THE ONE WITH THE SEPARATION
Written by: Ethan
Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me, but to Bright, Kauffman and Crane Productions and Warner Bros. Their use is not intended for profit, only for entertainment.
ROSS & RACHEL'S APARTMENT (Ross is getting ready to take Ben to school. He's putting Caitlin in her stroller as Rachel enters)
Ben: Mommy's home Dad!
Caitlin: Momma!
Rachel: Hey.
Ross: Rachel. (to Ben) Let's go Ben, you're gonna be late for school.
Rachel: You can leave Caitlin here if you want.
Ross: I don't need any favors from you Rachel.
(Ross, Ben and Caitlin leave)
Rachel (starting to sob): Of all the hurtful things he's ever said to me, that one really stung.
OPENING CREDITS
CENTRAL PERK (Phoebe and Joey are present)
Joey: Any sign of Rachel?
Phoebe: No, not since we left Brad and Jennifer's three days ago.
Joey: They're not gonna divorce over this are they?
Phoebe: I don't think so.
Joey: Why's Ross so upset?
Phoebe: Rachel told us something that she shouldn't have, something that's pretty embarrassing to Ross.
Joey: Kinda like how I hope know no one ever finds out that I told Jenna that I only slept with her sister once even though we did it like ten times.
Phoebe: Joey!
Joey: But it was all in the same evening so technically it was really only one time.
Phoebe: I can see your point.
Joey: I need a job.
Phoebe: Then you're talking to the wrong person. I don't have a job either.
Joey: What would be a cool job for me?
Phoebe: Porn star.
Joey: Stage fright would be a problem.
Phoebe: You could totally be an actor.
Joey: I'm an actor Phoebe, an out of work actor.
Phoebe: Where's Jenna?
Joey: She went to see her Mom.
Phoebe: So you're free to do whatever today?
Joey: I am supposed to be looking for a job.
Phoebe: Where's the fun in that?
Joey: I personally enjoy the rejection that comes with applying for jobs that I'm not qualified for.
Phoebe: Let's go do something. We haven't done anything fun together in a while.
Joey: I don't know. I really have to find a job.
Phoebe: You can do that tomorrow.
Joey: But I said that yesterday and if I say it again now it'd mean that I'm saying that again.
Phoebe: That made no sense to me at all.
Joey: Me neither.
Phoebe: Let's go do something fun.
Joey: Like what?
Phoebe: Trust me.
Joey: No way, if I trust you I'll wind up getting arrested.
Phoebe: That's probably true. We could go visit some friends of mine.
Joey: You have other friends besides us?
Phoebe: These are special friends. I visit them once a week to cheer them up.
Joey: Are we gonna be visiting your homeless friends?
Phoebe: No, these friends are in the hospital for a while.
Joey: I don't like hospitals.
Phoebe: It'll make you feel good about yourself if you go with me.
Joey: If I want to feel good about myself I do it in the privacy of my own bathroom.
Phoebe: Come on, it'll be fun. My friends'll adore you.
Joey: Ok, but you're buying me lunch.
Phoebe: It's a deal.
ROSS & RACHEL'S APARTMENT (Ross and Caitlin have returned from dropping Ben off at school. Rachel is seated on the couch)
Ross: Did you need something?
Rachel: I live here.
Ross: True.
Rachel: Why are you being an asshole to me?
Ross: Excuse me?
Rachel: Why are you being an asshole to me? For the past three days I have tried to call to apologize to you and each time you've hung up the phone on me. Then when I get the courage up to come back home and offer to watch Caitlin while you take Ben to school you merely say "I don't need any favors from you Rachel". Are you purposefully trying to hurt me because if you are, you're succeeding big-time. I'm hurting big-time Ross! You're watching the kids, you're living in the apartment, I have nothing! Nothing!
Ross: Don't go turning the tables on me Rachel! You brought this on yourself! You were the one who blabbed what I thought was an intimate thing between us to your girlfriends! Something that was between you and I only! In my eyes you humiliated me in front of our friends! I can never look at your girlfriends again without feeling embarrassed! How am I supposed to be able to do something risqué for you in the future without thinking that our friends might find out about it! Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to dress up like that? Most men, unless they're Chandler's Dad, don't go around putting on women's lingerie! But I thought to myself, my wife is really down and I want to cheer her up because I hate to see her so sad so I'll do it! If I'd known that you'd shoot your f^cking mouth off about it, I wouldn't have bothered! So don't try to turn the f^cking tables on me because you're not the only one who's really hurting! I'm hurt, embarrassed, and besides myself that you'd share something so intimate with your friends! Do you even know what the word privacy means!
Rachel: I know what the word means Ross.
Ross: Funny, your actions sure doesn't support your knowledge of the word! Are you staying here?
Rachel: Yes, I'm staying here. I live here. We have to work through this Ross.
Ross: There's nothing to work through Rachel.
Rachel: What are you saying? Are you saying that it's over?
Ross: I don't know. I do know this, I don't want to talk to with you at this moment. So if you want to stay, stay. I'll leave.
Rachel: This is crazy! Talk to me!
Ross: I'll see you later. Ben needs to be picked up at 3:30.
Rachel: Would you at least tell me where're you going?
Ross (opening the door): No.
Rachel (slamming the door shut and putting her body up against it): God damn it Ross! Don't you walk out that f^cking door! I love you! Talk to me!
Ross: Move away from the door Rachel.
Rachel: No, not until you talk to me! I'm sorry, I'm sorry that I embarrassed you! Please, please don't leave me!
Ross: I just need to cool off Rachel. Now move away from the door.
Rachel: But…
Ross: Now. (Rachel moves away)
Rachel: At least check in on the kids.
Ross: I'll be back for some stuff later.
MONICA & CHANDLER'S FLAT (Monica is present)
Monica: How long does it take him to get home? Never this long! (Chandler enters)
Chandler: Hey.
Monica: Take off your clothes.
Chandler: No, you take your clothes.
Monica: Ok, but if you don't take off your clothes what I had in mind is going to be extremely difficult to accomplish.
Chandler: You called me home from work to just to have sex? I just spent my morning getting my ass chewed off for leaving early last Thursday.
Monica: Don't worry about it, I already talked to Donna for you. You're cleared for the rest of the day.
Chandler: You called Donna, you called Donna to let her know that I had to come home to have sex with you because you needed to have sex immediately?
Monica: Yeah. Come on, take off your suit. I want to be hitting the sheets in two minutes.
Chandler: But I don't want to have sex right now.
Monica: What?
Chandler: I'm not in the mood.
Monica: Since when are you not in the mood for sex?
Chandler: Right now, for one.
Monica: But don't you want to try for another baby?
Chandler: Is that what this about?
Monica: You think I'd call you home in the middle of your work day just to have meaningless sex with you?
Chandler: You did when we were living together.
Monica: You know what I meant Chandler.
Chandler: I'm not ready to try for another child right now.
Monica: What?
Chandler: I said I'm not ready to try for another child right now.
NYU MEDICAL CENTER - CHILDREN'S WING (Phoebe and Joey are present)
Nurse: It's good to see you again Phoebe.
Phoebe: How's life treating you Lana?
Lana: Can't complain. Are you here to visit the kids?
Phoebe: Yeah. Lana, this is my good friend Joey.
Lana: Hi Joey.
Joey: Hi.
Lana: Well I gotta run, it's good to see you again Phoebe.
(Lana walks away)
Joey: Come here often?
Phoebe: Once a week. Ready to go see some kids?
Joey: I guess. Ah, are these kids healthy?
Phoebe: They're in the hospital Joey, so I'm gonna say no.
Joey: Can we go do something else then? I don't think I can do this.
Phoebe: You'll do fine. Here's Timmy's room. Let's go say hi to Timmy.
(Phoebe and Joey enter the room. Timmy, wearing a shower cap, is lying on his bed)
Phoebe: Hi Timmy!
Timmy: Phoebe!
Phoebe: Timmy, this is my buddy Joey.
Timmy: Hi Joey. Are you an angel like Phoebe here?
Joey: Ah, ah, yes, yes I am.
Phoebe: How are you feeling?
Timmy: Ok. (removing his cap) But all my hair fell out.
Joey: What, what happened to your hair?
Timmy: The chemotherapy treatments made me lose my hair.
Joey: Huh?
Phoebe: Timmy has leukemia. The Doctor is giving him chemotherapy treatments to make him better.
Joey: Why, why would they give him something that would make his hair fall out?
Timmy: So I can get better and become an actor when I get bigger.
Phoebe: Joey's an actor.
Timmy: Really?
Joey: Yeah. I'm a real actor.
Timmy: Have you been in any movies with Jennifer Aniston?
Joey: Ah no. But I do know her personally.
Timmy: She's totally hot.
Joey: She really is.
Timmy: Could you get her autograph for me?
Joey: I'll do my best.
(Timmy picks up his basin and starts throwing up in it)
Phoebe: Still can't eat huh?
Timmy: No. Every time I try I just get sick.
Joey: Pheebs, I need to get some air. I'll wait for you outside.
Phoebe: Ok. I'll be right out.
(Joey leaves)
Timmy: He's gonna get me Jennifer Aniston's autograph.
Phoebe: He sure is. Well I have to go say hi to some more of your friends, you hang in there kiddo.
Timmy: Ok.
(Phoebe leaves and joins Joey in the hall)
Joey: Can we go home now?
Phoebe: You did great in there Joey. Timmy really liked you.
Joey: Timmy is sick, looks like Kojak and threw up in a basin like it's no big deal. That's not normal Phoebe.
Phoebe: Do you know the last thing he said to me before I left the room? He said "he's gonna get me Jennifer Aniston's autograph". You just made that kid's day Joey.
Joey: You said that this was going to make me feel good about myself, but all I feel is sorrow. No kid should be in this stupid hospital.
Phoebe: If he had his choice, he wouldn't be here, but he is. He's just happy that he got the chance to meet a real actor, an actor who knows his favorite actress. You made his day. You gave him the will to continue to fight to get better. That's why I come here. To see their eyes light up when I enter the room, a person who cares enough to come see them in the hospital. But if you want to leave, then we'll leave.
(Joey and Phoebe just stand in the hall for a few minutes)
Joey: Maybe someone will want my autograph?
MONICA & CHANDLER'S FLAT (Continued from before)
Monica: You really don't want to try for another child right now?
Chandler: No.
Monica: But, but two months ago you were all for it.
Chandler: And then it happened again.
Monica: What happened?
Chandler: Your miscarriage Monica.
Monica: What does that have to do with anything? It's not like it happened to you again.
Chandler: What!
Monica: That came out totally wrong honey. I didn't mean it like that at all. Of course it happened to you as well.
Chandler: It's just too fresh for me. I still have dreams of you opening the bathroom door to find you with a box of tampons in one hand and tissues in the other with you wiping the tears from your eyes. It was devastating for me to find you like that.
Monica: But we have to move past what happened. We can't let a setback like that get in the way of having another child.
Chandler: I'm not saying that I don't want to have another child Monica. I'm just saying that I'm not ready to start trying again.
Monica: I, I, I just don't understand. I'm ready to start trying again and you're not. Isn't it supposed to be the other way around?
Chandler: Mon, I understand that you're ready to start trying again, I'm just not in the same place.
Monica (flippantly): Will you ever be in the same place?
Chandler: Are you trying to pick a fight with me?
Monica: No.
Chandler: I would never force you to do something that you weren't ready to do and I'd like to think you extend me the same courtesy.
Monica: Is there anything I can do to help you move past this?
Chandler: I just need some time Monica. I have watched you give birth to our son, one of the most special days of my life but I've also witnessed you have two miscarriages. I still have vivid memories of the first when they carted you off on a stretcher, and the second where I found you in tears at four in the morning. I dealt with the first a long time ago, I just haven't been able to move past the second.
Monica: Do you think that I wasn't as upset the second time? Like it was old hat?
Chandler: Not at all. You didn't ask me to hold you for the fun of it. I held you for an hour in silence because there was no need for words. You were hurting and so was I.
Monica: Then I guess we'll just have to wait.
Chandler: I'd really appreciate that. And am I not saying that we can't make love, I'm just saying that we have to use protection.
Monica: Some consolation prize. (Chandler just looks at Monica) I love you.
Chandler: I love you too.
NYU MEDICAL CENTER - CHILDREN'S WING (Phoebe and Joey are present)
Phoebe: This is Cecelia's room. Cecelia experienced some burns to her face in a kitchen fire so be prepared.
Joey: Ok.
(Phoebe and Joey enter)
Phoebe: Hi Cecelia!
Cecelia: Hi Phoebe! Did you bring me any chocolate this time?
Phoebe: Sorry sweetie, your Mom said no more chocolate. Cecelia, this is Joey. He's my buddy.
Cecelia: Wow! You're totally hot!
Joey: You're quite the looker too Cecelia.
Cecelia: Have you seen my face? I'm gonna have scars from the burns.
Joey: Beauty is on the inside Cecelia. If you think you're beautiful, then you are.
Phoebe: Joey's an actor.
Cecelia: I, I, I thought he looked familiar! You were on General Hospital!
Joey: Yeah, yeah I was.
Cecelia: And then you disappeared from the show. What happened?
Joey: My character met an untimely death.
Cecelia: So you were fired.
Joey (to Phoebe): Smart and attractive, a dangerous combination.
Cecelia: Can I have your autograph? I've never met a real life actor before.
Joey: You bet. You got a pen and some paper?
Cecelia: Here you go.
Joey: What would you like me to put on your autograph?
Cecelia: "Dr. Ross Greco will rise from the dead", then sign below it.
Phoebe: Wow, that's like the resurrection of Jesus Christ.
Joey: Here you go.
Phoebe: Ok, we have to go. See you next week.
Cecelia: Bye!
Joey: Bye Cecelia.
Cecelia: Joey, are you seeing anybody right now?
Joey: I'm married sweetie.
Cecelia: She's really lucky. You're totally hot.
MICHAEL'S PLACE (Ross is waiting for his dinner guest, his Dad. Monica approaches him from the kitchen area and sits down at the table)
Monica: Hey.
Ross: What are you doing here?
Monica: I'm Dad.
Ross: Then I'm leaving.
Monica: Sit down and listen to what I have to say. When I'm done, you're free to leave.
Ross: Fine.
Monica: Look, whatever is going on between you and Rachel is none of my business.
Ross: Then why are we even talking?
Monica: Because I'm your sister and I just wanted to remind you that I've never seen you happier in your life then when you're with Rachel and your kids. I just wanted you to remind you of that. I've got to get back to the kitchen. (pause) And I'm sorry for calling you a baby. (Monica gets up to leave)
Ross: Monica?
Monica: Yeah?
Ross: I love my wife.
Monica: I know.
CENTRAL PERK (Phoebe and Joey are present)
Joey: Phoebe, I gotta tell you, I wasn't excited about going to see those kids at all. But I gotta tell you, I had the best time.
Phoebe: By my count every female patient we visited asked you out.
Joey: Don't forget Nurse Julie.
Phoebe: Yeah, let's forget that happened, unless of course you want to tell Jenna that you were at the hospital soliciting dates.
Joey: I wasn't soliciting dates. She hit on me!
Phoebe: It's too bad about little Kenny.
Joey: We didn't see any Kenny.
Phoebe: That's because he succumbed to cancer two days ago. I had been visiting him for six months.
Joey: Does, does that happen a lot? Do they die?
Phoebe: Some of them do.
Joey: But they're so young.
Phoebe: It doesn't make much sense to me either Joey. I don't know why some survive and others die. But all of the hospital staff does there best to make sure they all survive.
Joey: You didn't tell me that some of them die.
Phoebe: But it's a hospital Joe. People die in hospitals.
Joey: Old people, old people die in hospitals, not ten year-olds who have a lifetime in front of them.
Phoebe: But look at the bright side Joey, we visited fifteen kids today and all of them were happy we came to see them. We got to watch TV with some, read to others, play board games with others, we brought a ray of hope to all of them.
Joey: And I got to give out five autographs. That's five more than I've ever given before.
Phoebe: And to think you wanted to spend your day getting rejected at job interviews.
Joey: Yeah, I still have to do that tomorrow.
ROSS & RACHEL'S APARTMENT (Rachel, Ben and Caitlin are present. It's 10:30pm. Ross enters)
Rachel (emerging from the bedroom): You came home.
Ross: I guess you could say that.
Rachel: Should I make a pot of coffee or is this going to be a short visit?
Ross: You don't know how to make coffee Rachel.
Rachel: Are you going to make a pot of coffee or is this going to be a short visit?
Ross: Why don't I show you how to make coffee?
MONICA & CHANDLER'S FLAT (Chandler is watching TV as Monica enters)
Monica: Hey.
Chandler: Hey.
Monica: Can we talk?
Chandler (shutting off the TV): Sure.
Monica: My mind kept wandering at work tonight about our conversation from earlier and I was hoping we could talk some more.
Chandler: Are you going to try to change my mind?
Monica (upset): Why would you even think that?
Chandler: Monica, I love you, but sometimes you push pretty hard to get what you want.
Monica: That's totally not fair! I merely wanted to talk with you about my feelings about what happened that night but if you think I have some ulterior motive, I'll keep my feelings to myself!
Chandler: Can we start over?
Monica: What?
Chandler: Can we start over? Can we act like you just got in from work?
Monica: Ok. (pause) How do we do that?
Chandler: I believe you entered and said "hey".
Monica: Do you want me to re-enter the flat again?
Chandler: It doesn't have to be a total re-enactment. But if you want to you can.
Monica: Hey.
Chandler: Hey.
Monica: Can we talk?
Chandler: Sure.
Monica: My mind kept wandering at work tonight about our conversation from earlier and I was hoping we could talk some more.
Chandler: What do you want to talk about?
Monica: Have we started over now?
Chandler: Yeah. I didn't ask if you were going to try to change my mind.
Monica: Ok. While I was at work it dawned on me that I never really shared with you how I felt about what happened and I wanted to share those feelings with you.
Chandler: Ok. What's on your mind?
Monica: When I found out that I was pregnant again I was ecstatic. I was so excited because it didn't take as long to get pregnant. I went off the pill and five weeks later we found out I was expecting.
Chandler: It did happen fast didn't it?
Monica: Yes, and I was so happy. I started to do all things you're supposed to do when you get pregnant. I started eating right, I stopped drinking, I even started exercising. And you know how I hate to exercise.
Chandler: You're not alone there. I much prefer wasting my time at Central Perk or watching TV or playing with Michael.
Monica: The day before I miscarried I started spotting. I panicked a little but then I read in the pregnancy book that it's not uncommon for that to happen in the early stages of pregnancy so I relaxed.
Chandler: You never told me about the spotting.
Monica: I was at work and was kind of busy running the restaurant. When I got home you had already gone to bed so I figured I'd tell you in the morning. When I awoke in serious discomfort at two in the morning I knew something was wrong. In hindsight I should've awoken you, but I didn't. By three, I knew that I was going to lose the baby. When you came to the bathroom at four I didn't want to open the door. I didn't want to have to tell you that it happened again.
Chandler: You're crying kind of gave me an idea that something wasn't right. And as I recall I told you I wasn't going back to bed until you opened the door.
Monica: And when I did I saw the hurt in your eyes. I didn't have to say anything, you already knew what had happened.
Chandler: Yeah.
Monica: But with Joey's wedding later that day, we never really got a chance to talk about what happened. Sure, we spoke about it the next day, cried, and then agreed to move on. But we never really talked about how it affected the both of us.
Chandler: Yeah.
Monica: So that's what I did, at least I tried to. Do you remember that day that Rachel and Caitlin came over to cheer me up?
Chandler: Uh huh.
Monica: Rachel shared something with me, that I can't repeat, but it made me realize that things happen for a reason. There's no one to blame for what happened, it just happened. I guess I never really took the time to listen to you about your feelings about what happened. I lost sight of the fact that it happened to you as well. That became clear to me today when you told me that you weren't ready to try again. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry I didn't take the time to talk with you.
Chandler: Communication takes two people Monica. I never talked to anyone about my feelings about what happened. I've just tried to deal with it on my own. Hasn't turned out so good though.
Monica: Are you scared?
Chandler: Of you?
Monica (laughing): I already know you're scared of me. In a good way, but still scared.
Chandler: Yes, yes I'm scared. I don't think I could survive another miscarriage.
Monica: But what if I don't have another miscarriage? What if we have a son or a daughter?
Chandler: That would be great too.
Monica: We'll never have that chance of bringing another child into this world if we don't try again.
Chandler: I know that Mon. But it's like I already told you, I'm not mentally prepared to face the problems that could arise if you got pregnant again.
Monica: I'm not saying that we have to go make love right now honey. Take all the time you need to get your head in the game. I can wait. But I do ask one thing.
Chandler: What's that?
Monica: Would you mind if I let Joey impregnate me?
Chandler: What?
Monica: Only you can make jokes?
Chandler: Joey still believes that the best way to get a woman pregnant is to wear a condom.
Monica: Seriously, I do ask one thing.
Chandler: Yeah?
Monica: That if you need to talk to someone about what happened that night, talk to me. I was there. I went through it too.
Chandler: I can do that. (pause) You know it's never been easy for me to talk about my feelings with anyone. I've always hid behind the jokes or quickly changed the subject to get a reprieve from feeling vulnerable.
Monica: That's not entirely true Chandler. Not a day goes by that you don't tell me that you love me. You even call me in between naps at work just to tell me that you love me. That's sharing your feelings.
Chandler: But I tell you that I love you because we're married.
Monica: You tell me that I love you because you in fact love me, not because we're married and that's what married people do. You even tell me that you love me when you're upset with me because we had a stupid argument. You love Michael unconditionally because you helped make him. The point is you share your feelings more than you think you do. I've heard you tell Rachel and Phoebe that you love them too. You told me you'd jump in front of a bullet for Ross or Joey because they're your best friends. Not all expressions of feelings are said, some are expressed in action.
Chandler: I don't know what to say.
Monica: One other thing, you know how when we make love that you don't say anything?
Chandler: Well that's only because it's impossible to get a word in edgewise.
Monica (smiling): My point is that you're expression your feelings for me at that moment, through the tenderness, through your touch, through your kisses. Me feeling you inside me. You don't have to say anything to me because you're already expressing your feelings. On a good night, you express your feelings three times.
Chandler: Thanks for pointing all that out Monica. Here I thought I was this closed off individual but I'm actually sharing myself with others. Come here. (Monica walks over to Chandler. Chandler takes Monica into his arms) I'll be ready to try again soon, I promise. I promise that I'll share with you more about what happened that night. Maybe you can help make those terrible images go away.
Monica (kissing Chandler): I love you so much.
Chandler: Is this a bad time to tell you that I spilled beer on the couch again?
Monica: Yeah, the next thing we need to work on is your timing.
ROSS & RACHEL'S APARTMENT (Ross, Rachel, Ben and Caitlin are present. The kids are asleep. Ross and Rachel are sitting at the kitchen table staring at one another)
Rachel (trying to break the silence): Do you want more coffee?
Ross: My mug is still full.
(another minute of silence)
Rachel: Do you want to talk in the morning?
Ross: No.
Rachel: Then I guess I'll start the conversation but 'cause the wait is making me real uncomfortable and sick to my stomach. I'm sorry that I told the girls that you dressed up in lingerie, lipstick and holding a bottle of wine with two glasses just to cheer me up. I know I promised you that I'd never share that with anyone and I didn't keep my promise. I'm truly sorry.
Ross: Ok.
Rachel: Ok?
Ross: Rachel, can I ask you something?
Rachel: Of course you can Ross.
Ross: How would you've felt if I had told the guys what happened to you when you were sixteen?
Rachel: I'm not really sure I know what you're talking about Ross.
Ross: You know, the experience that you confided in me, only me mind you, about your date with that senior from our high school? The date where you were totally excited to go out with Jimmy because he was a senior and you were a sophomore. How he took you to the nice restaurant and then a movie and then parked with you at the top of the hill, the hill where you started to make out with him only to have him try to take advantage of you. You struggling to keep your pants on while he tried to shove his hands down your panties while caressing your breasts. How Jimmy pulled down his pants and tried to force you to touch his penis while telling you that he wanted to have sex with you because he had heard how much of a good time you were. How you were able to get him off of you only after you grabbed his balls and squeeze with all your might. How you got out of the car and walked all the way home in tears. How you never told a soul, not your parents, not Monica, no one. How'd you feel if I had told that story to the guys and then threatened to tell the girls when we were all together?
Rachel (crying): You'd never do that to me!
Ross: You're damn right I wouldn't because you trusted me with that experience and I swore to you that I'd never tell a soul. I'd take it to my grave. So how do you think I felt at Brad and Jennifer's when I found out that you had told the girls what I had done for you? Do you think I felt betrayed? Do you think I wanted revenge?
Rachel: I, I, I guess I didn't think it would be a big deal if the others found out what a nice thing you did for me.
Ross: And the mere fact that I asked you not to say a word to anyone about what I did for you that night never crossed your mind? (Rachel doesn't say anything) Come on Rachel, how are we supposed to have any trust in our marriage if you go around sharing our secrets with our friends?
Rachel: I don't know.
Ross: So tell me, how am I supposed to trust you now? How can our marriage survive if one of the partners can't tell the other private things?
Rachel: But you can trust me Ross. I made a mistake, a terrible mistake.
Ross: You told Monica what I did for you before you ever went to Atlantic City with the girls didn't you? (Rachel doesn't answer) Didn't you!
Rachel: Yes. Phoebe too.
Ross: Where's the phone?
Rachel: Why? Why do you need the phone?
Ross: Because I think it's time Chandler found out what happened to you in high school.
Rachel: No! Please, I beg of you, don't do it!
Ross: Why shouldn't I? You have no problem sharing intimate secrets with your sister-in-law, why shouldn't I be allowed to share with my brother-in-law? We're all family after all.
Rachel: You, you, you wouldn't do that because you're above that! You keep secrets! You don't betray people's trust!
Ross: I guess that what makes us different Rachel.
Rachel: I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt or humiliate you Ross. I was just upset about what you were doing with Caitlin and Ben. How you took Caitlin out of playgroup and how Carol was picking up Ben from school all the time.
Ross: Don't go bringing our kids into this Rachel! This isn't about them!
Rachel: I said I was sorry! What more can I possibly say or do to show you how sorry I am!
Ross: I don't know. (long pause) If I didn't love you so damn much this would be so much easier. I'd just pack up my sh^t and leave. Problem is, you make happy. The time we were apart was some of my unhappiest times in my life. So now I really don't know what to do? Do I leave you and the kids for a while? Do I ask for a divorce? Do I stick around and work through this issue? I don't have a f^cking clue.
Rachel: I love you too.
Ross: That's not gonna solve anything this time Rachel.
Rachel: I want to work this out with you.
Ross: I really don't see how that's your decision to make.
Rachel: Because I'm part of this f^cking marriage too!
(Three minutes of silence)
Ross: We need to take a break.
Rachel: What?
Ross: We need to take a break.
Rachel: A break from what, this discussion or us?
Ross: I'm leaning towards us.
(Rachel starts crying uncontrollably)
BRAD & JENNIFER'S RESIDENCE (Brad and Jennifer are present. It's midnight. Joey's at the gate pressing the buzzer)
Jennifer (in bed): Who the f^ck is that? It's midnight for Christ's sake!
Brad: I'll be right back.
(Brad goes to the front door and opens it)
Joey: Brad!
Brad: Joey, what the hell are you doing here?
Joey: I need a favor.
Brad: It's midnight! Can't it wait?
Joey: No.
Brad: I'll buzz you in.
(two minutes later. In the foyer)
Joey: Thanks for letting me in.
Brad: Why on earth are you here?
Joey: I need an autograph.
Brad: What?
Joey: I need Jennifer's autograph for this sick kid that Phoebe and I visited today. I promised her I get it for her. Is Jennifer up?
Jennifer (entering the foyer): She is now!
Joey: Oh, were you sleeping?
Jennifer: Does Jenna know you're here?
Joey: Jenna's at her parents.
Jennifer (to Brad): That gives us three days to dispose of his body.
Brad: He needs an autograph picture of you for a little sick kid.
Jennifer: I'll be right back.
Brad: How'd you even get out here?
Joey: I stole Phoebe's Viper. She had already gone to bed so I just helped myself to her keys.
Jennifer: Here you go Joey, now go home.
Joey: Thanks Jennifer. See you guys later!
(Joey leaves)
Jennifer: It's nights like this that I wish I weren't a celebrity.
ROSS & RACHEL'S APARTMENT (Ross, Rachel, Ben and Caitlin are present. The kids are asleep. Ross emerges from the bedroom with a packed bag)
Rachel: Where are you going? Would you at least tell me where you're going?
Ross: The Chelsea Lodge on W. 20th.
Rachel: What am I supposed to tell the kids?
Ross: I'll stop by tomorrow to explain why I'm not here.
Rachel: What am I supposed to do?
Ross: I don't know Rachel. I just need to figure some things out and I can't do that with you around. That's why we're separating. I'll see you later.
Rachel: For what it's worth, I love you.
Ross: I know. I know it doesn't seem it right now, but I love you too. Goodbye. (Ross leaves)
CLOSING CREDITS
MONICA & CHANDLER'S FLAT (Monica, Chandler, and Michael are present. They're all in bed for the night. The phone rings)
Chandler: It's for you.
Monica: You didn't even answer the phone.
Chandler: My friends never call me.
Monica (turning on the light and answering the phone): Hello? (pause) Rachel sweetie, calm down. What happened? (pause) I'll be right over.
Chandler: What's wrong?
Monica: Ross and Rachel just separated.