[Court and Davey's house. All is quiet and peaceful]
Court: You know who hasn't molested us in a while?
Davey: Those weird freaks from the message board thingy? I thought they got drowned or something!
Court: Wishful thinking sweetie!
(outside Ez and DMG are lsitening under the window)
DMG: You know what that hurts, that physically hurts me
Ez: SHUT UP!
*hits DMG*
DMG: Okay, that hurts more
Court: Do you hear something?
Davey: Tell me its not the monkey and its wife! Tell me its not the monkey and its wife!
Court: It''s not the monkey and it's wife!
*looks out the windo*
Umm that would be a lie
DMG: HEY!
Ez: Hi! Did you miss us?
Court: Sweet Lord help me!
DMG: Would you like to come and ministain for our mass incestuous wedding?
Ez: We'll give you lollipops, and i'll even lend you my multicoloured robes and ass kicking hat!
Davey: *sarcastic* Great
Ez: Yay! so you'll come?
DMG: Ez, i think that's called sarcasm!
Court: uh huh, it is! We're NOT coming!
Davey: *thinks* you know it might just be fun
Court: We're NOT coming!
Davey *to Court* Breath honey and wait for the medication to kick in
DMG: Um, actually it never will
Ez: We kinda, sorta, um STOLE her medication
DMG: And by that we mean we stole all the alcohol in the house as well
Davey: so the dogs aren't alcoholics, that's always good to know
Ez: Look you 2, you might as well come. Because otherwise we will be forced to hug you so tight that you'll collapse....and the next thing you know you're in a drunken orgy!
DMG: *thinks* Not that that has ever happened to us!
Ez: No, no, of course not, its just um, um, um, Rachael has a thing about nekid orgies, its not us! We're the pure and innocent ones
Court: Which is worse? Hugging and drunken orgy or this ministaining at their incestuous mass wedding thing?
Davey: Well I'm thinking at the wedding at least we get to keep our clothes on
DMG: If clothes are important to you, you should probably skip the reception
Ez: If staying sober is important to you, you should as well!
Court: Okay, fine, we'll be your ministainers if it means that much to y'all
Ez: She said y'all!
DMG: I KNOW!
*Ez and DMG hug Court*
*and carry her and Davey to the wedding chapel*
(scene: The wedding chapel: The numerous brides/grooms/freaks are waiting nervously. Ez and DMG burst in with Davey and Court)
DMG: look who we collected!
Ez: And we even stole some cookies too
Court: hey!
DMG: *hits Ez* COLLECT GOD DAMMIT! How many times do I have to tell you?!!! *beats it into Ez*
Ez: Monkeys are mean *pouts*
Julie/Megs/Sarah/Rach: Hey I'm marrying that monkey!
Julie/Megs/Sarah/Rach: Uh oh, I'm marrying the monkey!
Ez: Well i'm already married to it! so there!
Suds: Me too! So therer there *sticks her tongue out*
DMG: Wifeys, wifeys, and future wifeys, there's enough monkey to go around! *dances nekid to prove it*
*court and davey shudder and look away*
Davey: Why God why?!!!
Court: Can we get on with this? I wanna go home and be with my husband! ALONE!
*the CCAMB people all giggle*
Davey: Stop it!
Court: OK! Monkey, put some clothes on and stand still! The rest of you, stand still, stop giggling and lets get this incestuous mass marriage show on the road!
Davey: *under his breath, to Court* should i even bother reminding you to breath?
Davey (reading from a piece of paper Ez has handed him) When I think of the love and drunk craziness that these multiple casual sexual givers and receivers share, I can not help but envy the lifetime ahead of orgies and having and loving and giving and...
Court: You know this sounds awfully familiar
Court: Dejavoodoo
Davey: Hey, the faster I read this the sooner we can go home and, you know, and i can't read it when you keep interrupting! I LOVE YOU!
DMG: *singing* I think I love you, so what am I so afraid of...
Everyone: SHUT UP!!!
DMG: FINE! *prepares to dance nekid*
Court: Don't you dare!
Davey: *giggles* I love when you get authoratative
*kisses her*
James: You sick bastard! *runs off crying*
Davey: What's up with him?
Rachael: He has issues
Rachel: Mainly with the fact that he wants to bone your wife
Davey: Lovely!
Court: Thank you for that! Anyway...
Court: *reading* We are gathered here today to join these women/monkey/freaks in the bonds of Unholy Matrimony. I’ve known you crazy hugging freaks for not a long time, thank God, but I cannot image 7 people more perfect for incetuos marriage. And now, as I'm very scared and would like to go home , I shall proceed to the vows.
Davey: Um, who is gonna go first?
DMG: ME! The monkey! Because I'm the queen/king/monkey of marriage!
Court: Look children, this is going to take forever if you all go individually. So why don't we have communal vows, like communal showers but less disgusting! The quicker this is over the better, cause let's face it I'm not getting any younger ()
Rachael *hands Court a mirror*
Court: Or am I?!!!
DMG: Communal showers RULE! All that nekid dancing! Or is that just me?
Davey: I think its just you
DMG: OH MY GAWD!
Sarah *shudders* I think my ear drum just exploded!
Ez: I think my brain cell exploded again! You mean nekid dancing ISN'T normal?!
Court: Well, while our kidnappers ponder that...
DMG: Collectors!
*drums it into Court*
Julie: Stop beating Courteney!!!
Suds: BAD MONKEY!
*spanks the monkey*
Court: Yes, yes, BAD MONKEY! Anyway... all together now, repeat after me: For so long, i wondered if I would find my prince, my soulmate, my monkey, then, yesterday, amid all the chaos, I turned to all my friends to get durnk. And instead, I found everything I've been looking for since some time last week. And here we are, with our future of durnken orgies, spanking monkeys and collecting Court and Davey before us, I only wanna spend it with every last one of you. Even if you don't want to!
*everyone repeats it*
Davey: I thought this was going to be the most difficult thing I ever had to do *whispers to Court* getting married was fine, THIS is difficult! And weird! *back to everyone* Anyway, when I saw you all pushing your way down the aisle, I realised how weird it really was. And any shit that comes are way, its ok, because we have our shit kicking boots and ass kicking hat, and our incestuous love. You are the people I want to spend the rest of my life with until i die of alcohol poisoning. You wanna know if I'm sure... Ok, group hug time! BUT NOT ME AND MY WIFE!
*everyone repeats it*
*everyone hugs everyone else, except Court and Davey, who just hug each other*
DMG: *sings* We are family, incestuosly married sisters are we!
*everyone sings along*
Davey: Thank god THAT'S over!
Court: Yeah, can we GO now?!
Ez: NO! You have to make us take each other!
Rach: In a totally platonic way
DMG: awww! That's no fun!
Rach :*whispers* later my baby, we don't want to blind Queen Courteney
Davey: do you all take each other?
Everyone: HELL YEAH!
Court: "I do" would have done it, but OK!
DMG: Now you have to make us take eachother's rings
Megs: Again in a totally platonic way!!!
Ez: I don't think we have enough rings! *hands out polo mints* these will have to do!
Suds: DMG, stop eating the rings!
DMG: *mouth full* What rings?!!
*Sarah holds DMG's nose*
*DMG spits out the rings*
Julie: *pointing* THOSE rings
DMG: Oh THOSE rings! I thought you meant the OTHER rings!
Megs: WHAT other rings?
DMG: Um, um, um *stuffs the rings back in her mouth and gestures that she can't talk because her mouth is full*
Court and Davey: We wanna GO!!!!
Rachael: awwww, PLEASE stay! We'll hug you and give you lollipops and jello shots and cookies!
Court: Those are MY cookies!
DMG: We collected them fair and square!
Ez: *pokes DMG* the cookies aren't square, they're round!
Suds: I like love squares
Court: How do you not fall down more?
Julie: *starts hyperventillating* I've married 5 people!!! I can't afford that many divorces!
DMG: I cant' afford this many anniversary cards!
Everyone: You'd better or we'll hunt you down and kick you ass!
DMG: Courteney! Help me!
Court: Davey! Help me!
Davey: *gives DMG $5* that's to stay the hell away from us!
*DMG dances with her $5*
Ez: Should I tell her she lives in England and can't use dollars?
Megs: Don't break the poor monkeys heart
Ez: Okay! *skips happily away*
Sarah: Should I tell her she's going in the opposite direction to the reception?
Rach: No, leave it. It's kinda funny
Court: If you're having the reception, can we go home?
Suds: You dont' wanna get durnk with us? *shocked*
Davey: Sweetie, we don't really wanna do ANYTHING with you
Everyone: *starts to cry*
Court *sighs then hugs everyone*
Everyone: YAY! *stops crying*
*The CCAMB people hug each other*
*court and davey slip away while we're distracted*
*Court and Davey running*
Court: We have GOT to start locking our doors
Davey: and windows
Court: Maybe we should ask for police protection!
Davey: I don't think it would help!
dmg: Court: They're like a crazy durnk army!
Davey: I guess we're just doomed!
*Court and Davey hug and cry*
THE END
(although if the reception is funny enough I may add that as well)