THE ONE WITH ROSS’ FLIP-FLOP
Written by: Ethan
Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me, but to Bright, Kaufman and
Crane Productions and Warner Bros. Their use is not intended for profit, only
for entertainment.
Ross: (To Rachel) You uh, you may have been right about Jill.
Rachel: Oh! I knew it! What happened?
Ross: Umm, she kissed me.
Rachel: What?! You kissed!
Chandler: (To Monica) Maybe we should give them some privacy.
Monica: (To Chandler) Shhhh!!!
Ross: Look, I uh, I tried not to kiss her, okay?
Rachel: Well, it doesn’t sound like it! I mean, it’s pretty easy not
to kiss someone, you just don’t kiss them! See look at us, right now, not
kissing!
Ross: Let me finish, okay? She started kissing me and-and I didn’t
stop it. I guess I-I just wasn’t thinking…
Rachel: Yeah that’s right you weren’t thinking! Y’know what? Let me
give you something to think about! (She pulls up her sleeves and steps towards
him.)
Ross: Oh wait—hold it! But then I started thinking and I stopped the
kissing.
Rachel: Oh, well thank you for taking your tongue out of my sister’s
mouth long enough to tell me that.
Ross: Look I-I realize if anything were to happen with me and Jill
then nothing could ever happen with us!
Rachel: What?!
Ross: No, I mean, look I don’t know if anything is going to happen
with us, again. Ever. But I don’t want to know that it-it never could. So I
stopped it and she got mad and broke my projector.
Rachel: Wow. I, I don’t even know what to say. Thank you. (Gently
kicks him.)
Ross: You’re welcome. (Gently kicks her back.)
(Chandler starts crying.)
Monica: Oh my God! Are-are you crying?
Chandler: (crying hysterically) I just don’t see why those two can’t
work things out!
(OPENING CREDITS)
CHANDLER & MONICA’S
(The next morning. Chandler and Monica are eating breakfast at the table.
The door opens and Rachel, dressed for work, walks in looking very tired).
Rachel: Good morning.
C/M: Mornin’.
Monica: My God Rachel, you look like you haven’t slept for days. What’s
wrong?
Rachel: I didn’t sleep at all last night. I was up thinking of Jill kissing
Ross. Ya know, sometimes I just hate my sister.
Chandler: Why does it bother you that Jill kissed Ross anyway? She didn’t
sleep with him.
Rachel glares at Chandler
Chandler: Well look at that, time to go to work.. Bye!
(Chandler leaves. Joey enters.)
Joey: Where’s he going in such a hurry? (Joey notices Rachel’s tired look).
What’s the matter Rach, up all night having hot sex?
(Rachel now glares at Joey.)
Joey: I think I’ll be going.
(Joey leaves).
(Rachel is now lying on the couch. Monica sits on the arm rest).
Monica: Rach, sweetie, what’s really going on?
Rachel: Mon, I really don’t want to talk about it.
Monica: Is this about what Ross said last night. Ya know, how he stopped
kissing Jill because he didn’t want to ruin any possible chance of getting back
together with you ever again?
Rachel: No. Yes. God, I don’t know. All I know is that I couldn’t sleep
because of what he said.
Monica: You Still Love Him!
Rachel: No, no I don’t. I am just upset that my sister kissed him. It’s like
incest or something. Sisters just don’t kiss each other’s ex-boyfriends.
(Phoebe enters)
Phoebe: Hey guys. What’s up?
Monica: Rachel’s still in love with Ross!
Rachel: MONICA!
Phoebe: Well of course she is, they’re lobsters. Geez, tell me something I
didn’t know.
(Ross enters)
Ross: What didn’t you know?
Phoebe: Oh, (pause) Monica and Chandler had sex on this very table last
night. (Monica glares at Phoebe) (Ross looks shocked)
Ross: Mon, that’s, that’s, that’s sick. People eat there and stuff. (Ross
notices Rachel) Rach, are you alright, you look like you didn’t sleep last
night?
Rachel: Yeah, I was up all night getting sick, must have been something I
ate.
(Ross walks over to Rachel and gives her a hug) Ross: Hope you feel better.
Well, off to class. (Ross leaves. Monica and Phoebe smile at Rachel)
Phoebe: See, lobsters.
CENTRAL PERK
(All are present)
Chandler: So what’s everyone doin tonight?
Phoebe: I am masturbating.
Ross: Thanks for informing us Phoebe.
Joey: I have a hot date with Deborah. Yeah, she’s the girl I met in my
acting class. God she’s so hot.
Chandler: Joey, for you, anything with a heartbeat and a woman’s body is
hot.
Joey: Nah uh, (pause) all right its true.
Chandler: Mon, Ross, Rachel, what are you guys doing?
Monica: Chandler, it you don’t know what we’ll be doing, then I don’t
want to be doing it with you.
Chandler: Anyway, Rach and Ross, any plans?
Rachel: I’m going home and going to bed early.
Ross: I’m gonna try and fix my projector. I still can’t believe Jill broke
it
Chandler: Come on guys, its Friday night. Geez, and you wonder why you’re
both single.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
PHOEBE AND RACHEL’S APARTMENT
(Rachel’s Bedroom. Its around 2 a.m. Rachel is in bed but is awake)
Rachel (VO): I am so tired. Why can’t I sleep. Damn it Ross, you and your
big mouth. Why do you have to say something so sweet whenever I get mad at you?
Chandler’s right, why can’t we ever seem to work things out? No, no, I am not
in love with Ross. After all, he still believes we were on a break and that it
was ok to sleep with that bitch. But why do I still get that funny feeling
everytime he does something sweet.
Rachel: That’s it. I want answers. (Rachel gets out of bed and throws some clothes
on.)
ROSS’ APARTMENT
(It’s 2:30 a.m. Rachel pounds on the door. Ross wakes up and looks at the
clock and then tries to go back to sleep. Again, Rachel pounds on the door.)
Ross: What the hell was that? (Ross gets out of bed and tries to run to the
door, but trips. Eventually, he reaches the door and opens it.)
Ross: Rach, what the hell are you doing here? It’s 2:30 in the morning.
Rachel: I need to talk to you.
Ross: It’s 2:30 in the morning. Can’t it wait until later?
Rachel: No. It’s your fault I can’t sleep?
Ross: What?
Rachel: I said it’s your fault I can’t sleep!
Ross: How?
Rachel: What, do you turn into question man at 2am? Look, you had no right
telling me that you still had hope that we would get back together.
Ross: When did I say that? (Pause) Is this about Jill and last night?
Rachel: It’s about everything Ross.
Ross: Everything? What the hell are you talking about? There’s nothing going
on between us. We’re friends remember.
Rachel: Then why did you say you still had hope that we’d get back together
someday?
Ross: No, I said I don’t know if anything is going to happen with us, again.
That’s different.
Rachel: Different?!
Ross: Yeah, different.
Rachel: How it that different?
Ross: I dunno. God, why is this bothering you so much? It’s not like we are
really ever going to get back together. You know that and I know that.
Rachel (hurt): Forget I even came here. Goodnight Ross. (Rachel turns for
the door, Ross realizes that he shouldn’t have said that).
Ross: Rach, wait. (Rachel turns around). All I meant is that I know hurt you
very bad when we were dating and I know that you can’t forgive me for what I
did.
Rachel: Do you still think you were right? Do you still think it was ok to
sleep with Chloe?
Ross (stunned): Ah, actually, no. I was wrong. I should have never slept
with Chloe. I should have let things cool down between us. Yes, I thought I was
going to lose you forever, but I was stupid to sleep with Chloe hours after
going on a break with you.
Rachel (stunned): What?
Ross: I was wrong.
Rachel: When did you flip-flop from "We were on a Break" to
"I was wrong".
Ross: After you came to London to try and stop my wedding.
Rachel: You know that I came to stop your wedding.
Ross: Yeah, Monica told me.
Rachel: Monica never keeps secrets. Ross, why didn’t you tell me about this?
Ross: I didn’t think it would matter. Besides, we broke up over two years
ago.
Rachel: Well it would have mattered.
Ross: Excuse me?
Rachel: Don’t you remember when we went to the Montauk. I made Bonnie shave
her head, you got mad, we kissed and decided to get back together. You broke it
off with Bonnie and then I gave you that 18 page letter to read which you never
finished.
Ross: Yes and I also remember that you wanted me to take full responsibility
for everything that went wrong in our relationship.
Rachel: And after we returned to NYC we consummated our relationship again
only to have you tell me we were on a break to justify sleeping with Chloe.
Ross: Of course, you goaded me into it. You honestly felt that everything
that went wrong was my fault?
Rachel: Not anymore.
Ross: Huh?
Rachel: I realized that relationships are about two people and when it
doesn’t work, both people are at fault.
Ross: What does this all mean?
Rachel: I honestly don’t know. I wonder where we would be now if we had this
talk a year ago.
Ross: Do you still love me?
Rachel: (stunned, again) Ah, No. Yes. Well maybe. Do you still love me?
Ross: Since the 9th grade.
(Ross walks over to Rachel and takes her hand. He looks into her eyes and
then gives her a hug).
Ross: See, you shouldn't be mad at Jill anymore, she's brought us closer
together.
(Rachel breaks the hug, looks at Ross, kisses him gently and then turns for the
door again)
Rachel: Goodnight Ross.
Ross: Rach, it's really late, why don't you sleep in my room, I'll take the
couch.
Rachel: Thanks. But you don't have to sleep on the couch. It's not like we
haven't slept together before. I mean, without having sex of course.
Ross: Alright. Rach, do you think we should get back together?
Rachel: Possibly. But not at 3:30 in the morning. I still tired and it's
still your fault.
CHANDLER & MONICA'S (next morning, everyone is present)
Chandler: So Ross, how was the exciting evening of fixing your slide
projector?
Ross: Great, I fixed it. You guys can over and see my new slides on the
T-Rex.
All (except Rachel): That would be great, but I'm busy.
Rachel: Sounds good to me Ross, what time should I come over. (Monica, Joey,
Chandler and Phoebe look at Rachel with smirks on their faces)
Phoebe: Are you guys lobsters again?
Joey: Why are you calling them crustaceans?
Monica: Oh my God, Joey knows what a crustacean is.
Phoebe: Well, are you?
Ross/Rachel: No. We're just really good friends.
Phoebe (to Monica under her breath): Really good friends who are lobsters
CENTRAL PERK
Joey: Hey Chandler, Baywatch starts
in five minutes. Are you coming or not?
(Chandler glances at Monica with a
"pretty please look")
Monica: Chandler, if you want to
watch scantily clothed women running around the beach instead of being with
your girlfriend then go.
Chandler (realizing what Monica is
really saying - to Joey, sadly): I can’t go.
Joey: But Chandler she just told you
that you can go.
Chandler: This coming from a man who
has never been in a relationship for more than two weeks.
Joey (puzzled): Fine, I'll see you
guys later. (Joey leaves)
Phoebe: Sounds like someone is
whooped.
Ross (mimicking Chandler): Oh
sweety, can’t I go and watch the hot women have fun in the sun.
Rachel (mimicking Monica): If you
go, then no sex for a week!
CENTRAL PERK (same as before, Joey
is not present)
Ross: So Rach, are we still going to
the movies later?
Rachel: Yeah, it starts at 7:30.
Monica: You guys are going to the
movies and you didn’t invite us? What, are we not good enough for you?
Phoebe: Oh I know what it is,
they’re secretly dating again. You know, lobsters walking along the ocean floor
together.
Rachel (quickly glancing at Ross): No,
we’re not lobsters and we’re not dating again. We just really want to see
"The Whole Nine Yards." (to Monica) Besides, you and Chandler already
saw it.
Chandler: Yeah, the guy that played
the dentist was a total geek.
Phoebe: Oh, I would love to go to
the movies with you guys.
Rachel: Ah, Phoebe, aren’t you
forgetting your date tonight with Fred?
Phoebe: No.
Rachel: Then why did you tell him
this morning that you would see him tonight?
Phoebe: Oh yeah, now I remember.
God, it sucks being blessed with a crappy memory.
Ross: Well, I have to go. Ben and I
are going to the Museum of Natural History. I’ll see you guys later. Rach, do
you wanna get dinner before the movie?
Rachel: Fine with me. How about I
meet you at your place at 5:30?
Ross: Alright, see ya then. (Ross
leaves)
Rachel (noticing Chandler, Monica
and Phoebe are staring at her)- What?
Phoebe: One word. Lobsters.
Chandler: Dinner and a movie, sounds
like a date to me.
Monica (singing): Rachel’s still in
love with Ross! Rachel is still in love with Ross!
(Rachel gets up to get more coffee
and notices Monica and Chandler mimicking her and Ross) Rachel: That’s it. I’m
leaving.
CHANDLER & MONICA’S
(Monica is tidying up the place,
notices a beer bottle on the coffee table)
Monica: (to Chandler who is entering
from their bedroom) Chandler, how many times have I told you to use a coaster.
Chandler (under his breath): That
would make it an even 1,000.
Monica: What did you say?
Chandler: Nothing sweetie. I just
said I forgot and I’m sorry.
Monica: That’s ok. Just try and
remember. I love you.
Chandler: I love you too.
(The door opens and Ross enters, he
notices that Chandler and Monica are making out in the middle of the apartment)
Ross: Hi guys. So, Chandler how does
my sister’s tonsils taste?
(Chandler and Monica break).
Chandler: Geez, doesn’t anybody
knock before they enter anymore. We could’ve been naked.
Ross: And that’s a sight I don’t
want to see.
Monica: Ross, what are you doing
here, aren’t you going to the movies with Rachel tonight?
Ross: Yeah, at 5:30. What time is
it?
Chandler (lying): 5:15.
Ross: Oh no, I better go then, see
ya later. (Ross leaves)
Monica: Honey, its only 4:30, why
did you lie to him?
(Chandler wraps his arms around
Monica and begins kissing her neck)
Monica: Oh, good idea.
Movie Theatre (Ross and Rachel are
standing in line for tickets)
Ross: Did you enjoy your dinner?
Rachel: It was alright. I kinda lost
my appetite after I found that black hair in my salad.
Ross: Well at least we ate for free.
(suddenly we hear a woman in line
calling Ross. Ross looks around and doesn't see who it is.)
Woman: Ross! How are you, dinosaur
guy?
Ross (nervously): Oh my God, ah,
Chloe, what are you doing here?
Chloe: Oh, I'm here with Gunther, we
are seeing Scream 3. (to Rachel). Oh I'm sorry, we haven't met, I'm Chloe.
Rachel (slightly upset, but
composed): Hi, I'm Rachel.
Chloe: Oh yeah, you're the girl that
Ross was so crazy about a couple of years ago. So, what, are you guys like
married now?
Ross (trying to break the tension):
Actually, funny story, we got drunk in Las Vegas, decided to get married and
then got divorced cause we couldn't get an annulment. Yep, three failed
marriages that's me.
Rachel (shooting Chloe a dirty
look): Actually Ross and I broke up three years ago because he slept with
someone else. So were not married, we're not even dating.
Chloe (realizing that Rachel is
talking about her): Okay, I think I'll be getting back to Gunther. Bye Ross,
(slight pause) Rachel. (Chloe leaves).
Ross: Rach, what did you do that
for?
Rachel: Do what?
Ross: You told her why we broke up.
Rachel: It's the truth isn't it?
Ross (pause): Yeah, it is, but I
thought we had moved passed that.
Rachel: Well, who knew that we'd
bump into that bitch tonight.
Ross: She's not a bitch.
Rachel (mad and upset): You're
defending her?
Ross: No I am just saying that she's
a nice person.
Rachel: Oh, she must be nice, you
slept with her!
Ross: Can we talk about this later?
Rachel: No. I don't want to talk
about it. I'm going home. (Rachel leaves)
Ross: Rach, wait! Damn it!
COMMERCIAL BREAK
CHANDLER & MONICA'S (Chandler
and Monica are watching TV while cuddling on the couch, Joey is in the kitchen
eating, Ross enters)
Ross (depressed): Hi.
Chandler: Aren't you suppose to be
at the movies with Rachel?
Ross: Yeah, but there was a slight
problem. We bumped into Chloe.
Monica: Who's Chloe?
Chandler (to Monica): She's the girl
he slept with after he and Rachel went on a break.
Joey: Oh yeah, she's totally hot.
Monica: Oh my God, what did Rachel
say?
Ross: She told her that she was the
reason we broke up. Then after Chloe left, she called her a bitch.
Monica: Well she is, isn't she?
Ross: No! She's a nice person.
Joey: She's hot too.
Chandler: Please tell me you didn't
defend her in front of Rachel.
Ross: I did. Look, just because
she's the reason Rach and I broke up, doesn't mean she's a bitch.
Monica: Ross, are you stupid or
something? You don't defend the person who came between lovers. If a woman came
between Chandler and I, I would call her a bitch too. In a woman's eye, she's
the enemy.
Ross: Come on Monica that was three
years ago. Just yesterday Rachel said she forgave me.
Monica: That doesn't mean she
forgot.
PHOEBE & RACHEL'S (Phoebe and
Rachel are sitting down and talking)
Phoebe: So then what happened?
Rachel: Then we bumped into Chloe.
Phoebe: Who's Chloe?
Rachel: The person Ross slept with
when we were together.
Phoebe: Oh that Chloe. Is she cute?
(Rachel glares at Phoebe)
Phoebe: No, no, that's not a good
question. Then what happened?
Rachel: She asked if we were married
and I told her no, that we broke up three years ago because he slept with
someone else. Then she quickly left. Then I called her a bitch and Ross
defended her.
Phoebe: What do you mean he defended
her?
Rachel: He said that she was a nice
person.
Phoebe: Well, can't she be a bitch
and a nice person.
Rachel: That makes no sense. You're
either a bitch or a nice person.
Phoebe: So what am I?
Rachel: Huh?
Phoebe: What am I, a bitch or a nice
person?
Rachel: We're talking about Chloe,
Phoebe. (sees Phoebe is waiting for an answer) You're a nice person.
(there is a knock on the door,
Rachel goes to get it, it's Mark)
Mark: Hey Rachel, I was in the
neighborhood so I figured I stop by.
Phoebe (smitten): Hi Mark, I'm
Phoebe.
Rachel: So Mark, how are you?
Mark: I'm good, though I just broke
up with my girlfriend. Apparently she was sleeping with someone else. Kinda
like what Ross did to you Rach.
Rachel (now cleupset and holding
back tears): I'll, I'll be right back. I have to, I have to go to the bathroom.
(With that Rachel walks into her bedroom instead of the bathroom)
Mark (to Phoebe): Did I say
something wrong?
Phoebe: No, she's just had a bad
day.
Mark: I am going to talk with her.
(there is a knock at the door and
Phoebe goes and answers it)
Ross: Hey Pheebs, is Rachel here, I
need to talk to her.
Phoebe: Yeah, she's in her bedroom.
I wouldn't go in there though. She's pretty upset and….(watches Ross open
Rachel's bedroom door and look in and notice Mark closely hugging Rachel who is
crying) Mark is here.
Ross (shocked, jealous and upset):
Oh, um, I'll come back later.
Mark: Don’t go, I am just leaving.
(to Rachel) See ya later. Ross, good to see you again.
Ross: Mark.
Mark: Bye Phoebe.
Phoebe: Mark, I'll walk you out.
(Phoebe and Mark leave. Cut back to Rachel's bedroom).
Rachel (sobbing): Ross, go away. I
can't talk to you right now.
Ross: No, I am staying. I have
something to say and you're going to hear it.
Rachel: Please just go away.
Ross (Ross goes over and sits next
to Rachel on her bed): Look Rach, I love you. I always have and always will. I
love you more than life itself. I know it was painful for you to see Chloe
tonight. It was painful for me to see Mark. But, my love for you is stronger
than that. If I didn't feel the pain, I would know that I don't love you. But
it hurts so bad to see you with Mark at any time because I love you so much.
What happened between us in the past is in the past. We can't change what
happened but we can forgive and move on.
Rachel: It's not going to work Ross.
I love you too. But after tonight, it seems like the stars are aligned against
us. How else can you explain seeing Chloe and Mark on the same night? The same
night that I have been waiting for for over a year and we meet up with both of
them. I want us again too, but I just don't think will make it. I can't go
through the pain again if we were to break-up.
Ross: We won't break-up.
Rachel: That's what you said last
time.
Ross: Rachel, we both have grown.
Our friendship has grown. We're meant for each other.
Rachel: No, it's too hard. We're
better off as friends. Could you please leave, its hard enough as it is.
Ross: No, I won't leave. Not until I
convince you that we're meant to be.
Rachel: Damn it Ross, there is no
us, there will never be us again, accept that.
Ross (hurt): You know that's what
you told me the night we first got together.
Rachel: Ross, I'm serious. There is
no us. You should go.
Ross (still hurt): Fine, but before
I go I have to do one thing. (Ross takes Rachel by the hand, briefly looks into
her eyes, and kisses Rachel. Rachel is caught off guard, and then gets into the
kiss. After a minute, they break.)
Ross: Sorry, I needed one since
we'll never be together again. I'll see you later. (Ross gets up and heads for
the bedroom door).
Rachel: Ross wait! (Rachel gets off
the bed and walks towards Ross).
Ross (stops at the door): What?
Rachel: Please don't go.
Ross (laughing): Geez Rach, make up
your mind. Should I stay or should I go?
Rachel: Stay. (Rachel grabs Ross'
hand and pulls him close to her). I love you.
Ross: I love you too. (Ross begins
to kiss Rachel and clothes start coming off…)
CENTRAL PERK (the next morning.
Monica, Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler are present)
Phoebe: I am telling ya, they got
back together last night.
Joey: Who got together?
Monica: Ross and Rachel you idiot.
Chandler: Joe, haven't you been
listening to the conversation?
Joey: No, I have been checking out
the hot girl over there. (Chandler turns around and looks and Monica hits him
in the stomach)
Chandler (to Monica): What did you
do that for? I was just looking for Ross and Rachel.
Monica: Save it Chandler. (to Phoebe)
How do you know they got back together?
Phoebe: Well duh. Ross came to the
apartment last night and he never left. Besides I kept hearing Rachel say his
name over and over again. Its any wonder how I slept at all last night.
Monica: Oh my God, then it must be
true. Either that or Rachel was having an erotic dream.
Joey (who's still only half
listening): What's an erotic dream?
Chandler: When you see naked chicks
in your sleep Joey.
Joey: I have those dreams all the
time, they're so cool. Rachel dreams about naked chicks too. That's so cool.
Monica: No you idiot. Rachel dreams
about naked guys.
Joey: Oh, then that's not fun.
Chandler: It is if you're my dad.
(Ross and Rachel walk in, Ross goes
to the counter to get their coffee)
Monica: So Rachel, how was last
night?
Rachel: Fine.
Monica: Just fine, you don't have
any news to tell us?
Rachel: News about what?
(Ross returns from the counter)
Ross: Here you go Rach. Hey guys!
Phoebe (to Ross): So, how is Luke
Skywalker this morning? (the others, except for Rachel, laugh)
Ross (realizing Phoebe knows what
happened): Huh?
Phoebe: Is your lightsaber still
working, or did you burn it out?
Ross: Very funny Phoebe. Rach, are
you ready to go?
Rachel: Sure, I really didn't want
this coffee anyway.
Chandler: Come on guys, we just want
to know. Are you guys back together?
Ross/Rachel: Yes.
All: Congratulations, Great, etc.
Phoebe: See, reunited lobsters.
ENDING CREDITS
CENTRAL PERK (everyone is still
there. Rachel gets up to get something at the counter, Joey notices and joins
her.)
Joey: So Rach, you dream about naked
guys huh. Am I one of the guys?
Rachel: What?! Joey, you're sick.
And no, I don't dream about you naked. (Rachel returns to the couch)
Joey (talking to no one in particular,
Gunther however is right in front of him at the counter): Well I dream about
you being naked.
Gunther: I dream about you too Joey.