Mike Summers
28/11/01
Welcome to one man's supremely important opinion of the week in wrestling. I'm Mike Summers, you're not, and I pity you. And, with the obligatory self-praise out of the way, lets get on with the week as I saw it.
Can you imagine the writers' meeting after last week's show? I can� allow me to share my vision with you�.
Writer 1: Well guys, congratulations on putting on a fantastic show!
Writer 2: Yes, a good job by all! We really showed the Mike Summers character� why, we put on the best show of the year, and even he couldn't find much wrong with it!
Writer 3 (a Mike Summers undercover operative posing as a former Soap Opera writer): You know, that Mike Summers guy is really an excellent journalist though. He always seems to get right to the heart of the matter, and is never afraid of upsetting anybody. I think he's really brave! A true hero in these troubling times�.
Writer 2: Shut up Pete! Everybody knows you're a stooge for that know-it-all schmuck!
(Writer 3, his cover blown, lobs a gas grenade and flees the room in the confusion with a deft shot of his Maghook through the skylight. He stealthily ascends through the rafters and is gone forever. As the smoke settles, the meeting continues.)
Writer 4: *cough* You know, this week I was thinking maybe, instead of having any ideas� you know, seeing as we worked so hard last week� we could have no ideas. You know, take the week off and let the wrestlers decide the show?
Writer 1: That's brilliant Paul! I'm sure they'll all remain professional and stick to their storylines, and won't in fact do as any humanoid with two halves of a brain might think they'd do and challenge anyone with a belt.
Writer 2: Hah! This show will be even greater than last week's! We'll show that Mike Summers!
Writer 4: C'mon, lets go grab a milkshake and discuss the fundamentals underlying the cult phenomenon that was American Gothic!
Writer 1: Ah� but aren't we supposed to go and see a House Show today? You know, keep up with the storylines�?
Writers 1, 2 and 4 stare at each other for moments before breaking into raucous laughter. Slapping each other on the backs, they exit the room.
Cazzo's Opening Tirade �
Had that intense feeling of a shoot promo, yet considering Cazzo runs the place and must have been a party to the decision to allow the inmates to run the asylum, was no doubt a well delivered work (or one of those fancy new "worked shoots"!). Either way, you couldn't help but sit there and shout "Yeah!" after every complaint. A great way to start the show�.
Spare a Quarter? �
Having Exile and Roadblock go out and beg for money was a stroke of genius, and one thing the writers actually did right this week. The mere ludicrousness of attempting to have Exile and Roadblock try and gather $20 million on the streets made the whole segment a winner. But hey, maybe next time they could be collecting for a charity�? Save the EWCL? Buy the EWCL some new writers? Buy Roadblock a clue? Venom started with a real bang with these two segments, and for a while you wondered if things weren't going to be too bad�.
Mystic �
Can anybody deny this guy is on a roll? Okay, so defeating the newcomer Xtreme hardly warrants an invitation into the Mike Summers "Next Big Thing" club, but Mystic has certainly made his mark on EWCL television as of late. He's been paired with Joe Johnson, matched up with Dan Prohibition, defeated Sean Corvik�. Mystic is headed for big things so long as he can continue to deliver the goods. Such a shame the story between he and Corvik was dropped this week so that Corvik could chase the Universal Title. At the very least it should have been Mystic interfering in the Main Event, and not Blade. Still, there's always this weekend providing it's business as usual for the EWCL�.
Armageddon Comes but Once a Year �
Don't let that get out! Nah, just teasing. Cerberus is a guy I've overlooked almost entirely since starting this column, but it seems the "Armageddon" is out to make people take notice! Punisher, Warlock, Ex-Terminator, Brody James, Steel Brasco� to name a few! Cerberus has had a string of victories in the last few weeks, and is carrying his title with the prestige that came with Dan Prohibition's reign. It's nice to see the undercard shining, and adding a lustre to the Main Event guys each and every week. Keep on trucking, Cerb!
Tables Match �
You're wise to set your VCR for any match Dan Prohibition is going to take part in. So many of them have become classics. Well, chalk up another one. Okay, so Dan didn't come out on top, but Dan and Blade had a blinder, marking this one as the match of the evening. The match could have done without the interference, but both men looked strong throughout, and it was an edge-of-your seat match that had you throwing objects at the television when it was done. Again I say, shame about the interference�.
Free for All Booking �
What a shocking decision�. While the idea of an unknown card may have been noble, it seems clear that very few people were content to gut out their feuds when the possibility of a title match came their way. Sure, some of the guys paid lip service to their former opponents, but in reality this week felt like it was all about the money. Who can I challenge to elevate myself? With the EWCL in further financial straits, the wrestlers need to band together and make each match a must-see� each feud a must pay-to-see! It doesn't matter if you're fighting for a belt� there are more important things� honour, pride� money? Somebody needs to lock down some feuds for Christmas in Hell fast, or the buy rate might be as low as High Stakes�.
The No Contest we Didn't Have to See �
Sean Corvik vs. Exile� a match we could have done without. Not only did it come out of the blue, but this could be a big money match, if built properly. Sure, Corvik reminded us he had unfinished business with Exile, but the rekindling of that idea came out of nowhere at a completely inappropriate time! This match should have been built up as a Pay-Per-View Main Event, not a Venom Main Event! Not only that, but it did little for either man! Exile didn't get the rub from Corvik, 'cos the match went to a no-contest, and Corvik was never in the running to win the title anyway as a Universal Title win, out of the storylines, would have weakened not only Exile, but the Universal Title as well� something Cazzo can't allow to happen after the whole Punisher debacle. This match was a mistake, and may have blown what could have been a Pay-Per-View must-see. It's decisions like this that are crippling the EWCL.
Saphio's Heel Turn �
I hesitate to put this in here, as I may be jumping the gun. However, the turn took place early enough in the show to allow time for an explanation� which never came (I don't think petulance is an adequate excuse). That said, the explanation may simply be awaiting next week's Venom, or this week's promos. If so, if adequate, this could be one of the biggest turns since The Rage (which was a little too sudden for my tastes anyway). So, this could be in the "Hits" list next week� it just depends on the handling. As I said� I'm not sure this belongs in the "Misses", but it wasn't the big event it should have been.
Venom slipped back to 3.8 this week after a surge last week suggested a comeback in the ratings. The changes in the program really hurt Venom, frustrating regular viewers as several of their stories were sidetracked. Viewers were treated to the President criticising his own company, which also probably turned a lot of people off (Hell, if the President doesn't think much of the product�!). All in all, the downward trend continues for the EWCL, and if not arrested soon the EWCL will be in greater financial trouble than they are at the moment.
A shame for a company which can boast to be, at its best, the greatest Federation in North America.
That's it for now. Thanks for your indulgence. Keep sending in your complaints�
I'll keep ignoring them.