Entry for March 28, 2008
Took my test to get into the Sheldon road plant. I should be in a good mood, I think I did well on the test. I am oddly depressed. I have a job roght now. I have an opportunity to get a better one. I am not dealing with the ups and downs of the hangover rollercoaster ride, and yet.... I feel like shit. I got sick at work on Wednesday, and just called into work on Thursday cuz I didn't feel like going in, and I knew they knew I was sick. I called to let them know I was comming in today allready, but I was contimplating calling off again before I called them to let them know I'd be in. I don't know why I am feeling down. Granted my job sucks. I should be greatful to even be employed, but I feel like a shmuck working a shitass job. I should be elated to take the test to get a decent job, but I feel I won't get it because there were 300 people in my group, and another 300 in the group right after mine. Wah wah wah!!! Even as I type this whiney crap I know I can just change it, by changing my attitude. Start being greatful, humble and shut up the voices that say "I am better than this job" and "You'll never get hired". It's not even pesamistic "self-talk" that's bothering me as much as just an underlining sense of doom, ill-feeling, almost as if bad things were pending. I have thought about drinking quite a bit this week. Even though I reject the idea quickly, it still bothers me how often it has popped up. Awe, fuckit, I am going to call a cult member or two, and go into work at 5pm and just try and repeat "This too shall pass"
