Kelly Quotes

How dare you hide from me you small [illegitamte son]! (Double Hahaha... in reference to her dvd remote)

** New too** Cats don't make that noise! I've never in my life heard a cat make that noise! Especially when they're running! (Kelly, discrediting the screeching cats in "Big Fish.")

Liz: Ooh, it smells good in here. It smells like marshmallows.

Kelly: (A minute later) Uh, is that marshmallows over an open fire?! (As we discover that the kitchen towel was lit on fire..)

Yea Mom, I was too young to watch that...after I was born...

Dave Foley is a pretty girl.

Kelly: I know you have quotes hiding in your house. You've definitely written down more stupid things I've said. It's just my words hide in your house like stealthy ninjas in a pirate domain.

Jessica: I'll put that up man.

Kelly: Good, yes. I like how I worded that.

Kelly: What is this? It looks like a portal. (Stands in the middle of this metal ring/portal.)

Jess: Maybe it is. Try to transport.

Kelly: I'm hot and its raining.

Jess: It's from the portal. It takes a lot of energy to transport people.

Read the box man! We don't know crap about life! (Kelly, talking about the board game)

Simulate comes from "sim," which means...sim...and late, which means not on time.

BEFORE THE SAT:

Every time I see the word SAT I die a little bit.

What is this actrobal? Some math term I don't know, like parabola?

ETS...Evil Studying Test-takers!

I'm dying. It's such a horrible horrible thing.

I am a master at this. I do it all the time. (I think she was talking about algebra, though I can't really remember at the moment...oops.)

AFTER THE SAT:

The SAT destroyed my brain.

Eww! Why'd you want this! (a math workbook) Math is for losers! (To my little brother, who responded..."Yea, I hate math. Math is poopy!) (Thanks Kel)

Pa la- pa la- pa la-pa lay.... (Kelly trying to pronounce "pallette")

I actually pretended to have an imaginary friend. I think it was a kangaroo. Totally fabricated. I did not have an imaginary friend that was a kangaroo.

I cannot respect you if you are short.

That's a phase. I've never see a Gothic adult. Either they go underground or they grow out of it.

Behold! I am awesome! (She said this after a lucky break on Jezz Ball...but hen proceeded to die miserably. Haha.

You guys are really slacking (on the Pirate vs. Ninja)! C'mon, what's going on in Chemistry? Learning?!! I forbid it!

"I don't believe you, and I don't believe papers either!" (I proved Kelly wrong by showing her a paper and, consequently, won the bet. Go me.)

"I'll have to suffer the repercussions. I don't want any repercussions." (Kelly's reaction to losing the bet)

Hark! What be's there yonder behind thys chimney? A hawk? Dost thy have hawks?

I can't talk...I can't even make fun of myself!

I just want to kick him in the face. He's so ugly. I think that would make it better.

My body produces illegal drugs. (I would just like to mention that I have no idea whatsoever why this quote is pink. My constant efforts, combined with the efforts of Heather, have led us nowhere. So, if you do not like the pink, my apologies. Tough cookies.)

I think killing yourself would really hurt.

I'm not crazy, because I can hear it. (Here are the voices I was talking about...)

Make me a liar, you [darn] hole!

I haven't fallen in a while. I need a good tumble to keep me in check.

Kermit fell out of the sky into a river.

You don't know what it's like being the only Casio in my class!

Somewhere along the way, someone just said, "Hey, let's make it complicated!

God sneezed when he was making the platypus and it all went to [heck]. It was this beautiful little creature and then He sneezed. God has magic breath or something. (A few minutes later, she explains what noses and ears are for and continues to express her confusion about eyebrows, hair and why people pierce their tongues. Then she says....) But at least we're better off than some creatures... like the platypus.

There's always that [dang] wedding video!

Its a fact. Things just look better in black. And that rhymes, my friend. That rhymes.

Ya know, I always think there's something in my hair...(a moment later)...OH MY GOD, THERE IS SOMETHING IN MY HAIR! (Proceeds to frantically flail and jump up and down.)

It's not going to snow, because everybody knows about it.

It was the man with the knife. I think he brought friends. (And here are the little men I mentioned...)