19/07/01
Hello and welcome to the first instalment of the DD report! My name is David Davies and I�m going to use this opportunity to rant about my views of the wrestlers of EWCL. So, let�s great straight to business.
First off, The Rage. This guy is an absolute star. In my opinion he is without a doubt the biggest talent the EWCL has to offer. The only wrestlers that come close are Glory, Christ and Kritical Kondition. The only advice I�d give to the Rage is dump Dan Prohibition because he�s bringing you down. You should be the Universal Champion of the��.Universe. I�d love to see you feud with Danny Christ though, I�m sure he�d give you a run for your money and maybe you two could surpass the previous feud of KK and Glory. On the subject of KK and Glory, does anyone else agree with Danny Christ that they�re getting boring? I sure do. They really need to think up some more imaginative promos to stop the fans from switching over.
Did I forget to tell you guys I�m psychic? Well, Last night I had a premonition that Sparhawk and Dan Prohibtion will team up in the near future, take it as a rumour if you will, but I�m never wrong.
::::Evil Laugh::::
That old stalwart Sparhawk and the born again Christian Dan P. would make a great team, They just don�t know it yet.
I also predict that Freak Destroyer Cerberus will change his wrestling name in the next few days. Fans have been complaining that his name won�t fit on any T-shirts and subsequently the revenue made from his merchandise has dropped significantly.
My wrestler of the week award goes to Kritical Kondition. He made a shocking return to the delight of the wrestling world and even though the media has been giving him some bad reviews I still think he ranks in the top 5 wrestlers in the world today.
My loser of the week goes to Sparhawk. I can�t stand anyone who gets something for nothing and last week on Venom, he proceeded to the next round of the tournament without lifting a finger. There is no doubt in my mind that James Demise would have pulled off the win if it weren�t for Danny Christ attacking him backstage. Incidentally, why did Danny Christ attack him anyway? In my view the two wrestlers, Danny Christ and Sparhawk are setting themselves up for a showdown in the next round. Am I right? Of course.
Alexander Glory has also been receiving some bad press of late. Apparently parents have been complaining that he smokes too much. The amount of children aged between 12 and 17 who smoke has increased by a staggering 32.7% and Glory�s getting the blame. Doctors say that if he continues to smoke the way he does, he�ll be dead by the age of 35. You can sign a petition to get him thrown off television by heading over to: http://www.petitiononline.com/ewcl/petition.html
Righteo, it�s now time for my weekly predicitions!
Dan P. Vs Sparhawk/Freak Destroyer Cerberus
Hmmm, Like I said before, something big could happen here. I think Dan Prohibition will win because Sparhawk�s gonna turn on his partner.
Punisher VS Sgt. Death
Punisher hasn�t been around of late which tells me he�s spending all of his time drinking and eyeing up girls in strip clubs. Sgt. Death will win because�because�I SAID SO!
Shane Johnson VS Ex-Terminator
Shane just isn�t as good as he used to be. The only way I can see him winning here is if by some miracle his brother returns and shocks the world by helping his brother. Ex-Terminator is too strong for Shane to win single-handedly.
Kritical Kondition VS Tony Delucci
Tony is another one of those wrestlers whose got worse as time has gone on. Kritical Kondition with the easy win here.
Jawz VS Exile
Exile is far too strong for the inexperienced Jawz, I predict a win for the former commissioner.
??? Vs Jawz/Exile
Well with Exile surely picking up a victory over his friend Jawz. It�s gonna be him VS the mystery guy. Did I mention I�m psychic? I did? Okay good, �cause I�ve got a feeling I know who the mystery guy is. You wanna know? You do? Okay, it�s........THE RAGE!
Right I�m out, I hope you enjoyed reading the first installment, if you didn�t, GET OVER IT!
DD