Entry for November 7, 2007
I am upset today, well, I was earlier, I am still a little now. The assessment that I have been waiting for for so long, I went and got it today. The lady I talked to was very helpful, and her part of the assessment was stellar. The fuckin psychiatrist submarined me. His psychological assessment makes me come off as a fuckin mental defective, and I was having a god damned manic episode durring the interview, which I certainly wasn't. It even states the "... is not currently taking medication to stabalize his bipolar disorder. Until he can demonstrate compliance, the possibility of his bipolar cycling to a manic phase resulting in impulsive behavior (including drinking and driving) is a distinct possibility." The mother fucker says if I don't take meds, dont give me a drivers license. I am getting even madder just going over it again. Fuck that mother fuckin quack piece of shit. So my DL assessment already condems me, unless I take drugs. In the interview the shrink said that he'd recomend continued care, psychiatric counceling. I was fine with that. More thearapy, no biggy. But to say I HAVE TO take meds or I WILL drink and drive, fuck him! I can't say if I'll never drink again, but he most assuredly can not make that statement. UGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!! I so want to find the son of a bitch, but I won't, I just need to blow off steam. I already called, and had lunch with a fellow cult member. I will call my sponsor soon. I will go to a meeting for sure tonight. I will most assuredly NOT go into any "questionable" places tonight. No party store to get a candybar, nor a bar for dinner. I am going to call Kathy, the lady who did the original interview, talk with her. Maybetry and find a different shrink to talk to, one who isn't so quick to prescribe drugs. I WILL NOT TAKE DRUGS.
