jokes

Whats red and goes 100mph?
A baby in a blender

Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
So you can watch its expression

Why is it uncomfortable to walk in a field of dead babies?
Because your toes keep getting stuck in their eye sockets

Whats the difference between a truck load of bricks and a truck load of dead babies?
You can unload the babies with a pitchfork

What do you get a dead baby for Christmas?
A dead puppy

How do you make a dead baby float?
1 can of root beer, 2 scoops of dead baby

What goes round and round and paws at the door?
A baby in a microwave

Whats the difference between a picture of Jesus and the real one?
It only takes on nail to hang the picture

Why would Jesus make a lousy lover?
2000 years and he's only come once

Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?
A pizza won't cry when you put it in the oven

How do you fit 500 Jews in a volkswagon?
Put em in the ashtray

A black couple came into a pet store and saw a For Sale sign a bird cage.
They started talking to the little bird. On and on, they kept saying "Polly wanna
cracker? Polly wanna cracker?" The bird ignored them. "Polly wanna cracker?
Polly wanna cracker?" Finally after about ten minutes the bird got pissed and replied
"Hell NO Polly doesn't want a goddamn cracker. You niggers want a watermelon?"

I've got good news and bad news
The bad news?
Martians have landed.
The good news?
They're eating niggers and pissing gasoline

Did you hear about the nigger who was on Who Wants to be a Millionare?
He used all three of his lifelines and missed the $100 question "Who's yo daddy?"

How do you keep niggers out of your tree?
Cut the rope

How do you keep niggers from drowning?
Take your boot of his head

What do you do when your front yard is full of niggers?
Start hangin em in the back

Why shouldn't you hit a Puerto Rican on a bike?
Might be your bike

Why shouldn't you hit a nigger on a bike?
Might be your nigger

Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
They won't work in the future either

Remember that nigger on the Jetsons?
Ain't the future great?

What does a woman do when she gets home from the hospital?
The dishes if she knows whats good for her

Why did the woman cross the road?
To suck my dick

What do you say to a femenist with no arms or legs?
NIce tits, bitch!

What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, she obviously hasn't listened the first 2 times