I did some reading today, The Family Afterward.  Hit the St John Neuman meeting.  Talked to my sponsor, things are going good with him.  Did a mile and a third on the treadmill.  I need to get back into shape. 

Yesterday at a meeting someone shared how good they felt after a meeting they were at the week before.  I was at the same table as them, and I had left the meeting wondering if I had done a good enough job.  It was the first time someone had shown up to a meeting, and I led the table.  I tried to remember all the things that helped me when I first came into the cult.  I wasn't sure how I did, and was suffering from a little self doubt.  Funny how another person could leave the same meeting feeling very good, after concentrating on just helping another alcoholic.  I was also approached by a different member on another day, who said he felt that meeting went very well.  He even complimented me on how I handled the whole affair.  I saw that person, whom it was their first meeting last week, at the meeting tonight.  THAT made me feel very good inside.  The praise from another person perhaps was a ego feeding proposition, and the good feeling another had because they finaly got outside of themselves for a change is good, but it was not my feeling.  I was wrapped up in doubt.  But seeing the person whom we all were trying to help actualy at another meeting, was moving to me.