Match Summary:
University Cougars vs Ponsonby - Championship Round
Result: Win 9 -5

Okay to start off with I'd just like to say this report will not be as long as the Roving
Reporters or not necessarily as good. Will just have to see how things pan out.

Right back to the game, being the Cougars first game in the Championship, yes I said
Championship, a massive achievement considering previous year's performances. Great coaching,
great commitment, solid forward play and flashy back play had got us to this stage and we needed
to prove to the knockers that the Cougars deserved to be here and the best way to do that was to
continue our winning run.

Our first up game was Ponsonby, a team that had defeated us in the first round (refer round one
match summary), and was considered to be stronger than us due to their place on the table (i.e.
ahead of us). This of course was never a deterrent, more like an inspiration with everyone
wanting to prove themselves and to of course avenge our first round loss (if you ask me you're
always bloody lucky if the tries you score are from broken play).

Right enough bullshit, I have never written one of these before so here goes. The game was played
down at Coxs Bay Park reserve. The conditions as we all know could be described as monsoon like,
with Auckland's weather being rather like a tropical cyclone for the previous month or so. With
a howling gale ripping down the field the guys realised just how important it would be to keep
the ball in hand in one half and boot the shit out of it in the other half and keep the
opposition pinned down in the in their 22.

Anyway before the game had even started we had our backs to the wall. With a number of players
out for the week, either they were sick (not hung over Hoppy, considering you looked like you
were going to vomit up your bum on Saturday), they were off skiing, enjoying other substances
on Waiheke, or alternatively in Pus's case he was off delivering a milo truck (so we've heard),
the Cougars were caught a little short with stuff all reserves on the sideline for a change.
Facing this adversity, it just steeled our resolve to pull out a big game. The warm up was as
per but for a change the weigh in was not, with Butcher in his trainers and a quick visit to
the loo obviously due to the fact he needed to take a 5 kilogram dump to come in under 85 kg
all the team weighed in under 85kg. Gibbo explained to me later that he weighed in at 85kg with
all his gear on casting suspicions over the scales Ponsonby brought along, not Auckland Rugby
Football Union issue if you ask me by the look of them. This of course was confirmed when all
the Ponsonby players came in under the weight, rather surprising considering a number of them
looked like large pork pies and I'm sure one or two of them were just shaved gorillas who were
bribed to play with a multitude of bananas. I digress, on to the game.

Tron won the toss, at least I think he did due to the fact we got the wind in the first half,
and after the typical Cougar chant the game started. Game started badly, Wayne, thinking he was
Gazza, kicks off not realizing we had the wind and managed to put in dead in goal, meaning a
scrum on half way and a shit start for the Cougars. That of course was about the only real
notable error throughout the whole game. Most of the first half was played between the two
opposing teams 22's, with Tony Robbins (thanks Motivational Speaker), oops I mean Trev,
obviously not motivating the boys enough to stick to the game plan, i.e. kick to the corners
and chase and wait for them to make the mistakes, which they did in the end, mostly penalties
right in front, thank you three more points. 

Moments of note in the first half, Wayne kicking three from three, giving us a 9 - 0 lead at
halftime, Gazza take note. I would like to add that Ponsonby gave all the three penalties when
the Cougars were hot on attack and looked likely to score, points that is not the Cheapo CLM.
It's hard to single people out in the first half, a few hot stepping runs by Hoppy, at one
stage managing to step at least half of the Ponsonby team to get close to the line, some
charging runs by the loose forwards and for once Nico's runs inside were actually appreciated
because we kept hold of the ball. With the outside backs getting majorly cold, don't worry
fellas we all know where the Cougars strength lies, that's playing 10 man rugby I might add,
we went into the second half with a 9 -0 lead, which should have been more but due to spoiling
tactics of the opposition.

One word described the second half: DEFENCE. The Cougars playing 10 man rugby into the wind,
occasionally 11 man rugby but we count Nico as a forward now anyway, the Cougars played into
the gale force wind with gusto. Ponsonby attacked relentlessly for a large part of the second
half but the Cougars line held until the very end when right on fulltime Ponsonby scored.
Moments and players of note in the second, once again Hoppy with his hot stepping runs, Old
Bugger with some amazing cover defence with at least one try saving tackle to his name, Wayno
realizing that the outside backs didn't need to have the ball, ditto for Nico, Snowy for
playing on with another bum cut in his eyebrow (means a large cut people), Joel for playing
with one arm (we don't know what happened to the other one), the Ponsonby halfback who
obviously wasn't happy since Santa didn't give him his two front teeth back for Christmas for
giving us lots of penalties, Horner for some massive hits, most of note on Ponsonby's
loosehead prop and the whole tight five for playing the game and digging in when the acid was
applied. Massive victory first up and a brilliant start to the championship round. Thanks to
all the supporters for turning up on a shit day. Roll on the Baabaas and we now have a game on
a number one ground, Varsity No 10 this week boys, lets continue the winning run.
Cheers

M.O.T.S

(Man on the Sideline)