All 750 fans in the high school gym were on their feet as the EIWF theme song "The Latest and the Last" by Demon Hunter roared through the speakers. For those watching on SCTV they were welcomed to the show by:
"Hello everyone, I'm Johnny Redneck and with me here is "The Monarch" Terry Gold, and we wish to thank you for tuning in to see the Extreme Indy Wrestling Federation's First ever TV broadcast!"
"Johnny, it is an absolute honor to be here in a new federation looking to make a big mark. There are a lot of new, hungry wrestlers who wish to be made into stars."
"Boy you got that right Terry! We also have signed some vets that are sure to shock some people watching. Right now, let's go to the ring with our announcer, Clive Johnson!"
Clive Johnson stands in the ring holding a mic. He has a card in his hand and starts reading.
"Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce the owner of EIWF, Mr Stefano DiMera!"
Stefano DiMera, a man who looks to be in his fifties with a brown goatee with some grey, brown hair and wearing a fashionable suit comes out from behind the curtain and walks to the ring. He climbs in and takes the mic.
"Hello wrestling fans! I honestly hope you enjoy what EIWF is going to bring to you. I could go on and on about the Staff and the Talent who will comprise this new venture, but I won't waste time. You will see for yourselves who is in this federation. I have signed wrestlers eager to make a name for themselves, and I have established vets who know their craft. I also came out here because I want the fans here and watching at home to know something. I don't know anything about running a pro wrestling organization. I am an accomplished businessman, but pro wrestling isn't like any other business, so even though I am the owner and my money funds this organization, I won't be on TV every week, and I won't make myself or my family members central to every match like the McMahon's have done! Now, the man who will run this organization with my blessing, the EIWF Commissioner, Eric Caldwell!"
"The Latest and The Last" start to play as another man in a suit starts to coime out from behind the curtain. He gets into the ring, smiling and shakes hands with Mr DiMera firmly and cordially. Caldwell is holding a cordless microphone.
"Thank you Mr DiMera. Just as Mr DiMera won't be seeking the camera, neither will I. My appearances will be minimal and only when necessary. This federation will not be about the crooked commisioner, this will not be about me in any way, shape or form. I will decide title shots, but I won't show favoritism or bias. EIWF will be a place where wrestlers and their talents are showcased. I will be in control of this federation but I won't use EIWF to feed my ego. That is why Mr DiMera hired me. Folks, EIWF will return Pro wrestling to...Pro Wrestling. Not a Family Drama, not a Political game, not a Soap Opera. I will show you Old School, Brawling, Extreme, Lucha Libre, High Flying, EIWF has it all.
Next week, I will talk about how I will decide the awarding of the Broadcast and EIWF World Title. Tonight however, we begin the process of corwnig the EIWF Tag Champions. There are 8 registered official teams, and the Tag team Titles are for Official Teams, not two guys thrown together for the sake of a story. There are 8 teams so that makes prefect brackets for a tournament. Tonight, we will have 2 Quarterfinal matches. The finals will take place on the same night as the other Title matches, more on that next week. However, that's enough talk: It's time for action!"
The fans cheer as Caldwell opens the ropes for DiMera. DiMera and Caldwell leave the ring and head back to the curtain. Johnny Redneck tells the viewers to hang on because they need to take a commercial break.
(Commercial Break) Fabrizzio's Essence of Garlic: Whether out hunting vampires or knocking down people at a Benny Hinn crusade, Fabrizzio's Essence of Garlic gets the job done!
"Hello everyone and welcome to EIWF's Firece Friday! I'm Johnny Redneck here with "The Monarch" Terry Gold and we are ready for our first contest! It will feature two of our Bruiserweights, Super Kabuki and Rave! Let's go to Clive Johnson"
"Ladies and Gentlemen, this next match is slated for one fall and is under Hardcore rules! Making his way to the ring first, standing at 5'10", weighing 200 pounds, from Tokyo, Japan, Super Kabuki!"
"Time to Go" by the Dropkick Murphys started to play as Kabuki came out through the curtains with his fists in the air. The fans gave a lukewarm response, not really sure what to think of him yet. He got on the top turnbuckle and did a backflip into the ring. He then stood in the corner as the music ended and Clive spoke up again.
"And his opponent. He stands at 6'2" and weighs 195 pounds. He hails from Mailbu Beach, California. he is Rave!"
"Dread Rock" by Okenfold started to play and the lights went out. Simple spotlights started to flicker around the gym and Rave came out in his white spandex trunks, and the girls went wild when they saw his smile. As Rave danced down to the ring with glow sticks the guys shook their heads at the pretty boy until Rave got on the top turnbuckle and got in the ring. The house lights came up and Rave did a backflip into the ring, looked at Kabuki and made a taunting face. Clive got out of the ring and referee Steve Youngren called for the bell.
Johnny: "Well folks, the bell has sounded and EIWF's first match is underway! Kabuki and Rave going into a collar and elbow tie up. Kabuki pushes Rave back into the corner, it seems he's pushing the pace, he might not be pleased with Rave mocking him."
Terry: "Well Kabuki needs to maintain his cool. You can't be a baby in there. Wait, what's going on?"
Johnny: "Terry, the lights have gone out, I don't know why! What is going on? I'm sure everything was paid for!"
The lights come on with the referee Steve Youngren, Rave, and Super Kabuki on the mat. Standing in the ring are two men. They both appear to be around 6'5". One of the men is wearing leather pants, a white gothic style shirt and has slicked blond hair in a ponytail. The other man is wearing a black cloak with the hood up to hide his face. The man with the cloak has the mic normally used by Clive Johnson. The fans are booing the two men as they are recognizable.
"Hello EIWF, I am your new overlord, Paladyn, the Lord of Nocturne, and with me is one of the men who will help build a dark order here in this territory, the Vampyric Warrior, Kindred!"
Kindred smiles, revealing his fangs, the fans throw debris into the ring as Paladyn starts to talk again.
"You fools can boo all you want, but the Nocturne is never crushed, never destroyed. That is a mistake a man named Duncan Fraser made, he thought he put me away for good, but he didn't realize something...evil always comes back...and the Nocturnal brotherhood is here to do what we have always done, dominate and decimate!"
Johnny: "These guys make me sick! Two new prospects were going to try to put on a match when this happened, if they wanted interview time they should have booked it!"
Terry: "Love them or hate them, these two have enjoyed success over the years, they know how to get the job done. They will be tough to beat."
The lights go out again as Paladyn hands the mic to Kindred. Johnny Redneck questions about what could possibly happen next. Terry Gold admitted he had no idea. When the lights came on however, fans roared.
Johnny: "Oh my! Oh my! It's Duncan Fraser and EJB! EJB just cracked his Singapore Cane over the back of Kindred's head and Duncan nailed Paladyn with a Barbed Wire 2x4! Look at that! Paladyn and Kindred are out of the ring on the concrete floor! Amazing! The NB may not make an impact after all!"
Terry: "This is getting ugly fast."
EJB cracked open a can of Molson and raised it in the air. Duncan also raised his Barbed Wire 2x4 into the air at the same time. As they did so, the lights went out again. Johnny Redneck asked how EIWF could be behind on their bills if this was their first show. Terry Gold said that all this was starting to hurt his eyes. When the lights came back on EJB and Duncan Fraser were in the grip of a 7'0" monster in a black, tight fitting costume with a mask. Behind the mask were menacing green eyes. He choked both Duncan and EJB and let them drop to the mat unconscious. Paladyn laughed as he got back into the ring, his hood down, his eyes blue, but starting to darken to light brown.
"See? The Nocturnal Brotherhood will dominate and decimate, say hello to "The Dungeonlord", Nightsapwn!
The fans booed, but looked scared to death of the trio. Eric Caldwell came out from behimd the curtain and got into the ring, staring Paladyn down. Johnny Redneck commented about how Caldwell was going to be a take charge kind of commissioner. Terry Gold said that Stefano might have to hire a new comissioner before the show was over.
Eric: "Paladyn, you and your cronies are going to get one warning, DO NOT touch referees, DO NOT interfere in matches you have no place in, and DO NOT dream of touching me! I am the law here! You, Kindred and that freak of yours will get to the backstage area now and you will not come out here again unless you are booked for an interview or match! Understood?"
Paladyn's eyes flashed to blue for a second and he stiffened. He then grinned and his eyes reverted back to brown, something that Terry Gold said unnerved him. Without syaing a word, Paladyn led Kindred and Darkchylde to the back as the three other referees and Dr Bryan Duncan tended to the fallen Rave, Kabuki, EJB, Duncan and ref Youngren. Johnny Redneck said they would go to a break while the mess was being cleaned up.
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"Hello fans, welcome back to EIWF's Fierce Friday on SCTV, boy Terry, those Franklin's PMS tablets could have saved my fifth marriage to my first cousin. I am Johnny Redneck and up next is the first match in the EIWF Tag team Tournament. It will feature Curtis Vector and Captain Amazing, the team of the Technical Specialists against the West Coast Gangsta and the BGN."
Terry: "Yes, and even though we all know what it stands for, we can't say it on air. I'm looking forward to this match. Vector and Amazing are prideful of their technical skill and the Black Panthers are tough opponents. BGN is well over 350 pounds."
Clive: "Ladies and gentlemen, it is time for the first quarterfinal match up in the EIWF Tag Team Title Tournament. It is schedules for one fall and will be fought under Old School Rules! Introducing first: From Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada, he stands at 6'1" and weighs 227 pounds, he is "Pure Gold" Curtis Vector!"
"O Canada" started to play and out came Vector wearing a red varsity style jacket over his white wrestling singlet with red trim. He was also carrying the Canadian Flag as he walked down to the ring. He got in the ring and stood there expressionless as he waited.
Clive: "And his tag team partner. He stands at 6'7" and weighs 259 pounds, from Washington DC, he is Captain Amazing, and together they are the Technical Specialists!"
"My Sacrifice" by Creed started to play as Captain Amazing came out. he saluted the fans and tried to slap hands with them, but not many seemed inetrested. Captain Amazing got into the ring and joined Vector who was stretching. Together they talked while Clive continued the intros.
Clive: "And their opponents: Coming to the ring first being accompanied by Baby Momma ; He hails from Compton and weighs 223 pounds, he is the West Coast Gangsta!"
"Get Rich Or Die Tryin" by 50 Cent starts to play as WCG comes out in an urban sweat suit to cheer from the crowd. Baby Momma comes out in a pair of tight jeans, black boots with a long stilletto heel and a halter top with long fake nails. They walk down to the ring and WCG rolls in looking at Vector and Amazing.
"And his tag team partner. He is originally from Baton Rouge, LA. He stands at 6'4" and weighs 375 pounds! Accompanied to the ring by Rufus, he is the BGN!"
The fans cheer as BGN comes out wearing a jersey, sweat pants and eating a bucket of chicken. Rufus is trying to get the chicken away but BGN keeps on eating. "Never, never Gonna Give You Up" by barry White is playing and BGN tries to eat the chicken seductively for a few female fans. Rufus manages to drag BGN to the ring and BGN gets in. He sets the chicken down in the corner and Vector grabs the mic as the music ends."
Vector: "This is a disgrace! Here we have another angry man from the ghetto, and we have a man with an obvious eating disorder! You two gentlemen should not be in the ring, you two should be in therapy! Well, thankfully for you, Captain Amazing and I will beat you down and end the match the quickly so you can leave early and get the help you so desperately need. I don't see wrestlers, I see trash!"
The fans booed and jeered Vector as Johnny Redneck said those comments weren't gracious at all. terry Gold commented that BGN did look unhealthy though. West Coast Gangsta took the mic from Vector's hand and got up in his face.
"You are real funny man, but you know what, the Big Gian N***a and I are here to whoop some [bleep] and bus a cap! Yo honky [bleep] is gonna get handed to you tonight sucka!"
Jonnhy: "Oh my1 Vector didn't like that one bit! He and Gangsta trading right hands! They are fired up! BGN and Captain Amazing tying up! This one just started and already the ref has lost control!"
Terry: "Sigh. I really did want see some technical wrestling."
Match Synopsis: After the inital melee, order was restored and the two men starting off were WCG and Vector. WCG hit Vector with a flurry of right hands, brought him to the corner and rammed his shoulder into Vector. He whipped Vector into the oppositie corner and followed up with a nice clothesline. Vector staggered out of the corner and WCG hits a two handed facebuster. With Vector dazed, WCG quickly slapped on the Tequilla Sunrise but Captain Amazing broke the hold.
WCG made a tag to BGN who then lifted Vector up and squeezed him with a bear hug. Vector escaped by raking the eyes and slumped over to his corner where he tagged in Captai Amazing. Captain Amazing and BGN traded punches when Amazing tried to whip BGN off the ropes, BGN reversed and Captain Amazing boucned off but hit BGN with a flying forearm that knocked BGN back a couple of steps. Amazing tried again to get a running start but BGN used Amazing's momentum against him and sent Captain Amazing over the top rope. WCG hopped down as BGN went over to harrass Vector. Vector tried to get into the ring but the ref stopped him. West Coast Gangsta took advantage with a chair. He hit Captain Amazing hard with it, then rammed Cap's head into the post and rolled Captain Amazing into the ring. They made the tag and it was Amazing and WCG.
WCG tried taking charge with a series of shots, but Captain Amazing responded with wicked chops. Captain Amazing then ran WCG head first into the turnbuckle and did it 10 times on WCG. Captain Amazing then hit a belly to back suplex followed by nice vertical suplex. He whipped WCG into his own corner and tagged in Vector. Captain Amazing placed WCG across his knee in a front backbreaker and Vector hit a leg drop from the middle turnbuckle.
Vector went for a pin but got 2. He hauled WCG but the gangsta fired back with elbows to the stomach. Vector then whipped West Coast Gangsta into the turnbuckle and tried to charge in. WCG moved and Vector hit face first. Vector stumbled back out and WCG hit the Bus a Cap! The fans cheered and BGN encouraged his parner to get up. WCG got an arm draped across the shoulder of Vector but Vector avoided the pin.
Both men got back to their feet and traded sluggish rights. WCG tried to boot Vector in the gut to set up another "Bus a Cap" but Vector caught the leg and launched WCG with a Calgary Capture Suplex! Vector dropped down and Johnny redneck said it was time that both those reached their tag partner. The fans cheered and whistled and stomped their feet and both teams made a hot tag.
Both BGN and Captain Amazing traded hard shots. BGN then scooped up Amazing and slammed him. BGN went for a Big Giant Splash but missed. Vector and Amazing double suplexed a weakened WCG and then as BGN struggled to get up, Vector and Amazing hit double missle dropkicks! Vector rolled out of the ring and Amazing went up. He called for and hit the Amazing Splash Terry Gold said the technique on that 450 splash was flawless. Amazing lay on BGN who was helpless, but as referee Kieran O'Mally went to make the count, Rufus hopped up onto the apron! Vector left the aprona nd immedaitely went around the ring to get at Rufus. As the referee was distracted with both men and baby Momma, through the curtains like a bolt ran a man Johnny Redneck said looked like a wrestler named "Dolemite." Dolemite reached into his baggy jeans and pulled out a set of brass knuckles! He drilled Captain Amazing from behind and rolled the Cap onto his back. Dolemite then left the ring and headed through the curtain as BGN managed to get his mammoth mass rolled over onto Captain Amazing. Kieran O'Mally turned and went down, Vector tried to get in the ring but was held back by a newly revived WCG, 1-2-3 and we had winners!
"Your winners, the West Coast Gangsta, the BGN, the team of The Black Panthers!"
The fans cheered as the Panthers had their arms raised. Johnny Redneck said that it was a shame the match ended like it did. Terry Gold said that the stranger who helped them would probably be high on Vector's and Amazing's hit list. Redneck said EIWF would be back after a message.
Stanley Hosspiss Beer- "Tastes as Good as it Sounds."
Johnny: "Welcome back to EIWF's Fierce Friday! That was indeed a fierce battle between The Technical Specialists and The Black Panthers, they will go on in the tournament. Now folks, we have our next match coming up, let's go to Clive Johnson."
Terry: "Why do you always get to say that?"
The camera shows the ring, but there is no Clive. Instead there is a skinny, short, man with male pattern baldness, a mustache and he is holding the mic. Clive Johnson looks on confused.
"I am here tonight to introduce you to one of the men who will be in the Main Event for tonight, and he will become the EIWF Heavyweight Champion, and a Co-Holder of the EIWF Tag Titles before Christmas! Ladies and gentlemen, the futrure of EIWF!"
Johnny Redneck and Terry Gold both relayed their confusion as "Eye of the Tiger" started to play. The camera got a close up of the curtain and the place went livid as a huge man who looked exactly like Hulk Hogan did in 1986 came out. He did the Hogan poses and behind him in a cheap white leisure shut was a shirt, fat man with slicked hair. They walked down to the ring together and got in. Redneck said he couldn't believe his eyes.
"Folks, tell EIWF who you both are please."
The short man spoke first. "I'm Brother Luv and I LUUUUUUUV you! But I LUV your money even more-uh! And so you see-uh I have come here to EIWF-uh and I have come to EIWF-uh with a mission. I am here to take as much money as I can, and to help do it-uh, is my discovery-uh. Together we will take in money, tons of money, by entertaining you fine folks-uh!"
"Ok Brother Luv, we know who are you are, but who is this wrestler?"
"Well let me tell ya something Lene Gene, first of all brother I think you drop the ruse you've been usin brah, because all of these people at home ahve to know somethnig brother, you are not an official EIWF reporter dude! You are my personal Interviewer brother! And let me tell ya Lene Gene dude. I'm Hulk 2k5 brother!
You see Lene Gene, growing up as a kid I idolized the Hulk dude, but he's old now brother, Hogan can't take the load the way he once did dude. He can't go on the road, travellin the circuit, wrestling on cards the way he used to brah, so I came along dude and I knew that someone would have to step up brother, someone would have to carry on the work dude. So I enlisted the evangelist here dude, and together he and I are going to go all over dude and reach are going to reach a whole new generation of Hulkamaniacs brother! It begins tonight dude. caldwell has me and my tag partner in the Tag Tournament dude, and we are set to go brah, and tonight brother, this union of good will prevail and we will set the world ablaze like never before brah! WHA' CHA GONNA DOOOOO? WHEN HULK 2K5 RUNS OVER YOU?"
Hulk poses and grunts for the crowd and Lene Gene bids everyone farewell until later. "Eye of the Tiger" starts to play again as Hulk and company leave the ring. Johnny Redneck wondered where Stefano DiMera hired some of these people. Terry Gold said that it was absolutely hilarious and he was looking forward to it. Redneck said now it was time to get to the ring.
"Ladies and gentlemen, this next match is scheduled for one fall and is a Hardcore Match! Coming to the ring first: He hails from Parts Unknown, standing at 6'1" and weighing 222 pounds. He is Mr. Mean!"
"A Little Less Conversation" the remix version by JXL starts to play and out comes Mr Mean in his black mask. The fans boo him as he comes out with a scowl on his face. He stops to yell at a few fans which only makes them boo louder. He gets in the ring, gets on the second turnbuckle and poses.
"And his opponent. He stands at 6'7" and weighs 300 pounds. He hails from Melonville...Lunch Lady Stan!"
"Theme to Airwolf" started to play and the fans roared as Lunch lady Stan came through the curtain wearing a white cafeteria worker's outfit with a stained white apron. In his hand was a greasy spatula. Lunch Lady Stan walked to the ring, looking a bit confused. He climbed over the top rope and held the spatula high into the air.
JR: "Lunch lady Stan is from here in Melonville so make no mistake about him being the crowd favorite. He also used to wrestle in a small fed that died quickly after it started. And...Oh! Chair Shot by Mr. Mean from behind! Lyle Jones calling for the bell and this one is underway!"
Match Synopsis: After the chair shot, Mr Mean dropped the chair and began putting the boots to Lunch Lady Stan. Stan rolled to the outside where Mr Mean gave chase. He tried lifting Lunch lady Stan up for a Suplex but Stan blocked it and reversed. Stan then got Mean to his feet and threw a big punch that sent Mean reeling. Stan then proceeded to whip Mean into the security rail. Mr Mean was groggy as Stan approached, got Mean up and hit a Triple Shopulderbreaker! Mean lay there holding his shoulder as Stan grabbed a chair from a fan and threw it down on Mr Mean. Stan then followed up with a Leg Drop onto the chair. The fans were into it as Stan then used to chair to smack Mr Mean as he lay there helpless. Stan turned away to bask in the adulation of the crowd and to get a few hugs when mr Mean, who was on his knees at this point, hit Stan with a viscious Low Blow. Lunch Lady Stan dopped down and Mr Mean threw Stan's head against the guard rail. Mr Mean then went back into the ring and tried to favor his shoulder. Lunch Lady Stan got to his feet and got into the ring, Mr Mean hit another Low Blow to send Lunch Lady Stan down. Mr Mean then dragged Stan over to the turnbuckle, slipped out of the ring and applied the Figure Four Leg Lock around the ringpost! He let go of the hold and then looked for a chair.
Johnny Redneck said that for a guy who preferred 70's style wrestling, Mr Mean was certainly showing his extreme side. Terry gold said that Stan was bigger and tougher, so Mr Mean would do whatever was needed to win. Plus, there was nothnig really extreme about the Figure Four around the post anyway.
Lunch Lady Stan was on his back when Mr Mean draped Stan's leg over the bottom rope, and then jumped on it. Mr Mean then went top and tried a knee drop but Stan rolled out of the way. Both men lay there holding their knees. Stan got to his feet first and hit a DDT, he went for a cover but got 1. Mr Mean got back to his feet and raked the eyes of Stan. He booted Stan in the gut and got a head scissors drop. He kept the head scissors applied as the fans booed. Stan got out of the head scissors and stomped on Mr Mean. Stan's leg looked like it was getting better when Stan whipped Mr mean off the ropes and hit a nice tilt a whirl slam. Stan then went under the ring and pulled out a table! The fans roared as Stan slid the table in, set it up and then hit a One Handed Chokeslam through the table! The fans were on their feet cheering for Lunch Lady Stan. Johnny Redneck said that was a devestating manouver there. Lunch Lady Stan then left the ring to get another table and Terry Gold said that was a mistake. Stan set the table up outside and when he got onto the apron, Mr Mean had recovered and was waiting with the chair. He nailed Stan on the head by jumping off the middle turnbuckle with Chair in hand, nailing Stan and making Stan fall off the apron and through the table!
Mr Mean got back into the ring and dropped the chair as the fans were shocked that their hometown kid was in the wreckage. Because there were no countouts Mr Mean couldn't win the match, and because Extreme rules state that pins or submissions must happen in the ring, mr Mean couldn't pin Stan on the floor outside. So Mr Mean went down and did his best to get the 300 pounder up onto the apron and into the ring.
Mr Mean got Lunch Lady Stan into the ring and grabbed the legs. Mr Mean signalled for a Figure Four Leg Lock, however, when Mr Mean turned around, Lunch Lady Stan booted mr Mean in the butt. Stan got to his feet and as Mr Mean charged in, Lunch Lady Stan bent down, lifted Mr Mean up and dropped him with a Hot Shot. Lunch Lady Stan then left the ring and set up a third table! He got back into the ring and in a shocking move, Lunch Lady Stan Gorilla Pressed Slammed Mr Mean over the ropes, and through the table! Johnny Redneck said that Mr Mean might be dead. Terry Gold said that Mr Mean didn't want to see any of that action, that definitely wasn't from 1973.
As Mr Mean lay there, Lunch Lady Stan got some cookie sheets, a frying pan and his greasy spatula. He threw them all into the ring and then picked up Mr Mean. He then hit a fallaway slam sending Mr Mean to the wooden floor of the gym. Lunch Lady Stan then picked up mr Mean and atomic dropped him onto the guard rail. Lunch Lady Stan then got a running start and gave Mr Mean the Big Freakin Boot that sent Mr Mean violently off the rail and face first into a chair.
Lunch lady Stan stood there as the fans chanted "Stan! Stan! Stan!" Mr Mean looked to be in a lot of pain he lay on the floor. Lunch lady Stan threw him over the guard rail and then climbed over. As he approached Mr Mean, Mr Mean grabbed a peice of table and gave Lunch Lady Stan a Low Blow with the table peice!
Mr Mean rolled Lunch lady Stan into the ring and went for the cover, but Lunch lady Stan managed to kick out! Mr Mean looked frustrated, his mouth did anyway as he got Stan up. Mr Mean then tried to whip Stan but Stan reversed, Stan went off the opposite ropes, they ducked each other, came back again and in the middle of the ring they collided with a double clothesline. The fans started clapping for Lunch Lady Stan to get up. Johnny redneck said this was one amazing match. Mr Mean managed to get up first and peppered Stan with open handed blows, Stan came back with a series of fists, Mr Mean then went downstairs with a low dropkick that sent Stan down, but when Mr Mean went for a jumping pin, Stan got his knees up into Mean's ribs. Stan then hit a fast DDT and looked around. He stacked three chairs on top of each other then took Mr Mean to the turnbuckle. Stan got on the middle turnbuckle and then lifted Mr Mean up with him. Then in an amazing display of power, Lunch lady Stan Gorilla Pressed Mr Mean over his head, and Mr Mean landed on the stacked chairs! Lunch Lady Stan then rolled Mr Mean off, made the cover and got the victory to a huge ovation.
Clive: "Your winner, Lunch Lady Stan!"
Johnny: "Folks, what a war! Lunch lady Stan with a brutal finish there! Mr Mean did his best and he took a beating, but Lunch lady Stan was too much!"
Terry: "This was exhausting to watch Johnny, I need a lie down."
Johnny: "You can't Terry, and fans, you can't go anywhere, the Main Event is next! Right after we clean up this mess."
Commercial: Dyno-lax. The world's fastest acting laxative. Caution: Make sure you are already seated on the tiolet before you ingest.
Johnny: "Welcome back to EIWF's Fierce Friday. Let's get to the ring without delay!"
Clive: "This is the Main Event of EIWF's Fierce Friday! This is a Tag Team Match scheduled for one fall and is a quarterfinal match up! Coming to the ring first, standing at 6'1" and weighing in at 203 pounds, the Super Saiya-jin, Goku!"
"We Were Angels" started to play as the fans were on their feet wondering who this freak was. He got some laughs with his hair but seemed happy to be here in EIWF. he slapped hands with a few fans and rolled into the ring. Redneck said that Goku had some experience in No Mercy Wrestling, NMW.
"And his tag team partner. Standing at 5'9" and weighing in at 195 pounds, he is the Saiya-jin prince, Vegeta! Together they are the Super Saiya-jins!"
The Japanese theme changed to "We Gotta Power" which was a more agressive sounding Japanese theme. Vegeta came out, and unlike Goku who was in an orange Gi, Vegeta was in blue tights with Old Undertaker type white gloves and boots. Vegeta had a scowl on his face and looked to be very angry. Redneck said these two were in NMW together and he told Terry Gold that Goku and Vegeta in the ring were based on characters from a japanese cartoon. They used a high flying martial arts
style. Terry said that would be fine in a Cruiserweight division or Japanese fed and good on the set of a movie, but doubted it would work for EIWF.
Clive: "And their opponents." The Theme to the old Batman series begins to play as the fans wonder who it could be. "Introducing first, from 'Gotham City.' He stands at 6'1" and weighs 226 pounds. He is the '66 Batman!"
The fans roar with laughter as the '66 Batman comes out in the classic gray spandex, complete with blue mask, gloves, boots, cape and an ultility belt. Not does the '66 Batman just come out, but he comes out doing the famous "Bat dance." He Bat dances down the aisle and gets into the ring where he Bat dances. Goku joins in, clearly enjoying the fun, but Vegeta looks angrier than before. The Bat music dies down and Clive continues.
"And his tag team partner. He stands at 6'8" and weighs 305 pounds. from Venice Beach, California. He is the second half of the Superheros...accompanied by his manager Brother Luv, he is Hulk 2k5!"
"Eye of the Tiger" starts to play and out comes Hulk 2k5 with Brother Luv. Luv holds a dozen roses and Hulk 2k5 is wearing a Hulk 2k5 shirt. Hulk poses for the fans and pointing at the ring he begins to strut toward it. He gets in the ring and rips off the shirt, throwing it aside. He does the Hogan "right biscep/left arm extend" pose. The Hogan side "biscep/pectoral flex" pose and the Hogan "3 rev double front trap and arm flex" pose. The ring is cleared of all but the wrestlers who are starting off and Senior ref Gerald MacKenzie calls for the bell.
Match Synopsis: The match begins with Hulk 2k5 and Vegeta. Hulk extends a hand but vegeta refused, seemingly pissed off. Hulk goes to grab Vegeta but Vegeta evades and throws some kicks at Hulk's legs. Hulk then answers back with a right hand. he whips Vegeta off the ropes but Vegeta springboards off the ropes, runs full speed and hits Hogan with the Big Bang Attack! Hulk 2k5 goes down hard from the velocity of the strike. Johnny redneck is freaking out and terry Gold is laughing his head off, saying he hopes Vegeta gave Hulk a concussion. Vegeta immediately went up top and launched himself with the Saiyan Splash. He connected perfectly and went for the quick cover. Terry Gold this could be a major shock but Hulk kicked out at 2, looking infuriated. He tried to "Hulk up" but Vegeta clipped him in the knee. Vegeta then went back up top and tried a moonsault but Hulk 2k5 rolled out of the way and crawled to the '66 Batman. Vegeta got up and tagged in Goku.
Goku tried to avoid a tie up, but the '66 Batman managed to back Goku into the corner without rushing in to meet Goku's attacks. The '66 Batman hit Goku with some chops and then got a Belly to Belly Bat Plex that sent Goku out of the corner and into the middle of the ring. The '66 Batman then immediately went down and put on a Head Vice Bat-Lock to ground Goku. The '66 Batman then went for a Short Arm Bat Scissors. he then released the hold and got Goku up to his feet, maintaining an arm and shoulder Bat-bar. Goku started flipping and doing still somersaults, he wriggled free of the Bat-bar and then hit a leg sweep on the '66 Batman. Goku tagged in Vegeta and the duo whipped the '66 Batman off the ropes and then got him with stereo spinning wheel kicks. The '66 Batman went down and Vegeta went to work. He got the '66 Batman with a cartwheel senton splash and as the '66 Batman got up, Vegeta hit him in the face with a running dropkick. Vegeta went for the pin but only got 2. Vegeta then whipped the '66 Batman off the ropes but as he tried a Jumping Spinning Back Kick, the '66 Batman held the ropes. Vegeta came running over, but the '66 Batman caught Vegeta with a Bat-line. They both went down and both needed to make a tag. The '66 Batman reached his corner first, a second before Vegeta reached his. Goku hopped over the ropes as Hulk 2k5 got into the ring, looking confident. Goku tried to knee Hulk 2k5 but the new Hulkster blocked it. He suplexed Goku hard and followed up with an elbow drop. He then Powerslammed Goku hard and mounted and punched. Hulk 2k5 then picked Goku up and dropped his neck across the top rope. Hulk 2k5 then picked Goku up and threw a Big Right Hand, then a second Big Right hand, and then Hulk 2k5 completed the Hogan 3 Punch with the final Big Right Hand. Hulk 2k5 then whipped a groggy Goku and nailed the Big Boot. Hulk 2k5 then cupped his ear to the crowd, got a mediocre reaction, and then came off the ropes and nailed Goku with the Atomic Leg Drop Hulk 2k5 went for the cover and MacKenzie made the 1-2-3 for the winners!
"Your winners! The team of Hulk 2k5 and the '66 Batman, the Superheros!"
"Eye of the Tiger" started to play as Hulk started to flex and pose in the ring and the '66 Batman did his Bat dance. Some fans were cheering and clapping, some others were laughing, some looked bored.
Johnny: "Well, give those kids credit, in the early going, they had Hulk 2k5 down, but the size difference was too much. Two Bruiserweights against a heavyweight and a Super Heavyweight, the factor of power was too overwhelming. There was 133 pounds difference between these two teams. A valiant effort, but Hulk 2k5 and the '66 Batman enjoying their win, they love what they do and they know how to have fun!"
Terry: "Fun is one thing, but Lunch lady Stan and Mr Mean should have been the Main Event. Be that as it may, these two guys will go on to the next round. I wonder who they'll be facing."
Johnny: "Well folks, thanks for tuning in to EIWF's Fierce friday. We'll be back next week, with more fresh faces, more shocking signees and maybe we'll get some answers about Duncan, EJB and the apparent war that is coming with the NB. I'm Johnny Redneck, he's 'The Monarch' Terry Gold, and we wish you a good night!"
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