The Cage was up, it's red bars Terry said would soon be stained with blood, and Johnny said that although there was a door on the Cage, to escape you HAD to go OVER, because once the bell rang, the door would be padlocked. Clive Johnson was in the ring ready to announce the first competitors.
"Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns and Roses started to play and out came Esteban to cheers. he slapped hands with the fans as he walked down the aisle. He walked around the ring to the door and got into the Cage. He then raised both fists and crossed his arms above his head.
The Japanese opening theme for Dragonball Z, "We Gotta Power" played as Vegeta came out with his hair spiked high into the air. Terry Gold wondered how much wax, gel and hairspray Vegeta needed to maiuntain that look. Vegeta walked past the crowd, not acknowledging them. He got in the ring and stared at Esteban with a sneer.
Match Synopsis: Vegeta ran at Esteban, but the swift Esteban just used Vegeta's momentum to ram him head first into the Cage. Esteban then rammed Vegeta's head into the cage three more times and Vegeta fell to the mat. Esteban tried to get Vegeta back up but Vegeta grabbed Esteban, gave him an inverted atomic drop and then gave Esteban a thrust kick. Vegeta hauled Montoya up and whipped him off the ropes, Vegeta rans off the ropes and tried a clothesline, Esteban ducked and they bounced off the ropes and caught each other with a double cross body block. Esteban got his feet first and was waiting for Vegeta. Esteban hit Vegeta with some reverse chops and then whipped Vegeta off the ropes, when Vegeta came off he nailed Esteban with the Big Bang Attack! Esteban went down hard and Vegeta tried to capitalize on the situation. Vegta went over to the Cage and started climbing. Esteban got up, turned and ran over to the cage, grabbing at Vegeta's foot. Vegeta shook free and tried kicking down at Montoya. Esteban climbed up and he and Vegeta traded shots woth each other. Esteban hit three nice chops in a row and then grabbed Vegeta by the hair. He rammed Vegeta's skull hard against the Cage and Vegeta fell off, landing across the tope rope! Vegeta looked to be in terrible pain as he straddled the rope.
Esteban then hopped down, and hauled Vegeta off the rope and onto the mat. Esteban took Vegeta's arm and did a leg drop on it. Esteban then sat Vegeta up and hit a running dropkick that nailed Vegeta in the face. Vegeta went down and Esteban did 3 quick elbow drops followed by a somersault leg drop. Esteban then tried for a senton splash but Vegeta got his knees up and Esteban's back felt the pain. Vegeta shook the cobwebs out and stomped on Esteban's back. Vegeta then started to head to the turnbuckle, but he did so slowly, taking his time. When he got on the second turnbuckle, esteban was up, he ran, climbed the corner and hit the Caliente! Both Vegeta and Esteban lay on the mat in pain. Esteban got up first, favoring his back and he tried to start climbing the cage, he was slowly making his way up and redneck said that the pain in Esteban was obvious. As Esteban was going up, Vegeta got back to his feet and chased after Esteban. Vegeta got behind Esteban on the cage and then hit a Sleeping Neckbreaker Off the Cage and to the mat! The fans were on their feet chanting "Holy [Bleep]." Vegeta and Esteban lay there, obviously hurting but like two warriors they fought their hardest to get back to their feet. They traded weak shots, and a knee to the gut by esteban got him the advantage. He then scoop slammed Vegeta, went up top and hit a dragon attack. Vegeta then saw Esteban sitting up so Vegeta executed a flipping neck wrench, a la the late Mr Perfect. Vegeta then crouched on the top turnbuckle and waited. Esteban got up and Vegeta took flight nailing Esteban with a top rope somersault clothesline. Esteban lay prone on the mat and Vegeta went up again. He then took flight and nailed Esteban with the Saiyan Splash! Vegeta and Esteban lay there, Esteban looked out of it and Vegeta looked fatigued. He then began to crawl over to the ropes, he hauled himself up and then began to climb the cage.
Esteban however got back to his feet! Johnny Redneck said the amount of guts shown by Montoya showed everyone that he was a real competitor. He started to climb up and grabbed Vegeta's leg. Vegeta looked down and with a scowl started to kick at Esteban with his free foot. He nailed Montoya in the face and Esteban crashed back to the mat. Vegeta looked unhappy and then instead of going up, Vegeta jumped off the Cage and nailed Esteban with a Moonsault Body Press! Terry Gold said that HAD to be it. Vegeta stood to his feet, taking deep breaths. He staggered over to the Cage, but Esteban charged from behind and tackjled Vegeta into the Cage! Vegeta went down and Esteban then hit a spinning leg drop and then Montoya started trying to climb. Vegeta rolled away and got to his feet. He saw Montoya and shook his head as he brushed his hands at Montoya. Vegeta ran to the opposite corner as best he could and the race was on! Esteban and Vegeta were both feeling fatigued and it was obvious by their slow progress up the cage. The fans were on their feet watching as both men reached the top, esteban got his leg over the edge first and started to climb down. Vegeta got over the edge and was still 3/4 up when he dropped, beating Montoya by about 4 seconds! Montoya saw the refs, who were on each side on the ring, run over to Vegeta and Montoya staggered away from ringside, head hung in obvious diappointment.
"We Gotta Power" started to play as Vegeta was limping badly. The refs tried to help but Vegeta shoved them away, falling down in the process. Vegeta struggled to get up and he limped to the back.
Commercial Break: "Porn Pops: As part of a complete breakfast, Porn Pops helps you rise to the challenge of a long, hard day."
Clive: "Ladies and gentlemen, this next match in Cage Rage is dubbed "Pin or Escape!" The object is to pin your opponent, or climb over the Cage and touch the floor. Introducing first, he stands at 6'1" and weighs 227 pounds. he comes from Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada and is the master of the Triple S Pan Am Slam. He is "Pure Gold" Curtis Vector!"
"O Canada" as performed by the RCMP Brass Band played as Vector came out in his white singlet with red trim and the red Maple Leaf on the front. He carried a large Canadian Flag to the ring and received boos from the crowd. Vector shook his head in disbelief as he got to the cage. He gave the flag to a ring attendant and climbed in the cage.
Clive: "And his opponent. Origianlly from Baton Rouge, Louisiana. He stands at 6'4" and weighs in at 375 pounds. Accompanied to the ring by Rufus, he is the B-G-N!"
"Never, Never Gonna Give You Up" by Barry White started to play and BGN came out wearing a large Red Sox jersey. In his hands were Hersey choclate bars that he ate while walking down to the ring. BGN stopped several times to offer some bars to ladies near the aisleway. BGN got to the ring and before he got in he danced a little while stuffing his face. He got into the cage and stood toe to toe with Vector. Clive got out of the ring and referee Kieran O'Mally padlocked the door. Referee Steve Youngren, who was in the cage to make any pinfall counts if necessary, called for the bell and the match was underway!
Match Synopsis: BGN and Vector stood toe to toe. Vector and BGN traded words and Vector slapped BGN across the face! BGN tried to throw a standing clothesline but Vector ducked and he hit BGN with a clothesline of his own. Vector gave BGN a Europen Uppercut and stepped back with a 2 step clothesline. Vector came off the ropes and delivered another clothesline that barely budged the super heavyweight. Vector came off the ropes again and BGN knocked him down with a shoulder tackle. BGN tried to drop an elbow but Vector moved out of the way. Vector then grabbed BGN's leg and executed a leg grapevine, Vector put pressure on the leg and then did a 3 jumping knee drops onto the leg! BGN held his leg in obvious pain. Terry Gold said that was great strategy by Vector, take away the size and power advantage by working on the legs. Vector then lifted the leg and started kicking the hamstring. Vector then dropped an elbow and applied a leg lock, pulling the leg of BGN towards Vector as he knelt on the inside knee of BGN. BGN sat up and pulled at Vector's hair, but Youngren knocked BGN's hand away. BGN fell back on the mat withy both shoulders down and Youngren started to count. BGN sat up at 1 and then raked the eyes of Vector. Vector crawled away and BGN tried to get back to his feet. BGN stood up near the ropes and Vector charged in with a cross body block. BGN tried to catch Vector but his leg gave way, but as he fell he managed to throw Vector with a fallaway slam so that Vector was thrown into the cage! As BGN fell, the back of his hed hit the Cage bars as well! Vector and BGN were tangled in the Cage, the ropes and each other. Steve Youngren did his best to try to seperate them. Vector got up first and gave BGN some forearms to the face. Vector got through the ropes and tried stomping on BGN. Vector then went down and applied an ankle lock. BGN grabbed one of Vector's feet and he applied an ankle lock on Vector! BGN was forced to let go first so he started pounding on the knee of Curtis Vector. Vector let go and he sperated himself from BGN. They both got back to their feet and it was obvious BGN had suffered some damage. Vector tried to get at the leg again, but BGN stomped him with a clubbing forearm to the back. BGN then pushed Vector down and got on top of him. BGN threw some punches then stood up, looked at the crowd and dropped down on Vector's chest with a standing butt drop! He sat on Vector and Youngren made the count, but somehow, Vector got an arm and shoulder out!
BGN got up and tried to work out the knots in his leg and ankle as Vector lay there gasping for air. BGN then walked over to Vector, placed his foot on Vector's chest and walked on Vector! BGN then dropped a big Earthquake style wind up elbow on Curtis Vector. BGN tried a second one but Vector rolled out of the way. Vector cralwed back toward the cage and BGN followed. Vector sat up against the ropes begging off, but BGN stepped in. When BGN stepped in, Vector grabbed the waist of BGN's pants and sent the big guy head first into the cage. Vector slipped between the BGN's legs and got behind him, Vector then kicked BGN in the back of both legs, and used his weight to get BGN down on his knees. Vector then stood on the back of BGN's legs, grabbed the chin and leaned back as far as he could with a chinlock surfboard. Johnny Redneck reminded everyone that the match could only be won with pin or by escaping the cage. Terry Gold said that Vector was attempting to wear down BGN's body so that BGN couldn't stop Vector from climbing over the Cage, or maybe Vector could even pin BGN.
Vector released the chinlock surfboard, but while BGN was on his knees, Vector cinched in a side headlock. He tightened it and Terry said when done right, the headlock was like a vice on the brain. Vector then ground in the headlock some more by quickly smacking his forearm against the side of BGN's head as he re-cinched it. Vector then used leverage to get BGN down and Vector continued to apply the side headlock from a laying position. Vector then switched and got in the back of BGN and applied a rear headlock with Vector's forearm squeezing against BGN's forehead. Terry said from here Vector could easily apply the camel clutch which would strain the head and back of BGN.
Vector released the rear headlock but immediately grabbed the wrists of BGN. Vector placed his feet on the calves of BGN and leaned back as far as he could, pulling BGN up to his knees. Vector had BGN locked in a modified Saskatchewan Surfboard. Johnny Redneck said normally Vector would get the opponent in the air and Vector would be on his back, but BGN was just too big. Terry Gold said that Vector wasn't getting all the pressure he wanted, but still, this was a painful manouver to be in.
Vector let one of the arms go and chopped BGN in the throat! Vector let go as Steve Youngren reprimanded Vector. Vector then got on the top rope and waited. BGN slowly got to his feet and Vector hit the Moncton Missle Dropkick! BGN went down hard and Vector saw his chance. Vector started walking to the ropes and was being booed by the crowd. Vector stopped at the ropes and started yelling at the fans. Johnny said Vector should worry about getting out of the cage first, then once outside he could yell at the fans if he wanted. Vector spit at the crowd and then started to climb. Vector got one bar above the top rope when BGN got Vector onto his shoulders. The leg gave way and Vector hopped off safely. He then threw a right european uppercut at BGN, BGN countered with a right hand and threw Vector into the Cage. Vector's head bounced off and BGN got Vector up in a bear hug. However, BGN's leg was still weak and BGN couldn't lift Vector into the air. Vector then quickly gave BGN a bell clap ear ringer and was free of the hold.
Vector came off the ropes and tried a crucifix pin, but BGN countered with a samoan drop. BGN stayed on Vector for the pin but Vector got a shoulder out at 2. BGN then sat up, turned and blatantly choked Vector until Steve Youngren broke it up. BGN then got in Steve's face and Vector chopped blocked BGN. Vector then took BGN's leg and did a leg smash. As BGN lay there, Vector did a jumping elbow drop on the back of BGN's head. Vector then raced over to the turnbuckle, climbed and when BGN headed over, Vector nailed a tope rope sunset flip. BGN tried to fight it, but the momentum of being on the top and the weakened leg of BGN caused him to fall. Vector held on as Youngren went down; 1-2-3 and it was over!
Clive: "The winner of this match as result of a pin, "Pure Gold" Curtis Vector!"
"O Canada" as performed by the RCMP Brass Band played as Vector had his hand raised in victory. He left the cage to boos and jeers from the crowd. He left the ring and walked back up the aisle toward the back. As he did so, someone came running from the curtain. He bumped into Vector, and headed straight for the ring. He knocked down a couple of refs and enetered the cage. He was wearing a black ski mask, biker boots, jeans, and a black leather jacket with the Confederate flag on the back. He took a padlock from his jacket and locked the Cage door.
As Johnny was pleading for help, the fans roared as West Coast Gangsta and Dolemite came from behind the curtain with baseball bats. They started to climb the cage and the masked attacked saw them. He quickly released the hold and started to climb out the opposite side. The assailant ran out of there in a hurry as WCG and Dolemite checked on their fallen friend. Officer Jim had a skeleton key that he used to get the door unlocked and a stretcher was brought next to the ring. BGN was rolled out onto the stretcher but he got off it. Fans cheered him as Dolemite and WCG helped him limp to the back.
Johnny: "Folks, this was a disgusting end to a good match. Vector got the win, fair and square. Nobody can blame Vector for picking out an area to work on, it's called 'wrestling.' But this attack afterward was heinous. As soon as information becomes available, we'll let you know the extent of BGN's injuries. Now it's time to go backstage to Julia Stevenson, she is going to interview Captain Amazing."
Captain Amazing: "My thoughts? The first thing I'm thinking is that Commissioner Caldwell has lost his mind. Fine, I can accept that people want to see the sideshow freak wrestling some people call 'hardcore.' I can understand that this being the Extreme Indy Wrestling Federation, one would expect to see broken tables and bent chairs replacing actual talent. I would expect to see 'wrestlers,' and I use that term loosely, actually want to participate in matches like that for sick, rabid animals who try to pass themselves as wrestling fans."
"However my dear Miss Stevenson, I do not understand why I amd being placed in such a situation. I am Captain Amazing, I am a technical wrestler, I am old school and proud of it. I am also proud to be an African American and so I am trying to be a role model for African Americans who watch this program. I pride myself on the third word in this company's name, 'Wrestling.' Slamming a chair against someone's head is not wrestling. A powerbomb through a table is not wrestling. Lunch Lady Stan, I've heard how people have been buzzing about your debut match against another technical wrestler, that was not wrestling. Tonight, I am forced to be locked in the cage with you like some wild animal. Well, tonight, I will drop a bomb on you, and I will teach you what the term 'wrestling' really means."
Julia: "He's ready folks, Captain Amazing v Lunch Lady Stan, back to you Johnny Redneck!"
Johnny: "Well as you can see on camera now, the ring is filled with weapons, and this Philadelphia Street Fight is set to go. There are no pins, no submissions, no DQ, no escapes. The goal is to make the opponent stay down for the referee's 10 count."
Terry: "This is also known as a Last man Standing Match"
Johnny: "Here we call it a 'Philly Street Fight' in order to distinguish ourselves. Folks, this one is set to begin after this break!"
Commercial Break: "Stanley Hosspiss Beer- Tastes as good as it sounds. Brewed since 1932. Stanley Hosspiss Beer, Beer as it truly is. Hosspiss, look for it."
Johnny: "Welcome back, let's go to Clive Johnson"
Clive: "Ladies and gentlemen, this next cage match on EIWF Cage Rage is a Philadelphia Street Fight! The opponent must be downed for the referee's 10 count! Introducing first, he stands at 6'7" and weighs 300 pounds. He hails from Melonville. He is Lunch Lady Stan!"
The crowd are on its feet popping like mad as The theme to the TV show "Airwolf" started to play. Lunch Lady Stan came out wearing a hair net, a white cafeteria worker's outfit and a white plastic apron. Stan was also carrying a greasy spatula. Stan got into the ring and immediately went to set up a table that was laid under the bottom rope.
Clive: "And his opponent, he stands at 6'7" and weighs in at 259 pounds. From Washington DC, he is, Captain Amazing!"
"My Sacrifice" by Creed started to play and Captain Amazing came out to boos, who were 100% in favor of Lunch Lady Stan. Captain Amazing looked upset behind his mask. He walked down slowly to the ring and got in the ring. The Cage was locked, and outside the cage, doing the count would be senior referee Gerald MacKenzie. He called for the bell and this war was underway.
Match Synopsis: Captain Amazing kneed Lunch Lady Stan in the gut and used leverage to get a gutwrench suplex. Captain Amazing then got on the table and started to climb the cage. He got half way up when Lunch Lady Stan pursued. Lunch lady Stan and Captain Amazing got side by side on the Cage and started throwing punches. Stan dazed Amazing and took the opportunity to turn around so that his back was to the Cage. With one hand on the cage, Lunch Lady Stan took his free hand and wrapped it around Captain Amazing's neck. Lunch Lady Stan then gave a One Handed Chokeslam on Captain Amazing that sent him off the Cage and through the table!!! Fans were on their feet chanting "Holy [Bleep]" as Lunch Lady Stan stood there silent. Captain Amazing laid there motionless and the ref started counting. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...10! Just like that it was over!
Clive: "Ladies and gentlemen, your winner by TKO, Lunch Lady Stan!"
The theme to "Airwolf" started to play as Gerald MacKenzie unlocked the cage and enetered the ring, he raised Lunch Lady Stan's hand to the roar of the crowd and then went to check on Captain Amazing who was still laying in the wreckage of the table. Lunch Lady Stan got his spatula and left the ring.
Johnny: "Folks, we go to William Hung who is with one of the wrestlers in the Main Event. William."
"EJB, the time is soon upon us. Soon you and I will enter that cage, rigged with explosive timed for 15 minutes. Rest assured EJB, by the time that cage blows up, you will be on your way to the hospital. Last week, Darkchylde and I gave you and Duncan a sample of what it was like. Of course, you felt the power of the NB before a few years ago, when Paladyn and I broke your neck along with your dreams. Tonight, you make the mistake of getting in the ring with me one on one. Paladyn will not interfere, Nightspawn will not interfere, Darkchylde will not interfere. Tonight, Nosferatu and Stacey will be watching from backstage. In that cage it will be you and me. Last week I fed off you. I cut you open and drank your blood. Tonight, I will cut you open afresh, I will drink your blood, I will blow your corpse, but I'll go one step further tonight EJB. Tonight, I will feed on your very essence. Clock is ticking EJB, I hope you are ready to accept what will befall you this night."
Kindred layid the mic down, then he Stacy and Nosferatu walked away. William Hung slinked back and took the mic.
William: "Back to you Jawnee"
Johnny: I can't wait for that match. Folks, after this break we have another exciting match up! Stay tuned to the EIWF FPV Special: Cage Rage"
Commercial Break: "Fabrizzio's Essence of Garlic- Whether out fighting vampires or knocking down people at a Benny Hinn crusade, Fabrizzio's Essence of Garlic can help you get the job done. It can also be eaten."
Johnny: "Welcome back to EIWF's Cage Rage FPV. Our next match will feature the West Coast Gangsta against The '66 Batman."
Terry: "This should be an interesting contest."
Clive: "Ladies and gentlemen, this next match is a 2 out of 3 Escapes match! The winner is the person who can escape from the Cage twice! Introducing first: He hails from Compton, he stands at 6'2" and weighs 223 pounds. He is a member of Da Ghetto Crew, accompanied to the ring by Baby Momma; the West Coast Gangsta!"
"Get Rich or Die Tryin" by 50 Cent started to play as WCG came out with Baby Momma. The crowd cheered him and he flashed some gang signs. He sauntered to the ring with Baby Momma behind him and he got in the cage, he made a gun with his hand and held it up for the crowd who responded with approval.
Clive: "And his opponent. He stands at 6'1 and weighs 226 pounds, from Gotham City, he is the '66 Batman!"
The Theme to the "Batman" series from 1966 played and out came The '66 Batman. He was wearing his Bat Costume complete with Bat-cape and he did the Bat-2-See Dance down the aisle. He got in the ring and WCG started laughing uncontrollably. WCG took the mic from Clive and spoke.
West Coast Gangsta: "Oh damn man you whack! At leas yo momma don't have to be ashamed cuz you got dat damn mask on yo foo head. But G, next time, don't wear such tight spandex, maybe then people won't know you have such a small 'batarang!' BOO YAH!"
Johnny: "Oh no he didn't! West Coast just insulted the very manhood of the '66 Batman! Oh my, these two men may be opponents in the tag title tournament, and West Coast is setting a fire early!"
Terry: "'West Coast?' I have to admit Redneck, that was rather hip. Oh no, '66 Batman is taking the microphone."
'66 Batman: "You malevolent miscreant! How dare you try to sully my repuatation by assailing my anatomy with abhorrent allegations! I promise you pain from a pounding you cannot perceive! I shall sound blows upon thy skull and shoulders! To arms!"
Match Synopsis: The '66 Batman gave WCG a big right Bat-Punch with the Bat-Mic still in hand. WCG went down and the '66 batman dropped the mic. Clive grabbed the mic and ran out of the cage. It was padlocked and all 4 EIWF referees were on each side, ready to award the first man who escaped. The '66 Batman mounted and threw more big Bat-Punches on the WCG. West Coast was able to roll over and he started throwing punches down on the '66 Batman. He got to his feet and yelled at the '66 Batman to get up. The '66 Batman got up and they locked in a collar and elbow tie up. They pushed against each other but the '66 Batman pushed WCG against the Cage and delivered a mighty Bat-Chop. The '66 Batman then hurled WCG with a mighty Bat-Drag. WCG got up and the '66 Batman locked up with West Coast again. The '66 Batman pushed WCH into the corner and lifted him on the top. The '66 Batman then got on the top as well and launched WCH with a powerful Top Rope Belly to Belly Bat-Plex!
The '66 Batman got to his feet and lifted WCG to his. The '66 Batman then threw a few Bat-Punches and irish whipped WCG off the ropes. The '66 Batman went for a clothesline but WCG ducked, turned and hit a nice neckbreaker. He then lifted the '66 Batman up and executed a nice front backbreaker. WCG turned and gloated, getting the pop, but the '66 Batman was back up and he hit a forearm to the back of West Coast Gangsta's head. The '66 Batman then locked in and executed a Full Nelson Bat-Slam that sent WCG hard to the mat. The '66 Batman dragged WCG to the corner and stomped a Bat-Hole in him. The '66 Batman then hauled WCG up onto his shoulders and executed a Bat-Hammer! The West Coast Gangsta lay there and appeared to be out of it. The '66 Batman looked up, walked over to the cage and started to climb. West Coast Gangsta snapped back to reality and he went over to the cage and got after the '66 Batman, WCG hauled him down and then executed a nice piledriver. WCG then hauled the'66 Batman back up and hit him with a Single Arm DDT. He went to grab the '66 Batman but the '66 Batman managed to rise up, grab WCG's legs and hit an Inverted Atomic Bat Drop followed up by a Bat-Line. Both men lay on the mat, the crowd urging West Coast Gangsta to get up and bust a cap. WCG lay there and was brought back to his feet. The '66 Batman tried to throw a punch, it was blocked. He tried a second punch but WCG blocked it. WCG then came alive with shots to the stomach, chops to the chest and a back elbow to the face. he came off the ropes but the '66 Batman caught him with a Power Bat-Slam. The '66 Batman then ascended to the top and tried to hit an elbow drop but the West Coast Gangsta moved out of the way. The '66 Batman struggled back to his feet and charged at the WCG, but WCG used the momentum to send the '66 Batman head first into the cage with a flap jack slam. The '66 Batman's skull bounced off the steel and he dropped on his back. The WCG then mounted and threw some punches.
WCG then hauled up the '66 Batman and tried to execute a piledriver, but the '66 Batman blocked it. WCG tried a second time but the '66 Batman blocked it again and countered with a back body drop. WCG got up and turned around and was met with a Northern Lights Bat-plex. The '66 Batman then started to climb up the Cage and the West Coast Gangsta followed. They both got to the top of the cage and began trading punches. The '66 Batman threw rights, West Coast Gangsta threw rights. The '66 Batman threw Bat-Chops, WCG threw chops. They were going blow for blow and the crowd was being worked into a frenzy as both men were on the cage, holding on with one hand and slugging away with the other. They then hit each other at the same time and knocked each other off the top of the Cage to the mat! Both men lay there as the fans were applauding. Batman crawled over and threw knees to the ribs of WCG. The '66 Batman tried to club WCG into the ground but the West Coast Gangsta managed to get to his knees, he elbowed the '66 Batman three times, got to his feet and nailed the Bus A Cap! WCG dropped back down from the effort. The fans started clapping, cheering and stomping for WCG to get back up. WCG got up and dragged '66 Batman to his feet. He hit a DDT and staggered over to the cage. He started climbing the cage and the '66 Batman struggled back to his feet. West Coast Gangsta got just the halfway point when the '66 Batman reached up, grabbed WCG and slammed him off the cage with a Last Ride type move! The fans were in shock as the tide appeared to have turned. redneck said that could be the move that decides the match right there. The '66 Batman hauled WCG up and then hit a nice T-Bone Bat-Plex. The '66 Batman and WCG lay there, both men obviously tired and battered. The '66 Batman sat up and then got to his feet slowly, he waited for WCG to get up and then the '66 Batman hit the KAPOW! BANG! BAM! ZORT! WCG slumped down and the '66 Batman began to climb. The fans urged WCG to get up but it was no use. The '66 Batman climbed over the cage and climbed down to the floor below. Steve Youngren raised the '66 Batman's hand.
Clive: "The winner of the 1st Escape, the '66 Batman!"
Johnny: "That was certainly a greuling contest, but it isn't over, this match is 2 out of 3 escapes. Folks, we have to take a break, the 2nd match will begin in just a moment!"
Commercial Break: "Dickie Simons' Homo Brand Milk. Creamy and white and goes down smooth. A great nutritional supplment as you try to acheive your best. When you think of 'wholsome,' think Homo. Dickie Simon's Homo Brand Milk."
Johnny Redneck welcomed everyone back and then the highlight was shown of the KAPOW! BANG! BAM! ZORT! the '66 Batman utilized. Then the highlight of the '66 Batman reaching the floor was shown. Then They showed the Cage and both wrestlers were back inside and the bell rang to start the 2nd match.
Match 2 Synopsis: WCG had a brief rest and so he came out pinching and kicking. He drove the '66 Batman back to the corner and executed shoulder rams into the '66 Batman's stomach. WCG then threw a chop but the '66 Batman shrugged it off and threw WCG into the corner. The '66 Batman threw some hard punches and then he put WCG on the top rope. The '66 Batman then got on the second turnbuckle, back to back with WCG, and hit a top rope Neckbreaker! Johnny Rednceck said that the '66 Batman had a viscious side to him. The '66 Batman sat there, drawing in deep breaths as WCG held his neck in pain. The '66 Batman tried to hit a bat-spalsh but West Coast got his knees up. WCG lay there trying to buy time to recover. he got ointop of the '66 Batman and pounded his head back into a mat a number of times. The West Coast Gangsta then got up, grabbed the '66 Batman's arm and executed a leg drop on it. Then the West Coast Gangsta signalled for and applied the Tequila Sunrise! The '66 Batman screamed out in pain and started tapping out, however, the only way to win was by escape, so tapping out did nothing. WCG kept the hold locked and cinched away. The crowd were cheering and finally the WCG let go. The '66 Batman cradled his arm as WCG started stomping on it. The '66 Batman tried to get away but WCG wouldn't let up. The '66 Batman crawled near the ropes and WCG backed up to get a running start. He charged in but the '66 Batman managed to execute a drop toe hold that sent WCG neck first into the second rope! The '66 Batman then got up, charged and dropped a knee on the back of WCG, forcing WCG's neck into the ropes. The '66 Batman tried shaking off his arm, but the WCG got up and twisted it, he then walked over to the Cage, shoved the '66 Batman's arm through and rammed it against the bar! The '66 Batman walked away cradling his arm and the WCG went after him and nailed a beautiful reverse DDT. The '66 Batman lay there and Redneck said that even thought he wore a mask, one could not deny the fact he was in pain. The WCG straightened out the arm on the mat and then dropped a knee on it. The '66 Batman recoiled it in agony but WCG stomped on it again.
The West Coast Gangsta then pointed up and the crowd cheered. He made his over to the Cage and started climbing. The '66 Batman rolled over on his back and saw the slow progress the WCG was making. The '66 Batman got up and with his good arm, grabbed the ankle of WCG and hauled him down. WCG bounced off the ropes and landed awkeardly on the mat. The '66 Batman hit a falling headbutt and tried to regain use of his battered arm. The West Coast Gangsta got up however and twisted the arm again. WCG threw three clubbing blows on it and then walked back to the turnbuckle. He got up top but before he could hit the move he wanted, the '66 Batman pulled WCG off the top! However the WCG landed on his feet and hit a nice clothesline. The West Coast Gangsta then stood there, signalling for a Bus a Cap. '66 Batman got up, turned and West Coast tried, but the '66 Batman countered. WCG then turned and the '66 Batman got WCG with a Pedigree. The WCG went down and the '66 batman stumbled and fell against the ropes. He then started to climb, trying to make use of his bad arm. He got to the top and then began the climb down. he made it down and Gerald MacKenzie held his good arm up in victory.
Clive: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the 2 out of 3 escapes, the '66 Batman!"
The 1966 Batman TV series theme started to play and a obviously worn '66 batman made his way up the aisle toward the curtain. Johnny Redneck said that was a grueling match. Terry Gold said that although it wasn't bloody, it was still intense. Johnny redneck said it was time to go to the other participant in the Main Event.
EJB: "First of Julia, let me correct something you said. You said my 'family member' Kindred, and that's not true. We used to be cousins. But 5 years ago he made a decision that changed all that when he embraced a life of vampirism. You know Kindred, a lot of people have a lot of different opinions on vampires. Some see them as monsters, some see them as cool, and some see them as a fairy tale. Well, when I look at vampires, you in particular, do you know what I see? A blood sucker, there is one animal known for being a blood sucker besides a vampire bat, and that animal is a leech! Yeah Kindred, you are nothing but a leech to this business! I have a gauze bandage on my head from where you sliced me open with a sickle last week, I still feel sore from that Gothic Dreams Powerbomb you gave me. I heard all your talk about feeding on my sould and other bull[bleep] like that. Let me tell you Kindred, I am the Electric Joy Boy...Endearing, Enduring and Ephen Extreme! You and I have danced around a lot a few years ago. Don't forget that because of me you took a 25 foot drop in what was a dubbed a rafter rumble. I beat your ass before and I can do it again. I'll prove it to you tonight. Tonight, you say the NB won't get involved, well Duncan won't be around either. It'll be you, me and plastique. Tonight Kindred baby, the fans here in the Schmenge brothers Polka and Bingo Hall will get a taste off Barbecued Bat!"
Julia: "Folks, you heard the man, this promises to be a night to remember!"
Johnny: "It sure does Julia, thanks. Terry, we have two matches left in this event. We saw some good battles so far."
Terry: "You bet Johnny. Vector had an amazing match with BGN, Vegeta pulled out a tight win over Esteban Montoya, Lunch Lady Stan is a freak of nature, and the '66 Batman won a grueling match."
Johnny: "A great night, but the best is yet to come. C4 Exploding Cage Match! But before that, we have an "I Quit Cage Match!"
Terry: "ECCW Heavyweight Champ Koji Yamasuka against the righteous Dolemite. Let's go down to Clive Johnson."
Johnny: "Hey, that's my line."
Clive: "Ladies and gentlemen, this next cage Match is under 'I Quit Rules!' Introducing first. He hails from Kyoto, Japan; He stands at 5'7" and weighs 235 pounds. He is the current ECCW Heavyweight title holder. He is "The White Dragon" Koji Yamasuka."
"Lose Yourself" by Eminem starts to play and Koji comes out in his white Gi pants with hand and foot wraps. He bows to the crowd and then throws some high martial arts kicks. He walks down the aisle, slapping hands with the fans as he walks. he gets into the cage and climbs on top of it, pumping his fists into the air.
Clive: "And his opponent. He stands at 5'10" and weighs 225 pounds. From Chicago, Illinois, he is Rudy "Dolemite" Jackson!"
"Bone Crusher" by Lyrical Giants starts to play and out comes the Dolemite. He is wearing long black tights with a go0ld "D" on the butt. He slaps hands with the fans who cheer him as he makes his way to the Cage. He gets in and stands toe to toe with Koji. Referee Lyle Jones has the cordless mic in hand and Clive gets out of the ring. The door is locked as Dolemite and Koji trade words. Lyle calls for the bell and this match gets started.
Match Synopsis: Dolemite tried for a collar and elbow tie up but Koji lept back, then sprung ahead with a stright thrust kick. Johnny said that Koji had an extensive background in martial arts. Terry reminded everyone that Dolemite had training as well. Koji tried a high kick but Dolemite blocked it. Koji then faked a second kick but then got Dolemite with a palm thrust. Dolemite tried a kick, but Koji caught it and then went low with a back sweep, knocking Dolemite on his butt. Koji motioned to Dolemite to get up. Dolemite and Koji then started to intensify the martial arts striking, with Dolemite showing equal defensive ability to Koji. Both then then went and did a crescent kick, each man nailing the other. Koji tried a spin kick that Dolemite dodge. Dolemite then hit a low blow, got behind Koji and executed a pumphandle suplex. Dolemite tried to apply the Figure Four, but as he turned, Koji kicked Dolemite in the behind and got free. Koji then got up and kicked Dolemite in the hamstring. Koji hit a second kick and Dolemite responded with a hard back elbow that caught Koji on the chin. Dolemite then turned and tried to kick Koji but Koji booted Dolemite in the gut firat and hit the Factor Facebuster! (X-Factor)
Kojio then grabbed Dolemite's arm and tried to execuite an armbar but Dolemite turned into it and Koji couldn't get the pressure he wanted, so Koji let go and hit a DDT. Koji tried to grab the ankle for an akle lock, but Dolemite kicked Koji in the knee and got back to his feet. He threw some more kicks at Koji's legs but Koji answered back with a series of hard right and lefts that sent Dolemite back to the corner. Koji then used the middle rope as a spingboard and kicked Dolemite in the chest. Dolmite slumped down and Koji threw some forearms down at Dolemite. Koji then got Dolemite out of the corner and whipped him off the ropes, Koji and Dolemite both tried to execute a spinning wheel kick on each other. Both men got up and Dolemite kicked Koji, then lifted him up and slammed him with a two-step Death Valley Driver. Koji landed hard and held his head, Dolemite lifted Koji up and bodyslammed him. Dolemite tried an elbow but Koji rolled out of the way. Dolemite got up and hauled Koji up but Koji executed a mongolian chop that sent Dolemite back a step. Koji then did a low dropkick on the knee of Dolemite. Koji steeped in but Dolemite hit another low blow followed by a scoop reverse DDT. Dolemite then applied the eastern stretch and tried to get Koji to submit. Koji refused and Dolemite let the hold go. Koji then booted Dolemite in the gut and oput of nowehere applied The Mandible Claw! Dolemite dropped to his knees and then out of desperation, Dolemite executed a claw of his own, a Testicular Claw! Both men held each other in the hold and then both men were forced to let go. Dolemite dropped on his back breathing hard and Koji was on his knees groaning in pain.
Dolemite got back to his feet and did a running low kick, nailing Koji in the gut. Dolemite then started throwing kicks at Koji's arms and finished off with a shot to the head. Dolemite then picked up Koji and hit a second Death Valley Driver. Dolemite then gave a thumbs down, picked up Koji and executed the DOLEMITE DROP. Dolemite then looked at a hurting Koji, rolled him onto his stomach and applied the Fujiwara Armbar. Lyle got in Koji's face with the mic and the severly battered Koji conceded defeated and said "I Quit!"
Clive: "The winner of this match as the result of a submission; Dolemite!"
"Bone Crusher" by the Lyrical Giants started to play as Dolemite left the Cage and headed to the back. Johnny said that Dolemite prevented Da Ghetto Crew from going 0-3. Terry Gold said that was a good give and take match with some good exhibition in martial arts. Johnny redneck said this would be the last commercial break as the Main Event was coming up next!
Commercial Break: ""Stanley Hosspiss Beer- Tastes as good as it sounds. Brewed since 1932. Stanley Hosspiss Beer, Beer as it truly is. Hosspiss, look for it."
Johnny: "Well folks, this is it. The Main Event for Cage Rage, Kindred and EJB in a C4 Exploding Cage match. There is C4 placed on the tope at each other and in the middle halfway up the Cage on each side. They are rigged to explode after 15 minutes. In each corner, there is a board with some C4 on it that will detonate on impact! This will be a truly memorable night."
Clive: "Now folks, it is time for the Main Event of EIWF's Cage Rage Free-Per-View spectacular on EIWF's Fierce Friday here on SCTV. This match is a C4 Exploding Cage match. If there is no pin or submission in 15 minutes, then the charges set in the Cage will explode! Now, introducing first. he stands at 6'5" and weighs in at 275 pounds. Hailing from Travsylvania, he is a member of the Nocturnal Brotherhood. Here is 'The Vampyric Warrior' Kindred!"
"Sweet Dreams" by Marylin Manson starts to play as the lights in the Hall go down and red spotlights shine on the entrance. Mist gathers in front of the entrance as well and Kindred comes out behind the curtain in black tights with "NB" on the leg in red and wearing a white Goth Shirt. Kindred crouches low in front of the curtain for a second and then gets up and walks slowly toward the Cage. He slides into the ring and slithers to the middle of the ring. He stays on his knees, smiling and showing off his fangs as he waits and the house lights come on.
Clive: "And his opponent. He stands at 6'3" and weighs in at 235 pounds. From Ottawa, Ontario, Canada, he is the Electric Joy Boy, EJB!"
The crowd roars as "Wherever I May Roam" by Metallica starts to play. The camera shows EJB in the back with the fans. He walks among the crowd carrying a bottle of Molson and carrying his Singapore Cane. He finishes off his bottle and grabs beer from the fans to drink. He makes it to the security rail and then grabs another beer. he lifts it up high and chugs it. He hops over the rail and looks at Kindred. EJB stands there in his black skater toque, red Ottawa Senators jersey and black track pants. He gets into the cage and Kindred charges in to attack, making Clive dive out of the ring for safety. The door is closed but not locked as Gerald macKenzie, the senior ref calls for the bell.
Match Synopsis: Kindred had EJB bent over, clubbing him on the back. EJB however took his Singapore cane and used the end to butt Kindred in the stomach with it. EJB then hit Kindred in the knee with the Cane. EJB dropped the Cane, kicked Kindred in the gut picked him up and executed a Running Powerbomb into a C4 Board! There was a massive "Baboom!" and Kindred screamed in pain from the explosion. Smoke rose up and srarted to fill the Hall as EJB and Kindred lay there. Kindred writhing in pain from the burn from the explosion. EJB was dazed from the concussion of the blast, but he got up and mounted Kindred, throwing hard right hands at the vampire. EJB then took his forearm and ground it into Kindred's neck. Kindred brought up a knee in a low blow and EJB rolled off in pain. Kindred then raked the eyes of EJB and struggled to get back to his feet. Kindred stood, and the fans gasped at what they saw. The back of his shirt was shredded, his back was mixture of black and red and smoke was coming up from his tattered shirt. EJB got back to his feet and Kindred threw a chop. Kindred threw a second but EJB blocked it, booted Kindred and hit a Rocker Dropper. Kindred however popped right back up and nailed a Spinebuster on EJB.
Kindred started to stomp and then went down for a blatant choke. He then lifted EJB up and whipped him, they came off opposite sides of the ropes and nailed each other with a double clothesline. Both of them had an arm draped, but Kindred raised a shoulder and Gerald went down to count. EJB got up at 2 and then mounted Kindred. He threw some more hard right hands and for good measure, poked a thumb in Kindred's eye. EJB then got up and grabbed Kindred by the legs., Johnny Redneck speculated that maybe EJB would go for a submission like a Boston Crab, but instead EJB did a Slingshot that sent Kindred into another board! The board exploded and Kindred back pain screaming in pain. Johnny Redneck said this was bad, first the back had been burnt, now the front. He was amazed Kindred was still alive. Terry Gold said this was brutal and this was the way to have careers ended. EJB looked down at the quivering mass of his opponent and placed a boot on Kindred's stomach. Gerald went down to count but at 2, Kindred grabbed EJB's ankle and applied a Shamrock Ankle Lock! EJB rolled over, grabbed the nearby Singapore Cane and cracked it off over Kindred's forehead! Kindred started to bleed from the forehead and the Cane was shattered in half. EJB got to his feet and he put his two hands arpund Kindred's throat ad executed a Choke Lift. EJB walked over to one of the remaining 2 C4 Boards and did a Choke Toss onto the C4 board! For the 3rd time there was a loud explosion, people screamed and so did Kindred. Johnny Redneck said that was enough, he begged that the match be stopped! Terry Gold said this was absolutely appalling. Kindred rolled around the mat in agony, and EJB was dazed by the explosion. EJB turned and got to his feet. He made a lateral press but Kindred kicked out! Both men got to their feet and both hit each other hard with a right hook. EJB snapped out of it first and tackled Kindred. EJB went to one of the used boards and he threw it onto the mat. he dragged Kindred over to the corner and EJB got onto the second turnbuckle. EJB then hit the Electric Joy Buzz! EJB kept the face lock on the Tornado DDT, making it a guillotine choke now. He had the hold applied and then let it go. He went for another cover, but Kindred slipped a shoulder up! EJB grabbed Kindred by the hair but Kindred hit a low blow.
EJB dropped to his knees and Kindred fell flat on his face. Jim Monoghan got a great closeup of Kindred's face, showing the absolute agony Kindred was enduring. EJB got back to his first and hauled up Kindred. He hooked Kindred's arms in an Unprettier position, but then EJB bent over, turned and then stood up with Kindred on his back, upside down. EJB then got a running start and slammed Kindred down with the Joy Ride! EJB rolled Kindred onto his back and then lay across Kindred's chest on his back, with the back of his elbows propped on Kindred's chest and stomach. The ref went for the count but Kindred reversed it into a backslide type pin! EJB got out at 1 and stomped on Kindred.
EJB looked at the final C4 board and looked at the clock which was winding down. He went over to the board and grabbed it by the bottom. Johnny Redneck said that EJB was going to blow himself up. Amazingly, EJB got the board on the mat and dragged it out a little ways without it going off. He grabbed a severely hurt Kindred by the hair and got him in the corner. EJB then raised a fist and shouted "Molson-Canrana!"
Johnny: "EJB calling for the Molson-Canrana, please don't tell me he intends on dropping Kindred on that final board."
Terry: "I'm sure he does. I wonder if this qualifies as 'Assault and Battery' now? What is EJB doing? Why hasn't he hit the move yet?"
Johnny: "He appears to be looking for something...wait a minute, what...who's that? OH MY! That's Walt Peterson! He just hopped the guard rail! What is Walt Peterson doing here? He wasn't slated to show up for a few weeks yet! Peterson has a can of what appears to be Molson Canadian. He slipping it into the cage! EJB takes it, he mounts Kindred in the corner. EJB opens the Molson, he takes a long swig and...he just spewed it in Kindred's face! And. OH MY NO! KINDRED WAS JUST THE VICTIM OF A MOLSON-CANRANA ON THAT C4 BOARD! EJB goes for the cover, 1...2...3 thank God this is over!"
Clive: "Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match, the Electric Joy Boy, EJB!"
The clock started to wind down, there was 1 minute left. Gerald MacKenzie and EJB left the Cage, Gerald tried to get help to get Kindred out. However, EJB padlocked the door and brandished a chair to keep anyone from going near the door. Peterson hopped back over the guard rail, and then the countdown began. Everyone left the cage and the first three rows had been moved well back. There was no within 25 feet of the Cage except except for Kindred. The fans counted down from 10 and Kindred stood up in the middle of the cage as the clock reached 0. The C4 on the corners of the cage and in the middle of each side went off with thunderous booms. There were screams all over the building and smoke filled the Hall.
Johnny: "This is horrendous! EJB just sent Kindred straight to hell! Kindred was locked inside that cage went it blew, we can't see a damn thing! With God as my witness, I have no love for the NB, but EJB became as bad as they are tonight. He won the match, but he could very well have lost his soul. We can't see a thing, is Kindred even alive in there?
Terry: "I just been told we have to go."
Johnny: "Fans, our time is up, thanks for tuning in to EIWF's Fierce Friday FPV Special Cage Rage! We'll try to have updates next week! Oh this war between EJB and the NB has gotten so ugly so damn quick! Good night!"