Round 3 - 27/04/2002 

Vs Uni Daddys Axes @ Colin Maiden No.2

Score:	10 - 3

Ahhh week three of competition and the Cougars came up against the Daddys Axes, an interesting
name, but for Cantabs nothing should surprise us! The Axes were made up of mainly Aucklanders who
had studied down at Canterbury Uni, and with their fair share of Kings' Old Boys, the Cougars were
justified in expecting a tough match. Some of the opposition looked to be north of 85 but having
not seen them ever train, and with only one reserve, we were sure fitness would be their enemy!
Late comers, Carlton, Old Bugger and the Butcher, were all surprised to see Mr. Brown, and more
surprised to see him kitted up to come off the bench. Sorry, but one practice hardly means that
you'll be getting a game Connell! Speaking of late comers, is it that Matty is always late or the
rest of us are always early, it a mystery that I must say haunts me still.

The scheduled 2:30 start had to be delayed, as a member of the one o'clock game had to be
stretchered off. Not such a nice look while one gets ready to go out onto the field! Once the
game got started, off field distractions were forgotten, and the boys were focused on the game at
hand (sorry bad cliché).

Earlier, the fearless leader of the Cougars had been showing off his new $8 shorts. Lets all hope
that Steve managed to keep his receipt, cause the shorts managed to turn into a mini skirt soon
after the first tackle. Again Steve manages to be a fashion victim.

Kicking was the real weakness of the boys, as we saw them let slip numerous opportunities that
arose from Axes ill discipline. Fortunately we did manage to convert one of them into points.
Having spent a good part of the previous practice doing kick off drills, it was pertinent that we
managed to stuff up the restart. Nice one P.T!

It has been the goal of the team to own the first and last five minutes of each half, and while
they looked a little shaky in the first five, the confidence and all round play improved to such
an extent that the boys pretty much dominated the last five. Unfortunately we could not turn that
pressure into further points, although boys came close a number of times. For the third week in a
row, we managed to cross the line, only to return empty handed! This time it was thanks to our
nuggetty halfback. (I don't know why I use that adjective, but it seems all halfbacks are
supposed to be nuggetty!) As well, a seagulling P.T, sorry to pick on you, also managed to screw
up a dead certainty, but I should also admit he was not helped by the hospital mumbles threw him.

This week's half time chat far more cordial, and the boys seemed to be more responsive towards
this renewed form of (T)rev up. Subbed off for his tremendous form in the lineouts, Pete was
justifiably aggrieved. What did please him though was Dykesy's fuck up of the restart!

The second half continued much like the first, with the Cougars looking good in forwards, and
with strong defence from the Axes. Highlights came from Rivelland, whose defense and barnstorming
runs looked strong in midfield. Notably, the Colonel came off the field injured, looks like he's
on his last legs!

With the strength in our forwards it looked certain that we would score close to the line with
the ball in Steve's hand, but it was either the flimsy shorts or the wacky headgear, he managed
to butcher that opportunity. Fortunately the spectators did not have to wait too much longer,
'cause in front of his parents and girlfriend, Andre managed to cross over and touch down for the
cougar's second try of the season! Good effort resulting from strong play by the prop.
  
Further highlights from the second half was the midfield bomb that Gazza managed to bomb himself,
pussy! And who could forget the fight that did not involve Dom! After a very late tackle from our
try scorer, which the opposition midfielder did not appreciate, Dr Dre was on the receiving end
of some knuckle sandwiches. Seeing a fellow team-mate in trouble on his wing, Old Bugger ran up
with the intention of clocking the guy, only problem, with his speed (or lack there of), the
other guy saw Rob coming and ducked under the high shot. Having then over-run the fight Rob ran
back to get in amongst it. Joined by the other infamous pugilist, Porn Star, the Cougars
definitely had the upper hand and the Axes midfielder would have definitely have regretted
reacting to the tackle.  What resulted was a penalty not for the punches thrown, but instead for
the Mouth's insistent talking back. Hmm wonder why they call him the Mouth? So finally the Axes
had an opportunity to score some points, and with a southpaw soccer player taking the kick, they
managed to take the three points with ease. It's the kicking tee we believe that was our
downfall.

After the little incident with Horns, Old Bugger and Andre, the Axes were a little more fired up
especially their flanker. A candidate for advanced Hair Systems, and supposedly a 'real' boxer,
this guy wanted to get in fight, and it was a real shame Dom never made it on cause we really
needed to shut that bald idiot up!

After more missed penalties, who knows why we were adamant to take shots at goal when it seemed
inevitable that the flags would never get raised. Trev finally hid the tee. The game did end on a
high however. After a midfield charge-down, Nickovich managed to run like the wind to score a
triumphant thirty-meter breakaway! That sealed both a Cougars win and Nicks place in the Backs,
even though he is a prop, and that was evidenced when he attempted a conversion. (Nicko talks big
about his kicking prowess but was himself charged down with what looked like a very mediocre
kick!) Speaking of forwards kicking, Bill stop it, and stay off the wing you lazy bastard!!

Perhaps the icing on the cake for today was the fact that after the final whistle and the
celebrations, Gaz managed to slot a goal from the left-hand touchline before heading back to the
shed. So a score line that could have been 30 something to three, ended up 10 - 3. But lets not
complain a win is a win, and the Cougars are on a streak!!!!

Aftermatch, noticeable absentees were Dave and Trev, you guys have yet to make it to one fine
session, and your respective tabs are growing, my advice come along this Saturday!! As well
mention should be made to those of us who headed off south for dirty weekends, Hoppy and Alex
both snuck off on the sly with respective partners for some out of town action. Fines boys,
fines!

Well this week its Teachers Eastern, and we all hope that the boys continue the streak. Hopefully
many more will come along to fill the sidelines, and see some tries being scored. Afterwards we
can all be seen at Bills where rumour has it there may be alcohol and larger louts, my kinda
party, girl-friends beware!! 

That's it from me this week, sorry it took me so long to write this up, see you all at the game.
Roving Reporter (RR)