When you get pulled over, say What's wrong Ossifer?
There is no blood in my Alcohol!
When you are asked why you were speeding say I just
wanted to race!
When he talks to you, pretend to be deaf!
When he asks you if you know how fast you were
going, say No, my speedometer doesn't go past 10!
Ask him where he bought his cool hat!
Tell him you were speeding because you were out to
buy a cool hat like his!
Ask him out!
When he says no, start crying!
If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harrassment!
Call him Bob all the time, regardless of what his
name is!
When he asks you to step out of the car, throw
yourself on the hood automatically!
Ask to be fingerprinted with candy because it tastes
better than Ink!
After you spend half an hour neatly signing the
ticket, say Oops! Wrong Name! My Bad?
Bribe him with Donuts
When he comes up to the car, say to him Licence and
Registration please officer!?
When he reads you your rights, cover your ears and
sing La La La
Pick your nose the whole time he is talking to you,
and ask him if he wants to taste a bit.
Mumble to yourself the whole time
Get out a dictionary and frantically search every
word he says to you
Say to him Gee! I've got a badge just like yours!
Ask if he watches Cops
Start Talking to an Invisible Person
Start Talking to your hand
Try to sell him your car
Ask if you can buy his car
Stare at his lights and say Ooooh pretty colors!
Pretty Pretty!
Ask if you can borrow his Uniform for your Halloween Costume!