Mike Summers
23/10/01
Welcome to another dose of your weekly fix from the 'EWCL Holy Shit Award' winning columnist, the incomparable Mike Summers! That's right, it's that time again where you wait with baited breath to find out who 'hit' and who 'missed' this week on Venom. But, a change is as good as a holiday so they say, and not comfortable resting upon my laurels, I, Mike Summers, the greatest luchador never to come out of Mexico, have up and changed the format on you. Love it or leave it, 'cos I'm an award winning columnist and you're not. Please send any complaints to 'I Could Care Less', c/o the EWCL.
And now, on with the show!
Big week in the EWCL, just coming off the red-hot Wreckoning Pay-Per-View extravaganza (is that word overused or what?). Looks like I was wrong� yes, I am a big enough 'EWCL Holy Shit Award' winning columnist to admit it. I was wrong. It seems the Rage retirement angle wasn't entirely an angle after all. At a Press Conference held by the big guy this last week he announced that he had indeed retired from the world of sports entertainment, contrary to what I and a great many others expected of him and the EWCL. Therefore, for the first time in almost three months, we had a new Universal Champion! Yeah, don't start cheering yet. I have more to say on that later.
For now, lets review the 'hits' and 'misses' of this week's Venom�
President Cazzo singing Michael Jackson's 'Beat It' �
If Rage had to leave to get Cazzo up and singing, I think it was one Hell of a deal. Funny stuff. This segment was just the sort of scene you could imagine after a nasty work-mate left the place of employment, and so I think it really struck a chord with most of us. I mean, who hasn't had to work with an asshole of unparalleled proportions (you should try sharing a building with Pilchard some time! You think I act as though I know everything�.)? Still, despite the humour, there was the subtle undercurrent of a deeper concern here. Stay tuned�.
Eddie "The Impact" Osbourne
First ever Hall of Famer� won the Universal Title on his first night (sure, that was when they allowed that, but it's still an accomplishment of sorts)� What more needs to be said? With The Rage gone, there was a certain Main Event gap left, and this is the man to fill it. A rather uneventful return debut, but no one could say that their interest wasn't piqued�. Lets hope "The Impact" can keep it together this time and live up to that moniker.
Exile vs. Mystic vs. Punisher
This was a class match with a lot of great spots. Exile's been skipping about just below Main Event status for quite some time now, and tonight he really stepped up and showed that he could go with the best of them. Mystic continued to impress, and the Universal Champ put in a strong performance, if unrewarded. This was exactly the sort of Main Event needed to keep the fans watching.
Crimson vs. Warlock �
Maybe these two should head down to the EWCL's Deep South Training Facility (DSTF) so they can stop stinking up the cards.
Exile's Poetic Musings -
If there was one thing I thanked the Powers-That-Be for when O'Connor left, it was the fact that I'd never have to sit through one of his ultra-inspired and ultimately nonsensical promos, or Corvik's equally inane responses. But when Exile came out and started spouting bad poetical nonsense, I felt a cold shiver run down my spine. Do we really need more of this? Exile's always been great because he brought something different to the EWCL. We've seen the poetic promo, and quite frankly we all spat on it. This is a bad turn for Exile. Lets hope the return of Roadblock will also herald the return of Exile's cavalier comedy and heel antics, or he may lose his heat faster than you can say 'What trickling of the wind-swept sand delivers us from all our wrong?'
Joe Johnson vs. Kritical Kondition �
Okay, I'm not alone in feeling that if this feud doesn't go somewhere and go somewhere fast, I'm going to reach the point of not caring faster than you can say 'What beauty carves with ebb and flow us, carved from the empty night?' Somehow these guys are ruining what is potentially one of the greatest feuds of the year. Why? Who knows? Maybe they're unhappy with it, maybe they just don't care anymore. But if these two don't put in a little more effort and make this happen, Cazzo might as well scrap the entire deal. Right now, I'm more interested in the lower card feuds than this, and that's bad news when you're talking about two of the biggest stars in the EWCL messing up a much-anticipated angle. Both these guys could be in the Main Event, but right now you'd have to think they lack the heart. Where's the fire we know burns in Corvik� that we've witnessed in his feuds with Rage and Glory? Where's the intensity that makes Joe Johnson such a star� that electricity we've experienced in his feuds with Dan Prohibition? Lets hope they find it soon.
Punisher's Universal Title Reign �
Punisher's victory over The Rage at Wreckoning, tainted as it was, served as a feel good victory for right against wrong and good versus evil. In the wake of the September 11 attacks and the War on Terror, this was hardly a surprising result. However, to have Punisher lose the match the week after rendered his title reign entirely meaningless and frivolous. Somebody must have decided that Punisher wasn't ready for the Big One, but that begs the question why he was ever given the title in the first place. If Rage had to go, surely someone else could have substituted in that match? Exile deserves a title reign, but perhaps we could have stretched out the chase for at least a month? This was a terrible slap in the face to Punisher, an EWCL veteran, and while it made for shocking television, I can't help but feel a little sorry for the guy.
Venom pulled in a 4.3 rating, the highest ever, but there was a lot missing in this show. Some of the plot lines were confusing to say the least, and some matches failed to deliver as promised. Lets hope everybody finds their mark for next week. That said, there was also a lot right with Venom this week. With Exile at the helm, we may just see something we haven't seen before in the Universal ranks... that is, if he drops the tired old 'too-smart-for-wrestling' act we've seen too many times before. The lower card is really shaping up, creating a solid base around which the rest of the card can take shape. Punisher now faces his ultimate test� can he recapture the gold and prove that his title victory wasn't a mere fluke, instituted at the whim of President Cazzo? Next week should really tell. Are we headed for a great run into the next pay-per-view, or a slump the likes we haven't seen for some time? The potential is there� the talent is there� lets see the heart.