19/08/02

I know..I know....you all really thought that I was gonna return to the ring. DUH!!!...I'm not stupid you know. Besides being an exhibionist, shit I don't even know how to write that. Doesn't matter, besides being "that" I am also a realist. I know that I can't beat the likes off Chris Christ, Strait Hate, Thorn, Jerry Campbell, Nick Dangerous, MacBeth, Johnathan Cable, Jay Masters......etc........Pffftfft, who am I kidding, ofcourse I can beat them, I'm just not in the right condition to step back in that ring. I'm just not in the right shape yet, need a couple more inches, but enough of that for now. Why I am taking up your precious internet time then you ask? The answer is simple, I got myself an own column. Nooo, nooo Ray Ramone don't worry I'm not gonna take your fans away. I couldn't live with myself if I took both of your fans. The reason I am even taking time to write this down is because I'm hired to do so. Yes I am hired to write a column now and then. Instead writing about the current stuff I decided to write about the past. I decided to write about what happend in the EWCL one year ago. Here we go with the first episode of "Flash's Corner: One year ago....

One year ago the weekly show was still called Venom. Still traditional like it should be, nothing like Insurgence. Venom took place in the Arco Dome in Sacramento and like often in that time and currently, the arena was sold out. Why? Beats me, The Flashmaster didn't compete....What was the show like? It was pretty solid. Here we go with a summary.

Opening

The show opened with The Rage Rick O'Connor, the new Universal Champion, who walked out to his theme music. O'Connor had just won the Universal Title Tournament during Survivor by beating "Miraculous" Danny Christ in the final. So Rick came out and who also made his appearance? You don't know? It was The Hardcore Saint Dan Prohibition himself. Dan and Rick were in a tagteam together and even won tagteamgold, but what happend? I tell ya what happend. Dan and Rick couldn't really get along thats what happend. But still they hung on to the gold. So Dan comes out and what does he do...He challenges The Rage, the newly Universal Champion and his tagpartner for a titlematch. And hey, O'Connor is a champ, so he accepts and the match is set as the main event.

Shane Johnson vs. Fazzer

It was one year ago that Fazzer turned out to be the madman who was sending wrestlers on the roster notes. Notes that constantly were ended with the words "Bloody Maggot". At Venom it was Shane Johnson who had to face The Maggot Madman Fazzer in a singles match. After Fazzer used his trademark razorbat on Shane it was Exile who came out to the rescue. However this interference cost The Loose Cannon the match and Fazzer walked out as the "Bloody" winner of that match.

Just imagine having this match as an opening match, man that rocks off every show doesn't it. Both Fazzer and Shane Johnson were former titleholders. Now wow that really beats having Jay Masters and James Demise as the curtain jerkers, don't it.

Segment Paco

After the match Paco came out and he tells everyone that he has his own section in the show called "Paco's Amazing Matchup". Obviously this can't be any good and yup the forecasts were right. We get this match between Pamela Charles who was still Prez Cazzo's fiancee at that moment, and Pamela calls out a challenge. Who comes out? ...Roadblock wearing a wig and carrying a handbag. Like that wasn't enough humiliation for Roadblock, he even loses to Pamela.

Kritical Kondition Sean Corvik vs. Jawz

Next match on the card was a non title match between Internet Champion Sean Corvik and Jawz. Corvik came walking to the ring without an actual titlebelt because the new stable Creeping Death had stolen the Internet, Hardcore and Prime Time titlebelts at Survivor. That didn't seem to care Kritical Kondition at all. Just when Corvik had locked on the Darkest Hour on Jawz it were former Royal Family member Tony DeLucci and his tagpartner Lazarus who came out. They attacked Corvik, but then The Royal Family was reformed again as The Hardcore Event Joe Johnson came out of nowhere. Johnson had been gone for several weeks and he returned and he helped Corvik get rid off DeLucci and Lazarus. Like that wasn't enough we saw The General come out and he took care off Jawz by executing a chokeslam off the toprope. The General then talked some thrash to Exile and disappeared. Corvik got the 3 count after and went off with the win.

Neil Downs investigation for the titlebelts

Neil Down even got up from his lazy ass and he went out on an investigation. His mission to find out what Creeping Death did to the titlebelts that they stole. But what can you expect from Neil Down? Not much except something that involves a Christ, right...Yes right. Instead of trying to find out what happend to the belts, Neil Down stopped at Danny Christ his lockerroom and went in to ask his idol some questions. End of investigation, nice comic relief.

Danny Christ vs. Exile

Miraculous Danny Christ and Exile batlled it out in a real good match. Both wrestlers know what they have to do to get the reaction from the crowd and thats exactly what they did. The crowd was really into this one. The end however was a bit disappointing as it resulted in a no contest. Exile had set up a table and he went to frogsplash Christ, but Christ lifted his knees up and both went through the table. All of this resulted in a double countout. Hey hello!!! You never fell off a balcony!?!?!? No contest my ass!!

The Rage vs. Dan Prohibition

Finally our main event of the evening. As I said before, the lovable The Hardcore Saint challenged the Universal Champion The Rage Rick O'Connor. Remember both players were faces at that time so the crowd had a hard time deciding who to cheer on. After a match that could have gone either way it was The Rage who executed his finisher The Revelation on Prohibtion. Before the referee could call the three count, it was Prez Cazzo who ran out and he stopped the count. He then nailed The Rage with a bat and pulled Prohibition on top off him. The ref started to count, but Prohibition rolled off of The Rage and stopped the count himself. Dan is mad as hell and he chases Cazzo. After Cazzo climbed out of the ring, Dan turns around and GADDAMMMN The Rage hits another Revelation and its all over for the Hardcore Saint. A one two three and O'Connor is still the Universal Champion.

We only had four matches. Can you picture that? Only four matches on the card. Things have really changed didn't they. So anyway, this was my first review of what happend one year ago. Hope you enjoy it and if not, well who the hell cares. Maybe till next week, but then again maybe not.

Signed by....Chris "The Flashmaster" Bowen.