Heather, Heather, Heather.  How can I describe her?  There's just so many words... I don't know where to begin.  Well, I'll let her use her own words, and you can make your own conclusions....

When people talk to me in school, I listen, but that doesn't mean I care.

(Heather and I playing Mario Kart)

Heather:  I knew you'd hit it (the bomb) because of the centripetal force.  

Me:  Haha, you fell off!  That's called "gravity." (She fell off the course.  Yet a moment later...)  Oh crap.  I fell off too.  That's called "irony."

You should have just called out and been a hooligan (to me in chemistry when Dr. Reinhart didn't call me)

I'll be captain of the dumbest people and you'll be captain of the smartest people!  Together we'll rule the school!

I had to be so clumsy and you had to be so courteous! (This was after we both got concussions from each other...we were both reaching to pick up a pencil)

My pants are really low.  I feel like a hoochie mama

You drive your car into a lake, then drive it out again and then light it on fire... I'll help you.. You know any good lakes?  (Collecting insurance...hahahaha)

Oh!  Now everyone's gonna know it was me when we do it! (after I told her I wrote down the previous quote)

C'mon, show me!  I showed you my bird! ...That sounds obscene.  (We're talking about pictures, people.)

I'm the least helpful person when someone is being attacked.

I drink so many sodas...Well, at least it's better than drinking alcohol...unless its alcoholic soda.

"I think there's part of my Christmas tree in my pants..." (Heather, don't you just love me for putting that one up? I know, I can hear your rejoicing music from here...)

"Oh, this is gonna be fun!" (Talking about the Top Secret Project, though this was before she went through plans A, B, C, Z 2.1, etc)

"I don't have a soul, so I don't like poetry."

"You're not a table!  Tell people to stop putting stuff on you!"

"What are you trying to imply?  You think I'm failing English?  I'm lucky if I'm failing English.  They're making up a new grade just for me." (Haha Heather)

"You can't not even no more speak English." (Haha, Heather as a Frenchman fighting with Kelly, the New Yorker.)

"Look, one of our pinkies is both naked!"

"The only point to talking to solve an argument is to decide where to fight."

"When is our history duh?...Type again." (She meant "due" and "typo")

"And the Big FaT Thing (*scary music*) eats them right before my eyes...except I couldn't see them because I was in the stall."

"And if each pig eats 22 pounds of slop..." (This has do with feeding many Germans many sausages from 6.02 x 10 to 23 power pigs...I don't know.)

Okay, but first I should explain this a little...to save Heather some (note use of "some") embarassment...We were playing a game in which each person thinks of a word, beginning with the last letter of the previous given word.  Okay now.... 

"I am so dumb...I keep wanting to write neper and that not a word...that was the first thing that came to my head when I saw the "n."

Yang:  To make the cry of the wild goose....Yang!  Yang!  I'm a goose...Gooses don't say yang.  This is such a joke.  (Don't tell Heather that the plural of goose is geese...Let her keep believing that. Hahaha)

Yin.  The opposite sound of a goose 

Yippy, y'know, like a yippy dog? (Of course.  I always wanted one of them...)

Yetter isn't a word.  I need to think harder.  Yop isn't a word either...yinkle...that was my other guess.  Someone needs to make up more words that start with y.  They're aren't enough.  (Heather and I definitely know all of them of now.  But we might not be able to repeat them because, well, we're yinkles.)

Counselers are the worst kind of people

Then, when you see them in the face...

I had coffee for breakfast, ice tea for lunch, soda for nothing... (Soda for nothing...now that's an interesting meal.)

My heart hurts.  I hurt, seriously.

 Don't you see any movies I see that aren't worth watching?! (Well, maybe not, considering they aren't worth watching....This is what Heather does in her free time.)

I feel like I have socks in my head.   Heavy socks.  Like wool. 

I soar!  And I can pass through solid objects and I have super speed and heat vision...and my weapon is that spike ball, like in the Matrix.  Look, I even drew a picture of it... (These are Heather's super powers.  She quite...amazing, wouldn't you say?)

I drink gallons of seawater by the cup. (She must be mighty thirsty... the dipsomaniac. Hehe.)   

I make the oceans.

Two plus two equals one. (My friends can't add... See also "Nicki.")

I don't curse.  I have to use violence.

Supermodels.  They're like coat racks, because it doesn't matter what they look like, as long as you can hang stuff on them. 

For the last time, "mandle" is not a word!

Who cares about the Mighty Ducks! Nobody watched the Mighty Ducks!

Like totally gag me with a spoon.

I'm like a pool.  I can be really shallow but also deep."