sex

Oral sex doesn't count

If you can't remember the persons name the next day, doesn't count

If you failed to call the person back for more sex, doesn't count

If neither of you achieved orgasm, doesn't count

Sex with a friend doesn't count, its just another thing you share

If the act was so lame, you left thinking "Did I shave my legs for this?", doesn't count

An old flame doesn't count, refer to this as a "Pity Fuck"

Masterbating in front of someone while they do the same, sorry not sex

Cyber sex - NO FUCKING WAY! - its just glorified masterbation

Kissing is not cheating

2 heterosexual women having fun - not sex

An act to make a married man feel good about himself, not sex. BUT! Only if you do not know their significant other

An act committed while intoxicated or high doesn't count

An act committed with a family member of your significant other doesn't count, this is refered to as "A skeleton in the family closet"

An act committed in a public place doesn't count

Phone sex doesn't count, glorified masterbation

In a car doesn't count, too cramped. If the vehicle is in motion and has a console or stickshift, this counts, way to kinky and erotic not to count, unless the act was totally oral, then refer to rule #1

An act committed in which the female of the encounter did not achieve total satisfaction(orgasm) doesn't count

An act committed in which total bodily fluids have not been exchanged (Pull ~N~ Pray method) doesn't count

An act where no kissing takes place doesn't count (not considered to be intimate)

An act in which "You do all the work" doesn't count

An act committed with your next door neighbor doesn't count, this should be refered to as "Being Neighborly"

An act committed with an aquaintance because you are mad at your significant other doesn't count

An act which only happens on a random basis doesn't count, this should be refered to as a "Fuck Buddy"

An act committed in which the other person lives in a different zip code, doesn't count