THE ONE WITH THE BUSINESS TRIPS
-PART II
Written by: Ethan
Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me, but to Bright, Kauffman and Crane Productions and Warner Bros. Their use is not intended for profit, only for entertainment.
ROSS & RACHEL'S FLAT (Ross, Caitlin, Joey and Jenna Jr. are present)
Joey: I just can't believe my best friend is sleeping with my wife.
Ross: Joey, Chandler and Jenna are merely sharing a room. They're not sleeping with one another.
Joey: So you're saying that if Rachel and I went on a business trip together and we wound up having to share a room that you'd be ok with it?
Ross: Yeah because Rachel is my wife and I trust her.
Joey: And what if I accidentally saw her naked?
Ross: I'm sure that wouldn't happen.
Joey: But what if it did?
Ross: Then it was an accident and there's nothing I can do about it.
Joey: I think Chandler saw Jenna naked.
Ross: What?
Joey: It's in the air.
Ross: You're delusional.
Joey: Am I?
Ross: You're certifiable Joe. Chandler didn't see Jenna naked. They're merely sharing a room.
Joey: 'Cause if Chandler did see Jenna naked you know what that means?
Ross: That he saw her naked on accident?
Joey: It means I get to see Monica naked.
Ross: Yeah, good luck on achieving that goal.
OPENING CREDITS
HILTON HOTEL - LOS ANGELES (Chandler and Jenna have just returned from the conference)
Chandler: Well that was an entire waste of eight hours.
Jenna: I found it interesting.
Chandler: Then maybe you should do my job.
Jenna: And you do mine?
Chandler: No. Like I know anything about accounting.
Jenna: Well you know hardly anything about advertising yet you somehow head up the division.
Chandler: I should've strangled you last night while I had the chance.
Jenna: Give me a break, one swift knee jerk and you'd have been singing soprano for the rest of your life. Wanna go grab some dinner?
Chandler: You mean together?
Jenna: Well it kind of sucks eating by yourself, so yeah.
Chandler: We can do dinner. It'll be just two friends having dinner together.
Jenna: If it'll be any easier for you, we can say that it's just two co-workers eating together.
Chandler: That would be easier to explain to the wife.
Jenna: I really don't think Monica would care.
Chandler: But Joey would. He's probably all freaked out that we're sharing a hotel room.
Jenna: He is not. Joey's more mature than that.
Chandler: The man still plays with matchbox cars.
Jenna: Ok, so he's stuck in adolescence, but he's not the type of guy to get all freaked out over me sharing a room with you.
Chandler: Yeah, you're probably right. Let's go eat.
Jenna (sexily): Then we can come back here for dessert.
Chandler: What!
Jenna: Just kidding.
Chandler: I knew that.
Jenna: You did not.
WYNDHAM HOTEL - KANSAS CITY (Rachel is preparing her notes for her next meeting)
Rachel: Let's see here. Five people being let go all at once. What are the odds of them overpowering me and throwing me out the window? (pause) Yeah, they're pretty good. (the phone rings) Hello? (pause) Hi Katie. (pause) Just preparing for my death. (pause) What? (pause) But they're all on their way here as we speak. (pause) Ok, I'll let them go one at a time. Do you have any other surprises? (pause) Ok, that's not funny at all. (pause) I'll call you when I'm done. (pause) No, I don't want to fly to Chicago next. I want to go home. (pause) Then I'll go next week. (pause) Ok, talk to you later. (Rachel hangs up the phone) Go to Chicago tonight, over my dead body. (There's a knock on the door. Rachel gets up to answer it. She opens the door and there are four women and a man waiting for her) Hi. I'm Rachel. I'll be meeting with each of you on an individual basis. Let's see, I'll meet with Becky McDougal first. The rest of you may go down to the lobby and I'll have you paged when it's your turn.
Woman #2: Good luck Becky.
Becky: Have fun down in the lobby guys.
(Becky enters Rachel's room as the others head down to the lobby)
Rachel: Have a seat Becky.
Becky: You don't remember me do you?
Rachel: I'm sorry?
Becky: We went to Lincoln High together. We were on the cheerleading squad together.
Rachel: I remember a Becky Robbins from high school but not a Becky McDougal.
Becky: McDougal is my marital name. Robbins was my maiden name.
Rachel: Oh my God! It's really you! God how long has it been since we've seen each other?
Becky: Since graduation.
Rachel: How'd you wind up in Kansas City?
Becky: My husband pitches for the Kansas City Royals.
Rachel: And who are they?
Becky: They're the professional baseball team here in Kansas City.
Rachel: Wow. Is he successful?
Becky: He's in his rookie year.
Rachel: So what does that mean?
Becky: It means it's his first season in the major leagues. So why am I here?
Rachel: So do you keep up with anyone from high school?
Becky: No, moving to Kansas City made that kind of tough. So why am I here?
Rachel: Do you remember Monica Geller?
Becky: Yeah, she was the heavy-set girl.
Rachel: She's my sister-in-law now and she's not fat anymore either.
Becky: Well that's great but I'd really like to know why I'm here.
Rachel: But I really don't want to tell you why you're here just yet.
Becky: There are a lot of rumors going around the office that you're here to let everyone go. Any truth to the rumors?
Rachel: There are rumors?
Becky: Yes. Are they true or not?
Rachel: Well the truth can be a tricky proposition.
Becky: Why don't we just cut the crap and get down to business Rachel?
Rachel (after a long pause): The rumors are true. The entire division is being shut down. Effective today you are no longer an employee of Victoria's Secret. You will receive a three- month severance package plus cash for all unused vacation time. You are to go back to the office where you will be met by security and you will be expected to clean out your desk and vacate the premises.
Becky: I see. Can I ask what prompted this decision?
Rachel: Unfortunately your division wasn't performing up to company standards and in an effort to cut costs and boost profitability the decision was made to close the division.
Becky: Why didn't anyone at corporate inform us that we weren't performing up to standards? Why didn't anyone give us the chance to turn things around?
Rachel: I'm not in the position to divulge that information to you, I hope you understand.
Becky: Well I don't understand.
Rachel: I'm sorry but there's nothing I can do about it. The decision has been made and it's my job to see that it's executed.
Becky: Well I guess that's it then. Have a good day Rachel.
Rachel: You don't have to go. We can still catch up from high school.
Becky: Yeah, I don't think so. You see the thing is, I didn't really like you all that much in high school so I really have no interest in finding out how you rose to the top of the pyramid again. Goodbye.
(Becky leaves)
Rachel: I had to be a bitch in high school. Screw Katie, I'm getting this over with all at once. (picks up the phone) Hi front desk? Yes, could you please page the following people? Yes, please page Kate Zuckerman, Martha Franks, Dave Childress and Amy Casey. Ask them to report to my room. Thank you. (hangs up the phone) I let your asses go and catch the early flight to New York.
ROSS & RACHEL'S FLAT (Ross, Caitlin, Joey, Jenna Jr., Phoebe, Monica and Michael are present)
Phoebe: So Joe, any more word from Jenna?
Joey: She left another message saying everything was fine.
Phoebe: I wouldn't worry too much sweetie, I'm sure Chandler's treating her just right.
Monica: Phoebe, don't add fuel to his fire. Nothing's gonna happen Joey.
Joey: I know. And if it did, I'd just have to kill Chandler.
Monica: Well if something did happen Joe, you'd have to get in line. I'm killing him first.
Ross: Would you all stop? They're merely sharing a hotel room and besides if Chandler did anything stupid I'd kill him before either of you could get your hands on him.
Phoebe: Please Ross, you couldn't even hurt a fly.
Monica: Well I have to go to work. I'll pick up Michael in the morning Ross.
Ross: Ok.
Phoebe: Bye Mon.
Monica: Bye guys. (Monica leaves)
Phoebe: Joey? (Joey doesn't answer her) Joey!
Joey: What!
Phoebe: Look at your daughter.
(The camera cuts to Jenna Jr. who has pulled herself up to a standing position against the coffee table)
Joey: Oh my God! (Joey rushes over by Jenna Jr.) What you doing sweetie?
Ross: She's never done that before?
Joey: No. This is the first time. Do you have a camera or something?
Ross: Yeah let me get the video camera.
(Jenna Jr. falls down)
Joey: Aw crap. She fell.
Phoebe: Well she might do it again.
Joey: Come on honey, pull yourself up again.
Ross: I got the video camera.
Joey: Come on Jet, pull yourself back up.
Phoebe: Maybe she'll do it again if we don't watch her.
Joey: Good idea. Ok, everyone leave the flat.
Ross: We can't leave the flat Joe, we have two other kids here.
Joey: Ok, ok, I know. We'll just act like we're not watching her.
Phoebe (sarcastically): Which will be really easy for you since you're an actor after all.
Joey (missing Phoebe's meaning): And a good one at that.
Ross: I'm gonna go check on Michael and Caitlin. It's awfully quiet in that bedroom. (Ross goes into Caitlin's room) Michael! Caitlin! Stop taking off your clothes!
Phoebe: Sounds like they were about to get busy with one another.
(Ross emerges with Michael and Caitlin)
Ross: You two play in here.
Phoebe: Why can't they play in Caitlin's room?
Ross: They were taking off their clothes.
Phoebe: Maybe they just wanted to play doctor.
Ross: They're cousins!
Phoebe: That doesn't stop the hill people.
Joey: Who are the hill people?
Ross: Never mind Joe.
Phoebe: She's doing it again.
Ross: Caitlin!
Phoebe: Not Caitlin, Jet.
(Jenna Jr. has once again pulled herself up into a standing position against the coffee table)
Ross: Turn on the camera Joe.
Joey: How! There're too many buttons!
Ross: Push the "on" button.
Joey (fumbling with the camera): It's not turning on!
Ross: Give it to me. (Joey throws him the camera) Are you crazy? This is expensive.
Joey: Just turn on the stupid video camera!
Ross (handing the camera back to Joey): Ok, here you go.
Joey: Ok sweetie, smile for the….she fell down again.
Phoebe: I guess we all go back to being actors again.
HILTON HOTEL - LOS ANGELES (Chandler and Jenna have just returned from dinner)
Jenna: Thanks for buying dinner.
Chandler: Well my expense account is bigger than yours.
Jenna: What is it with men and the size of their things?
Chandler: I think it's a pride issue.
Jenna: Now what?
Chandler: Beats me.
Jenna: What time's our flight tomorrow?
Chandler: 9 in the morning.
Jenna: Wanna see if there's a red eye out of here tonight?
Chandler: And miss spending the night with you again?
Jenna: I know I'm fun to sleep with but I think our spouses would appreciate it if we got in early tomorrow morning.
Chandler: You're not fun to sleep with.
Jenna: I beg your pardon?
Chandler: You snore.
Jenna: I do not snore. If anyone snores, it's you.
Chandler: Please, you kept me up half the night with your snoring.
Jenna: Then I guess that's all the more reason to see if we can get a red eye out tonight.
Chandler: Call the airline.
Jenna: Why should I call the airline?
Chandler: Because it was your idea. If I had had the idea I would've called the airline.
Jenna: Fine, I'll call the airline. It's not like you ever have any ideas of your own anyway.
Chandler: I, I, I, I don't have a comeback for that.
Jenna (picking up the phone): What airline are we flying anyway?
Chandler: United.
Jenna: Hello? Could I have the number for United Airlines ticketing? (pause) Thank you very much. (hanging up and dialing) Great, the "your on hold" message.
Chandler: See if you can get seats in business class.
Jenna: We're supposed to fly coach.
Chandler: I know, I'll just tell Donna that an emergency at home required us to fly business class.
Jenna: You enjoy walking the fine line don't you?
Chandler: Only when I don't fall off into the pile of crap.
Jenna: Hello? (pause) Yes, I was wondering if there were any flights to New York City leaving tonight? (pause) For two. (pause) At 11:30 but only in first class?
Chandler: Take them.
Jenna: Could you hold on a sec? (putting her hand over the receiver) Are you crazy? We can't fly first class Donna will kill us.
Chandler: Just book the tickets. I'll make up the difference. It's not like my expense account doesn't go through your office before Donna's.
Jenna: Yes, I'd like to book those two tickets. Yes, the first passenger is Chandler Bing, and the second, Jenna Tribbiani. We're booked on tomorrow morning's flight at 9 o'clock. Can we make up the difference in fare when we pick up the tickets? (pause) Great. Thanks a lot. (hangs up the phone) We leave tonight at 11:30.
Chandler: Into what airport?
Jenna: JFK.
Chandler: That's gonna put us in rush hour traffic in the morning!
Jenna: You just said book the tickets!
Chandler: What's the difference in fare?
Jenna: Believe it or not, only $100.
Chandler: Why isn't it more?
Jenna: I don't know. Maybe they haven't sold out first class yet.
Chandler: Well it's 7:00 now. We still have three hours to kill.
Jenna: Any suggestions?
Chandler: Only ones that would get me in serious trouble with my wife and your husband.
Jenna (sexily): Really?
Chandler: Stop doing that!
Jenna: You know what you should do? You should leave Monica a message saying that you have to stay an extra day.
Chandler: What? Why would I want to do that?
Jenna: Because this way when you get home tomorrow morning she'll be completely surprised.
Chandler: Oh, I like that idea. Are you going to do the same to Joey?
Jenna: Ah no. I'm sure Joey's flipping out over the fact that we're sharing a room.
Chandler: But you said earlier that he wasn't.
Jenna: I lied. I think the minute he sees you he'll want to kill you. And wait until he finds out that you saw my naked breasts.
Chandler: Um, I thought that incident was between us?
Jenna: Let's just call it leverage. I'll have you under my thumb for a long time.
Chandler: That's extortion!
Jenna: You saw me semi-naked Chandler. For that you must pay the price.
Chandler: How much do you want?
Jenna: I don't want money and I'm totally kidding, I'm not telling Joey or anyone else for that matter what happened.
Chandler: You're not the sweet innocent Jenna I thought you were.
Jenna: I'm a devil in an angel's disguise.
ROSS & RACHEL'S FLAT (Ross, Caitlin, Joey, Jenna Jr., Phoebe, and Michael are present)
Ross: Michael, Caitlin, it's time for bed.
Caitlin: No.
Ross: Yes, it's time for bed.
Caitlin: No.
Michael: No.
Phoebe: I don't think they want to go to bed Ross.
Ross: I can see that Phoebe.
Joey: Come on Jet, stand up again.
Phoebe: Joey, it's after her bedtime, shouldn't you take her home and put her to bed?
Joey: We're not going home until she pulls herself up again.
Ross: Come on Michael and Caitlin, it's bedtime.
Caitlin: No!
Ross: You're going to bed. Come on.
Caitlin: No.
Ross (picking up Michael and Caitlin): Sorry guys, but it's bedtime. (Caitlin starts crying which causes Michael to cry) See, you're crying because you're tired.
Phoebe: I think they're crying because they don't want to go to bed.
Ross: Don't you have some séance to go to? (Ross goes into Caitlin's room)
Phoebe: Joey?
Joey: Phoebe?
Phoebe: Turn the video camera on.
Joey: Why? (pause - looks over his shoulder to see Jenna Jr. standing against the coffee table again) This is it!
Phoebe: Don't startle her.
Joey (going to the opposite side of Jenna Jr.): Jet, look at the camera. Smile for the camera. Look at Daddy's little girl, standing up all by herself.
(Ross emerges from Caitlin's room)
Ross: Cool, she's doing it again.
Joey: I've got it on tape this time. I can't wait to show Jenna.
Phoebe: That's if she still wants to be married to you after being with Chandler for the past three days.
Ross: Phoebe!
Joey: Does this mean she's gonna be walking soon?
Ross: Maybe, it's definitely a step in that direction.
(Jet falls back to the floor)
Joey: I just can't believe it. I finally saw a first for my little girl.
Ross: Pretty exciting eh?
Joey: Totally. (picking up Jet) Good job sweetie. It's time to go home and go to bed. (to Ross) Can I bring this home?
Ross: Yeah, just bring it back after you've had the chance to show Jenna.
Joey: I'll see you guys later. God, this has totally made my day.
Phoebe: Bye Joey, bye Jet.
Joey: Thanks again Ross.
Ross: What'd I do?
Joey: Everything man. Without your coffee table, she wouldn't have had anything to pull herself up to.
Ross: Glad to be of service then.
Joey: See ya.
Ross: See you Joey. Goodnight Jet.
Phoebe: Give my love to Chandler and Jenna. (Joey shoots Phoebe a dirty look) Kidding as usual.
(Joey and Jenna Jr. leave)
Ross: Thanks for coming over to entertain the kids again Phoebe.
Phoebe: It's not like I have a love life or anything.
Ross: You'll meet someone.
Phoebe: Oh, I totally know that. It's just that Mars is in retrograde at the moment so my chances of meeting someone aren't that good right now. But next month, Mars will be in a more favorable position.
Ross: Ok, I don't know what you're talking about but if you do, then I'll go with it.
Phoebe: You do realize that Caitlin and Michael are still crying.
Ross: Yeah.
Phoebe: And you're just going to let them cry?
Ross: Pretty much.
Phoebe: Don't you think that's a little mean?
Ross: No not at all.
Phoebe: But they're crying.
Ross: I know that. But I have to keep the same bedtime for Caitlin each night. If she gets out of her routine, she becomes extremely difficult to deal with. They'll cry for another ten minutes or so and then they'll fall asleep.
Phoebe: Ok, I didn't understand that but you obviously did so I'll go with it. I'll see you tomorrow.
Ross: See you later and thanks for coming over again. (Phoebe leaves)
MONICA & CHANDLER'S FLAT (Monica has just gotten in from work. She's checking the answering machine)
Machine: You have one new message. "Hi honey it's me. Look, I have some bad news but I have to stay an extra day in LA. I'm so sorry. I'll try to catch you in the morning. Love you. (pause) Oh, this is Chandler by the way."
Monica: Well that just ruined my day.
ROSS & RACHEL'S FLAT (Ross, Caitlin, and Michael are present. It's 2 am. Rachel enters the flat. She puts her bags down and goes directly to the master bedroom)
Rachel (kissing Ross on the forehead): I'm home.
Ross (waking up): Rachel?
Rachel: Hi.
Ross (sitting up and turning on the light): What are you doing home already? I thought you weren't due home until tomorrow night?
Rachel: I finished early so I caught the next flight out.
Ross: How was your trip?
Rachel: Honestly, it sucked.
Ross: What happened?
Rachel: I had to lay off an entire division is what happened. By the end, I was letting people go like I was a machine, like I didn't have any feelings.
Ross: You're not a machine honey, you're just in tough position right now.
Rachel: Do you remember Becky Robbins from high school?
Ross: Yeah.
Rachel: Well she's now known as Becky McDougal. Anyway, I had to let her go too and she said something to me that really bothered me. She said that she didn't really like me in high school and didn't really care how I got to the top of the pyramid again.
Ross: Well it's kind of hard to let someone go and expect them to see you in a positive light.
Rachel: I totally know that. It's just that here I went to high school with this person, we were on the cheerleading squad together and fifteen years later I'm letting her go from her job. I just wasn't expecting it. I wasn't expecting my behavior in high school to come back to haunt me.
Ross: What do you mean?
Rachel: I mean that I was a bitch in high school. Her comments reinforced that fact.
Ross: But you're a totally different person now than you were in high school.
Rachel: Not to Becky McDougal. In fact, not to any of the other people I let go. I was merely a corporate bigwig with a heavy hand. I had people cussing me out, threatening lawsuits, and shooting imaginary daggers at my heart. I was the bitch from corporate sent to Kansas City to clean house. I don't like being a bitch.
Ross: I don't think you're a bitch. I just think you're someone who's doing their job and right now that job entails letting people go. I'm sure you handled each exit interview with tact and sensitivity and that's all you can really do. You're not responsible for other people's feelings.
Rachel: It's just really hard sitting across the table from someone and telling them that they're out of a job.
Ross: Yeah, I wouldn't want to be in your position. But look at it this way, you're doing the job that your boss is asking you to do. Maybe you do have to detach your personal feelings when you're laying people off. It's nothing really personal between you and that person, it's just business.
Rachel: Yeah, I think you're right. Move over, I'm really tired.
Ross: You're not going to get changed?
Rachel: I'm too exhausted to even get changed.
Ross: Ok.
(Rachel climbs in bed next to Ross)
Rachel: Ross?
Ross: Yeah?
Rachel: Thanks for talking to me.
Ross: Anytime. I'm glad your home.
Rachel: Me too.
MONICA & CHANDLER'S FLAT (Monica and Michael are present. Monica is preparing Michael his breakfast)
Monica: Here comes the yummy Cheerios.
Michael: Juice?
Monica: You can have some juice. Here are your Cheerios and Mommy will get you some juice.
(Chandler silently enters the flat)
Michael: Dada.
Monica (her back to Michael and Chandler): Daddy won't be home until tomorrow sweetie.
Chandler: You should really check over your shoulder before you assume something like that.
Monica: Chandler!
Chandler: Hello dear.
Monica: But I thought you said you had to stay in LA for an extra day?
Chandler: I lied. I just wanted to surprise you.
Monica: You lied to me?
Chandler: For the element of surprise. Not like really lie to you, I wouldn't do that.
Monica: What are you doing home so early?
Chandler: Jenna and I caught a red eye late last night. We both wanted to get home.
Monica: How was your trip?
Chandler: Well the conference really sucked but having Jenna there made it bearable.
Monica: So now you and Jenna have this thing going on. I hear sharing a room will do that to you.
Chandler: Hot and heavy.
Monica: You're a terrible liar.
Chandler: Only because I can't lie to you. Did you get the flowers?
Monica: Yes.
Chandler: And the tape?
Monica: Yes.
Chandler: Do you forgive me for springing this trip on you at the last moment?
Monica: I haven't made up my mind yet.
Chandler: Well how can I help you make up your mind?
Monica: Kissing me hello would be a major step in the right direction.
Chandler: Close your eyes Michael, this could get a little sloppy.
JOEY & JENNA'S APARTMENT (Joey and Jenna Jr. are present as Jenna enters)
Jenna: Hi!
Joey: Do I know you?
Jenna: Shut up and kiss me.
(Joey kisses Jenna)
Joey: How was your trip?
Jenna: It was fine.
Joey: So you shacked up with my best friend.
Jenna: We merely shared a room Joe, nothing happened. Chandler was the perfect gentleman.
Joey: Wait a minute, wait a minute, he saw you naked!
Jenna: He did not!
Joey: Yes he did! I can see it in your eyes!
Jenna: Have you started smoking pot again?
Joey: No.
Jenna: Because you're being delusional. Chandler did not see me naked.
Joey: So nothing happened?
Jenna: No. Nothing happened. We merely shared a room.
Joey: And where did Chandler sleep?
Jenna: On the bed.
Joey: Next to you?
Jenna: Yes, but nothing happened. It was a king-sized bed, we were far apart from one another. Christ Joey, don't you trust me?
Joey: I'm sorry, I totally trust you. Of course nothing happened.
Jenna: I love you, not Chandler. Chandler's not even my type.
Joey: Yeah, he's not my type either. And you're positive that Chandler didn't see you naked? You wouldn't keep something like that from me.
Jenna (after a long pause): Ok, Chandler walked in on me while I was getting dressed and he saw my boobs. He was extremely embarrassed and apologized immediately.
Joey (calmly): So he saw you naked?
Jenna: He saw my breasts. It was an accident.
Joey: Ok. I'll be right back.
Jenna: Where are you going?
Joey (as he leaves): To look at Monica's breasts.
Jenna: Joey! Come back here!
MONICA & CHANDLER'S FLAT (Monica, Chandler and Michael are present)
Monica: Aren't you tired?
Chandler: My body has no idea what time it is. (The phone rings - Chandler answers) Hello? (pause) Hey Jenna. (pause) What! (pause) And he's on his way here? (pause) I don't know, I'll think of something. (pause) Well I do have Monica to protect me. She is freakishly strong after all. (pause) Ok bye.
Monica: What was that all about?
Chandler: Something happened between Jenna and I when we were in LA.
Monica: Oh?
Chandler: It was a complete accident. She told me she was going to shower so I left the room to go get the newspaper. When I came back to the room I entered to find Jenna getting dressed and accidentally saw her breasts.
Monica: An accident?
Chandler: Yes, I was totally embarrassed. I thought she would've put the do not disturb sign on the door if she was getting dressed but she didn't.
Monica: So it was an accident. Why is Jenna making such a big deal out of it?
Chandler: She isn't. Joey is. Joey's on his way over here.
(Joey enters)
Joey: You saw my wife's breasts!
Chandler: It was an accident Joe, a total accident.
Joey: Well the way I see it there's only one way to level the playing field here. I get to see Monica's breasts.
Monica: What!
Joey: That's right. I get to see your breasts since your husband saw my wife's breasts.
Monica: I'm not showing you my breasts Joey.
Joey: But I think you are. It's only fair.
Monica: Think again. There's no way in hell I'm showing you my breasts.
Joey (to Chandler): Then you’re a dead man.
Chandler: It was an accident Joey!
Joey: I don't care! You saw my wife's breasts and I want payback!
Chandler (moving behind Monica): He's going to kill me.
Monica: He's not seeing my breasts!
Joey: So you have to hide behind Monica because you're afraid of me.
Chandler: You're making way to big of a deal out of this Joe. It was an accident.
(Jenna and Jenna Jr. enter)
Jenna: Joey!
Joey: What are you doing here?
Jenna: I'm here to bring you home.
Joey: I'm not going home until I see Monica's breasts.
Jenna: Let me put it this way, you see Monica's breasts under these circumstances and I'm taking Jet and going to my parents for the near future.
Joey: What?
Jenna: I mean it, you continue to act like a child and I'll leave for my parents immediately.
Joey (whining): But Chandler saw you naked!
Jenna: It was an accident. It could've easily been the other way around.
Monica: Don't worry Jenna, you're not missing much.
Chandler: Thank you for that.
Jenna: Look Joey, it was a mistake. That's all it was, a mistake. Trust me, Chandler was totally embarrassed.
Joey: Why'd he be embarrassed, you have beautiful breasts?
Jenna: Thanks sweetie. The point is that Chandler was embarrassed because he knew that he shouldn't be seeing me partially naked because he's a married man and I'm a married woman. It was an accident.
Joey: Ok. (pause) I still think Monica should flash me her boobs.
Jenna: Monica doesn't have anything to do with this Joe. She wasn't there so don't drag her into this situation. Now let's go home, I didn't sleep on the plane and I'm really tired.
Joey: Fine. (walking past Chandler) This isn't over. (Jenna slaps Joey on the head) Ow!
Jenna: It is over. See you guys later.
Monica: See ya.
(Jenna, Joey and Jenna Jr. leave)
Chandler: Thank God for Jenna.
Monica: What's that supposed to mean?
Chandler: I mean she just saved me from a beating by calming down Joey.
Monica: At least she saved you from one beating.
Chandler: Huh?
Monica: You've got my beating coming to you.
Chandler: Why? Why? What'd I do?
Monica: You purposefully walked in on Jenna. You waited for the right moment and burst in on her.
Chandler: I did not! It was a complete accident!
Monica: Please honey, Jenna's a beautiful woman, you honestly expect me to believe that you seeing her naked breasts was an accident?
Chandler: Very much so!
Monica: I don't think so.
Chandler: No, think so, think so.
Monica: So were they nicer than my mine?
Chandler: What?
Monica: Were they nicer than my mine?
Chandler: I didn't even look long enough to be able to even answer that!
Monica: I'm hurt. You honestly think she has better breasts than I do.
Chandler: No, no, no, no, no, no! I don't think that at all! I love your breasts. They're the best breasts in the world. The best breasts I've had the privilege of squeezing and playing with.
Monica: So let me get everything straight. First you tell me about this trip at the last moment. Then you wind up having to share a room with Jenna in LA where you not only walk in on her when she's changing but you sleep on the same bed at night with her. Then you lied to me about having to stay an extra day in LA only to show up here a day early. Finally, you wait to tell me that you saw Jenna's breasts only after she calls to warn you that Joey was on his way over. This all sound about right to you?
Chandler: Yes.
Monica: Are you ready to hear your sentence?
Chandler: Yes.
Monica: You are hereby sentenced to spend a day in bed with your pregnant wife until she has to leave for work.
Chandler: That's a stiff sentence.
Monica: I can see that by the bulge in your pants.
CLOSING CREDITS
ROSS & RACHEL'S FLAT (Ross, Rachel and Caitlin are present)
Rachel: Look, Katie's gonna try to track me down so when she calls here tell her you haven't seen me.
Ross: You want me to lie to your boss?
Rachel: Yes.
Ross: I don't know if I can do that.
Rachel: Ross!
Ross: Ok, I can. (the phone rings - Ross answers) Hello? (pause) Hello Ms. Duke, how are you? (pause) No, she hasn't shown up here yet. I don't think her flight gets in until tonight. (pause) Huh? That's odd. She checked out of her hotel last night. Maybe she's driving back to New York. (pause) Yes, I realize that's a long drive but maybe she just needed to clear her head. (pause) Excuse me? (pause) No I have a long list. (pause) Ok, hold on a minute. (to Rachel) It's Katie.
Rachel (mad): You absolutely suck at lying! (on the phone) Katie? (pause) I finished early and caught an earlier flight. (pause) You're right, I did forget to call you, I'm sorry. Yes, the whole division was let go. (pause) No, I'm staying home for the rest of the day. (pause) Because I need to recover from repeatedly being called a bitch. (pause) See you tomorrow.
Ross: See that didn't go bad at all. You get the day off.
Rachel: You still suck at lying.
Ross: Lying has never been one of my strong assets.
Rachel (laughing): But you'll sleep with someone the minute you go on a break from someone else.
Ross: That's not really funny Rachel.
Rachel: You’re right, I'm totally sorry. I guess I've come a long way from what happened with Chloe if I can laugh about it now.
Ross (starting to laugh): I guess.
Rachel (serious): Yeah, I can laugh, you can't.