Mike Summers
19/11/01
Welcome to the Summers Report� the commentary you all pretend that you don't care about and yet secretly pray yourselves to sleep at night hoping you'll make the grade, or at the very least avoid a verbal bondage session. That's right, strap in, take the leather ball in your mouth, and hope and pray that I don't flay you until your career is a more distant memory than Michael Jackson's nose.
And this week, the Mike Summers "EWCL Holy Sh*t Mockery Award" goes to the writers of the EWCL, for inconsistency above and beyond the call of duty! Yes, this bunch of savvy wordsmiths have taken unpredictability to new-found heights and made irregularity of product quality an EWCL staple! 'What the Hell is he going on about?' I hear you all muttering through your Twinkies and Diet Cokes? What I am trying to say in the most entertaining and lengthy fashion as I may (I do get paid by the word people� never forget) is that this week's Venom was an incomparable effort! This show, by far and away, was perhaps the best of the year (Hah! That "perhaps" really messes that sentence up, doesn't it?! Wonder how many of you caught that?!). The show clicked from beginning to end. Everything seemed to work� which coming off the last Venom (does anybody remember two weeks ago?!) is a feat indeed! Bravo!
Now, before I tackle the "Hits" and "Misses" this week, I'll just say a quick word about High Stakes. High Stakes was� not bad. In fact, I'd even go so far as to say High Stakes was� good. It will not come up for contender to the "Pay-Per-View of the Year Award" next year, but it was a solid, entertaining show. It's such a shame nobody was watching�. Yes, that's right� as predicted, the buy-rate for High Stakes was abysmal. Even Cazzo is hiding how bad the buy-rate for this show really was. The lack of fan interest was not surprising really after that last Venom. Still, kudos to Cazzo and his team of often-incompetent writers and bookers for bouncing back and putting on a great show with very little left to work with.
On with the show�.
The Hardcore Hero Saphio �
You know, I was one of the guys who questioned the decision to allow Saphio to run with the Hardcore Title. To me, his act just didn't scream Hardcore the way Prohibition's or Johnson's does. That said, Saphio is fast establishing himself as a worthy Champion. Having defeated Super Trouper (okay, it's been eating me up for over a year now and I have to get it out before I am consumed� isn't a Trouper a circus performer???!!!), the Hardcore Division's self-proclaimed poster child Dan Prohibition, Steel, and Fazzer, Saphio's proven that he wasn't just stuck with the title until Cazzo had something more for him. One of the hardest workers in the EWCL today, he deserves all the success that comes his way. Hey, was that Exile-ian poetry? Nah� mine made sense.
Exile and Roadblock Comedy Month �
Yeah, I get sick of mentioning Exile too, but hey, let's face it� the guy is worth his weight in fuzzy dice. After a disastrous Star Wars angle nearly killed his momentum, Exile's bounced back to toilet humour and abuse awareness. Sure, he lost two straight matches at High Stakes, and deservedly, but if that was a backstage warning to tighten his act, Exile sure must have listened. After a week of entertaining, if often unrelated promos, Exile returned to Venom to score a pinfall victory over the fastest up-and-comer in the EWCL since Danny Christ (Yeah Neil, I'll call him "Miraculous" when he rises from the hole he's been hiding in and resurrects his potentially star-studded career)! Tying his creative promos into his competition for the week will ensure Exile's reign really meant something when his time to drop comes. If he's willing to immerse himself in a feud with Osbourne this month, 'Christmas in Hell' might be one of the best shows of the year�.
"The Impact" �
Eddie may have lost on Sunday, but there can be no doubt that unless he's held back for "not paying his dues" (can the EWCL afford to go down that road at this financially crucial time?), Eddie has won himself a Main Event run against Exile. Even if Eddie is unsuccessful in capturing the Title from Exile by 'Christmas in Hell', he'll have cemented himself a spot at the top of the card, which means of course� a Title run will not be far off in the future.
Sean Corvik �
"Didn't Sean lose too?" you ask? My, aren't we asking a lot of questions today?! Yes, Sean lost to Mystic this week (and no, I won't say Mystic cheated by using a "rake to the eyes"�. That move is so commonplace these days that it hardly qualifies as cheating anymore) but it's my suspicion� and if I'm wrong on my hunch then I'll return all Neil Down's Playboys� that this is all a part of a greater storyline here and Corvik is simply proving what a Team Player he is by dropping some matches for the good of the angle. Corvik has no doubt realised that he is the most prominent superstar the EWCL has ever seen, and that therefore he has little to lose by dropping a match here or there, but enormous potential to elevate some of the brighter stars of the EWCL. Corvik knows his time on top will come again, and for now he's biding his time and attempting to make his angle all that it can be. Sean Corvik is heading somewhere with this downward spiral� and it spells character development to me. I hope I'm not wrong� I treasure those magazines� Shae Marks�. *sigh*
"Non-Hardcore" Brody James �
This kid is on a roll, and now a victory over Dan Prohibition! "Non-Hardcore" is heading for big things in this company, and hopefully petty jealousies will not derail him. James has a lot to offer a potential rival, and if worked the right way could produce a stellar feud with the right opponent. So, lets hope somebody steps up and accepts the challenge. Dan Prohibition� are you listening?
Xtreme �
Now, I'm usually one to give the new guys a go and see where the wind blows, but first match out for the rookie, first on the card, and a quick defeat. Doesn't sound good, does it? Where have I seen this kid's style before? Not enough effort during the week, and not a long enough match to see whether there is talent there. If Xtreme is to survive in the EWCL, he is going to need to kick it up a gear.
Ex-Terminator �
X-Terminator was starting to go somewhere, but has once again slipped off the wagon. Wasn't this guy involved in Creeping Death? Where did that go? Aborted pushes and a lack of commitment are damaging this guy's career. Ex-T has the size and ability to go at least as far as the Internet Title, if he puts in the time and has the discipline to give it his all. So does he? So far, doesn't look hopeful�.
4.0 this week. Had EWCL been on a roll coming into this episode of Venom, I'm sure this would have been the highest rating program ever. Unfortunately, it's no secret that the EWCL is in a bit of a slump right now, as is wrestling in general. Fewer and fewer people are watching, and so shows like a couple of weeks ago can do untold damage to the fan base. But, the ratings picked up, and that should be encouraging for Cazzo. If he can steer this boat on a similar course next week, the ratings should continue to improve.
Almost everybody was on their game this week, and everybody really seemed to want it. Thus, few "Misses" and a lot of "Hits". This can only be a good thing for the EWCL. Will it turn the financial problems around? Maybe not� especially with Jackson suing for defamation. Will it help? No doubt.
And of course, I'll be here to document and criticise every part of this ongoing soap opera that is the world of professional wrestling. After all�
Somebody needs to be the voice of reason in this mixed-up world!
Out.