THE ONE WITH THE GHOST FROM THE
PAST
Written by: Ethan
Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me, but to Bright, Kauffman and Crane Productions and Warner Bros. Their use is not intended for profit, only for entertainment.
JOEY & JENNA'S APARTMENT (Joey, Jenna and Jenna Jr. are present)
Jenna (emerging from the bedroom): My sister should be here any minute now.
Joey: I don't see why I have to be around. I want to go play with Ross and Chandler.
Jenna: My sister is going to be your new sister-in-law, my maid of honor at our wedding and you have to meet her.
Joey (whining): I could do that later. (Jenna shoots Joey a dirty look) Or we could do it when she gets here.
(Phoebe enters)
Joey: What do you want?
Phoebe: The lab called to say that they haven't invented a microscope strong enough to detect your penis yet but they're still working on it. I'm just passing along the message.
Jenna: Hang around for a minute, my sister Shannon will be here any minute.
Joey: After I say hello can I then go play with Ross and Chandler?
Jenna: No because we're going to lunch.
Joey: I'm not hungry.
Jenna: I don't care.
(A knock on the door. Phoebe answers)
Woman: Hi, I'm Shannon, Jenna's older sister.
Phoebe: Hi, I'm Phoebe, Jenna's occasional sex partner. Come on in.
Jenna: Don't mind Phoebe Shannon, she's a little crazy. Joey? (to Phoebe) Did you see where Joey went?
Phoebe: He's hiding in the bathroom.
(Jenna walks over to the bathroom and opens the door)
Jenna: Come meet my sister before I kick your ass.
Joey: Do I have to?
Jenna: Yes! (Jenna and Joey walk back to the kitchen) Shannon, this is my fiancé Joey, Joey this is my older sister Shannon. (Joey and Shannon shake hands. Joey is extremely uncomfortable) Let's go put your bag in Jet's room.
Shannon: I can't wait to see the baby, she's all Mom ever talks about.
(Jenna and Shannon go into the baby bedroom)
Phoebe: Why do you look like you've seen a ghost?
Joey: Because I was looking at a ghost from the past.
Phoebe: Huh?
Joey: I slept with Jenna's sister.
OPENING CREDITS
CENTRAL PERK (Ross and Chandler are present)
Ross: You couldn't be more wrong. Luke and Leia were twins.
Chandler: They were not twins, they looked nothing alike. Besides Luke was older than Leia.
Ross: And where in the trilogy does it actually assign them age?
(Brad enters)
Chandler: He's older than her because they were separated to avoid Darth Vader.
Ross: They were separated at birth. If they're not twins, how do you explain the separated at birth part reference in Return of the Jedi?
Chandler: There was no reference to that, Vader merely says that Obi Won was wise to hide her from him. There's no reference as to when they were separated.
Brad: Gel Boy and Gay Boy, it's good to see that you're both still nerds to the Nth degree.
Ross: Hey if it isn't the poster boy for planned parenthood. Ladies and gentlemen, this is what happens when you don't plan ahead, a mistake.
Chandler: Weren't you in LA?
Brad: Yeah but we chartered a flight out last night.
Joey: Chartered?
Brad: A private plane. Jennifer doesn't like flying commercial flights with Courteney so we charter a plane.
Ross: It must be nice to have the money to do that. Me, yeah, I sit in coach, back of the plane by the toilet, it's all real nice.
Chandler: While your wife sits in first class.
Brad: Speaking of flying. Have either of you ever been skydiving?
Ross: I get scared when I get up on the ladder so I'm gonna say no.
Chandler: I once jumped down a whole flight of stairs.
Brad: Then we're going skydiving.
Ross: No we're not!
Chandler: I hate going up in planes, what makes you think I want to jump out of one?
Brad: Come on, it'll be fun.
Ross: Jumping to my death does not sound like fun.
Brad: I'll pay your way and give each of you $1,000 to go with me.
Chandler: I want $5,000.
Brad: Then you're going. Ross?
Ross: No way, I'm not gonna do it.
Brad: I'll make sure that your jumping partner is a big-breasted woman.
Ross: You mean we don't jump by ourselves?
Brad: No. You jump with a certified instructor. The instructor and you are hooked together and the instructor takes care of pulling the ripcord. You're just along for the ride.
Ross: Ok, I'll do it.
Brad: Great, we jump at twilight.
Ross: Twilight?
Brad: Yeah, it's more fun at twilight. Don't worry about Rachel and Monica, our cover is that we're going out to a bar to shoot pool.
Chandler: Cool, another little lie that could get me in trouble with the missus.
(Phoebe enters)
Phoebe: Hey! (to Brad) Come to mama!
Brad (hugging Phoebe): Oh Pheebs, if I weren't married I'd bend you over this couch and go to town.
Phoebe: I won't tell Jennifer if you don't. You're not gonna believe what just happened. Joey just met Jenna's older sister.
Chandler: For the love of God, that is unbelievable!
Phoebe: Shut up you dweeb, I didn't get to the unbelievable part.
Ross: That she's actually a man with breasts?
Phoebe: Joey slept with Jenna's sister.
Chandler: You're kidding me.
Phoebe: No, he admitted it to me.
Ross: What did Jenna do?
Phoebe: Jenna doesn't know. And for Joey's sake, I hope she doesn't find out.
JOEY & JENNA'S APARTMENT (Joey, Jenna, Jenna Jr. and Shannon are present)
Jenna (emerging from the bedroom): I'm gonna take a shower before we go out.
Joey: I'll help you with that.
Jenna: I can manage honey. Sit and get to know your future sister-in-law.
Joey: I feel like I already know her.
(Jenna goes into the bathroom and closes the door behind her)
Shannon: So how you've been?
Joey: Ah, good, really good. You?
Shannon: So your real name is Joey. Who the hell is Francis?
Joey: I sometimes go by my middle name.
Shannon: Those times being when you sleep with a woman with no plans on ever calling her again.
Joey: How was I supposed to know that I wind up marrying your little sister? As far as I was concerned I was never gonna see you again.
Shannon: You know, for all the great things I've heard about you from Jenna and my parents, I'm sure they'd all be shock to find out that you slept with me, gave me a fake name and promised that you'd call me.
Joey: You, you can't tell anyone, especially Jenna. It'll break Jenna's heart.
Shannon: I think Jenna has the right to know. I mean, what if you two get married and it comes out further down the line, say at Christmas. Everyone's sitting around telling stories and I accidentally let it spill that I slept with my brother-in-law four years before he got married to my little sister. How do you think she'll react then?
Joey: Why? Why do we have to tell her? It wasn't like it meant anything.
Shannon: It meant something to me you jerk. I really liked you. You think I sleep with people that I don't like?
Joey: I'm sorry, that's not what I meant. It's just that it was four years ago, four years, and I don't behave that way anymore. Jenna has transformed me into a new man.
Shannon: Then it shouldn't be difficult for you to tell the truth.
ROSS & RACHEL'S APARTMENT (Rachel, Monica and Jennifer are present)
Rachel: More wine?
Monica: None for me.
Jennifer: I'll take some more. (to Monica) Why aren't you drinking?
Monica: I can't.
Jennifer: Because you've lost the ability to swallow liquid?
Monica: I'm expecting.
Jennifer: Really?
Monica: Yeah.
Jennifer: How far along are you?
Monica: I'm not sure. My OB appointment isn't until next week.
Jennifer: Is Chandler the father?
Monica: Jennifer!
Jennifer: Sorry, I always wanted to ask that.
Rachel: What'd I miss?
Jennifer: Monica's pregnant.
Rachel: Ok, I already knew that. (looking around) Where'd Caitlin and Michael go?
Monica: They were sitting right over….where there's no one sitting now.
Jennifer: Maybe they're playing kissing games in the closet.
Rachel: They're cousins and we don't live in Appalachia. Caitlin? Michael? Come out from wherever you are.
(They all start searching the apartment. Jennifer comes to the bathroom and tries the door but it won't open)
Jennifer: Monica? Rachel? I think I found them.
Rachel: Where?
Jennifer: The bathroom door is locked.
Monica: Well unlock it.
Jennifer: If it unlocks from the outside what's the point in having a lock?
Rachel: Monica's just panicked like me. Caitlin honey, can you open the door for Mommy?
Caitlin (from inside the bathroom): Mama.
Rachel: Mama's here sweetie, you have to open the door for Mama.
Caitlin: Bye-bye.
Rachel: No, not bye-bye Caitlin, open. Say open.
Caitlin: Mama go bye-bye.
Rachel (to the others): This isn't working. How do we get the door open?
Monica: A credit card? It works on our bathroom doors.
Jennifer: We could bust down the door.
Rachel: Like any of us weigh enough to accomplish that.
Monica: God, if only I were fat again!
Jennifer: Here's a credit card.
(Rachel tries to maneuver the card into position but can't get the card under the lock)
Rachel: This isn't working. We need to call Ross. Where were they going?
Jennifer: Crogan's Bar & Grill on 7th Avenue.
Monica: Isn't that Ross' cell phone on the table?
Rachel: Son of a bitch, I told him to bring it. But does he listen to me? No. Does Chandler have his?
Monica: It's worth a try. (Monica dials Chandler's cell phone) Subscriber has traveled outside the service area. What the hell is up with that? Did he jump on a plane for Fiji?
Jennifer: Give me the phone. I'll try Brad's. (Jennifer dials and from her purse a cell phone rings) Something isn't right here. Ross leaves his phone at home, Chandler is unavailable and Brad leaves his phone in my purse. They're obviously up to no good.
Monica: Call Crogan's.
Rachel: Did they leave a number?
Jennifer: Of course not.
Rachel (on the phone): The number for Crogan's Bar & Grill please. (pause) Thanks. (dials) They were going straight there right? (Monica nods yes) Hello. I was wondering if you could page my husband for me. (pause) Yes, Ross Geller. Thanks (waits on hold - to Monica) Are Caitlin and Michael still making noise in there?
Monica: Yeah.
Rachel (on the phone): He's not. Thanks anyway. (to Monica and Jennifer) Ross wasn't there so I'm guessing that Brad and Chandler weren't as well.
Jennifer: Well we still have two children locked in a bathroom. We can yell at them later.
FLUSHING AIRPORT, QUEENS (Brad, Ross, and Chandler are present. They are being briefed on the jump)
Instructor: Each jumper will be paired with a "master". You will each wear a harness, however only the master wears the parachutes. The jumper's harness attaches to the front of the master's harness. Once we get up in the air, it will take ten minutes to reach the drop zone. Upon reaching the drop zone the plane will reduce to a speed of 100 mph. You and the master will exit the plane together and freefall for 30 seconds. The master will pull the ripcord and you'll land together under one really big parachute. Any questions?
Man: How high are we jumping from?
Instructor: 10,000 feet.
Ross: How hard will we hit the ground?
Instructor: If the chute doesn't open, pretty hard. (Everyone but Ross laughs) You will land very softly and most likely be standing up. If there aren't any more questions, we'll get the show on the road.
Ross (to Brad): There are no women master jumpers here. You promised me a big-breasted woman jumper.
Brad: I just said that to get you to come.
Chandler: I wanna go home. I wanna go home right now.
Brad: You're not going home. You're going over there, putting on your harness and preparing yourself for the thrill of a lifetime.
Ross: If my thrill of a lifetime finds out what I'm doing I'll never have another thrill ride again and I'll hold you personally responsible Brad.
CHEVY'S RESTAURANT (Joey, Jenna, Jenna Jr. and Shannon are present)
Jenna (to Shannon): Joey's an actor. He was on Days of Our Lives and General Hospital.
Shannon: That's what Mom said. He seems like a really good actor.
Joey: You're just being nice Shannon. Let's find out about you. What do you do for a living?
Shannon: No, I'm serious. You must be a really great actor who specializes in evil characters. You know the type who can easily deceive others.
Jenna: No, he's mostly played neurosurgeons.
Shannon: Jenna, do you remember that brief time that I lived in the City four years ago?
Jenna: Yeah.
Shannon: Being here tonight reminds me of a funny story. I had gone out a couple of times with this guy named Francis who was an actor (Joey kicks Shannon under the table) but it didn't work out.
Jenna: And that's your funny story?
Shannon: It was going to be but I forgot the funny part.
Jenna: I've gotta go pee. I'll be right back. (Jenna leaves the table)
Joey (to Shannon): Am I going to have to buy your silence?
Shannon: So now I'm a hooker?
Joey: What do you want from me? An apology?
Shannon: That wouldn't hurt.
Joey: Shannon, I'm sorry that I told you that my name was Francis and I'm sorry that I slept with you even though I never intended to call you again.
Shannon: Was that so hard?
Joey: So will you just let it drop?
Shannon: No.
Joey: I just apologized to you, what more do you want?
Shannon: You have to tell Jenna the truth. She deserves to know.
Joey: Fine, fine, you win. I'll tell her when we get home. But you're gonna be there when I do.
(Jenna re-joins the table)
Jenna: So how are you two getting along?
Shannon: Like we're brother and sister.
ROSS & RACHEL'S APARTMENT (Rachel, Monica, Jennifer, and their kids are present. Caitlin and Michael are still in the bathroom. Courteney is sleeping)
Monica (worried): Michael? Are you ok? Caitlin can you open the door for Aunt Monica? (to Rachel) Why aren't they responding?
Rachel: I don't know, maybe they fell asleep.
Monica: But don't you keep medicines and stuff like that in there?
Rachel: Yes, but the cabinets are child-proofed.
Monica: But one of them figured out how to lock the door so one of them is smart enough to know how to open a child-proofed cabinet!
Jennifer: Monica, calm down. Even if one of them could get a cabinet door open, all the medicine caps are child-proofed as well. They probably just fell asleep.
Monica: I got it! Call the super!
Rachel: Brilliant! Almost an hour too late but still brilliant. (Rachel goes to get the super's number)
Jennifer: We could go Jack Nicholson in The Shining on this door. Of course that would most likely scar Caitlin and Michael for the rest of their lives.
Monica: I never did see that movie.
Jennifer: It was really good, scary as hell.
(Rachel returns)
Rachel: Where's the phone?
Monica (throwing Rachel the phone): Here.
(Rachel dials)
Rachel: It's ringing. Still ringing. And I got the f^cking answering machine! Where in the hell is everyone?
Monica: Maybe he's with our husbands. (Rachel shoots Monica a look) Sorry, if you're married to a smart-ass long enough you tend to turn into one yourself.
Rachel: Hi Mr. Garcia, it's Rachel Geller from apartment 37. Ah, my child locked herself in my bathroom and I can't get the door open. I was hoping you could help me. Call me please at 555-3919. (Rachel hangs up the phone) Any other ideas?
Jennifer: Fire department?
Rachel: You think they come out for a situation like this?
Jennifer: Dunno.
Monica: Then light the God damn apartment on fire, I want my baby freed!
(There's a knock on the entry door - Rachel goes to answer the door. It's Phoebe)
Phoebe: Sure, have people over but don't invite your quirky little friend Phoebe.
Rachel: I left you a message doing just that. You didn't get it?
Phoebe: Huh. I never did check the machine when I got home. Hey Mon, Jen. What are you guys doing?
Rachel: Caitlin and Michael locked themselves in the bathroom.
Phoebe: Did you ask them to open the door?
Monica: Why didn't we think of that!
Jennifer: Monica's a little stressed out.
Phoebe: Why didn't you just take the door off its hinges?
Rachel: That'll work?
Phoebe: Sure that's how I freed my Grandma when she locked herself in the bathroom.
Jennifer: Are any of us strong enough to lift the door?
Rachel: Monica is. She may be petite but she's freakishly strong.
IN AN AIRPLANE ABOVE FERRY POINT PARK, BRONX (Ross, Chandler and Brad are present)
Instructor: Two minutes to the jump.
Chandler: I, I can't feel my hands.
Brad: You're sitting on them.
Ross: Wow, look at how cool the sky is.
Chandler: I can't do this. This is f^cking nuts.
Chandler's Jump Master: If you don't want to do it, you don't have to. But you need to make a decision in the next 30 seconds.
Brad: You're gonna be fine. The jump master isn't going to let anything happen to you. You can do this.
Instructor: Everybody up! One minute to jump. Masters, harness up with jumper and check gear.
Chandler's Jump Master: Are we a go?
Chandler: Yes, I really have to go.
Jump Master: Are you jumping?
Ross: He's jumping.
Ross' Jump Master: Don't force him.
Chandler: I'll, I'll, I'll do it.
Brad: There you go Chandler! Remember to smile guys, they're videotaping us!
Instructor: Here we go!
(The guys await their turn. Chandler and his master are the first up. They approach the door)
Instructor: And go!
(Chandler and his master jump out of the plane. Chandler is screaming f^ck at the top of lungs)
(Cut to the plane - Brad and his master are next)
Instructor: Go!
(Brad and master jump out of the plane. Brad is screaming and waving to the camera man)
(Cut to the plane - Ross and his master is the last to exit. They approach the door)
Instructor: Go!
(Instead of jumping Ross won't budge from the door)
Instructor: You either go in the next ten seconds or you're landing with the plane! (Ross peers to the ground below and then looks straight ahead. After three seconds, he gives the go ahead signal) Go!
(Ross and his master jump out of the plane. Ross covers his eyes with his hands. His master grabs Ross' arms and holds them out. After freefalling for twenty seconds, the chute is opened and they start to float to the park below.)
JOEY & JENNA'S APARTMENT (Joey, Jenna, Jenna Jr. and Shannon are present)
Jenna: Do you guys wanna rent a movie?
Joey: Maybe later.
Shannon: Can I use your phone?
Joey: Maybe later.
Jenna: Joey.
Joey: I meant that your sister and I have something to tell you. After we tell you, then she can use the phone.
Jenna: What's going on?
Joey: See the thing is, the thing that is, ah, the thing is…
Jenna: I got that part. What's the thing?
Joey: Ah, your sister and I knew each other before she came here today.
Jenna: You guys have met before? When?
Shannon: When I lived in the City four years ago.
Joey: Yeah, I was at a party and I walked in on Shannon having sex with another woman. She took the time to introduce herself before she got back to business.
Jenna/Shannon: WHAT!
Shannon: That's it! If you want the gloves to come off, I'm gonna knock your ass out!
Jenna: Someone tell me what's going on right now!
Shannon: Joey and I….
Joey: I slept with your sister four years ago.
ROSS & RACHEL'S APARTMENT (Rachel, Monica, Jennifer, Phoebe, and their kids are present. Caitlin and Michael are still in the bathroom. Courteney is asleep)
Rachel: Ok, one last pin and the door will be ready. Monica, I think we're ready for you. Monica? (to Jennifer) Where's Monica?
Jennifer: She was standing right here just a minute ago.
Phoebe: Monica?
(They start searching the apartment. Rachel finds Monica in her bedroom)
Rachel: Monica?
Monica: Yeah?
Rachel: Are you crying honey?
Monica: Yeah.
Rachel: They're gonna be ok Mon. Nothing has happened to them.
Monica: If I were paying attention to my child this wouldn't have happened.
Rachel: We can't watch them 100% of the time Mon. You're not the only one worried, I'm worried too. But if you come with me, we can get the door open and you'll see that Michael's ok, Caitlin too.
Monica: Ok.
(Rachel and Monica re-join Jennifer and Phoebe in the family room)
Rachel: Let's go open us a door.
(They walk back to the bathroom door only to find it open with Caitlin sitting next to a sleeping Michael)
Jennifer: Isn't that cute?
Rachel (picking up Caitlin): You couldn't have done that hours ago?
Monica (now holding Michael): He's just like his father, sleeps through trouble.
Phoebe: I told you all you had to do was to ask Caitlin to open the door.
(Ross, Chandler and Brad enter)
Ross: Rachel, we're back.
(The ladies join the guys in the family room)
Rachel: How was Crogan's?
Ross: Fun. Chandler kicked our ass in pool.
Brad: He was on fire, didn't miss a shot.
Jennifer: And you were there the whole time?
Ross: Of course we were.
Rachel: So you heard my page for you and you chose to ignore it.
Ross: I never heard any page. (to Brad and Chandler) Did you two hear me being paged?
Brad/Chandler: No.
Monica: Chandler honey, do you not get phone reception on 7th Avenue?
Chandler: Yeah, I get reception. Why?
Monica: Because when I called to talk to you, I got a message saying that you had traveled out of your service area.
Chandler: Must've been an error. Why were you calling?
Monica: Because Caitlin and Michael were locked in the bathroom and we couldn't get them to open the door. We needed you or Ross to come home to get the door opened.
Ross: Did you ask Caitlin to open the door?
Rachel: Ok, cut the crap. We're in the hell did you guys go?
Ross: To Crogan's.
Rachel: You're on thin ice Ross and it's starting to break, where did you go?
Brad: I convinced Chandler and Ross to go skydiving with me. We were at Flushing Airport in Queens at first and then after we jumped, we were at Ferry Point Park in the Bronx.
Jennifer (mad): You, you went skydiving again even though I asked you to cut it out?
Ross: Well he wasn't going to go but then he convinced Chandler and I to go with him.
Brad: Not helping Ross.
Rachel: What are you doing jumping out of an airplane? You can't even stand on a ladder without getting scared!
Ross: I…
Monica: What's your excuse Chandler? They made me do it?
Chandler: That and the fact that Brad said he'd give me $5,000 if I did it. I was gonna buy you a present with the money just because I love you so much.
Jennifer: Brad!
Phoebe: Did you morons at least videotape the jump?
Ross: Yes, yes we did. You can even see me throw up in mid-air.
Phoebe: Then let's put the tape in! (Sees that Rachel, Monica and Jennifer are staring at her) You can still keep on yelling at them.
JOEY & JENNA'S APARTMENT (Continued from earlier. Joey, Jenna, Jenna Jr. and Shannon are present)
Jenna: Shannon, could you take the baby over to Phoebe's? I need to have a word with Joey.
Joey: Phoebe isn't home.
Jenna: Her spare key is on the counter right over there.
(Shannon picks up Jenna Jr. and goes over to Phoebe's)
Joey: I can explain.
Jenna: Explain what! The fact that you screwed my sister four years ago and I'm finding out about a week before we're supposed to get married!
Joey: Ok, you're yelling.
Jenna: Is there anyone else in my family that you've slept with! Did you sleep with my Mom!
Joey: I'd never sleep with your Mom. She's much too old for me.
Jenna: What!
Joey: Nothing, I said nothing.
Jenna (calmer): You, you, you pulled the same crap with Shannon four years ago as you did with me at the library the first time we met didn't you? (Joey doesn't answer) Didn't you!
Joey: Yes.
Jenna: Why? Why'd you do it?
Joey: How was I supposed to know that I'd marry someone whose sister I happened to sleep with four years prior?
Jenna: That's not an explanation!
Joey: Before I fell in love with you I used to bed different women just for the fun of it. I was afraid to be serious with anyone, I was just looking to have a good time. Then I met you and I've changed so much, changed for the better. I don't want to be with anyone else, I just want to be with you.
Jenna: You do recall that we had sex at the library and that when we said goodbye you said you'd call me. You never called me.
Joey: That's not entirely true, I called you nineteen months ago to say hello and ask you out.
Jenna: That was nearly a year after we had sex at the library!
Joey: I still called.
Jenna: We're not getting married next week.
Joey: What?
Jenna: I'm not marrying you next week. I don't know if I'll ever marry you now.
Joey: Jenna, it was four years ago. I was an idiot four years ago.
Jenna: You were an idiot three years ago too! Or do you not remember promising to call me!
Joey: If I was such an idiot three years ago, then why'd you agree to go out with me nineteen months ago?
Jenna: I don't know! But right now I'm really wishing that I had changed my f^cking number!
ROSS & RACHEL'S APARTMENT (Ross, Rachel, Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Brad and Jennifer and the kids are present. They're watching the skydiving video)
Ross: Wow, look at that. The vomit went up instead of down. Now it's going down.
Brad: Yeah, your master didn't seem to appreciate you throwing up.
Monica: What were you screaming Chandler when you jumped?
Chandler: A four-letter word that starts with an "F" and rhymes with duck.
Jennifer: I can't believe that Brad got you two to do this.
Chandler: I had to do it. He questioned my manhood.
Monica: Yet I question your manhood repeatedly and you do nothing for me.
Phoebe: How high were you when you jumped?
Brad: 10,000 feet.
Phoebe: So you'd do some serious damage to the ground if your chute didn't open.
Rachel: Phoebe!
Phoebe: I'm just saying, your body would totally disintegrate upon impact. That's a sight I'd pay to see.
Jennifer: How long did you free fall?
Brad: About 30 seconds. You're stomach is pretty much in your throat until the chute opens.
Ross: Which explains why I emptied my stomach contents.
Rachel: You get sick on roller coasters Ross.
(the video ends)
Ross: That's it. That's our little adventure.
Chandler: Ready to go Mon?
Monica: Not quite.
Jennifer: You three lied to us.
Brad: Technically we stretched the truth.
Jennifer: Huh?
Brad: Ok, ok, we lied to you. But we lied for a good cause.
Rachel: How exactly is going skydiving a good cause?
Ross: We each contributed $10 to the Save the Air Foundation.
Chandler: I contributed $20.
Rachel: Well I have an idea. It's still early, early enough to go out for a while.
Ross: Where do you wanna go?
Jennifer: For a drink.
Brad: You can't take a child to a bar.
Monica: We know that.
Rachel: Monica, Jennifer and I are going out for a drink and the three of you are watching the kids until we get back.
Phoebe: You're not inviting me to go out with you guys? It's not like I have a penis!
Rachel: Of course you're invited Phoebe.
JOEY & JENNA'S APARTMENT (Joey and Jenna are present. Jenna has gone to their bedroom. Shannon enters with Jenna Jr.)
Shannon: How'd it go?
Joey: How'd it go? I'll tell you how it went. She's calling off the wedding. She won't listen to me, she doesn't even want to be in the same room as me. So how do you think it went?
Shannon: Let me talk to her.
Joey: It was you who started all this! Tell her the truth, tell her what happened between us. I'm gonna lose the best thing that ever happened to me because I listened to you!
Shannon: I know Jenna. She'll come around. All I need to do is talk with her.
Joey: Whatever. Give me my daughter and go talk with her. I can't lose her, I just can't.
(Shannon hands Joey Jenna Jr. and walks over to the bedroom and enters)
Shannon: How are you?
Jenna: Go away.
Shannon: No.
Jenna: I'm not in the mood for big sister advice at the moment. I'm not too happy with her either.
(Shannon sits down on the bed next to Jenna)
Shannon: If it's any consolation, Francis, I mean Joey, wasn't that good in bed.
Jenna: You still slept with him.
Shannon: But how was he or I supposed to know that he'd fall in love with you?
Jenna: He did the same thing to me you know. We had a fling at the library, he said he'd call and he never did.
Shannon: Then how'd you too hook back up?
Jenna: He called me out of the blue and asked me out. Like an idiot I said yes. He's just so charming. I couldn't resist him.
Shannon: He is smooth. We went out twice and the next thing I know we were bumping uglies 'til two in the morning.
Jenna: You're really not helping matters Shannon.
Shannon: Do you love him?
Jenna: What?
Shannon: Do you love him?
Jenna: What does that have to do with anything?
Shannon: It's a simple yes or no question Jenna. In spite of what you found out about today, do you still love Joey?
Jenna: Yes but….
Shannon: But what? You're going to let a little thing like me having slept with your fiancé, years ago I might add, stand in the way of your happiness?
Jenna: But….
Shannon: Yeah, he originally did the same thing to you. But he's not responsible for your actions, you were the one who agreed to go out with him when he called out of the blue.
Jenna: You're really a bitch you know that?
Shannon: I love you too. Now go tell Joey that I thought he was a lousy lover and that your wedding is back on.
Jenna: Ok.
(Jenna and Shannon get up from the bed)
Shannon: Jenna?
Jenna: Yeah?
Shannon: Not a word of this gets back to Mom and Dad.
Jenna: You don't think they'd appreciate Joey sleeping with both of their daughters?
Shannon: Only if this were a porno movie.
CLOSING CREDITS
ROSS & RACHEL'S APARTMENT (Ross, Chandler, Brad, and their kids are present. It's 2:30 in the morning and the ladies aren't home yet)
Chandler: I think our wives left us.
Ross: If they were going to do that they'd have taken the kids with them.
Brad: I just tried Jennifer's cell again but it was turned off.
Ross (looking out the window): Phoebe's place is still dark. Wait, a light just went on.
(Rachel, Monica and Jennifer stumble in the door)
Rachel: Hello!
Monica (stumbling to the bathroom): I so need to pee.
Ross: You guys said you were gonna be gone for just an hour and a half. It's 2:30 in the morning!
Jennifer: That may be, but in our defense, the bar didn't close until two.
Brad: You lied to us. You flat out lied to us. You said you'd be back by 11.
Rachel: Then consider us even on the lying thing.
Chandler (to Brad and Ross): We're a bunch of idiots. They set us up and we didn't even see it coming.
Jennifer: Bingo!