Round 11 - 22/06/2002

Vs Karaka

Score: 24-5
HT:  12-5

Now I am not sure as to where I should begin this weeks match report. Let me first tell you why
I am writing this report while two previous weeks remain untouched. Well this game marks a
momentous milestone for the Cougars, as it will see the boys reach the top six for the first
time in our short (but illustrious) history. For this reason, I have decided that it is best to
update our past teammates, international fans, and all those who were unable to share in the
moment. As well, it just so happens that I use the fine-session as a basis for my story telling,
and since we did not hold one this week I need to verbalise my memories before they fade.

So here goes. 

This game requires a prelude. Firstly, it was a postponement of the match scheduled for the 22nd
of July. This was due to the 'Weather Bomb' that struck Auckland that week and cancelled all U85
rugby. This was somewhat of a blessing as on the 21st, was the Brazil-England game, which saw a
few of us, namely Old Bugger, Hoppy, Reves and Romal, sinking a few pints at Mad Dogs.
 
The rescheduled date did not however help the boys when it came to nursing hangovers. The Cornel
had scheduled a departure dinner, which saw the majority of us getting written on red wine at a
bloody awful Italian restaurant in Mission Bay! Can I just say, DO NOT GO TO SANTA LUCIA, pass
it on, tell as many people as you can that they should stay far away from this place! The Roving
Reporter would like to endorse his personal stamp of disapproval on this establishment, for
their blatant attempt to rip us off, bloody Mafia!!

Back to the story, the night before saw many of us (I am not even going to bother to name them
all), getting blind! Notable mentions are; Joel- leaving well before the party got started; 
Rico- for wasting Matty's minutes, hey you lazy bastard how's about an email; Nicko- for getting
very up close and personal with a 'family friend'; Petey- for being the sensitive new age guy
that he is and nursing the girlfriend, ahhh what a sweetie; Simon- for a little something
something with a little someone someone, must have been that cheese you kept in your pocket!;
Robbie- for almost getting away with the random shag, like I said almost getting away; Cheepo,
(not part of the team, but hey) for a CLM (career limiting move). All in all a number of boys
got their 'mack' on/off, and a good time was had by all. Note: can I just point out that I think
it is very rude of George not to have come along to the restaurant; after all we had done for
you, poor form!

So with that as an introduction picture this, half the team feeling like shit, Pus included!

I must say that Karaka is far away, hell we might as well have kept on going and made a real
roadie of it. A suggestion Rob and Cheepo took. Anyway, I must say that it was one of the easier
grounds to find, and Trev's directions were pretty simple to follow (go down the motorway, get
off at Papakura, turn right, and its on the left), even with such simple instructions the
smartest team in the league still had a few ringing up for directions, Hoppy/Pus!

Well the team was still short of a few backs, some injured, Matty Simon and Reeves, while many
had in fact left for distant shores, Jonty, Jeff, Rico and Macca (well Hahei at least). To fill
this gap, a familiar face to some, T-Roy made a cameo. T-Roy for those of you are unaware was a
Cougar past, and his return would prove to be invaluable. Also missing from the day's lineup was
George, now I heard that maybe he was waiting on someone to pick him up, hey buddy get a car!

I would like to congratulate all involved for getting the Cougars kitted out! This was our first
game where we had a full kit, with the cougar logo (grrr) and the after match shirts for all,
including the brains' trust. Shame Nick and Brown forgot their shirts! But I must say that it is
pretty cool to finally be able to head out onto the pitch in OUR uniform, and afterwards look
like a team, albeit a team of mongrels. And it's a nice touch that Wayne, Trev and Phil all have
shirts too.  

Now I had earlier congratulated Trev on some impressive directions to the game, unfortunately we
were somewhat let down by his ability to get the time of the match right. All of us were ready,
warmed-up and stretched in all readiness for a 1pm game, only to see no opposition in sight.
Surely they would not forfeit the game, and they could not have forgotten us, after all they had
reserved us a changing room. So what could it be? Well it was mighty decent of their coach to
turn up at 12:45 to inform us that both Karaka and the ref thought it was a 2:30 game. So we
decided to watch the open grade match, and see if we could wake up a little. Can I just say its
a fine for the man who told us 12 pm at KFC!

As per usual, the boys were made to weigh in. It's strange, but somehow they think we have some
fatties in the team. Anyway, the usual suspects all failed. Craig had to strip off, and just
made the grade, go the fast burner I say! Pus thought it was dress up and came along as Tron.
While Joel just stood by the scale, insisting that he was under, and here's me not believing in
the power of positive thinking!! I am not sure if I should even be divulging these stories,
'cause they could possibly lead to our detriment. In fact I know it cannot, hey they need actual
proof, and if these articles are what they are going on then apparently the Wolf has a 13-inch
penis, and from what Chantal says…. Oh and by the way, one of their guys weighed out, and I
definitely spotted him in civvies, so confirm he never made it onto the ground.

Well after the 'token' weigh in, we huddled up and went back to the shed to do our final psyche
up. It was a good idea, cause the heat from the shows kept us warm, and the natural echo made
our words of encouragement ring that much stronger.

I should apologise at this stage, if you are reading this it's a page and a half and we have yet
to even hear the whistle. So that is where we cut to now…
The scheduled 2:30 kick off finally came around, and the boys headed out on to the number two
for our final game of the grading round. Can I just ask why we never get to play on a number 1?
Besides that, the conditions were not too bad, considering the previous week's weather. That's
quite lucky in fact since Robbie had managed to forget his boots, man if he did not have his
head screwed on. Actually, maybe it was because of that screwing thing, nudge nudge wink wink!
So the whistle blew, and we played into the wind.

Now maybe it was because of the late start or perhaps because of the three weeks without a game
but to me it seemed like the boys were not quite there for the first few minutes. Examples of
this dopiness was Gibbo's late call of 'mine' for the kick off; Hoppy walking over to the
sideline to inquire as to the whereabouts of the girls; Gazza being Mr Nonchalant, seemingly
carefree about chasers and tacklers as he ran the ball back from a kick. As well, the initial
movements of the game saw some soft tackling from a usually tight outfit, and as we slipped off
tackels, Karaka looked to be the better of the two teams. Even this scare could not kick start
the boys, and dropped balls, missed kicks, poor chasing all lead to what was the worst start of
the season. The low point was definitely the fact that they managed to cross the line first, and
what looked like an easy four-comp points was starting to cloud. I would like to say that on the
way back from our goal line something changed, and we came out firing, but instead, it still
looked a little shaky. What did eventuate were some strong runs from Snowy, who looked good
around the rucks. The best move early was a short side burst down the left, which saw us just a
few meters from their line. This then led to our try, which was scored by Nicko, now our leading
try scorer. Well I am sure that he will be using that to boost his case as to why he should
remain a back!

Slowly the Cougars regrouped, and began to dominate in the usual categories. Our forward play
was impressive, strong scrums and lineouts. It should be noted that Titties is currently AWOL,
word is that he over in Italy with the girlfriend and her family. Pity about those fines he's
accumulating, would have been cheaper to stay at home. So in his absence, Petey and Craig took
the role of stealing opposition ball. What was most impressive would be that part of our game
that has seen the most improvement. Once Orakei taught us a lesson, it was cool to see the
forwards being able to take the ball off a lineout and maul it up the field.

This enabled us to implement our regular game plan, forwards rumble it up, they kick away
possession and we play it all in their half. It's a game plan that has seen us keep up the
winning streak of four in a row (that's if you count Manakau?).

The game progressed strongly, with the majority of play in their half. A movement I do recall
was a close call that saw Robbie chasing a kick, and diving over the line, he was confident of
a try, but the ref called a 22-drop out. That was a shame cause it meant he could not perform
that victory dance he has been practicing, never mind the dive was impressive and he did get
dirty. The next important play was a kick through by Karaka, which was charged by Wayne-o, who
then carried it through for a forty-meter touch down. Thankfully it was under the posts and we
managed the conversion. 12-5 carried us through to half time.

Even being 7 points down, and having few opportunities, Karaka came off at the half pleased with
their position. This, Trev admitted, was not to his liking, and the half time chat involved us
getting back on track to how we like to play. Let me comment on the half time/ pre match talks,
I believe that the most important point that was made was that should we lose, then all those
other matches we had won would come to naught. It was important then not to let ourselves down,
and all of those who had helped in our previous victories!

So start of the second half, and we had the wind behind us and we looked a little hungrier out
there. Ten into the second half changes were made that saw Alex and Pus come on and Craig and
Bill come off. This saw Joel move to lock and Troy move to prop. The boys continued to look good
in the mauls, but conditions never really enabled our backs to let loose. Notable mentions was
the lineout on the right touch, which was taken down well by Petey, driven strong five short of
the line only to collapse. It was a shame as it would have been just reward for some organised
and disciplined forward play. I say disciplined 'cause Dom and Ben were not present. As well was
the try that almost was, Robbie steaming down the right flank, but pulled up for a forward pass
earlier. This was surprising, as the ref had failed to pick up just about every forward pass and
knock on all day. Maybe he wanted to see a running game? Anyway, that meant Old Bugger crossed
the line twice, only to be denied both times!

Pus made some useful contributions, and often tried to show his off-loading skills, often though
the passes looked more at home on the netball court. 25 in to the half saw Porn Star dive over
the line for a well-deserved try. Rosie maybe you could learn something from this. Straight
after the try, Horns came off, presumably for a ciggie, and Rosie got to come on. As well, Dre
came off to let Carlton stretch his legs, thanks for that or it may have ended up being another
Saturday on the wrong side of the white-wash (eager not bitter). Add to that, Robbie made good
on a promise and T-Roy ran on. This would prove to be quite invaluable, as with five minutes to
go, Karaka made a break from a turnover in their 22 and their number 23 managed to break through
and gave their winger some room. Chasing back was Hoppy and T-Roy, who managed to pull off a try
saving tackle just short of the line. What then happened was pure poetry, Karaka had chased too
hard, and were mainly in support of the wing. Hoppy chipped the ball past their line and showing
off both some pace and his mad soccer skills he managed to dribble the ball down the left-hand
touch. Regathering the ball over the halfway line, he then let go a loopy (forward) pass into
Alex, who drew in the full-back and passed off to Wyane-o. Wayne then touched down for the
second time under the posts (Nick, that means Wayne is our leading try scorer!). Unfortunately
for the home team, a Karaka guy flopped on Wayne after the try, and we were awarded a penalty at
the restart. At the restart Snowy tapped it and ran, afraid Gaz would miss touch, and the game
petered out to the final whistle.

There we have it for the first time the Cougars have actually made the top grade, it does not
seem that long ago that we were looking for players on Saturdays and a coach on Wednesdays. Many
of us had previous engagements that needed attention, and few (if any) stayed for the food that
Karaka put on.

So that marks the end of stage one for the Cougars, we have made it into the top six. I would
like to add my congratulations and thanks for all those who have helped the Cougars get this
far. These include all players, past and present, our coaches, and management team, and who
could forget out supporters. Big ups to all of you for helping make this the most successful
Cougars season to date.

Now I realise that this is sounding all ominous and even a little reminiscent, but I would like
to add that the season is far from over. The Cougars are a good team this year, and to be third
on our side of the draw may even be an under achievement, as we may have deserved better. I
feel that we are as good as any team in the comp, and feel it's important that we get out there
and prove that we are contenders. Like I said above, let's not let all our good work to date go
wasted.

I would like to thank those of you who have managed to get through all of this, since there were
no photos I felt I had to be as vivid as possible. For those who just skimmed through, I don't
blame you, while those who have spotted any errors, and I know there are heaps, get a life. I
should also point out that I will be absent this weekend, and would love to pass the pen/keyboard
to whoever would like to contribute to the site.

Well that was me for another week, I hope you have enjoyed it. No apologies o those I have
offended or any inaccuracies. I hope to get the missing weeks up soon, but no promises, those of
you that don't like it, bite me!!!

TTFN
The Roving Reporter (still maintaining my anonymity!)