Court: Welcome Ladels, Jelly spoons and crazy monkeys
Davey:Except the crazy monkey and her wife who are probably breaching the restraining order
*Court and Davey glare at Ez and DMG*
Ez and DMG: WE LOVE YOU!!!
*Mel hits Ez*
Mel: I thought you loved me?
dmg: you love noah!
Court: Anyway...We are here today to honour all your outstanding acheivements in the field of being crazy and slightly freaky stalkers to me
Davey: But only because we were too scared to say no
*Chris and James from their seats*
Chris: I think you can see Court's nipple's through her dress
*James gets out the binoculars*
James: If only Auds would move her big fat head out the way!
Auds: Hey!
*drops an anvil on James head*
Rachel: HA!
Court: Moving swiftly on.
Davey: Before the competetive awards start we are going to present a very special award
Court: The Fellowship *pause* NOT of the ring! the fellowship award for being a fantastic administainer, and one of the joing littlerest sisters, and just an allround cool person, we sends us cool stuff in the mail!
DMG *whispers* Do you think it's for me!
Ez: *whisper* um, how do i tell you this? NO
Raimee: *turning around* SHHH!
DMG: Raimee, you should really have German subtitles
Davey: Rachael, sweetie, come up here, we love you, they love you, all the people who matter love you!
*rachael jumps up crying and runs onto the stage*
*Rachael gets up and straightens Davey's tie*
Rachael: WHAT? It wasn't parallel!
Rachel (drunk already) SPEECH!!!!
Rachael: Ummm, I just want to thank all the people who helped make this board the slightly scary place that it is. I especially want to thank me, cause lets face it I am the glue that holds us all together.
Rachel: A WOO HOO
James: Rachel, you want me to help you with your top?
*Toms turns the camera onto Rachel*
Rachael: *coughs* HELLO? I haven't finished! Finally I want to thank my role model Courteney, especially her character Monica who is my soul mate (apart from Rachel). I'm so happy that I no longer have to pretend to win a grammy with my shampoo bottle. I HAVE A REAL AWARD!
*everyone cheers*
Rachael: Can i hug you?
Court: sure *court hugs Rachael*
*Rach faints*
*Rach wakes up*
Rachael: Can I take you home with me and have you be my best friend?
Court: Only at weekends
*rachael faints again*
*Megs and Raimee carry Rach off the stage*
Davey: And to continue... The extreemly competitive awards...
Emmie and Luiza: FIGHT!! FIGHT!!! FIGHT!!!
Court: First of all, the award for the weirdest, funniest wedding. NO FIGHTS!!! *glares at Emmie*
Davey: Where's the envelope?
Court: You were supposed to bring it!
Davey: nu uh!
Davey: Yuh huh! You went, got the envelope
Court: NO! I went Got the envelope?
Emmie and Luiza: FIGHT!! FIGHT!!! FIGHT!!!
Ez: Do either of you HAVE the envelope?
DMG: Well, its ok, we all know who won, just say "Ez and DMG"
Mel: *gets out her handbag and smacks DMG over the head*
Court: I'd really rather the winners hadn't broken into our house on numerous occassions and given me several nervous breakdowns
Mel: Ha!
DMG: *to Mel* Well that mean's that you can't win either cause you're married to me. HA HA!
*mel sulks*
Davey: awww, crap
*davey pretends to open an imaginary envelope*
Davey: and the winners are...
Court: *sigh*
*Davey can't get the imaginary envelope open*
Court:and the winners are...
Davey: Ez and DMG
Ez and DMG: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Court: I really wish there had been some weddings that DIDN'T involve the monkey!
DMG: Sorry lady, NOT gonna happen!
*gets down on one knee*
Courteney Cox Arquette will you do me the honour of becoming Mrs Courteney Bass Cox Arquette Monkeygirl?
*Davey hugs Court protectively*
Davey: You are crusin for a brusin monkeygirl
*Ez slaps DMG*
Mel: you wait your turn!
*Mel throws water in DMG's face*
*Rachael throws water at DMG* That's for posting nonesense all over my beautiful MB!
DMG: Well this is going well
Court: Are you guys gonna make a speech or not?
Ez: hell yeah!
* Julie throws water over DMG* That's for leaving the toliet seat up!
DMG: I would just like to thank all my beautiful wives and any future fiancees. I would especilly like to thank wife number 2, Ez for eloping with me in Vegas and putting up with my fleas
*James giggles*
Ez: What?
James: She said Number 2
Ez: And i would like to thank Mel for not killing me yet, and Court and Davey for ALMOST letting us have our reception at their house.
Court: We didn't exactly have a choice in the matter!
Davey: And BTW, I've disconnected the camera you put in the shower
Ez: How the hell did you find it?
Court: It's a long story
Ez: is it suitable to tell the audience?
Davey: Are we on before or after 9
Ez: hm, after
Davey: Are we in the guys forum?
Ez: we can be
Davey: You know what, I think the story will remain between me and my wife *winks at Court*
DMG: awww, you made us all hopeful that you'd share! And now the guys need tissues!
*Tom breaks into a jealous rage and punches Davey*
Court: OMG!
*DMG gives her fleas to Tom*
DMG: Take THAT!
*Tom runs in the opposite direction*
Tom: MY EYES! MY EYES!
Davey: *scraping himself off the floor* It's gonna be a loooooong night
*court helps him up and hugs him*
*Court notices Ez and DMG kneeling at her feet* Will you 2 leave me alone!
*Megs and Raimee carry Ez and DMG off stage*
Raimee: Are we getting paid for this?
Court: Will $5 do?
Raimee: Hell yeah!
*Raimee takes the money*
Raimee: Now I have $5 dollars. I'm rich!
Megs: Awww, i want $5 *sulks*
Court: Ok, the next category is for the best pervert of the board.
Davey: An extremely high standard of perverts here. Which isn't great, since the object of their perversion is my wife. But first, before we announce the results, we have a message from our sponsers, Kleenex, who wish to thank all the perverts for single handedly keeping the tissue economy a float
Court: And the winner is...
Davey: So you had THIS envelope then!
Court: *sigh*
Court: The winner is....*opens the envelope* Chris!
Chris: YES!!!!
*runs up to stage and hugs Court*
*chris unhooks Court's bra*
James: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
*runs up to stage and punches Chris THEN hugs Court and feels her ass*
Emmie and Luiza: FIGHT!! FIGHT!!! FIGHT!!!!
Court: Leave my ass out of this!
Davey: Don't make me kick ass!
*Ez throws him her prettyful as kicking hat*
Davey: cool! *puts on Ez's ass kicking hat*
DMG: OMG!! I thought I had burnt all of those!
Ez: NEVER!
Court: Okay James, I love ya hun, but your hand is STILL on my ass
Court: And why is Chris licking my feet?
Ez: You REALLY don't wanna know!
Emmie: Be glad he's not licking something else!
Rachael: You can't say that!
*covers DMG's innocent eyes*
Court: Get off the stage! all of you!
*Megs and Raimee carry them all off stage*
Ez: Wow, they're like the official Bouncers!
Davey: or just the least insane of all of you! which isn't saying a lot!
Julie: *tries to grasp the concept of not being insane*
*fails*
court: how many more awards are there? I'm sick of all these crazy people trying to moleste me!
Davey: Well you'll be glad to know the next award is for craziest person then
Court *sarcastic* yipee
Davey: do monkeys count as people for the purposes of this award?
DMG: *sticks her tongue out*
DMG: of course!
Court: Damn!
DMG: *crosses everthing*
*Ez pokes DMG*
*Rach sulks because she knows she needs to work on her crazyness more*
*Rach drowns her sorrow in a bottle of vodka*
Julie: Hey that was mine!
Court: The winner of the craziest person award is...
Davey: Dumbmonkeygirl!
*Ez and Rachel sulk*
DMG: *does the dance*
Mel: don't do the dance!
*DMG rushes up to the stage*
DMG: OMG!!! I can't believe this actually I can, cause I AM insane!
Davey: Oh we know
Megs: I KNOW!!!
Court: SHUT UP!!! Let the monkey speak so that I can go home early!
DMG: I would just like to thank my monkey parents, my shrink and my only friend, alcohol!
Julie and Rachel: AMEN! *take a swig of the vodka*
Mel: That's my monkey husband!
Ez: And my wife!
Mel: I'm so proud!
Ez: I'm not. I should have won. *sulks* Awww, what the hell, I'm proud too *grins and cheers DMG*
DMG: *hears the cheers* I am SO drunk on power right now!
Davey: Just power? *to Court* Makes a change!
Court: I KNOW!!!
everybody: She said it!!!
*everyone storms the stage to hug Court*
Court: *very scared, to Davey* Help!
*Davey's arms are pinned to his side in a giant hug from Rachael*
Davey: I would if a could!
*Raimee and Megs carry everyone off stage*
Megs: You know we should really consider this as a career option!
Raimee: We could fight crime together
*Court follows them and hugs Raimee and Megs*
Court: I love you guys!
*everyone else glares at Raimee and Megs jealously*
Megs: WHAT?!!! We're just doing our job!
Emmie and Luiza: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT
Davey: Breath you two!
*Emmie and Luiza resume breathing*
Davey: moving swiftly on to the next award. Best Newbie.
Court: Its amazing just how quickly the newbies on the board get sucked into the crazy world of breaking and entering, unholy matrimonies and simple obsessiveness
Davey: But the newbie who appears to have done all that the best, which is pretty worrying really, is Auds!
Auds: *races up to the stage* OMG! I can't believe I won! You love me!
*auds almost smothers Court and Davey in a hug*
Davey: Can't....breathe...let....go!
Raimee: Dont' make us come up there!
*Auds reluctantly lets go*
Auds: I would like to thank everybody for being pyschotic, especially Rachel who is my twin. Oh and beware of falling anvils!
*anvil falls and lands on Tom who has been secretly looking down Court's top from the top of the stage curtains*
*Court looks up worriedly for any more anvils*
*Davey looks down worriedly at the pervert lying at his feet*
Davey: Are you all so pereverted?
Tom: Ummmmm
Chris: Uhhhhh
Davey: I see
Court: Ok, now he's looking up my dress!
Tom: Well if you weren't so damn hot!
Court: I'll chose to take that as a compliment if you GET OFF THE DAMN STAGE NOW!
Davey: remember what we talked about honey, deep breaths
*Court takes some deep breaths*
Davey: Megs, Raimee, you wanna help us out again? We'll hug you!
*Megs and Raimee rush up to the stage and remove the perverts and anvils*
*megs trips over her own feet in the rush*
Megs: Damn feet always, getting in the way!
Rachel: *slurred* I hear your pain sista!
*Rachael stamps on Rachel's foot*
Rachel: I feel it too now!
Auds: You guys just wanted to steal my thunder! *sulks*
Rach and Rach: Yep, like theives in the night.
Mel: Look on the bright side, at least no one has announced they're preggers yet!
Julie: I'm pregnant!
DMG: Me too!
Ez: Me three!
Mel: Me four!
*everyone looks expectantly at Court*
Court: I'm not saying a word!
Davey: If we can PLEASE stop with this! Its time for the next award
Court: I actually like this one. Although it IS a little bit scary still
Davey: The award for the person who's most obsessed with Courteney
Court: As the person in question I feel honoured and slightly freaked out to present this award
*sees everyone start to cry*
Court: But in a good way!
Court: I'd like you all to join me in congratulating the person who allowed all this to happen
Everyone: congrats court! we love you!
Court: Thanks, but i didn't mean me
Davey: The winner of the most obsessed fanatic is...
*drumroll*
*longer drumrolll*
Ez: I'm BOOOORED
Court: Rachael!
DMG*gasps* That should have been me!!!
Davey: The creator of the board, the most obsessed person of all of you! Which is a terrifying but brilliant acomplishment.
Court: Again that is meant in the nicest possible way
Davey: of course
Court: Rachael? sweetie? Are you gonna come up here?
*everyone turns to look at Rachael who has fainted*
*Megs and Raimee lift Rach onto the stage*
Megs: Well, this is different!
Raimee: Variety is the spice of life!
Megs: Court, Davey, can we get out hug now?
Rachael: Thunder being stolen!
Raimee: PLEASSSSSE! I love you guys!
Ryan: Hey!
Raimee; Just be glad I'm not marrying the monkey!
Ryan: believe me, i am!
*Megs drags Ryan and Raimee off the stage*
Megs: so much for being partners! *sigh*
*Rach starts to come round*
Rachael: Oh my god! I won!
Rachel: YEAH YOU DID! *whispers to anyone who'll listen* That's my fiancee
DMG: *is shocked* That's NOT one of my wives!
Mel: *sarcastic* but for how long?
DMG: I dream of a world where everyone is my wife *sniffs*
Ez: One day my friend, one day!
Court: *cough* shut up *cough*
DMG: WOW! Courteney caught my cold! *is proud*
Rachael: I didnt' come up with TWO speaches!
Rachael: can i just give the first one again?
DMG: I came it with 2 so you can as well!
Rachael: Ok fine! I want to thank Court and Davey, for making all this possible. I want to thank Sammie for coming up with the awards and Ez and DMG for writing my speach for me, ;) and all the lovely people on the boards, who not only voted for me to win this award, but make the board what it is…
Court: Drunk and crazy?
Rachael: Yes. But anyway… I would also like to thank the inventor of the ezboard delete button to which I am eternally gratefull!
Court: and i thought she was relatively sane!
Davey: dont' you get it? she's MONICA!
Rachael: Yeah court, if you think about it, its thanks to YOU that i'm my loveable, yet high maintance self
Rachel *sarcastic* Thank's Court
*rachael hugs Court and Davey*
*Megs and Raimee get ready to spring into action*
*Rachael walks calmly off the stage*
Raimee: Wow! that's something i never thought i'd see!
DMG: The end of the world is nigh!
Ez: *panics and clings to DMG*
Mel: Get your own DMG! I was married to her first!
DMG: wives dear, there's pleanty of monkey to go around!
Court: And now for the last award of the evening
Davey: Praise the Lord!
Court: The most missed member of the board.
Davey: this is for the person who used to be a crucial part of this crazy online world but who has moved on to what i hope are more sane things
Court: And the winner is...
Davey: JZ!
court: We're SUCH a good team darling!
Davey: I KNOW!
everyone: HE SAID IT!!!
*everyone storms the stage and hugs Davey*
*DMG feels Davey's ass*
Court. UMM. HELLO! Wife standing right here!
DMG: Hi!
Mel: Wife standing right here too! *points to the floor where she's standing*
Ez: AND here! *also points*
DMG: Oh yes, their you are!
Ez: *sticks her tongue out at DMG*
DMG*rolls eyes*
Ez: You'll get an eye tumor!
Rachel *whispers to Court* Is it just me or are there 3 DMG's?
Court: *squints* I think its just you and the vodka. Anyway... Since obviously, JZ couldn't make it today
Davey: lucky bastard!
Court: Why couldn't I think of anything we were doing?!
Davey: I knew what I wanted to be doing!
Court *thinks about this* Ohhhh *blushes*
The Perverts: yeah baby!
Chris: Can I come and watch? If you can't beat em, join em!
Tom: Although the best thing would be to BEAT UP Davey and JOIN Court...
*Davey punches Tom*
Tom: did i say that out loud?
Court: I love it when you get all protective!
*Davey and Court kiss*
James: MY EYES! MY EYES!!!
The girls: Awwwwww
Raimee: James, if you don't wanna get kicked out, shut up!
*DMG hands James some dark glasses (aka, sunglasses :p DMG)*
Davey: ANYWAY...
Court: Since JZ isnt' here, one of you guys gets to accept this award on his behalf
Julie: I'm behafin' it!
Mel: awww, no! Me!
Tom: ME!
Talie: no, me!
Emmie and Luiza: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!
DMG: I want it!!!
Ez: YOU HAVE 2 ALREADY!!!
DMG: So?!
*all the board members move threateningly towards each other*
Court: Ok, y'all have to just calm down, or we'll take this award away right now, don't think we won't do it!
*everybody stares in shock at Court*
Davey: I love it when you get all fiesty!
*Court and Davey kiss*
Julie: I didn't even get NOMINATED! Therefore I should get to behalf JZ's award!
court: that seems fair. Come on up Julie!
*Julie runs up to the stage as fast as the speed of light*
Julie: I'm sure JZ would want to thank, my parents, my friends, the alcohol companies that supply me with endless hours of fun when i don't have you crazy people to entertain me
*DMG and Ez do their gracious looser faces*
Ez: *whispers to DMG* We have gracious loser faces? Wow! You learn something new everyday!
DMG: I KNOW! *waits to be hugged by everyone. Isn't. Sulks*
Court: And that brings an end to the first annual CCA MB Awards *reading off the autocue* last one to the first annual CCA MB orgy stinks! *realises* Who the hell wrote this? Are you kidding me here?!!!
Davey: Well, much as we'd *sarcastic* LOVE to join in your orgy *normal* we going home. To bed. And not to sleep.
*Court giggles and blushes*
Chris: You're sooooo lucky man!
James: I know. I hate that!
Tom: Me two!
Davey: *sticks his tongue out at the perverts* Come on Court, lets get out of here
*Court and Davey make a run for it*
DMG: COME BACK!!!! *Grabs Court and Davey and spins them round, movie style*
*Court and Davey break free and stagger away, still dizzy*
And they all went off to the orgy and lived happily ever after forever and ever
THE END