diaphragm in!"

The return question from him was nothing more than a grunt, it was too late, as she knew it would be too late. Her hands went round his butt and held him so that he was pinned in place right against her cervix. He murmured and struggled slightly, but his penis was already starting to jerk and give up what she needed from him most. She felt the muscles in his butt instinctively continue to dip and push into her. A second later the pleasure exploded inside her and she arched her body and cried out to the cool night air. He could feel her vagina quivering and then the strong muscular contractions as it gripped and released him. Her cervix moved and dipped into the waiting pool of semen. He shuddered on top of her, gasped and groaned as he watched her in ecstasy. She finished and her body relaxed and he relaxed with her. His head rested on her shoulder as he panted and his penis shrunk and fell away from her. He knew then, in a way that only Phoebe would know, that her body had taken what it needed. The deed was done.

As Monica calmed she was a little afraid of what Chandler would say and she glanced at him nervously as he moved off her and collapsed onto his back to look up at the sky. He carefully pulled the blanket back over them.

"You can't see stars in New York." He said at last.

Monica smiled, "I think you just saw a few."

"That was a mean trick."

"You said you wanted to make babies, you just got scared."

He looked at her, it was clear that under the blanket she was lying with her legs in the air crossed at the ankles. She didn't have his certainty. "You're not going to let any of that stuff go are you?"

"Why did you want it back?" She met his eyes; he wore a strange, slightly startled expression.

He held her stiffly, still afraid at what they had just done. He felt as nervous as he had been the night before the wedding; it took all his concentration not to run. It was lucky that he was naked, as that at least would delay him. He concentrated on his breathing. It will pass, it will pass, he kept telling himself. The woman beside him was running her fingers over his chest. She was really horny tonight. Time of the month, drink, pregnancy? She wanted him again. Her hands had moved down and were gently caressing his balls, trying to stimulate him back up.

She started to kiss his ear. "You reckon you could do stud duties again?" She whispered. "I'm still horny. "

He hesitated and forced a smile as she kissed him and held him close. After a few minutes she pulled away and looked down between them at his limp nervous body, "He just doesn't wanna give it up does he?" She moved away from him and collected her clothes. " Do you wanna go inside?"

He nodded and within minutes Chandler was dozing gently in his bed, waiting for Monica to join him. His wife entered with a cup of steaming coffee and a glass of iced water. Chandler murmured and opened his eyes when he heard her entering and made room for her in the bed. She pushed her body up against his and started to kiss and lick his dozing form.

"You not tired?" He murmured, keeping his eyes shut, hoping she would get the message.

"Just relax." She told him and her mouth started to lick its way down to his balls. She took one gently in her mouth and his hips moved in appreciation.

"Oh God yes." He muttered and soared as she did the same with the other. She was now lying between his legs and she pushed them further apart so that she could lick the sensitive spot under his balls. As she probed it with her tongue he pushed down against her, his penis leaping up in keen attention, and then she was gone. His eyes shot open in alarm.

She appeared to be drinking coffee, but she didn't swallow. Instead she went back down on him with the steaming liquid still in her mouth. He got ready to yelp but instead the heat felt amazing, her tongue swirled around the head of his penis and the coffee started to foam out of her mouth. Her lips were taut against him and she swallowed. He grabbed hold of her head and rocked.

"Mon, Mon, more coffee, more coffee…" He pleaded.

She pulled away, but instead of coffee she took a mouthful of the iced water. He backed away but she held him firmly and he jumped as the cold met his penis. He swore, the cold contrast with the coffee had him pouring out a stream of expletives that Monica had never heard from him, he sounded more like a porn star. She started to hum and the vibrations had him swearing again. He was lost to any thought, just waiting for the next pleasure to be bestowed. Her lipstick was staining the shaft of his penis and there was water and coffee spilling everywhere but Chandler only cared that the woman he was tied to for life was giving him the best head he had ever received. She paused, broke away from him again and he smiled in anticipation of what was next.

Monica straddled him and looked down at a face that was more aroused than she had ever seen it. His eyes opened slightly and tried to focus on her. "Mon, if you love me go back down… please go back down."

"Am I the best?"

"Oh yeah, you're the best."

"I just have a little job for you first."

"What?"

She pushed herself on to him. All rational thoughts passed out of his mind and he gave himself up to the sensation of his wife's vagina massaging him to orgasm. A vague feeling of unease only reappeared in his brain in the moment before he released himself into her with a scream that was the culmination of her oral administrations. She rested her breasts down on him as he made a massive donation to her baby begetting mission. He was still shaking as she climbed off him.

"Cosmo?" He asked as his breathing settled to something more manageable.

"The coffee and iced water?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah it was Cosmo's suggestion."

He decided that conceiving a baby was not going to be so bad, not with Monica's determination. "Can we get an annual subscription?" He asked and fell soundly asleep.