Don Melvin: Indeed, Perry, my younger brother. The first match of the night will be between the American Champion, Eliminator and the Hardcore Champion and 1/3 Stables Champion, Tank. Bullets by Creed hits the arena as the crowd actually starts to boo. The American Champion Eliminator walks out of the back with the title around his waist, looking toward the crowd oddly. I think he is expecting the fans to cheer for him and not Tank. Anywho, Eliminator walks around the outside of the ring, taking the title off of his waist and laying the title across our announcing table. He jumps up and down a few times, looking like he is ready for a fight. Eliminator gathers a steel chair in his arms for this match, not seeming to notice this is a regular, standard singles match. Now, the lights dim, �My Plague� by Slipknot hits over the airwaves of the arena. The crowd jumps to their seat as the green lights flash around, and Tank�s video starts to play. Tank now charges down the ramp, the hardcore title over one shoulder and the stables title around his waste. Tank loses the stables title mid way down the ramp, then slides into the ring, holding his hardcore title in the air, seeming to say something to Eliminator. Eliminator circles the ring, sliding into the ring, taking Tank by surprise. Perry Melvin: Tank ducks the swing by Eliminator, the crowd is on their feet. Tank throws Eliminator into the ring and takes him to the crowd with a flying elbow to the face. Eliminator is now grabbing his face in pain. Tank, picking him up to his feet, punching him a few times. Tank throws him back into the ropes again, this time giving him a spinebuster to the mat. Tank goes for the cover. 1�2� kickout. Eliminator shows some sign of fight left. Tank kicks Eliminator in the ribs twice before grabbing him by the hair, pulling him to his feet. Eliminator is taking a beating here by Tank. Tank kicks Eliminator in his stomach and takes Eliminator vertical. Tank circles around in the air for a little bit before dropping Eliminator to the mat for a brain buster. Eliminator is now totally out of it, just lying flat, still, out of action on the mat. Tank is too his feet, not needing anything to keep him from moving on in this tournament. Tank climbs to the top ropes, flying high into the air and coming down onto Eliminator with a huge frog splash. Tank hits Eliminator from such a great height, they both fly into the air and Eliminator ends up on top of Tank. 1�2..kickout. Tank throws Eliminator over to the corner. Tank gets up to his feet, now looking very aggravated. It looks like it will be time for the Gunner. Tank picks Eliminator to his feet, throws him into the ropes and drives him down to the mat with the Gunner. Tank hooks the leg. 1�2�3! The crowd is on their feet going insane as �My Plague� by Slipknot hits once again and Tank gather his two belts on his way out of the ring. Howard Tinkle: The winner who will advance in the Mr. EWW Tournament is the �Legend� of EWW, Tank! Don Melvin: And Tank walks into the match pumped up and leaves pumped up, looking ready as anything to win this tournament. Once a great, always a great as I have always said. Perry Melvin: Right, Donald, right. I have never actually heard you say that. Don Melvin: You heard me say it at the family reunion in October. When I gave that Speech. Perry Melvin: Oh, yeah, I remember. That�s when our brother there threatened to take away your job. That was hilarious. Anyway, I am getting word that Tank is backstage with Nick Bradshaw ready to cut a promo. Let�s go to the back to see what Tank has to say about the match. Nick Bradshaw: Tank, congratulations on a job well done, That was a terrific win against Eliminator. Now, Tank, how do you plan to make it to the Mr. EWW finals? Tank: (Gaps for some air) Let me ask you something, Nick. May I? Nick Bradshaw: Sure, go ahead. Tank: I have noticed that Ice Cold Bob Taffin, the cheap rip-off of a wrestler has been kicking your arse almost every interview since you came on the job here in Elite World Wrestling. Other than Queenie, you�re my favourite interviewer. When are you gonna� stand up to the son of a bitch? Nick Bradshaw: Well� I�ll tell you in a moment. My job is to ask you some questions. Now, if you may� Tank: Chip N Dale, don�t tell me what to do. I will tell you the way that I plan on making it to the finals of this little shit basket of a tournament here is to do what I did tonight and that is totally dominate my opponents. They always say to themselves before they enter the ring �Don�t be intimidated�, but, they cannot resist. Tank is just too fearful of a wrestler here in this company and he has a reputation for showing no mercy, which he performs very well. Now, Nick, I must be� Perry Melvin: Oh my god, looky there, Dake Ken, out of all people in this world is attacking Tank. The man who gave up on his chances for the Stables titles is there. Dake rams the Budweiser beer bottle over the head of Tank, the glass shattering. Dake throws Tank into the wall, stomping a mud hole in him and unfortunately, we need to cut to a break. We will come back to see this vicious attack come to an end. -Commercial Break- Don Melvin: We are back and Dake Ken had a weak Tank with him. Dake Ken rolls Tank into the trunk of his limo, slamming the trunk door down. Dake Ken runs over to the driver�s side, gets in and the limousine takes off. What an odd thing to happen. Perry Melvin: Yes, indeed it is. But, now we have to go to our second match of the night. �Cowboy� by Kid Rock is now on as The Elite Champion, CBA makes his way to the ring. The crowd boos very loudly, tossing their trash at him. CBA has gotten a little cock lately. CBA, with the title around his shoulder, casually walks down the ramp. CBA takes his sweet times, walking up the stairs and getting into the ring, just aimlessly tossing the title into the arms of Howard Tinkle, the ring announcer as he announces his name. Howard Tinkle: Now, making his way to the ring. The Continental Champion and 1/3 Stables Champions with the G.O.D., he is L.A. Snow! Perry Melvin: The crowd goes wild. �Get Out of My Way� hits the P.A. System as the pryos shoot off and a huge party starts here in Oklahoma L.A. Snow walks out from the back with no championship belt with him. L.A. walks around the ring, looking up to the rafters, looking in the crowd, looking for something suspicious, most likely mob members. Well, security, heavy security, would have picked them up. There is no red dot on L.A., so, he is fine. Robert Johnson starts the bell. CBA just leans back, his arms folded and looks ready for the match, not very eager for it to starts. L.A. Snow hops up onto the apron, walks back and forth on it, waiting for CBA to make the first move. And he does, running at full speed toward L.A. immediately. L.A. then drops down, pulling the top rope down with him. CBA goes flying over the top rope and hits the floor, his hands breaking his fall. CBA rolls around in pain. Could his hand be broken? Or sprained? I don�t know, but that was an awesome move by L.A. Snow. Don Melvin: It wasn�t all that too spectacular. L.A. is now looking down at CBA, in pain, clutching his wrist. It looks like L.A. Snow knows he could take advantage of this now, Robert Johnson too busy drinking his tea in the ring and all. L.A. Snow grabs the forearm of CBA, struggling, but pulling him up to his feet. L.A. then spits in his face and starts going wild on the man, knife-edge chop after knife-edge chop, right hand after right hand. The crowd is going wild. I personally think Robert Johnson really should be counting the two men out. L.A. Snow lifts CBA up and gives him the inverted atomic drop, then driving him down to the ground with a huge clothesline from hell. L.A. Snow, unfortunately, is fierce in this match. Let�s just hope a chance in momentum comes to us soon. Perry Melvin: It doesn�t appear so. L.A. drops an elbow onto the chest of CBA. CBA looks like he is in a lot of pain, hoisting himself to his feet now, having to use the guard rail. L.A. Snow taunts to the crowd, turns around and is hit by a drop kick by CBA. L.A. Snow is back to his feet now, Canadian Bad Ass has his energy back and strikes L.A. Snow with a Canadian Uppercut. CBA rolls L.A. Snow back into the ring, rolling him. CBA headbutts L.A. Snow, then throws him into the corner. CBA then strikes L.A. Snow�s weak spot with a bronco buster. The crowd starts throwing their empty cuts, hot dog foil and popcorn bags, booing their eyeballs out. CBA finishes and L.A. Snow just sits there, shocked and drastically hurts. This is a bad thing. Don Melvin: What the hell are you talking about? This kicks ass. CBA kicks L.A. Snow in the chest and then turns around. But, CBA is hit in the head with a hurled, full can of beer from the front row. It hits CBA scared in the nose, forcing it to bleed and ultimately knock out Canadian Bad Ass. Oh my god, he is out. This is a f-ing travesty. Perry Melvin: And there is L.A. Snow there, ready to get the pinfall. L.A. lays his arm over CBA. 1�2�3! L.A. Snow picks up the win and the advancement. Howard Tinkle: The winner of this match is the Continental and Stables Champion, L.A. Snow! Perry Melvin: That was one hell of a good match. Who would�ve thunk CBA would be knocked out with a new can of beer. And it�s Miller Lite, too. Anyway, there�s two matches down there and we have plenty of time left in this broadcast. We haven�t any new feed from Tank being kidnapped by Dake Ken, but, it looks kind of hopeless there for Tank now. Our brother is probably there, sweating in his clothes, bleeding from his chapped lips and crying for his mama� well, maybe not crying for his mama. But, we can only pray for his safety. Don Melvin: And while he do that, let�s cut to a commercial. -Commercial Break- Don Melvin: We�re back and we visit the two biggest pansies in the business on the M-Tron chat in their locker rooms. Reverend Snow and L.A. Snow. Rev. Snow: Good win brother, you deserve it. You should have had the win over him in the first three minutes! L.A. Snow: Thanks, brother, but that was some luck that the beer can came flying over. So, did you take care of what I told you to, yet? Rev. Snow: Not yet. L.A. Snow: Why not? Rev. Snow: The right time hasn�t come, if you know what I mean. I have everything ready just in case we need to go to that deep of measures there. So, I am all set up and we can only pray to the grace of our father, the lord and his son, Jesus Christ will watch over us and we can only pray that those measures will not be needed to make the lives of the future better than what our fates turned out to be like for these days. L.A. Snow: Preach it, brother, preach it. Brother, you�d better get out there and ready to taken on your young chum, Cosmos. Good luck, brother, break a leg. (Camera fades back into Don and Perry Melvin, both looking as perplexed as the quiet fans) Perry Melvin: What was that about? Rev. Snow seemed to be giving a little bit of a soliloquy, like one he would give to his congregation at church or something like that. What could that thing L.A. asked Rev. to take of be? Don Melvin: I don�t know. But the jackasses forgot to say a little prayer for our brother, Tank. Perry Melvin: Oh, get over it. Dake won�t kill him or something like that. He always seems to find a way to get out of these kinds of things. But, there�s one thing we cannot get out of now and that is a match to move on in our tournament. The Rev.�s music hits and he is on his way down to the ring with his custom made Rev. shirt on. He looks a bit concerned, though, I wonder what about. How come they do not address the company about these things? Though, I am sure Tank knows. But, let�s watch. Rev. Snow is now in the ring, checking out the ropes. And Cosmos� music is now playing, his pyros shooting off, the crowd, neutral for this match, looking for a good competition, a friendly match. Don Melvin: Eh� I think it will be a snooze-fest if you ask me. The bell rings and both men square off, not seeming to go for the immediate offensive here. Both men then lock up, their hands on their shoulder. Cosmos then starts to grab the shoulder muscles of the Rev., making him pull his arms off. Cosmos knees Rev. and tosses him into the ropes. Rev. jogs over to the ropes, bounces back into a belly-to-belly suplex. Cosmos goes for a cover and only gets a 1 count. The sucker rookie doesn�t know it�s too early, does he? Both of them are now to their feet. It looks like they both are evenly matched here in this match here. Rev. goes on the offensive, sending his hip into the mid-section of Cosmos and going for a double-arm ddt. Cosmos stops it and gets Rev. Snow back with a northern lights suplex. Cosmos sticks it there for the pin. 1�2�3! Oh my god, that was quick. Cosmos got the win on that move. Cosmos gets up his feet and immediately up jumps the Reverend. They shake hands as Cosmos� music plays. Is it possible the Rev. could have thrown the match? Perry Melvin: It could be so he wouldn�t have to face his brother, L.A. again. I don�t know. All I know is that we need to cut to a commercial break. -Commercial Break- (Footage of Dake Ken walking into the entrance of the arena is seen on the M-Tron as we come back from a commercial break) Don Melvin: It looks as if Dake Ken wasn�t the driver of that limousine after all. We saw him get into the limo, but maybe the loser realized that he had a match and got out, having another man do the dirty work for him. Perry: Well next up is another match in our Mr. EWW tournament. Don: Once again we remind you that the winner of this tournament gets crowned as the first ever Mr. EWW and will recieve a title shot in June. Orion hits, and Dake Ken makes his way to the ring. Perry: He is one of the greatest American Champions of all time, and would definately like to step it up a notch and win the big one. Austins theme hits, and Ice Cold Bob Taffin walks to the ring. Don: Yes, and this man is a former Elite Champion, and has been shot out of the spotlight over the past couple of months. Winning this tournament is something that would really get his fine career back on track. The bell sounds and the two lock up in the center of the ring. Dake Ken comes out with a hammerlock on Ice Cold. But he almost immediately kicks out of it by delivering the boot to Dake Kens gut. Dake Ken falls to the mat, and Ice Cold continues kicking him on the back. He then picks him up and whips him into the ropes, Dake Ken comes back, and ducks the closeline. But, as he rebounds against the opposite ropes, Ice Cold successfully pulls off a hip toss, into a armbar. Dake Ken gets up and starts elbowing Ice Cold in the chest, until he breaks the hold. Dake Ken then runs against the ropes and delivers a swinging neckbreaker to Ice Cold, who is crouched over holding his chest. Dake Ken gets up and starts giving elbow drops to the neck of Ice Cold, until Ice Cold rolls out of the ring. He looks to be heading towards the crowd. Perry: Where the hell is he going? Dake Ken gets out of the ring and grabs Ice Cold, then walks him over to the steel steps and starts banging his head on them. After 5 times, Dake Ken turns around and taunts the crowd. When he turns back to Ice Cold, he recieves a quick jab to the side of the head. Ice Cold then grabs Dake Ken's head and walks over towards the announcers table, and starts banging his head there. Don: Woah look out!! They are right here in front of us!! Ice Cold lets go, and Dake Ken wobbles away. Ice Cold then rips off the top of the table and grabs a television moniter, runs, and smashes it onto Dake Kens head. The referee then wars Ice Cold that he is about to be disqualified, so Ice Cold gets back in the ring. Dake Ken eventually follows. Ice Cold starts punching him in the face, then whips him against the turnbuckle. As Dake Ken is leaning against the turnbucks, Ice Cold climbs up and starts punching him in the head. The crowd counts 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...10! After Ice Cold hits the tenth punch, he stands there and lifts his arms in the air. But Dake Ken grabs his waist and gives him a powerbomb, into a pin. 1...2...kickout. Perry: Close one there! Don: Yeah, Ice Cold should be more careful in a match of such importance! After the kickout, Dake Ken lays on the mat for a while, until they both get up at the same time. Ice Cold gets up and gives Dake Ken a death valley driver, and goes for the pin. 1...2...kickout. They both lay in the ring again. This time, when they get up, Dake Ken takes advantage, giving Ice Cold a belly to belly suplex. Dake Ken then picks up Ice Cold and looks to be setting him up for his finisher, but Ice Cold pushes him into the ropes. Dake Ken comes back and is met with a boot to the gut, then a Ice Cold stunner. Taffin goes for the count. 1...2...but Dake Ken gets his foot on the ropes. Perry: Wow! That was so close! Ice Cold gets up and starts arguing that the ref was favouring Dake Ken and put his leg on the ropes. But then Dake Ken gets up from behind and gives him a pumphandle slam. Dake Ken goes for the pin, 1...2...kickout. Now, Dake Ken is arguing that it was a slow count. Ice Cold gets up but Dake Ken sees him, and goes for a suplex. But Ice Cold lands on his feet behind him, and gives him a few german suplexes. But on his last german suplex, Dake Ken kicks behind and hits Ice Cold between the legs. Dake Ken then turns around and gives Ice Cold a snapmare, into a sleeper hold. But the crowd starts chanting for Ice Cold, and he makes hit to his feet, and reverses the sleeper hold into another stunner, this time in the middle of the ring. He goes for this pin. 1...2...3. Don: It's over! Ice Cold has just beaten Dake Ken and has advanced in the tournament! Perry: He is not one step closer to regaining the Elite title, whoch he hasn' t held in months! Howard Tinkle: The winner, Ice Cold Bob Taffin.
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