I am appalled by your blatant use of the "F" word on your homepage. As a proud father , I was appaled to see the unbridled immaturity of this page and would like to point out that "Focus" does not own, but Income tax does. I am an IRS agent and that my friend was a real joke. Not like what you may call jokes with your sea monkey silliness or you competitions that exploit theminds of thousands of young children with your x-rated material. Just the other day my daughter Kelly was eating a solid stick of butter after seeing your website, she was convinced that she had geese flocking inside her anus!!! Is this what you call entertainment? To see a sixteen year old eat fat with such vengeance after seeing your filth?!! Are you not human? You are the worst kind of fuggin scum on the face of the penis!!!!! You should be glad to know that I am heading a community task force that will dedicate itself to taking pictures of your bare, naked ass you cock face!!!!!
So there.
Eat shit and die.
Your's truly,
Harry Bangcockola of the
Hating Exploshidad Dirtiness from Controlling Our Kids (H.E.D.C.O.K)
Dear ValueCream Co.,
I am writing to you because your new moisturizing cream entitled "Sunny Day" has burned my genitals quite severly. I expect full compensation or I will be forced to take this complaint to court. My name is Olivia Fartington and I am 43 years old. I am an exotic dancer from a tiny strip club in the heart of Ohio. It is necessary that my genitals not look charred for my job. Please contact me at the address below. Thank you. - Olivia "Nuetron Bomb" Fartington
Dear Olivia, Yes, I would be happy to send you a copy of my new book, "Exploshidad Explores Sexuality" ASAP. Thank you,
- Me
Dear Mr. whatever you call your self,
I am a mother of two young boys who have your website on their favorite places list. I have seen your website mister exlodedad, and your frightful language has given me heat under my fanny. Does your mother know you talk like that? I know if I were your mother I would make you drink cow manuer out of a tall heavy duty glass. Is that what you call funny? I am a republican middle class working mother from Arkansas and I know what is funny. Here's a joke for you, Whats the difference between a moose and a gay man? A moose is a fucking animal and a gay man is a faggit. That's funny, in fact I am laughing quietly in front of my husband who is applying hair cream to his coarse pubic hair. That isnt funny either, I know how you laugh at other peoples misfortunes, I am sure H.E.D.C.O.K. will wipe out you and all the other related websites that are similar to yours. I have restricted my children from looking at your website. Did you know that it hurts when they urinate now? I'm sure this is your fault. I order you to come over here and put a band aid on both their weewees and apologize and take down your awful site.
Allison Nourethra of H.E.D.C.O.K.
(Hating Exploshidad Dirtiness from Controlling Our Kids)
Mrs. Nourethra, you are right. A moose IS a fucking animal.
From the desk of Al " Mr. Exploshidad" Gore - Vice President of the United States of America:
IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT YOU HAVE BEGUN USING MY MOST FAMOUS INVENTION TO BRING YOURSELF GAINS IN POPULARITY AND FAME WITHOUT PROPERLY CREDITNG ME . I , THE VICE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, ORDER YOU TO CEASE AND DESIST IMMEDIATLY FROM USING THE TERM EXPLOSHIDAD IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM . IT WAS I AL GORE THE HUMAN ROBOT THE MAN THE LADIES CALL "OLE STIFFEY" , WHO CREATED EXPLOSHIDAD BACK WHEN I WAS 16 . IT WAS JUST AFTER I HAD CREATED THE INTERNET. ME AND MY PALS WERE HANGING OUT IN MY FRIEND'S BASEMENT SMOKING MY GRANDFATHER'S MEDICIAL MARIJUANA WHEN WE CREATED EXPLOSHIDAD FOR THE FIRST TIME. IT IS CREATED BY MIXING 1 PART MARIJUANA 1 PART LIGHTER FLUID AND 1 PART DRAKE'S DEVIL DOGS . DONT ASK ABOUT WHY DEVIL DOGS. IT JUST WORKS . THEN YOU HEAT IT FOR 10 SECONDS THEN SMOKE . SO UNTIL YOU REACH ME WITH A REQUEST TO USE THE TERM EXPLOSHIDAD IN YOUR WEBSITE I AM ORDERING YOU MATT TO REMOVE IT FROM YOUR WEBSITE WHICH I TECHNICALLY OWN AS WELL SINCE I AM THE FOUNDING FATHER OF THE INTERNET . THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME AND DONT FORGET TO VOTE FOR AL GORE
YOUR NEXT PRESIDENT
AL " THE ONE AND ONLY MR. EXPLOSHIDAD " GORE