This is the story of one brave ewok and his journey from cubling to manling. This ewok's name was Trioonity, and he belonged to the ewok equivalent of the rugby club. His days, and those of his friends, were spent drinking and causing damage to public property. This all changed when they were drafted into the EDF [Endor Defence Force]. They made them sit up and sniff the butts of their forefathers. Their first action was to go and raid the litter production facility on the other side of the planet, which was run by their evil genetically similar cousins, the Kowe. This was a enormous feat, but they destroyed it, albeit at the cost of many of their friends, who died in the raid.
The EDF High Command now had great confidence in them, and sent them on many other missions, and their number dwindled as they continued to fight those infidels, the Kowe. After one butt sniffing cycle [about a week] Trioonity was the only survivor of his yub-ttalion. This did not faze Trioonity, and he continued to kill many Kowe residents on Endor in a day, rasing the kill tally [as he was not that good a shot, but he could run very fast] but he was still held in high regard of the EDF High Command.
The day finally came when Trioonity could finally retire, which he did with much joy.
This was not the end of Trioonity's story, as he died a butt sniffing cycle latter, after a rather drunk Raspberry Bottom, came and shot him up the butt.
As a great military hero, he was given a huge funeral, and his eulogy was given by a very respectable Raspberry bottom, Luke SykWalker or something.
"Yub yub yub yub yub yub yub yub yub yub yub yub yub yub yub yub," is what he said, roughly translated to basic that means: "Ha ha, that silly little care bear on acid is dead, I'm glad I had him shot now. Now, where is my ewok skin coat?"
The moral of this story is: bite all raspberrie's bottoms.
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