Round 2 - 20/04/2002

Vs Tamaki @ Mt Wellington Memorial No. 2

Score:	10 - 0

Well this Saturday was a milestone in what we all hope will be the 'Year of the Cougar', it was
amongst other things the University Cougars' first win of the 2002 season.

The scene was Tamaki War Memorial Reserve, where the boys came up against a top-five finisher
from last year. Set against a picturesque backdrop, Auckland managed to put on a fantastic day,
unfortunately the boys were playing rugby, and did not truly appreciate the heat, least of all
the scalding water in the showers!!!

Late appearances by Macca and Mouth meant that we could have been slightly vulnerable in the
midfield. As it turned out, both were tardy due their respective girlfriends. The former helping
his to the hospital, while the latter was actually shopping with his better half, poor form
justified by the $10 contribution post match!!! 

The game plan was in essence simple, start strong and finish strong. Unfortunately this
understandable and relatively straightforward plan had to be made more complicated, after all we
are the smartest team in the comp. First they changed some of the calls for where and when
forwards crash. Then the Brains Trust of Phil and Trev decide that like the Crusaders, the first
five and fullback would switch in attack and defence.

Kick off was at the scheduled two thirty, and began with an early penalty to the Cougars.
Thankfully we have the boot of Gazza, and our first line out was in their twenty two.
Unfortunately the first move from set play broke-down only to have Jonty in a gaping hole.
Ten minutes into the game we were awarded a penalty within Gazza's range, unfortunately,
the radar was on the blink, and after the miss, kicking duties were handed off to Mumbels.
Half an hour into the game the Cougars finally converted what was strong pressure into three
points from the boot of Kerry.

The first real highlight of the game came when the Tamaki Full Back put up a mid-field bomb to
Hoppy's wing. Having had an especially hard Friday night, what with trying to keep abreast of
developing situations across the sea, Hoppy was seeing three balls falling from the sky.
Unfortunately, he went for the wrong one and faced the obligatory abuse from the sidelines. In an
attempt to make up for his earlier mistake, at 3:04 pm, Hoppy made a run down the line and
offloaded to Jonty who touched down for our first legitimate try of the competition. Soon after
scoring, Jonty came off to celebrate with the crowd and ring his parents to tell the what he had
done, poser! The first half also saw Titties running in at second five, and knocking on a bullet
from Gaz', as well as another miss under the highball by Matty.
 
Ten nil up at half time, the boys felt that it was going well. Unfortunately the Brain Trust did
not share those sentiments. A particular harsh halftime rev up from Trev left many looking at the
scoreboard to check if we were still winning. 

The second half saw a continued domination by the Cougars who seemed camped in the Tamaki 22.
Unfortunately the boys ran out of both lineout calls and options, and no more points were added
in the second half. Notable players were Hoppy, whose soccer skills came in a number of times,
not least of which was the fantastic hollywood he took! Matty looked good at the back, but the
kicking style and options need to be reviewed. The lineouts were so good that the opposition only
ever threw it to one place. The loosies were again pretty good round the park, shame Pus and Joel
got pushed back over the line, surprising since you're both our heaviest players!!! And who can
forget Carlton who managed to get subbed off by the Ref!!!

Man of the match was close, but when Hoppy had to leave early to go to his sister's 21st, the
decision was easy, and Revees managed a respectable 48 seconds. Post match, Titties was awarded a
Birthday Jug which he managed, after several attempts, and a minor spit-back, in 55 seconds,
commendable but not winning any prizes this year Ben. The absentees from the weekend was of
course Petey who was playing 'Little Red Riding Hood' with Pamela, and the duo of Old Bugger and
Porn Star who were away on 'Business', hopefully not together. The fines jug is coming along well
with close to a hundred in the pot, hopefully some of that can go towards Dom's Anger Management
Course. 

After being asked to leave the club a number of times, an elite few of the team headed back to a
secret location in Ngapuhi Street, where they got out the shovels and dug a hole that was later
used to bury George. It should be noted that George will be fined for failing to finish his
dozen; the court session should be a highlight of his year!! 

I would like to thank Bozzie and Seiko, official timekeepers of the Cougars, and who could
forget; Dave for all the awesome work he has done to date. Well that was how the Cougars went
last week, hopefully all of you will be there this weekend when we clash against the Daddys Axes,
a fellow Uni team made up of Sheep Shaggers from down south, and make it two form two. Till then,
this is the Roving Reporter for EOTC News.

RR